To be filled out in reference to your first pregnancy . . . kinda fun.  And nostalgic.  So of course I not only posted a bulletin with it but blogged it as well. 

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Oh yes. It was still a shock to get pregnant the first try, so to speak.

2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes,

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? I was through the roof excited. And scared, of course, since it was still so early.

4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Nope

5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 23

6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I took one of the early pregnancy tests 5 days before I was even supposed to get my period, and surprise!! It was positive. I was 3.5 weeks pregnant.

7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? My husband . . . since he was the one who made me take the test early!! Then my mom.

8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Well, how else do you know what to buy? Of course.

9. DUE DATE? My original due date was August 3rd, 2006. They changed it after my first ultrasound to July 27th. He actually came early, on July 11th.

10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? I had about 2 weeks where the mere thought of eating was enough to make me vomit. Other than that, not really.

11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Lemons in the first trimester . . . I'd sit there and just eat them . . . like, 6 or 7 whole ones at a time. And Angie and Liz well remember Lemon Month at Souplantation . . . the second trimester I mostly wanted Diet Coke, but it had to be from the tap, not the bottle, and preferably from McDonalds. My tastebuds became very discerning, lol.

12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? hhhmmm . . . no one in particular.

13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILDS SEX? Male

14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Actually, I was convinced it was a girl, to the point where I argued with the ultrasound technician . . . it took me a week to stop referring to my belly as "she". But disappointed?? No.

15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? 35

16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yup

17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew

18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Not until 33 weeks, at which point I went into premature labor. I spent my last 4 weeks on a nasty medication I had to take every 6 hours by an alarm to keep from having him, and on modified bed rest. My doctor gave me the ok to stop taking them at 37 weeks; my son was born the next day. And he was breech.

19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Inland Valley Medical Center

20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 4 weeks . . . ( : just kidding. I think maybe 4 hours? I didn't realize I was really in labor at first, and they decided to cut him out within 20 minutes of us arriving at the hospital, because he was breech still. We got there at 6:15 and handed us a baby at 7:22. I only dilated to 2 cm. before they made that decision, and my contractions never got too horrible.

21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? My husband

22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? My husband

23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? C-section

24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? well, with a C-section . . . they don't so much give you a choice.

27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?? 7lbs 15oz

28. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS?? just the fact that he thought it'd be a good idea to come backwards. And he was so full of fluid he didn't eat for almost 3 days.

29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? James Terence Byrne

30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 13.5 months.

So, it's official.  This August we will be moving back to the OC.  My mom is being kind and wonderful enough to rent us her home . . . which is sort of ironic because before she bought it 3 years ago, she rented it from my grandmother for close to 20 years.  I guess it's kinda gone full circle.  I'm always nervous about mixing family and business . . . but in this case it feels right.  Financially, it will literally save our asses.  AND our dog.  As far as renting goes, it's almost impossible to get a landlord to agree to a rottie . . . so this is good for her.  So, after this massive downward spiral we've been on financially, things are starting to look up a bit.  Can't wait to be close to everyone again!!!

These next 2 months are going to be insane . . . James' first birthday, my 25th birthday, engagement parties, bridal showers, bachellorette parties, weddings, and, oh yeah, moving.  Crazy.  It's like, every weekend is booked already through September.  I thought being at home would make me less busy, not more.  Anyway, enough of that.

My paranoia is kicking in again.  I won't go into detail, but those of you who know me well, know how I am, lol.  I just need to take a proverbial deep breath and step back, and realize I'm NUTS.

Thank you to all of my friends who have so there for me . . . you know who you are, and you mean the world. 

--Me

Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby. ?
? I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
? I never thought about immunizations. ?
? Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on. ?
? Pooped on. ?
? Chewed on. ?
? Peed on. ?
? I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. ?
? I slept all night. ?
? Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. ?
? Or give shots. ?
? I never looked into teary eyes and cried. ?
? I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. ?
? I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. ?
? Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down. ?
? I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. ?
? I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. ?
? I never knew that I could love someone so much. ?
? I never knew I would love being a Mom. ?
? Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. ?
? I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. ?
? I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. ?
? I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy. ?
? Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. ?
? I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. ?
? I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. ?

Yeah.  I've been thinking.  I blog too much.

It still is beyond belief to me that that big ole belly of mine became this amazing little boy.  Being a mommy is the hardest job I've ever done, but also the most rewarding.  I'll have an awful night with him, where he's up constantly and we don't get much (sometimes any!) sleep, but then, the next morning, he'll give me one of his new (and beautiful!) huge smiles, meant just for me, and it's all worth it.  I could go on and on about him, but I try to remember that not everyone is as fascinated with my son as I am.

I'm now contemplating my options for the future.  It's looking like we can't actually afford for me to go back to work.  I'm scared to be a full time mommy . . . I used to truly enjoy working . . . but at the same time Bill and I both have a hard time with the idea of daycare at this point.  Plus I don't make enough to make that decision make sense.  So, it looks like I will be staying home with Mr. James, at least for the time being.  If someone had told me a year ago, or even right when I got pregnant, that I would be a stay at home mom, I would have laughed my head off.  And yet, here I am.  It's a little scary. 

Life is really good for us right now.  We've got our family, we're finally starting to settle into this monster of a house, and in the past months, we have made some amazing friends.  Most of whom were in our lives before at some point.  Anyway, to those of you who read this, I have really enjoyed getting to know you ( or re-know you ) and thanks for everything!!

So on Monday, July 10th, I stopped taking my crack pills per my doctor's instructions.  On Tuesday, the 11th, we were doing some (light!!) unpacking in our new house, and I was feeling sorta tired and hot, so we decided to call it a day and go see Pirates of the Caribbean.  I was having what I assumed were Braxton Hicks contractions all the way there, but I ignored them.  They didn't hurt at all and weren't anything more than mildly annoying.  Besides, I was determined not to have this baby till I was DARN READY for him!!  We were a little early for the movie, and decided to sit in the theater and wait, and it was the darnedest thing, but those contractions just kept on coming.  Finally, just as the movie started, I stole Bill's watch and started counting in between.  Wouldn't you know, they were every 6 minutes apart.  And then they were every 5 minutes . . . then every 4 . . . halfway through, we left the theater, just in case.  I still figured it was nothing, and didn't want to go to the hospital because I was sure they'd laugh at me and send me home . . . my due date was still 3 weeks away, after all . . . but I called the doctor's office and they said go in, and Bill was pretty insistent.  So, reluctantly, I allowed myself to be coerced into going down to the hospital.  We walked in at approximately 6:15 pm.  The nurse immediately informed that she could tell that I wasn't in labor by my face.  Well, that wasn't news to me . . . no way was I having a baby.  And they were making fun of me, just like I thought they would.  Then the second nurse came in and hooked me up to the contraction machine.  No sooner was it on then she was asking me if I had just had a contraction.  Well, I had just had one of those pesky Braxton Hicks, so I said yes.  She decided to check my cervix.  I was one centimeter dilated and 80% effaced; she also said my baby's head was right there!!!  That was exciting, because as you know, he was breech up until this point.  Still I thought they'd send me home.  My doctor came in, and the nurse told him the stats.  He was excited about the head too, and got the ultrasound machine.  Turns out she was feeling his butt.  His head was still very high in my ribcage.  The HE checked my cervix.  Now I was 2 centimeters dilated, and I could tell by his face that I wasn't going anywhere.  I asked him what the deal was.  He said the 4 most defining words of my life to date: "Wanna have a baby?"

AAAAHHHHH!!!!

This was NOT how I had planned our evening to proceed.

Then he went on to tell me that in his opinion, the baby wasn't going to be turning, not now, not ever, and since he had just seen the anestesiologist and his assistant, we could do a C-section now, or we could wait 6 hours, have it be an emergency, and have a Chinese fire drill trying to find everyone and STILL do a C-section.  I took a deep breath, asked him how soon was now, and was told, "Right now."  It was by this point about 6:45 pm.  I gave my consent as they put in my IV (which they missed twice before getting in) and became quickly hysterical.  It was happening so quickly.  Bill tried to hold my hand as he made the necessary phone calls (he didn't even get through all of them) and we both signed papers.  At 7:22 pm, they showed us our son, all 7lbs 15oz and 20 inches of him.

So I always thought a C-section was just another way to have a baby.  Turns out it's MAJOR ABDOMINAL SURGERY, and oh yeah, it hurts.  You know that scene at the end of Braveheart, where they eviscerate William Wallace?  Yeah, it's like that.  Your arms are pinned at your sides, you can't move your legs (or feel them, for that matter), and you can feel them rearranging your internal organs.  Thank God for that drape they put across you, because I can't imaging visualizing what I was feeling.  Yes, technically, you are numb from the waist down, but you still feel the pressure of what they are doing, and it's not pleasant.  I didn't even get to hold my son when it was over.  They sort of put him next to my face, but man, did I just want to put my arms around that gorgeous creature!  They then took Bill and the baby to the nursery, stapled me shut, and it was off to recovery for an hour before I was reunited with my son.  By that point, my poor abdomen was letting me know all about the evisceration, so they had given me a shot of Demerol.  Once we got to our room, our families were allowed in in pairs for a maximum of 5 minutes (strictly enforced) and were all booted out at 9:30.  Bill was allowed to get me my bag, and then he was forcibly removed as well.  It was like, hey, your legs are still numb, your baby is 2.5 hours old, we're gonna keep giving you morphine (thank God!) and you're on your own for the night.  Obviously, we all survived, with some minor hitches here and there.

Now, three weeks later, Baby James is beautiful, mommy is almost back to normal, and mommy and daddy both are exhausted beyond belief.  But hey, I've already lost 20 of 33 pregnancy pounds.

I can't believe how easily you fall in love with this little person who is a complete stranger.  He owns my heart, no questions.

Know what I hate?  Unsupportive people.  Would it be so hard to offer congratulations rather than recriminations, just one time?  Bill and I are adults now . . . and as such, we are allowed to make our own decisions and make our own way in this life.  If people feel we are making the wrong decision, well . . . opinions are welcome, talking to us as if we are uneducated and stupid is not. 

This is hardly the first time we've been in this particular situation.  And we've done pretty well for ourselves, as young as we are.  It'd be nice, for once, to have that acknowledged.  Contrary to popular belief, we have worked very hard to get where we are.  Nothing has been handed to us.  It is not our fault that not everyone's lives are as such.  And, believe it or not, we have even had to make sacrifices, of the kind that most people do not have to ever make. 

I wish our lives were easy.  They are not.  I wish that we really were small minded and ignorant.  Maybe our lives would be easy than. 

Not to sound cliche, but give us just a little respect.  And to those of you that do, this was not directed at you.

So today, we officially opened escrow.  Have I ever mentioned how much we hate escrows?  The word is enough to invoke the chills in both of us.  Can you believe it?  I can't.  It's very exciting,  And way scary.  But yay, baby James will have a bedroom of his own when he comes, even if we decide to still have him in O.C. for a few weeks so everyone gets to see him and we can take care of my mom.  I feel a lot better about things now, so at least that's a little weight off my shoulders.  Here is a link if anyone wants to see it.  http://www.imrmls.com:8080/servlet/lFullDetail?proptype=RESIDENTIAL&ml=I611651

In other news:

*There is a baby in my ribcage.  Sometimes I have to push him down.

*My bra size is now a Dcup.  Scary.  And I still have 2 months to go.

*I have lots of laundry to do.

THE END

We just did the second half of our 4D ultrasound experience.  I made one of those slideshow thingies with the better pics on my profile, so those of you that are interested can see them there.  He is not very cooperative, but he IS very cute . . . he has big ole chubby cheeks and a very cute nose.  The tech also told us that the reason the top of his head looks so lumpy in ultrasound is because he has a full head of hair!!  Funny, I never pictured him with hair . . .

I love seeing these pictures of him before I even get to meet him . . . I did get kind of emotional at one point, but it is a very moving experience to be able to see your baby's face before you even get to hold him!!  I can't wait to meet this little boy and hold him for the first time, and I can't believe we're only about 2 months away from that!!

That's all for now, thought I'd try posting something a little more uplifting after my last post.