gottheschpilkes: pml youve got me going INSANE now

donutsNcider: SRSLY

donutsNcider: ITS KUNTAYJUSS

gottheschpilkes: KUNT

donutsNcider: pml

donutsNcider: i KUNT top that

gottheschpilkes: god damn

donutsNcider: TWAT could i ever say to top that

donutsNcider: perhaps my PUSSY cat could try

donutsNcider: but....my VAGINA.

donutsNcider: im shaking the table and drooling milk on it

gottheschpilkes: pml

gottheschpilkes: lmlmm

gottheschpilkes: pml the last one

donutsNcider: pmlgj

donutsNcider: sereously

donutsNcider: cant see

gottheschpilkes: pml tears

gottheschpilkes: pml my VAGINA

donutsNcider: pml ik just thought about how badly i hated my life and just laughed hard

donutsNcider: pmlashgj

gottheschpilkes: pml ever get so much spit in your mouth you dont know what to do

donutsNcider: pml YES

donutsNcider: thast usually where  give up and just let it FLOW out of my mouth

gottheschpilkes: you just did hta tot me

donutsNcider: pdahml

gottheschpilkes: im making ATTRACTIVE sucking noises

donutsNcider: AJSDGKJ

donutsNcider: kipper came over here and i fucking latched onto his face and screamdd "HI GIBBY" at him and wouldnt let hjis jowls go

gottheschpilkes: pml i just went to wipe tears and got stuck on the corner of my mouth and dragged some spit out

donutsNcider: everyone suffers when i go insane

donutsNcider: SDLGAKDNH

gottheschpilkes: cannot handle life right now

donutsNcider: ADOJG

donutsNcider: oarg

donutsNcider: you drug spit out of your mouth

donutsNcider: pml fuk that you got STUCK on yoru fcking mouth

gottheschpilkes: pml i snotted when i read that back to myself

donutsNcider: dafjh

gottheschpilkes: im unbelievably attractive right now

This could be dangerous.

This could be dangerous because thinking about you, for whatever reason, makes my heart skip a beat. Makes my pulse quicken and my mind race. It puts ten thousand pounds of butterflies in my stomach, and turns my knees into a consistency better suited for gelatin.

With all these symptoms, I'd be better off in the hands of a doctor right now. "Doc, you gotta help me. I've been having these problems for weeks now. In fact, in just a few days, it will have been exactly a month! Doc, you've just gotta do something!"

He'd ask me a few questions; standard procedure. He'd look me over for a bit. Check my heart (why, your heart is missing a few beats), check my pulse (hmm, your pulse is a tad fast), check my stomach(odd, there seems to be a fluttering in here), and check my knees (no reflexes at all, very wobbly).

After the run-down, I'd just have to know what was wrong. "Please Doc, please tell me the news! Is it a virus? Is it bacterial? Oh Doc, is it cancer? Will I be needing surgery? Please tell me doc, I can't take this anymore!"

He'd laugh. "No, no, no. It's nothing like that. Minus your symptoms, you seem to be in great health. In fact, your blood pressure is quite low. Your immune system appears to be stronger than ever. And, oddly enough, your stomach muscles have gotten stronger, as if you've been laughing at comedians day in and day out."

"Well Doc, that's all great news, but what about my illness? The longer we sit here, the longer we wait for the cure!"

"Oh," he'd say, producing a laugh again, "there's no cure for what you have. Nope, no cure at all."

"Doc!" I'd say, as I clutched his hand, "Doc you can't do this to me! It's your job to take care of me! To cure me! To keep me in great health!"

"Oh, but you're in great health," he'd say, taking his clipboard off the wall and opening the examining room door.

"Then cure me of this, Doc, cure me!"

Opening the door and taking a step out, he'd look up from his charts at me and smile, only saying "I'm sorry my dear, but there's just no cure for love."