Today was a pretty good day, hung out with Whit for a good bit of time, bowled for the last time for like 4 months(indifferent about it)...and now work...which is well...work. But all in all it was a much needed happy day. Hope more are in the future!

Well, first off, if you are wondering what the hell Cluckles is...well it's a character in a game I'm playing...(See profile picture) Doesn't he just kick some major booty? Well haven't really written anything for a while but I guess now is as good of a time as ever. I should be starting on work right now...but I can't seem to focus. Really tired so maybe that has something to do with it. Life is going pretty good right now, I can't really complain. Whitney seems to be happier, money situations seemed to be clearing up, still work on 3rd shift, but hey, everything can't be perfect can it? I've really diggin my Xbox, but it is probably more of a problem then a help. It draws my attention away from necessities...and I gotta be a little more responsible such as maybe getting to work. Haha, so I guess I should, take care all, night night, and wish it could be for me!

I'm kinda down right now, actually have been the past day or so. I think I just gotta let my thoughts go and push them deep down and not express them anymore. No good ever comes from them when I do speak my mind. I think I end up hurting people more then it does good. Now not only do I not feel any better but I made some one feel angry and depress. I just need to not complain, act more happier and I think things will be better. I'm sorry to you Whitney for any problems that I caused you yesterday. It was not my intention to hurt you, or act as though I was pickin at you. I love you with all my heart! I'm also stuck on going away for a vacation weekend, even though I feel a little better about my opions now. I just don't want to disappoint I guess. It really is for Whitney because she's been under a lot of stress from school and life in general and I want to make sure I can come up with something to help relieve the pressure. Well I must get some work done. Fucking so much work here to be done...it's rediculous I gotta come into this shit. Well Take care, hope everyone has a good night.

Wow, I just don't know what to do now. Oh well, problems seem to find a way of fixing themselves I guess. Well I could tell about how my day was or how I did at bowling, but no one really seems to care. I keep thinking about that seen from "The Breakup" when she tells him, "I just want you to want to do the dishes" and he responds, "Why would I want to do the dishes?" Haha, yeah, funny shit. I might watch that tonight, or V for Vendetta. Depends what all I got going on tonight. I'm looking for getting some good sleep though this morning. I can't wait, so warm under the covers. Well I'm off, to save another Ad from desoliteness. Take care and I hope you have a good one, I know I won't.

Well I must say I'm doing a hell of a lot better than last night, maybe I was just in a mood or something. I could just be dissembling though. Excited about tonight...because I don't have to work, and I'll be hanging out with Whitney. Doing what? I don't know...but I'm sure we will freestyle something. I honestly can not believe the chemistry I have with her some times. Well I must get back to work, which hasn't been too bad today, hopefully it won't get any worse.

So lonely right now, I'm only thinking, and thinking, and thinking, which is definitely not a good place for me to be right now. Maybe I just look too far into things or something. I'm don't want to just sit around and wait tonight, but I really want to see Whitney. Besides a little bit this afternoon before bowling, I haven't seen her at all the past 3 days. I'm optimistic I'll get to see her, but I wouldn't be surprised if I didn't get to see her either. Even if she does come over it won't really be worth it because we really won't do anything except sit and watch TV or something along those lines and I know that has to be boring for her. I wonder if anyone else ever thinks that there problems are petty. I mean so many things could go worse in someones lives, I should be thankful that for the most part I am healthy, physically that is. Do I ever annoy people? Hell yeah I do...that's one of my worse qualities, I need to improve that. I need to improve a lot of shit if I want to get back into good graces and so forth. I hope I can make the changes that it takes. I think I'm just a really needy person, and I hate that I've been so needy of Whitney, which is really going to suck now because she has school, and I want her to really concentrate this time around because I know I'm the reason she got fucked over by Millersville, her grades started to decline as soon as she started hanging around me more and we were dating. I hear a siren, hope someone is dying. Sorry, it sounds kinda kinda morbid, I'm probably a jinx just waiting to happen though. I did okay at bowling this evening, almost had my first Triplicate, so that was one good thing that happened tonight, 191, 191, and 190, were all over my average so it was a good bowling week, pretty much lost all three games though so where there is light somewhere, of course there is darkness elsewhere. Sorry that I sound so down, I know it's not the fun side of me that people are probably more use to, just don't really have anything to look forward to on any given day anymore. Well I'm going to go take a shit, which may actually bring me some joy to my tummy. Good night everyone.

Sigh, I just don't know what is wrong with me, I feel kinda empty lately. Like I'm searching for some sort of answer to a question I don't know. I mean I feel as though I've been depressed and I've been trying my best to keep it in, but I just don't know how much longer I can do it. I just want to be happy, the past couple days I really haven't woke up and had an optimistic outlook on the day which is usually very unlike myself. I think I would lean on Whitney a little but I don't know what she could do for me when I don't even know what's wrong with me. Also she has so much stuff going on with her, specially now that she is going back to school that I want to be there for her and not give her anything else to worry about. I hung out with Creed a little bit tonight and that was fun, still didn't kick the bug outta me. Maybe it's just because I was sick, I mean I'm not anymore, but I was. I don't know...maybe I'll feel better after I wake up tomorrow. Lets hope. Good night all!

Well not much going on in here at work so I get to bless everyone with a blog entry. Had a great Christmas and now that Christmas is over I get to play with all my toys, well most of them. Seeing as the weather has been prodicting rain I've opted to hold off on wearing my new Bengals coat that Whitney got me. It's really nice and really warm, so hopefully we will have some cold and non-damp weather coming up here soon that I can utilize it. It'll be my special coat since it's suede I don't want to get it wet. It would actually be really nice to get a coat cover of some sort so that I can cover it when it's in the closet too. It'll be my baby, Haha. I've been listening to my comedy CDs and was really pleased to see I got some of the ones that I wanted, I got my Jeff Green CD which was my absolute must, so since I got that I was really happy, infact that had to be shipped from Switzerland. So that has been keeping me entertained at work while it's still been kinda slow. I like when it's slow though because I can opt to take off after working 6 hours most of the time. I got a new bowling ball which I have to go get drilled before I start using but even without my new ball and bowling shoes yesterday at bowling I had probably my best day at bowling, not that anyone really cares but I bowled not only my best Series, and my second highest game, and probably my most impressive game. I bowled 200, 191, and 279 for a 670 series. 30 more pins I would have been my first 700, I'm on the edge of breakin loose. The 279 was literally 1 pin shy of a 300! If I only would've just had that pin carry a little more I would've had a 300. Now thats a 288 and a 279 this season so I'm going to go out on a limb and say I can forsee me getting a 300 sometime in my career. That would make it perfect. On top of my awesome night at bowling both Terry and his dad had 600 series, actually 652 and 643 respectively so that we could steal all 3 games, and all we did is get better as the night went on. Good asperations for the second half of the season. That now moves us to 50% on the second half. Tonight is going to be a good night as well because Whitney and I both don't have to work at all so we can go and relax and do whatever our little hearts desire, including getting to bed early. I need sleep, sleep sounds so good. Well I best be getting this one ad done, then I'm going to do a little surfing if we are still with out work.

Well this is my first myspace Blog, lets see if anyone notices...I don't think that people get notified when I leave a blog on here so it'll probably go unnoticed. Anyway, I'm kinda feeling shitty today. I don't think it's just because of the Bengals loss because I was kinda prepared for a loss anyway. I just kinda feel like I'm missing something. Like I'm kinda being over looked. I know this is just probably me being some sort of stupid sensitive feeling, but I kinda feel lonely. I really don't know who or how to comunicate this to so I'll probably just swallow it and in good enough time I'll feel better. I think I'm going to take tomorrow off of work, because I have a spare day and that would be a good time as any to use it. Actually to tell you the truth I probably would've taken it today but LPC is having their own Christmas luncheon so I want to partake in that and if I would've took off today, everyone in at work here would've given me shit and told me that I took off because the Bengals lost yesterday and I in no way, shape or form will ever do something that stupid. Yeah they lost, and yeah it pissed me off, but I'm not going to really let it get me down, enough other stuff can do that. I hope I get to maybe see Whit a little bit tonight after she gets out of the movie. I think I'm kinda getting on here nerves a little, which I hate, but I don't know how to fix it. Maybe just shutting up will hurt. I hate that I had her come over last night because it wasn't much fun for her or I. While I was miserable during the Bengals game she was bored and sleeping, and then after the game I encouraged her to head to bed so I never had a chance to really get to talk to her and converse because she was pretty beat. I miss her all the time, and I wish I could restrict those feelings so I don't feel like crap when I am missing her but I just can't. Work is kinda busy right now, so I shouldn't be taking the time to write this stuff, but if I don't write now, and vent, then it'll just stir in my mind. That's alway been a problem lately, I've been having a hard time falling to sleep sometimes because I'll have shit stirring in my mind and just won't be able to fall asleep even if I'm exhausted. Once I'm asleep though I sleep pretty heavily. Well I'm heading back to work, I just want to turn this frown upside down. :o(