Well, I am taking off soon.  It is a pretty bittersweet thing to be leaving this group.  The ministry is absolutely amazing, the people seem like close friends, and it is a great feeling to be just a cog in this big machine.   I am not quite sure what to write, because I don't really know what to think right now.  I am in a bit of denial.  But that's cool; I felt like I was in denial that I was going to Mongolia two months ago as I was heading to the airport.  Please pray for my trip home, that I don't get lost/miss a flight/be sold to gypsies.  I am stopping in Incheon, S. Korea, for 14 hours, so I will catch a bus into town, and hopefully not be lost.  It will be an adventure, and I think I know where I am going.  But I'm not quite sure, so that's where the adventure will come in. 

     My stomach is feeling much better now, so thanks for the prayers about that.

Well, to sum up the trip for now, I have some things that I have learned, mainly out in the countryside.

1)Breakfast is at 9:20, and lunch can be at 10.  If you do not eat enough, peer pressure will be applied.  Forcefully.

2)When you are white, and bathe in the stream, expect visitors to show up.

3)Older women like to feel your muscles (even if you don't have much).

4)Mongolian TP and GI issues should never be mixed.

5)The green pieces of vegetation in your rumen (yes, as in cow stomach) soup are not parsley.

6)Even though it is poured out of a Sprite bottle, it probably is not Sprite. 

7)Mongolians think is is hilarious when you take a huge draught from the said sprite bottle and sputter and cough.  It is a new "sprite" made out of distilled potatoes. 

8)Grilled cheese with jam go well together in Mongolia.

9)Tomato sauce and pastries go well together in Mongolia

10)Cold cow stomach, liver, kidneys, and other visera go well together in a cup of hot tea, in Mongolia.

 

Thanks for all the prayers and support, and I will write later when I get a chance.

     Love,

      Justin

  I just made it in yesterday afternoon from my final trip to the countryside.  I was in Gobialta, which is where the gobi meets up with some mountains, so there were some amazing views and people I got to meet.  I traveled out with one vet from Tennesse, two mongolian vets, and our faithful super-driver Nergui.  Safe and sound, I am back in the city, with maybe a few extra hitchhikers.  One of the vets is pretty sure that I have giardia, so I am off to the pharamcy soon to get some tinidazole (for those of you that might whan to know the drug).  The past two weeks were a little uncomfortable with the little critters, whatever they may be.  If you all could pray for me that this drug will work, and the problem will be resolved before the 40+ hour trip home.  Please pray.....

       I will hopefully be getting pictures up of this last trip, once I get all the other pictures up from the trip before.  But ya, this trip was great.  We covered over 3000 km  (1900mi) in an old russian-made van.  These vans are one great thing that has come out of the motherland.  They might not be the most pleasing to the eye, but that it fine.  The insides are padded (with I think is to make up for the shocks) and the windows pivot, so that you can aim the air, if you are going fast enough for sufficient wind to be generated.  Our average speed was between 30 and 60 km/hr (20 and 40 mi/hr).  So looking at the distances and the speeds, you can figure that there was alot of time that we spent in the van.  Another thing that adds to this van's repitior is that there are no electronics, so you can actually fix it yourself (if you know anything about cars, which I really don't).  The starter started acting up, so Nergui took it apart, replace a piece, and rebuilt it.  And at another point, the fuel pump broke when we were driving.  Luckily, Nergui had a spare, so, wham, bam, and one hour later we were on the road again.  Sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) simplicity is great. 

       The desert really felt like one.  It was not the sandy deseret of the southern Gobi, but  flat.  With rocks.  Lots of little pebbles, some rocks, a few proper chunks of stone, and every now and then a really decently sized rock.  It was quite exciting sometimes.  And lots of skeletons.   That is what confirmed that it was a desert.   In a half hour, I counted 33 skeletons of cattle, horses, goats,  and sheep.  In the mountains it was nearly as desolate.  I am amazed that animals, much less people, survive out there.  The work ethic and shear determination is what keeps them going.  And by them, I mean most all the women, and some of the men.  It was interesting to see so many women working away, with groups of men just milling around town or crowding into the shade of a building, shooting the breeze, drinking the vodka, not really doing anything.  Before I came here, I agreed with VetNet not to drink out here because alcoholism is a real problem for the men, and VetNet does not want to encourage, condone, or cause anyone to stumble, which I agree with.   And I really agree with it now.  I guess one of the ills soviet Russia brought in was the socialist system, where you did not have to work as hard and get your pay, and alcohol.  Not a good combo.  There was one vet that showed up drunk at night, continued drinking that morning.  He never sobered up.   That afternoon, he started acting like he was having a heart attack, so him son drove him.  So, pray for him too.  I better get rolling to the Pharmacy, so I will write, well, probably tommorow.

     Love,

     Justin

   

     I leave tomorrow for my final trip to GobiAltai.  It is an area where the Gobi desert meets up with mountains, so it should be amazing.  And ridiculously hot.  It has been 100 degrees in the city for a few days, and I can only imagine that the desert is probably hotter.  I am traveling with two Mongolian vets and a vet from Tennesse.  I am really looking forward to the group. Johnny, the american vet, is quite the character, so it will be an interesting trip. 

     It is strange that the trip is coming to an end.  These weeks have just blown by, and I can't believe that there are ony two and a half weeks left.  I am looking forward to seeing all of you, and finding out how your summers were, and being around people who all speak english.  Sometime the whole "I-don't-know-really-what-you-are-saying-so-I-will-try-to-guess-or-just-nod" is pretty mentally tiring sometimes.  Thanks again to everyone who has supported me one this trip, with both money, prayers, e-mails, and all that other stuff.  And random Monty Python Quotes  (Andy).  And scheming semi-illegal activities (Will).  And good advice, like "try not to pee in anyone else's shed, OK?" (Kristin, and by the way, I miss you!).  Ya I sort of peed in a vet's shed when he invited us over to his place at night.  The shed looked like an outhouse, and it was really dark, and I had been holding it for a few hours.  I realized it was not a shed when there was no hole to be found, and what I thought was a hole, really wasn't.  But by that time, there was no turning back. 

    The people out here have been awesome.  Just like a subsitute family and freinds.  But I still miss you all.   I better get packing since I leave in seven hours, I have three phone calls to make, more postcards to write and packing to do.

  Thanks again everyone, and I will report back in two weeks.

       Love,

Justin

P.S.  English sucks.  I have taught it for a month now, and it is a horrible language.   But that is another entry.  

   I don't ever want to use the phrase "poor college student" again.  I have no idea, really, what it is like to be poor.  As a child, I have never has to beg on the streets.  I have never had to choose between buying food and seeking medical attention.  I have never felt real hunger pains because I could not get food.  I have never had people pretend that I'm invisable, that I do not exist.  I have never had people pretend like they can't hear me, that I am just a much a part of the scenery as the fence I am leaning against or the bush I am trying to rest underneath.  I have never had people be pitious towards me, but only the pity that makes then push me out of thier mind because they don't want to dwell on my suffering.

      I did that today.  I was on my way to buy some souveigners for some people, and I was asked for money by this man who had no hands and one foot.  I did not want to be inconvienenced by his pain, by his need.  I made eye contact with him, and when he asked for money, I just stuttered the word "Later".  I did not now what to do; I wanted to disappear myself.  I said in my head "Oh no," when he replied that he would wait.    I had gone out of my way to my destination (the state store) so I  could swing by the post office.  There is a direct line from the store to my apartment, and that was my planned route, not to go back towards the post office.  I just wanted to just go home, take the easy way back, and forget the unintentional words I spoke.  "Let your yes be yes and no be no."   I fet so trapped.  As I walked I past a kid what was about six who was singing on the streets to earn money.  At that age,  the only care in the world that I had was if I killed all the dinosaurs in my back yard. 

       I have seen people out there, in Haiti, in Thailand, in Mongolia, and back in the States who look like they have no hope.  You can see it in their eyes.  I can see how.  It doesn't take living on the streets to know that the world  can suck, that life is not always fair.  Hunger, disease, apathy, broken families, abuse.  I have been lucky to grow-up with a loving family.  I also know ultimately God will provide, not what I want always, but what I need, and at the right time.  That He loves me, and even when I scorn His love, he still offers it to me.  But to not have that hope, that realization, to know need like most of us can't imagine.   You would just have to harden yourself because feeling nothing, hoping for nothing, is less painful. 

     As I walked to the store, bought stuff, and went back to the streets, the thought knawed at me.  I had made a vow, whether I meant to or not.  When I finally went back, I could only give him the money and say your welcome as he thanked me.  I shook him hand? and made eye contact again; I felt like I was going to lose it.  As he said thanks, he was honest and smiled.  But I was too ashamed of myself to stay.  I felt so torn, like I was two men.  I wanted to talk to him, see if he really spoke english and listen to him.  To treat him like the human being that he is.  If there is one way to kill a person as they still live, it is to deny them their humanity,  and thier intrinsic value of being formed in the image of God and being one that God loves, whether they love Him or not. 

     I wanted to care about him more than enough to give money; to listen to him.  To really show love to him.  As I shook him hand, I couldn't.   I had to go before I broke.  I want to love, I want to care, but I don't feel strong enough.  I'm not.  But God is.  His love is enough for us, and we are supposed to give it freely, just as He has given it to us.  I think that no matter what, we will die a bit as we try to love those who desperately need it.  Love is counting the other person more worthy, more valuable than ourselves.  "Greater love has no man than he who is willing to die for his friends".  Well, we can die a bit as we continue to breath and move.  I felt that pain today.  And I turned away.  I don't want to be scared to love.  God is bigger than our pain, and He has been called Yahwe Rapha, the God that Heals.

      Boy, it really hurts to really see yourself sometimes.  

     Sorry about the long entry.  I did not plan like writing something like this earlier today.  I had some good other things to write about, but maybe the next entry. 

Please don't be scared to love.

Will you teach us how to love?
to see the things you see
walk the road you walked
feel the pain that you feel
at your feet i kneel,
i want to see you shine
see your light not mine
'cause light gives heat
your light gives heat
-Jars of Clay

sometimes when i lose my grip, i wonder what to make of heaven
all the times i thought to reach up
all the times i had to give
babies underneath their beds
hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
all the comforts of cathedrals
all the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
all the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense
-Jars of Clay as well

Man, um, I feel like I have had a loss of words the past couple of days.  It is dawning on me that I must leave here soon.  It is wild that I have already been here for over a month; it feels like I came into this country a week or two ago.    I have been trying to reflect on what God has been doing in me, but it seems like I can pinpiont it; I just feel different.  Maybe I just can't see the forest thrgouht the trees right now.  But this organization I have had the chance to work with is such an honor.  Where the was not infrastructure for the vets before, there is a huge network to provide education to the vets and teach them how to be successful, both in thier buisiness as helping the herders  have the most prodcutivity.  There is still much progress to make in this country, but Vetnet is on the forfront of the changes.   Overgrazing is a huge prolem, since having more cattle, goats, and sheep than you need is like driving an oversized SUV with bling-bling rims (to the herders).  The number of animals has increased to the point that most areas are overgrazed and theproductivity is so low because non-producing animals are not being culled.   There is a project that will be starting soon, in which Vetnet will sponsor certain herders to practice good managment, and hopefully the other herders will see the increase of production because of it and adapt thier husbandry.  Parasite control is not really used alot, and just that (which is the first big project) will drastically increase the productivity. And with productivity up, the number of animals can decline, which will boost productivity more since the grazing animals will have more food, thus increasing the births (and health of the young) and increase the amount of meat or milk from each animal.    

    Oi, sorry  for the rant.  But I am really excited about this project.  And for those of you that are interested, I can explain it much better in person; I sort of left gaps in what I wrote.  

    I need to take off for lunch with an american vet and one of the workers at vetnet soon.  I have much more to write, so hopefully I will get to it later this afternoon.  The internet has been down at the office for the most part, so  this is my only chance to write until I take off, I think. 

 More to come in a few hours.

      Peace,

               Justin

         I am back in the capital, Ulaanbaatar, and safe.  It has been quite a while since I could update, and when I last did, I was very short on time.  So there is alot to write about.  I have not clue where to start, and my brain is fighting against any attempt to make it work.  I think I will start with that.  The brain-deadness and lack of sleep.

         I went out inot the countryside to teach english with five Australians who were awesome to work with, talk to, joke with, all that good stuff.  I really can't express (maybe because of the flat-lining brain) how much having them was a blessing to me.  After that first trip, I was feeling pretty worn down.  When you are frusterated and can't adequetely express it to the person in charge because of a bit of a language barrier, it takes it toll.  Also the stuff I talked about before left me feeling pretty broken, and I was looking forward to going home way more than I should have been two weeks into the trip.  Peter, Greg, Emma, Bec, and Kylie were a Godsend, simply put.  Just to have people to talk with, to wander over countless miles, to teach with, to debate with, et cetera, was great. 

      We worked in two cities, Ulziit first, and then Hujit second.  There are many stories, interesting experiences (both really cool, and sort of disgusting) to write about, but maybe another day.  I have been teaching english and catergorizing boxes of vet supplies to take with on the countryside trips. 

     I said goodbye to the Aussies early Monday morning, and then with about 4 hours of sleep, went to work.  I sort of felt like a baby when I teared up as they left, but I am really sad that that part of my Mongolia experience is over. (Thanks you five, it was great).  But that night at about 12:30 a group of Oregon St. Vet students I had met before came into Mongolia.  I was able to hang out at night, and then in the morning before they left, which was good.  I enjoyed being able to see them off.  And then to work.

     Work.  There are big totes that the vets take into the countryside for doing work, and my job is to organize, catergorize, and find out what is needed and what should be take out.  I can't think of how many needles I counted today.  And I have some more tomorrow to do.  But this is something I am really happy to work on.  Though a bit mundane, it is really needed, and that is what I am here for.  I think I am supposed to go to dinner with one of the new vets here soon, so I should say goodbye for now.  Hopefully I will be able to write a little more later on. 

    It had been great hearing from you all, and I really appreciate the messages (I am sorry my responses are not always timely).   Well, off for food.   Mmmmmmmm....

  Two larger accidents have happened to two of the people I have been traveling with, but luckily God has not allowed things to be as bad as they could have been.  One Aussie named Emma fell from about fifteen feet onto rocks and only suffered some immpressive abraisions, but no broken bones.  And yesterday one of the Mongolian teachers I have been working with broken his radius ( albeit he was trying to stand on a basketball and fell).  The break is all the way through the bone, but it is in line with the rest of the bone now, so he just has his arm in a sling, no cast.  Apperantly the sling and splint I made is sufficient?? 

   This leg of the trip has been great though.  I have been working with some awesome australian student that have been such a blessing to me.  I wish I had more time to write, but we need to cook some dinner and prepare for our classes tomorrow.  Ya, we are teaching english out in the countryside and sharing with the kids about our faith and why we have come all the way out to Mongolia.  I hope that you all are doing well, and it will be great to see you when I return.  But I am still pretty happy to stay out here a bit longer.  Thanks for the prayers and support, and I will udpate when I get back to Ulaanbaatar in a week. 

   Love,

           Justin

  This has been a bit of a whirlwind.  I did not have much time to write before I left, and I don't quite have much time now.  I Just got in about five hours ago from the province of Tov, and I had time to shower, eat, take care of laundry, and battle the computer so I could update the blog.  I think I have 40 minutes now till the office closes.  Tomorrow I leave for another provence for 22 days to teach some english with 4 Austrailian students and some Mongolian teachers.  So about this first trip...
    We left two Mondays ago from Ulaanbaatar with a van full of two americans, two Mongolian vets, two Mongolian non-vets, and bunch of luggage and veterinary medicine and instuments.  We traveled to seven different towns, and met with vets there for continuing education, saw some animals and sort of bummed around.  This trip was quite the trip for me to start out on.  I was really tried in a few areas, but I will get to that in a bit.  The basics of life are not too foreign.  Most of the meald are a stew of either rice or noodles with potatoes, beef, a few carrots and onions.  It is amazing the different names for the same dish, just prepared slightly differently.  But the food is good.  For sleep, we either stayed in the house for ger (a yurt-type house) or camped out in a field.  The landscape is beautiful, but in two very different ways.  Some areas are green, mountainous, amazing rock formations, and breathtaking.  Other areas are different.  If is more of an awe-striking, destitute beauty that makes me wonder how animals, let alone people, live.  I will add some photos soon.  I need to leave soon, so I will make it quick. 
      When we got to the thrid town, ??????? (Zoonmod), we did nothing.  We camped for three days.  We ate, played soccer, saw the town, wrestled (I learned to wrestle Mongolian-style) and slept.  It would have been a fine break, but I did not need a break;, I went to Mongolia t work, not to chill.  The head vet of the province called a meeting, and instead of going back to Ulaanbaatar, we bummed for three days.  To make it worse the guys in charge were not the best at communicating our plans, so I found out the second morning that we we just waiting for a while.  I must admit I did not take it well.  I let some bitterness grow in my heart, and eventually I was annoyed with every little thing.  It was not good.  We finally got to meet with the vets,but there were no animals to see, so I chilled for five hours while the did buisiness plans and post education testing.   Afterwards we drove to Ulannbaatar to drop-off one of the Mongolian men, Odbaatar, so he could take care of his son, and the American vet who unfortunately started have some back problems.  By the time I got to my apartment, I broke down.  I felt so useless, confused, helpless, and above all else, I was mad at myself for my own frusteration at the people I was working with. 
   At the apartment, I had some well-needed time to myself and with God.  I talked to Him for a bit, read Ephesians 4, and meditated on my motives, my emotions, and was reminded that I am not in control.  All of us are never completely in control of our lives, and it is a huge struggle.  Sometimes we react by curling up into a ball and shut out the world around us.  Sometimes we get angry and lash out at the people around us and at God.  Sometimes we through ourselves and pity-party and wonder why the world always is so cruel to us.  None of those, of course are good.  God puts us through those trials for a reason.  We are all broken people spiritually, and we have been broken for so long that our bones have healed in the wrong position.  We are distorted from the form that God has intended for us.  Just like a broken bone that has healed wrong, we need to be broken again and then have the bone heal in the right position.  It hurts like hell sometimes, but it is always good in the end.  I definently had some issues of pride to work through, issues of control and hating the feeling of helplessness.  God had to break me, yet again, and  things are much better now.
      The rest of the trip was great when we left Ulaanbaatar again.  We saw some animals, met with vets, and chilled again.  But it was different for me.  I did not get bent out of shape like before, and just enjoyed the time that I had to get the know the Mongolians I was with again.  God really blessed me with the time to just relax with these men and make some freindships that words can't express (Really the words can't express because they did not speak much english and my Mongolian is deffinently sub-par). 
    Well, that is all the time for now, so I must go.  I would really appreciate prayers for this trip and that I take what comes with the right frame of mind. 
      Peace and Love,
          Justin

Boy, I am finally here.  I went through the state of "oh, I still have a bit of time, to holy crap, I leave in two days.  Then, suprisingly after that (ther day before I left,it turned into denile.  I have no clue if that is spelled correctly.  I think that the jet lag is finally setting in.  Well, so go from the beginning...

    Last summer is when this crazy brain-child was born.  I was backpacking and after nearly dying on the way up (slightly sarcastic but not really) I leaned agains a tree and just end up thinking that it  would be really cool to go on a mission trip next summer, help with some vet work, go for a couple months, and go alone.  Well, through a series of small happenings, I eventualy go hooked up with a group called Mongolia V.E.T. Net, thanks to Christina Tolman  (Thank you Christina!!!!!!) and all the small preparation were made, along with the big one, like droping $2000 for a plane ticket.  It has been a wild ride getting to this point, and I could see God leading me to it.  I have no clue whether I am supposed to go into full time missions, but this is something that I was supposed to do, and who knows what I will find out on this trip, or what will come down the road because of it.  Well, it is pretty much closing time here, so I will continue tomorrow and actually let people know that I have this blog up. 

 Peace,

Justin