Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.

Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.

I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.

Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.

When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.

There can be only one.

He looked all around him, not a single man nor woman stood with him, his fist clutched his blood stained blade in a death grip.  His eyes screamed not fear, or rage, but madness.  

His body was weary, his soul was tired, and finally his spirit was gone. He lowered his blade and his expression turned to one that even himself knew he could create. He looked not only defeated, but destroyed. He had cross the point of no return and in the end he had only himself to blame.

It was his thirst for battle that lead him to take on the strongest opponent of all, his over zealousness lead him to due battle with life itself.  Day by day his comrades, no not comrades, his friends perished all around him.  Whenever he thought he had gain ground, that victory was within his sights it would all be a trick of the mind.  

He know stood alone and that blood stained blade that has taken the lives of more than he could count now stayed position again his own throat. With wearly lips he spoke this words to himself more to anyone else "I grow tired of fighting, my bones are broken, my heart is torn, my soul is crushed, I have nothing left.  You've have taken everything from me and for what? Nothing gained yet everything lost. You have won, I admit defeat, I don't wish to fight anymore, I'm not even asking to grow old and die, I only wish that my death be painless and quick and that no one mourns my lost.  For those who helped this battle know they are remembered and I have not turned my back on them, but I am not strong enough to do it alone. Nor do I lack the pride to ask for help so I see only one way out."

With that the blade was swift, with a forced not controlled by his own hands, it was clean death.  No blood was spilled, not a single drop but the damage was done, taking one last breath he uttered the soundless words of thanks and he fell into his eternal forever sleep.

Love has never been defined and never will be. We read novels about love without limitations, see movies about it on the big screen or TV, and that we can live happily ever after, but it's not real life. The fact of the matter is, our expectations are sometimes too high and the poor mate we choose can't humanly live up to what our expectations are. The word "grow up" is the key to this problem. All couples have disagreements, lose their temper every so often, feel like they want to quit in the relationship and move on. When we are young, love can be so magical or hurt to the very core of a person's being and they feel like their life is over. It is because of inexperience and, in youth one is learning. Every heartbreak or every slight from another person you love helps you to become stronger and is a learning path as to what you really do want in a lifelong partner. It 'preps' you for that one true love that I can promise you will meet in the future. It's a tough road sometimes, but we all have our disappointments and lost loves, but manage to live and forge on. When you truly find love, you never lose it. You will realize the guys or girls you 'thought' you loved really wasn't love at all. This is one of my favorite poems by William Wordsworth and it's about love and youth:

Splendour in the Grass

What though the radiance which was once so bright Be now for ever taken from my sight, Though nothing can bring back the hour Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower, We will grieve not, rather find Strength in what remains behind; In the primal sympathy Which having been must ever be; In the soothing thoughts that spring Out of human suffering; In the faith that looks through death, In years that bring the philosophic mind.

William Wordsworth

The above poem expresses the thoughts through the eyes of youth into adulthood. The first part of the poem expresses how youth feels about love and the good and bad memories that have come from it, (of splendor in the grass ... means the romantism and experiences of exploring love and 'glory in the flower' means we are budding into full bloom through those experiences) but, they bring those experiences into adulthood and have to leave their youth behind ... memories and experiences are what is left from past youth, and beyond we gather faith and strength.

Don't be afraid of love and being hurt and embrace youth because it's gone in the blink of an eye!

Only you can make me feel just like a king, love you give to me so real makes me give in. Girl just like a magnet to steel your love keeps pulling me in.  If its a battle I'll fight for you, I have to win.  To prove to you my love is so deep within it even getting deeper. 

What I'm I longing for? My baby to love me more.  What I'm I long for? Babylon release the cure.  When can we see each other again? I know there's someone must be there comforting you, whenever you need a friend I'll make you mine, give me some time.

I'll surely make you mine. It may be long, now forever. I vow to get myself together.  I love you baby, always on my mind, no matter the time.

Was for the most part uneventful. I made like one or two phone calls but I did update the student database, which reminds me to set everyones status to active and double check the files tomorrow.


Yeah... I had my shoes off most of the day at work and more than once did i log onto myspace as I almost feel asleep at my desk.

On a later note I heard from my Lawyer, thats was a pretty interesting conversation, spent the night last night with one of my ex's and regret nothing.

Yeah so thats about it, nap time.  TxT Meh!

I mean its true what they say, fools fall in love and I guess I'm one of the biggest fools of all since its so undeniable that your with me for self gain, when where alone you can tell me you love me, and kiss me, and tell me I'm yours.  But to all of your friends its "I would never date him again"

I mean damn homie, but I'm not even mad at you because I do it myself, the funniest part that everyday you tell me you just want to hang out with your friends (Who are all guys) but if I tell you I'm going out with a female friends you get so super jealous. Hell you only waited 2 days since our break-up to ride your supervisor, makes me think you where already cheating .. that.

But even after I realized that you might have been a cockhound I still stayed with you, we still dated not 4 days later only to have you break up with me when we ran out of stuff to do.

What I don't get is that even if I know ALLLLLL this stuff I still say I love you, and I still mean it (I'm pretty sure you mean to write "I love this" not "I love you").

I told you I would wait till your ready and welcoming you back into my life, and you even said that you would be coming back into my life.  I hate this spell you have on me and I don't think I can break it alone.  Yes I still want you in my life and want to move away together, in every story that I told while we were dating in bliss about our future held truth to them.

I treat you way to well, for your birthday I bought you your own actually star, when your at work and express to me your hungry, I sometimes go out of my way to bring you a bite to eat.  The problem is I lost my power card and in writting this blog its helping me regain some of that back.

You have no idea how much I want you, but thats all it is, a want, not a need, they way I  see it is this, if you continue to treat me like a dirty little secret you can get your toys out from under the bed, because I'm not running back to that, I don't need the attention.

I don't care what you think about me, you'll get by without me if you want.