Have you ever heard a song and felt like it was written just for you?  Even though you know it's impossible, you connect with it on a such a level that you feel like the singer is reaching out to you and you alone and offering you advice?  I've heard a few songs like this in my life.  This is a story of one such song:  "Life Won't Wait" by Houston Calls.

The lyrics:

Change; I can’t deal with this change.
All these people, they say that it’s cause for inspiration.
But I’ve got this pain so real I see what I’ve gained
But I feel like I’ve gotten here by losing so much more.

Life won’t wait for me to get back on both my feet again.
It just likes to sucker me into the new
And then flip the switch on everything I do
‘Cause when opportunity knocks you have to let her in

Change; I could just stay the same but what would that prove to you?
I’ve got this pain so real I see what I’ve gained
But I feel like I’m setting myself up to lose it all, it all, it all.

Life won’t wait for me to get back on both my feet again.
It just likes to sucker me into the new
And then flip the switch on everything I do
‘Cause when opportunity knocks you have to let her in

I’ve got three striped squares I can’t get away from
Oh, I’ve got no four walls to call my own
Yea, I’ve got four controllers and four good friends
We keep it real until our lives all end
Whatever was I thinking?
The best times of my life are just beginning

Life won’t wait for me to get back on both my feet again
It just likes to sucker me into the new
And then flip the switch on everything I do

Life won’t wait for me to get back on both my feet again
But it doesn’t matter to me anymore
Just know that I’m going to get what I came for
‘Cause when opportunity knocks you have to let her in
When opportunity knocks you have to let her in

The Meaning:

Those of you who are close to me (probably the only ones who will actually read this) know that I've been going through a pretty dark time in my life:

Bad end to a long relationship.  Life shitting on me left and right.  Contemplating suicide.  Actually doing things to hurt myself.

All my moping, all my depression, all my lost hope ends now.  I heard this song Wednesday night and had to listen to it over and over again.  What hooked me at first was how it sounded, but when I really heard what he was saying it hit me so much harder.  I have on a few occasions put the song on repeat and listened to it ten or more times in a row (I never do that.  I can't stand to hear the same song more than once at a time).  Every line is dripping with meaning to me personally.

"Change; I can’t deal with this change.
All these people, they say that it’s cause for inspiration.
But I’ve got this pain so real I see what I’ve gained
But I feel like I’ve gotten here by losing so much more."

This verse is explaining my old view on life.  I couldn't handle the changes that have occurred recently and even though my friends would tell me, "things will get better," I couldn't believe it.  I could see positives to my situation, but the pain was so great and unbearable that everything felt unbalanced.  Why should I have to suffer so much in order to get a few things to go my way?

"Change; I could just stay the same but what would that prove to you?
I’ve got this pain so real I see what I’ve gained
But I feel like I’m setting myself up to lose it all, it all, it all."

This verse represents my feelings towards life a few days ago.  "I could just stay the same, but what would that prove to you?"  This line represents me realizing that continuing to live like I have been is not going to help anything for me.  It's not going to prove a point to anybody.  It's not going to change anything.  The last line is the fear of going through it all over again.  Maybe things will turn around for me and get better, but even if they do, life will just pull the rug out from under me again and I'll be feeling all this pain again.  Maybe worse.

"I’ve got three striped squares I can’t get away from
Oh, I’ve got no four walls to call my own
Yea, I’ve got four controllers and four good friends
We keep it real until our lives all end
Whatever was I thinking?
The best times of my life are just beginning"

This verse represents how I feel right now.  The first two lines represent how things aren't perfect for me.  I'm having to live with my parents and I haven't cared for my job lately.  Besides that I do feel very alone a lot of the time.  But the next two lines represent what I DO have going for me right now.  I've got a couple of the best friends I could ever hope for.  They've been there for me when I needed them most.  I had a gun to my head (metaphorically speaking) and these guys talked me down.  They've saved my life on more than one occasion over the last month or so and I don't know if I'll ever be able to repay them for it.  But I'm going to try.  The last two lines of course represent my current view of my suicidal thoughts.  I don't want to die.  Yeah, things can be really shitty but I still have a long life to live.  There is still a huge opportunity for me to do some good and have a lot of fun.  I was stupid to even consider ending my life.  I hope I never feel like doing it ever again.

"Life won’t wait for me to get back on both my feet again
It just likes to sucker me into the new
And then flip the switch on everything I do

"But it doesn’t matter to me anymore
Just know that I’m going to get what I came for
‘Cause when opportunity knocks you have to let her in"

The chorus and the final chorus represent my plans for my future.  Time is not going to wait for me to stop feeling sorry for myself to move on.  It's moving on right now.  And every day I sit around moping is another day wasted.  It's another day closer to death that I did nothing with.  Maybe it will wait until I get comfortable and settled in my ways and fuck me up all over again, but so be it.  I have to be willing to take that risk. 

I can't be sure if Tom and the guys meant for it to be deciphered as I have, but that's the beauty of song:  It can mean something completely different to everybody that hears it, and that's ok.  Thanks to this song (and a couple of the best guys I've ever known), I have decided to quit waiting for things to get better for me and go out and make them better myself.

My new plan:

1.  Never turn down an invitation.

In the past I have been known to decline invitations to hang out with friends for a few reasons.  Either I don't know the people they are hanging out with and, because I can be shy, would feel awkward or I feel like it's just not my thing (dance clubs).  I'm throwing that mentality out.  From here on out, I am down to hang out as long as I'm not working and don't already have plans.  No more sitting around my house by myself because I was afraid of feeling ostracized from the group. 

2.  Be more outgoing and meet new people.

A few years ago, I was a complete shut-in.  I didn't talk to anybody.  My best friends were people I didn't even like.  I only hung out with them because they tolerated me.  I've learned to open up a lot since then.  I've met all my current friends after I started at The Grand in '04.  That was a turning point in my life.  I started opening up to new people and hanging out with people I actually liked and had things in common with.  This led to me having the first girlfriend of my life.  While that relationship was fairly short and kind of fucked up, it helped me out in more ways than I could've imagined.  Since then I've been more outgoing than I was pre-'04.  I still battle with shyness and have a harder time jumping into conversations when the other people have known each other for years and I don't have a clue what they're talking about, but I'm going to try.  A few nights ago I was invited to go chill with Brandon and Annmarie.  I originally turned him down.  I was afraid it would be awkward for me since I didn't know her very well.  She ended up texting me and asking me to come out.  I decided to go for it and it turned out to be a pretty fun night.  We just sat around and talked, but I got to meet someone who is really nice and cool.  It felt good.

3.  Make more of an effort to hang out with my friends.

I've been sitting around the past few weeks hoping my friends would call me with plans to hang out.  I sat at home all day Wednesday with nothing to do.  I wanted to go out but since nobody called me I sat around and was miserable.  From now on, if I have a day off and my friends don't call me, I'm calling them.  I'm tired of sitting around by myself.  Even if all we can think of is to go sit at the Clock and talk, I want to do it.

4.  I'm going to learn something new.

I have recently decided that I really want to learn how to play guitar.  I have had two guitars for almost 8 years now, and I can only play two songs.  A friend of mine plays and is willing to teach me, so I'm hoping to be able and hang out with him more and learn.  If not, I'm going to make a real effort to teach myself.  I'm taking my guitar to Carlton's on Monday to have it looked at (I haven't played it in years and one of the pickups feels loose) and after that I'm going to do everything I can to learn some songs.  Starting with the song that has inspired all this change in my life.

So that's my story.  Turns out when I thought all I needed was one small push to end up killing myself, I also only needed one small push to be ok.  Sitting back with a new perspective on things helps me to deal with the pain.  It's a lot more effective than cutting myself was.

Listen to the album here

Everyone tells me, "Things will get better.  Just give it some time and you'll be ok."  Everyone including myself.  I wish I could believe it.  I wish I could brush this off my shoulders and move on.  I can't.  Every single day is harder to get through than the one before.  I'm reminded of my mistakes with every short breath I take.  I can't seem to take deep ones anymore.  For the first time in ten years I have seriously considered killing myself to end the pain.  I never thought anything, or anyone could ever make me feel that way.  I used to hear about people doing it and think, "They're fucking stupid.  Nothing's that bad."  Truth is, some things are that bad.  I'm not going to do it.  I promised the person I care about most in this world that I wouldn't.  I've broken promises to her in the past, but not this one.  I cut my arm four times one night a few weeks ago.  Never thought I'd ever do that.  Not deep cuts.  I wanted to try it out.  See if it helped.  It didn't.  Last night I punched a tree five or six times.  My hand was bleeding a little bit.  My knuckles are still swollen.  Rational thought be damned.  I just acted on impulse.  I don't think I'll ever truly recover from this.  I might reach a point when I can go a day without crying, but I'll never be the same.  I'll never be able to love the same.  I'll never find anybody like her.  I'll become what I've always hated.  A douche bag guy.  I'll keep everybody at a distance, afraid to get too close.  Because this pain blows.  I can't ever feel this way again.  I had the key to a happy life right in front of me all along, but now I wake up in an empty bed. 

Asshole.  Idiot.  Loser.  Fucktard.  Blind.  Selfish.  Alone. 

I hate my fucking parents house.  The place is a pig sty.  My younger brothers and sisters can't fucking pick up after themselves.  My mom doesn't do shit.  There's fucking roaches everywhere.  They crawl on me while I sleep.  They get on my food unless I hold it the entire time I eat.  My dad doesn't fucking talk to me.  I've seen him about a dozen times in the three weeks I've been back here and he's asked me once how I was doing.  My mom couldn't care less about whether I'm here or not.  The woman who can't go a day without calling one of my sisters can go months without seeing or talking to me and not be phased.  My younger brothers and sisters fight constantly and annoy the hell out of me.  My bed is a mattress on the floor in the "school room."  My inability to get out of "bed" until 5 or 6 in the evening (unless I have to work) interferes with my younger siblings' "home schooling."  This is a fact that would depress me even more if they weren't already years behind.  Anybody else know a non-handicapped 12 year old that can't read?  I can't get out of bed because I keep hoping it's all a dream and I'll wake up where I would be if I wasn't so fucking stupid. 

I don't want to do anything.  Ever.  I play games without really playing them.  I watch movies without really watching them.  My birthday's coming up, but I can't even let myself drink at the party.  Not after what happened last time.  I feel worse now than I did then.  Another shitty birthday.  Another shitty year.  A quarter century down.  How much longer do I have?  Am I ever meant to be happy?  Am I ever meant to be truly loved again?  What did I do to deserve such a crappy hand?  It's times like this I'm sure God doesn't exist.  Or at least if he does exist, he's a hateful bastard.  What I'm feeling, as bad as it is, can't be close to what billions of others feel around this fucked up planet.  God sucks.  Fuck him.  Fuck me.  Fuck life.  Fuck happiness.  True happiness is a mirage for me.  I get closer and closer, get my hopes up that I've found meaning in my fucking worthless life, and when I think I've finally got it...It disappears. 

Yes, it was my drunk ass that spouted that great Shakesperesque subject line. 

Why did I say it? 
What was the context? 
Exactly how drunk was I?

For the answers to these questions and more, simply watch the following three videos.  They were shot on Dec. 31, 2007 & Jan. 1, 2008 at Pete's house and edited over the last week by Pete.  They are the only proof that anything happened that night, since our memory's did not survive.  Enjoy.

Part 1

Part 2


Part 3 (Pictures Slideshow)

Some of you already know, but for those of you who don't, I've been working on my creative writing recently. I'm currently in the middle of writting two wannabe movie scripts (one comedy/horror and the other a drama). I'm still kind of new to writing something other than an essay (I was an awesome essay writer in high school) so I'm grateful for any and all input I can get. My two scripts are, as of now, unfinished. Hopefully I will finish with at least one of them sometime this month, but for now I figured I would share with everybody the first piece of creative writing I actually finished.

A few months ago the band Senses Fail announced a contest they were holding, in which fans would write a treatment for a music video, and they would pick one of the entries to shoot. Seeing as though Senses Fail is one of my favorite bands, and I knew a music video treatment would be fairly quick and easy to write, I decided to give it a shot. I knew I wouldn't win, but I wasn't really doing it to win. So I set forth to write a video treatment for the song "The Priest and the Matador" off the band's latest release Still Searching. I was rather pleased with the result and, so far, those that have read it enjoyed it also.

Now I was going to post my treatment for "The Priest and the Matador" in this blog because I would like to get any input/creative criticism I can get, but I didn't want to take the time to reformat the whole thing. So instead, Here's a link to the PDF file. Do keep in mind though, that this was meant to be a music video, so it definitely helps to know the song. So I posted it below as well. Oh, and I named a few characters just for easy reference, they don't symbolize any specific person, except Buddy, who is the lead singer of Senses Fail. Enjoy...I hope.

Well I can't sleep (what else is new?), so I was trying to wile away the time by reading through some of my old blogs.  Actually, I only read through one of them:  "3 for 3 and with time to spare."  Damn a lot changes in 8 months.

In the afore mentioned blog, I wrote about how happy and satisfied I was with my life.  I had accomplished three major things (started a good job, bought a new car, and moved out) and I was thrilled.  Now I'm right back where I started at the beginning of 2006 (except that I still have a car).

1.  "Real" jobs just aren't for me.

Back in April, I started working with State Farm Insurance.  A boring, but decent paying full-time job.  The first full-time job I've ever had.  Sadly, after a few months, I realized that these kind of jobs simply aren't for me.  Society may view this kind of job as a sign of maturity, but I really don't give a shit anymore.  Sitting behind a desk for 8 hours a day, pushing paper and entering shit into a computer drove me absolutely fucking insane.  I need a job where I have ability to move around, and the freedom to work at my own pace.  I found that by returning to Blockbuster.  I started back at Blockbuster in September of '06 as a second job (I was living with Cindi at the time and we REALLY needed the money), but it wasn't until the middle of January that I started working there full-time.  My manager, Ashley, helped me out by hooking me up with a Co-Assistant manager position at the Cypress Gardens store.  It was the only way I could get 40 hours a week at a decent rate of pay.  While I'm still not absolutely thrilled with the job (as with any job there's a lot of bullshit involved) it's a lot better than the job I had at State Farm, so I feel I made the right decision.  I feel better having tried working at State Farm.  Now if people look down on me for working at Blockbuster, it doesn't bother me.  I tried the "real" job thing, and I was damn good at it.  My boss at State Farm didn't want me to quit.  I accomplished more in a couple of hours than a lot of the other people did all day.  I left the "real" job on my own free will.  As I said, I may not be jumping for joy over my job at Blockbuster, but I'm a hell of a lot happier there than I was at State Farm.

2.  Two splits in one day (is this America or what?).

As I'm sure most (if not all) of my friends are aware, I moved out of the apartment I was living in with Cindi, and back into my parents house back on October 1, 2006.  The split happened for several reasons, but mostly because we are just too different.  When I decided to make the move, I thought I would be moving back in with my parents and my younger siblings, but why would life be that easy on me?  As if it's not enough to go through a major break-up and move out at the same time, I also had to deal with my parents separating and help my mom move into her new place on the same fucking day!  My parents split had been coming for a while, things have been pretty tense with them the past few years, but I guess I never let myself prepare for it to go to this step.  My parents have been married for almost 30 years.  I was in shock for the next few weeks.  I felt bad because, although it hurt like hell, I wasn't able to really cry about either split.  I felt like a zombie, because for days all I did was go to work, and then go home.  I lost my sense of humor, I barely even broke a smile.  I didn't want to watch TV, or movies, or play a video game.  I just wanted to sleep.  I lost weight because I quit eating.  I was a wreck.  But then...

3.  Second verse, same as the first.

...I got back together with Cindi.  I was very leery when Cindi first asked me to give her a second chance.  I had a feeling that things wouldn't really change, and that we would just end up breaking up again, and that the second break-up would be harder than the first.  I decided to give the relationship a second chance though, feeling that I had invested too much into it not to.  For the first month we were back together, I tried not to move too fast.  I was purposely distancing myself from her so that when what I felt was the inevitable end came, it wouldn't hurt very much.  After that month though, I let my guard down.  And no sooner had I done so, I fell madly in love with her again.  Everything was great for a few months.  We had our disagreements like every couple does, and there were things she did that annoyed me, but I was really happy again.  Much the same as when we first started dating at the beginning of last year.  Slowly but surely though, everything started to fall apart for me.  I'm not entirely sure when I started distancing myself again, but I did.  The end finally came almost a month ago, and as I had predicted, it hurt ten times worse than the first break-up.  I wasn't even able to say the words the night I broke-up with her, I just walked away.  I don't regret giving our relationship a second chance.  Now, at least, I know I tried as hard as I could.  We also had some great times the second time around that I wouldn't trade for anything.  I'm going to miss Cindi and Cody (I got to be a father for a year and I want kids now more than ever).

Looking back on the past year, definately the most eventful of my 23, I realize that I am right back where I started, physically (except that I have a good car now).  I'm working at Blockbuster and I'm living at home with my dad.  Mentally however, I am almost an entirely different person.  I've learned a lot about my family.  I've learned a lot about relationships.  But more importantly, I've learned a lot about myself.  I have a much better picture of what I want to do with my life than I did before.  I achieved all of my goals last year, and they really turned out to be things that I didn't really want (except the car).  Therefore, I'm setting one goal for myself this year, and that is this:  I'm going to figure out exactly who I am, and what I want.  Before I achieve this goal, I can't really expect anything I do to pan out, because there's a really good chance it's not what I want.  I'm not going to force it, because then I might trick myself into thinking I want something that I don't.  I'm just going to sit back and let it come to me.

For those of you who read this, thank you for lending me your attention for a few minutes.  Now you may return to much more interesting things.

Movies are listed in the order they popped into my head.  I am aware that there are probably much better answers for some of these, I just thought of the one I used first (I was in a hurry).  As for "The List," I wasn't sure what went there, so I just named some movies I want to see that are in theaters now.

 

~*MOVIES*~
Top 5 Movies
1:	Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
2:	Sin City
3:	V for Vendetta
4:	Clerks
5:	American Psycho
Top 5 Actors
1:	Christian Bale
2:	Will Ferrell
3:	Edward Norton
4:	Vince Vaughn
5:	Kevin Spacey
Top 5 Actresses
1:	Scarlett Johansson
2:	Natalie Portman
3:	Kiera Knightly
4:	Most other actresses are either annoying
5:	or hit-or-miss.
Favorite
Horror Film:	George A. Romero's Dawn of the Dead
Comedy Film:	Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
Drama Film:	Brick (currently)
Action Film:	Batman Begin
Romance Film:	Love Actually
Thriller Film:	The Usual Suspects
Animated Film:	South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Sci-Fi Film:	Equilibrium
Other
Most confusing movie?:	The samurai movie I watched with Brandon
Movie that never gets old?:	Sin City
Movie with the best music?:	Underworld: Evolution (best soundtrack anyway)
Movie that you hated?:	Ultraviolet
Movie you fell asleep during?:	Capote
Movie you know every word to?:	Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
How often do you go to the theatre?:	Not as often as I'd like to
How often do you watch movies?:	A lot
Favorite movie genre?:	Can't pick one
Movie you've seen more times than any other movie?:	Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
Movie that scares you?:	A.I. (it's a long story, but that fucking bear gave me nightmares)
Movie that makes you cry?:	Ladder 49
What's the last movie you saw?:	Firewall (piece of shit)
Favorite movie quote?:	"I'm going to punch you in the ovaries...straight shot to the baby maker."
Sexiest actor?:	I'm just going to leave this one blank
Sexiest actress?:	Scarlett Johansson (sorry babe)
Funniest actor/actress?:	Will Ferrell
What's your favorite childhood movie?:	Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
Saw 1 or Saw 2?:	Both were good
Fantastic 4 or Spiderman?:	Spider-man
Dawn Of The Dead or The Hills Have Eyes?:	Dawn of the Dead (original)
Big Daddy or Mr. Deeds?:	Big Daddy
Shawshank Redemption or Green Mile?:	Shawshank Redemption
Favorite movie scene?:	The squid-eating scene from Oldboy
Favorite:	????
Favorite movie based on a book?:	Fight Club (movie was actually better than the book)
widescreen or fullscreen?:	Widescreen
favorite movie vehicle?:	The original Batmobile
Last movie you bought?:	Night Watch
5 Movie That You Hate
1:	Anything with dancing...
2:	Anything that stars rappers...
3:	Anything with Jennifer Lopez...
4:	Fast and the Furious
5:	Cursed
"The List"
1:	The Black Dahlia
2:	X-men 3
3:	Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
4:	Pirates of the Carribean 2: Dead Man's Chest
5:	Lady in the Water
5 Movies You Wish You Wouldn't Of Wasted Your Money On
1:	Going Overboard
2:	Hellboy
3:	Dumb and Dumberer
4:	Mr. Deeds
5:	Repli-Kate
Take this survey | Find more surveys You've been totally Bzoink*d

Back in January I was in bad shape.  I turned 22, but I still lived at home with my parents.  In addition to that, I was without a car (read blog titled "THIS FUCKING SUCKS!").  I also was back in a shitty part-time job at Publix.  At this time, I hated my life.  I made a few goals for myself to achieve by the end of the year.  Three things that I needed to do to "grow up."  As of now, all three goals have be achieved.

Goal 1: Get a REAL job.

I was sick of the part-time bullshit.  In the past, I have worked three jobs.  One in a grocery store as a stock clerk/cashier, one in a movie theater as an usher/projectionist, and another in Blockbuster as a Customer Service Representative.  Other than the projectionist gig, these jobs suck.  They're great for teenagers or people who don't really need the money and just want an easy, low expectations, low responsibilty type job to pass the time, but horrible for anybody who wants move on in life.  You don't get paid much, you have to deal with ass-hole managers (most of them anyway), as well as bitchy customers.  I was tired of that shit.  I decided I was going to get a REAL job.  One with regular full-time hours, good pay, benefits, and opportunity for advancement.  I achieved this goal on April 24 when I started my job at State Farm.  It's not the most interesting job (in fact its quite boring) but it pays much better than those shitty part-time jobs, and I don't have to deal with customers as much.  All-in-all a good gig that I'm extremely happy to have.

Goal 2: Get a GOOD car.

My old car, as many of my friends like to point out regularly, in a word, sucked.  It cosmetically it was okay, although boring looking, but it ran like shit.  Not a week went by when it didn't make some new noise, or something broke.  The AC worked...when it wanted to, and after my cd player was stolen because an old friend decided to leave the door unlocked, my new cd player just sort of hung there in a gaping hole in the dash.  All I could think of while driving this moving pile of shit was, "At least the doors match the rest of the car."  This goal required completion of goal 1, so after I got the job at State Farm, I went to Bartow Ford to talk to a guy Brandon hooked me up with.  He helped me out a lot in getting the car.  It's not my dream car, but surprisingly, it's new.  I was hoping for a good pre-owned set of wheels, but I ended up getting a brand new Focus for about the same amount I was looking to pay.  Because it's new, I shouldn't have to worry about it being like my old car, at least for a while.  So, two down.

Goal 3: Move the FUCK out of my parents house.

Anybody who's talked to me for more than a few minutes knows how much I hated living with my parents.  I love my family, but they annoy the shit out of me.  In that house, I had to put up with not only my Mom and Dad (mostly my Mom, I didn't have many problems with my Dad), but also my younger brothers and sister, of which I had four.  And usually, my 4 year old niece who was over more often than not.  I've spent most of the last 7 years in my bedroom with the door locked.  I actually developed a habit of sleeping well into the afternoon (sometimes as late as 5 or 6), and staying awake well into the morning (going to bed around 7 or 8 in the morning) just to avoid being around my brothers and sisters.  I wanted freedom to walk around the place that I live and not have to deal with annoying questions about movies, or having to play baseball trivia, or having a multitude of cheap, unimpressive crap shoved in my face as part of an around-the-house show-and-tell.  This goal required completion of the first two goals (I can't move out until I have a job that can pay the rent and a vehicle to get me around town).  As of the end of April, I accomplished this goal.  I moved in with my girlfriend Cindi, but since the landlord at that complex is an ignorant bitch we had to move again shortly after.  A week ago, on May 20, we moved into a new apartment.  To be completely honest, I was looking to wait a bit longer before I moved out.  I have several debts to pay off, and I wanted to not only get straight with those, but also save up a bit of cash for emergencies before I put myself in a situation to have to pay bills.  I ended up moving out sooner in an effort to help Cindi out.  She was about to be evicted because she didn't make enough money to pay the rent, and then she was laid-off of her job.  I couldn't let her get thrown out, so I did what I needed to to help.  Things are going to be really tough financially for a while, but I have no regrets.

My ultimate plan was to complete these three goals by the end of the year, but seeing as though I did all three in under six months, I have decided to make three new goals to be completed within the next six months.

1.  Pay off all the outstanding debts that I have
2.  Work hard and try to improve my position/pay at State Farm and...
3.  This one is actually a secret, but those of you who know me will know if/when it happens.

Anyway, thats all for now.  I've had a pretty hectic and interesting last couple of months, but as I said before, I have no regrets.  I now love my life instead of hating it, and my attitude has changed from being insanely pessimistic to only somewhat pessimistic.

Here are the rules...

The first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 4 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comments and tell them to read yours.

6 Weird Things/habits about me...

1.) I'm an extremely picky eater.  I'll order the same dish every time I go to a restaurant.

2.) I usually have to eat something (either a meal or a large snack) right before I go to bed, or else I won't be able to sleep.

3.) I turn OCD and wash my hands constantly when I'm cooking.

4.) I can't use any kind of dish straight out of the cabinet/dishwasher.  I have to rinse it first.

5.) Ever since working as a projectionist at a movie theatre, I get very annoyed by the smallest things when I go see a movie (i.e. scratches that no one else sees, shaky changeovers, even the trailoring format)

6.) I can't type in shorthand (i.e. lol, ttyl, lmao).

 I TAGGED Pete, because he's the only one I think might do it.