I wonder why people act so differently all of the time it is as if they lack the courage to truly be themselves and to trust people to care for them for who they truly are it is so rare that you trust a person enough to let them peek into your soul and then to feel the true rejection of someone who says they care but do everything to contradict their words. Actions are a stinging consequence to peoples true feelings which annoys me that people can’t just be true to themselves and go for what they want no matter of anyone else in all of the bullshit of society. Even in the simplicity of a friendship things get entirely to complicated in the sense of there are still feelings there that you feel shouldn’t be you shouldn’t feel because you are not ready but then again who knows when anyone will be ready when you will be when I will be or if it even matters if the person was never the right one for you and if you will just never be ready until you find the right person the one that makes you forget everything in a single laugh but even then you may not be ready just ready enough to be happy I don’t know what else to say but if you want to be my friend actually be my friend if I am boring fine tell me but damn let me know something.

Btw sorry for the rambling. 

I am in a dark depressing state from which no one can reach me for I can reach no one. You won't often find me in this grave like manner that has cursed me for however long I have been alone or upset. Just remember it and remember it well for it doesn't come often. My enemies remember this as a moment of triumph and savor it for you shall not see it again. My friends remeber this as the time I once lost control which if you know me I don't stray far from what I know and can control but fret not for I shall regain my balance of things and pull myself out of this mess I have caused myself by being careless and weak but I will soon be me again whatever the price. I will not envelope myself in this shadow of darkness to shrivel up and die for a Lion's Heart I obtain!!!