I'm about 3-6 weeks away from having my first child.  A baby boy that we'll be naming Isaac.  Can't wait to meet him!

Haven't written words here in a while but so much has been happening in my life.  The last few months have not been without their difficulties and there have been times where I have just felt like laying down for good and finding a nice place to disappear to altogther but what is life without it's hurdles and heartbreaks. 

Things are finally starting to get better.  I love my boyfriend with all my heart and it feels like we're finally finding our way together after a bit of a bumpy road.  We're having a baby in September which I'm overjoyed about and can't wait to meet the little person who has been growing inside of me these past five months, albeit making me sick for more than half of that time but nothing will ever be more worth the hard times.

Just got back a day ago from a visit back in Minnesota and feel rejuvinated and excited for the future.  I did a lot of soul searching and came to the realization that while people can make you incredibly happy,  our own happiness comes from within and we cannot and should not rely on others to make us happy.  It's not profound but it is to me.  We are all selfish people at our core in the sense that we want ourselves to be ok, to be happy.  I'm going to be happy and I'm going to try and make other people happy at the same time.  It's time to start loving life again and LIVING not just existing.

In my previous blogs, I've posted about my upcoming move to Louisiana...So lately I've been out in my freezing garage here on the farm going through boxes of my things from moves past.  There's something about opening an old box packed with treasures from years gone by that as exciting as Christmas morning.  So as I was locating things for my move I cam across a small tin with an egyptian theme to it and I was filled with glee to remember the treasures inside.  Three Casette tapes, tucked away for safe keeping.  One was the tape that Mark De Gli Antoni from Soul Coughing gave me yeears ago with the sample of the answering machine message from Janine...A prized posession!  The other was the tape from the last hour of Rev 105 and the third and final is possibly one of the greatest gifts I was ever given.  A duped copy of Miles Davis 'Bitches Brew'.  I remember going home that night, starting a bath and listening to the tape over and over again.  It was a magical experience like a first kiss.  So tonight I'm starting a bath and plugging in the old cassette player and revisiting a life-changing record.  Lovely!

In just 12 days, I'll be heading south to Louisiana to live with Richie again.  We haven't seen each other in over two months and I'm bubbling with excitement!  It's amazing when you meet somone so special that changes your world in such in incredible way.  If there is one thing I have learned in life through all the years and good times and bad, is that it's not about where you end up, it's about the journey and about heart.  No matter where life leads us, as long as we remember the journey and follow our hearts, everything comes out good in the end.  My heart isn't complete without the man I love so I'm moving to mend it and start a new chapter.  I have never beenmore excited about my future!    And I have a slight case of the nerves because Richie has three beautiful children with his ex, Verna who is a lovely woman and has been a good friend to me.  I'm praying that the kids like me becasue I think they are just great!   I can't wait to get on the road and see my Richie again and give him the biggest, sweetest kiss he's ever had.                                                                     

In three weeks I'll be packing up a moving truck and heading south.  It's amazing sometimes when you think of all of the steps you've taken in your life and where they eventually lead you.  Love moves us.  Literally and figuratively we follow our hearts and mine is taking me to Louisiana to be with the man that I love.   Louisiana here I come!!

I couldn't be happier!  I'm moving to Louisiana for the best Christmas gift ever,  To be with the man that I love and miss so much.  This has been the longest month ever and I can't wait to see my baby and his babies!   Merry Christmas Mandy!  Merry Christmas Richie!

  The greatest thing happened this summer.  I met the love of my life.  He danced with me in a bar one warm night in August and sang country songs in my ear and that night sealed our fate.   There were few things about our love that have been easy but one thing I have never been more sure about,  I love this man. 

I'm moving to Louisiana in January to be with him and every day that grows closer, my smiles grow bigger and everything seems sweeter.  I can't wait to see him just to his eyes when he smiles.  Just thinking about it now makes me so happy!   See you soon darling Richie!