i don't believe in heaven or hell, but i do believe in life after death.
i believe in reincarnation, or some version of it.  maybe just that spirits live on.
the thing is, i have to.
i can't live life thinking that this is it.  that when i die, i'm gone.
poof.
just like that.
or, when people i love die, people that shouldn't die do die, it kills me to think that they're just plain gone.
they're still out there.  they have to be.
 
on another note,

be careful who you cut ties with.
it might come back to bite you in the ass when you need help the most.
but really, fuck me, because i don't cut ties easily.
therefore, you might get lucky, even if you don't deserve it.
 
i need to write a song, clear my head.

so i am finally going into the recording studio tonight at 6:00 to record one of the songs i wrote on my twelve-string.  :D  this should be awesome!

i haven't decided what i'm going to do with it yet, if i want to make a music myspace or anything.  we'll see.

=)

i guess you should've had your next girlfriend all lined up before you broke up with her.
maybe then you wouldn't be so sex-starved.

oh wait.  maybe you thought you did have someone lined up.
maybe you thought you had me lined up. 
well, sorry to disappoint.

now leave me the hell alone, babe.

there are too many questions.

and there are too many answers.

and there is no test to take with a matching section,
and there is no answer key.

there are just questions, and answers, and a fading glimmer of hope that i'll get 100%.  A+.

let's take a stab in the dark, shall we?  and hope we don't come into the light holding our guts and lungs and hearts in our hands.

remember the way you looked at me the first time we were together?

remember the way you lightly bounced on the balls of your feet?

remember what it felt like to be comfortable in each other's presence?

you don't, and i'm done holding out hope that you do...
but I DO.  i remember. 
and i can't help but wish that counted for something.  anything at all.

give it a few weeks of living in this new-found change and you'll become overly nostalgic, remembering a time you don't want to remember and feeling lonely despite all the progress you've made in the past month.

i'm done, and i'll keep saying it until it actually means something.