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~♥ BABYGIRL♥~



Last Updated: 12/15/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 30
Sign: Aquarius

City: Vancouver
State: Washington
Country: US
Signup Date: 8/28/2005

Blog Archive
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Thursday, November 13, 2008 

Current mood:  lonely
well here is one more... I was up contemplating my life right now and that is why I am posting these blogs... I really need to know that I have people behind me so please let me know what you think and let me know how to cope!


Never!

Never say I love you,
if you really don't care.
Never talk about feelings,
if they aren't really there.

Never hold my hand,
if you are going to break my heart.
Never say you're going to,
if you don't plan to start.

Never look into my eyes,
if all you do is lie.
Never say hello,
if all you mean is goodbye.

If you really mean forever,
then say you will try.
Never say forever,
cause forever makes me cry!



well now that the alcohol is kicking in I feel like I need to get some sleep... it is pretty late..I hope that you all like my poems... they come straight from the heart and mean a lot to me....and since you all mean a lot to me I thought I would share them with you!! I love all my friends!
Currently listening:
If I Were a Boy
Release date: 2008-11-18
7:52 PM 
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Thursday, November 13, 2008 

Current mood:  lonely
Category: Romance and Relationships
Its over but I love you!

I will love you always,
till the end of time it's true.
As the memory of us stays,
My days will never be blue.

Your cute little smile,
and your sweet and sexy laugh.
Hopefully it won't be a while,
before you're my other half.

I think about you all the time,
in the morning and at night.
Hopefully soon you will be mine,
basically you are my light.

I think you're really funny,
and I think you're really sweet.
My days were really sunny,
the day you and I did meet.

Now I finally realize,
the idea of us is through.
When I see you through my eyes,
I really wish it wasn't true!
Currently listening:
Right Now (Na Na Na)
By Akon
Release date: 2008-11-11
7:41 PM 
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Monday, January 07, 2008 

Current mood:  disappointed
ok so here it is...... this is kinda how I am feeling right about now..... but I am not going to worry about trying to make someone else happy, I am going to do things for me and make me happy...... I feel that 2008 is going to be a good year, god knows I deserve it after all that has happened in the last couple years.....sure I have done some things that I am not proud of, but then again who hasn't...all I can do is move forward.... I guess whoever wants to be a part of my life will realize now is the opportunity, if not then sorry about your luck... I left a dead end job for one that is going to get me where I need to be.... so I have my work situation taken care of and hopefully that will take care of my financial situation...... that is as long as I don't accrue any more hospital bills... now what is left to work on is my friend list, some people call me their friend and yet they never talk to me, or they talk crap... that stops now.... as for boyfriend status, I don't need one to make me happy, if no one wants to be there - oh well......as for family status, well mine is ok..... I really miss my mom but hopefully soon enough I will get to go down and visit....well thanks for listening to me vent and if you think you can help me out with any of this then feel free to try!!


11:22 AM 
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Saturday, May 05, 2007 
I am sick and tired of everything,
I am tired of it all,
always trying to prove something,
but never good enough at all.

At times I don't feel pretty enough,
or even cool or special,
even tho I know its not true
I don't know what else to do.

I want to be loved,
for who I am inside.
I want to give my all,
and get off this lonely ride.

everytime I think its time,
something always happens.
which always makes me feel bad,
and break me down inside.

I am sick and tired of everything,
I am tired of it all,
but mostly what I'm tired of,
is being sick and tired!
8:12 PM 
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Saturday, May 05, 2007 
ok so I could use some advise from my friends..... so if you really like someone and you don't know how they feel or if they even care, how do you go about finding out.... maybe it is just because I am or was too scared to say anything to that person because I didn't know how they felt and I was scared that It was going to scare them away if I was that straight forward... and why is it that you feel a connection and realize you like someone, but they dont seem to feel the same way... which happens too often than not...... I can't tell my heart what to feel or not to feel.... I just wish that things would work out better!!! sorry I know that this is kinda deep but I am up and this has been on my mind a lot lately! people have told me not to go looking for love and then it would find me..... so I haven't been I still keep getting hurt and that is why I have been keeping people at a distance when I first meet them, cuz my heart is fragile and I want to know that they are not going to break my ? and then sweep it up and toss it out the window.....

so I think that walmart is bad luck for me... I am always worn out especially mentally when I get home.... I am not making enough to even cover my bills, let alone afford anything....so I go to my friends walmart tonight to meet up with her and while we are inside, not just one but 2 carts slammed into my car... hard enough to set of my alarm and chip the paint on my back bumper... I think I need to find something new.......

I really wish the rain would go away!!!! I want some nice sunny days on my days off!!! I love the sun....

Oh yea and the gas prices are rediculous!!! I remember when the price of gas used to be $1.39 a gallon..... those were the days! kinda makes you wish you could turn back time....

well now that I got that off my mind I am actually getting pretty tired! ? ya to pieces!!
12:20 AM 
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Saturday, February 24, 2007 

Current mood:  sad
Ok so here it goes, can someone please tell me why I keep getting screwed.... first it is guys using, abusing, and treating me like shit when I give my all..... then I get screwed over at work, after I have bent over backwards to get things done, have only missed 2 days in almost 2 years..... I just don't know why this is happening!!! The tears just wont stop!
7:56 AM 
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Monday, February 19, 2007 

Current mood:  flirty
Could It Be Fate?

I felt my heart was broken in two,
until the day that I met you.
I thought I wouldn't love again,
but then I realized it wasn't the end.

I saw you and thought how happy i'd be,
if there was something between you and me.
I was scared to think there wasn't a chance,
it made my heart race and dance.

I've wanted to say hi for a very long time,
but never felt able to all those times.
Then I saw your sexy smile,
and it made me happy for quite a while.

I really wish I wasn't so shy,
it's all because my defenses are high.
I've been hurt too many times in the past,
I would love no more than to be happy at last.

I am going to try to talk to you,
even if it takes everything I have to do.
Knowing how happy I would be,
if something were to happen with you and me!

 by Lisa   
9:04 AM 
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Thursday, February 08, 2007 

Current mood:  disappointed
I don't understand why when I have given someone so much, that they end up hurting me! It makes me not ever want to give ever again!! I believe that saying broken hearts are caused by unspoken words is completely true!!! I do love him but I can't sit here and take being hurt anymore!...... Christmas was not what I thought it was going to be, my birthday sucked, and now because of this my valentines day is going to suck again!!!! I was kinda hoping that my days were going to brighten up.... happy 2007 not!
I am really feeling like the time that I did the really long blog but I wasn't going to post the same thing.... I love my friends a lot, well at least the ones that are there for me! what is soooo wrong with me? can someone let me know?

7:18 AM 
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Monday, June 26, 2006 

Current mood:  pissed off
can anyone explain to me why the ones we love the most, hurt us the worst....that saying is completely true and I can't figure out why it is sooo true.... you would think that if someone loved you soo much that they would do anything not to hurt you....

women are not mind readers so why do guys tend to think that we are?... or at least I have not mastered that trait yet... Is it something that you are born with or is it learned....

why is the murphy's law thing true too? why is it that when you are having a bad day, things just get worse and not better.... today I hit my hand on a pole and hurt my finger.....

why does it have to be soooo freakiing hot??? I am actually really tired but it is sooo hot that I don't feel that I can go to sleep....



well enought rambling on.... I hope all my friends and my 1 have a good night! I am going to try to get some sleep now!!!!
 
9:09 AM 
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Thursday, May 25, 2006 

Current mood:  stressed
As I sit here really sad,I wonder what i did so bad
these feelings i have inside me,are really starting to make me worry!
it hurts soooo bad.. i just want the pain to go away...

people say things will get better but have you noticed that when someone is not doing well that just seems to be the easiest thing to say... can i get a little encouragement please!!!

I don't know how much more I can take... tear tear.... yes those are actuall tears, if it is not family, its work... if it is not work, its friends.... if it is not friends, its health... if it is not health, it is bills.... if it is not bills, it is love or relationships....

I feel like just giving up sometimes and not making an effort to care... I feel that if other people don't care why should I.... I am tired of it all... I put so much effort into every area of my life and for what..

all i want is to be happy... I want to know that i have people in my life that truly care about me and that would walk the ends of the earth for me, I give my all and I just wish that I could get that in return...

even though i have plenty of nice material possessions, I am still not happy, I feel as if something and/or someone is missing...  but there is not a whole lot that i can do about that...

I swear sometimes  I feel like I have a sign on me that says use and abuse me.... I know I don't so why has it happened all my life... I am a very caring person and that seems to be a disadvantage for me...

I really hate being soo stressed.... I wonder how long I will have to wait for something good to happen or for someone good to walk into my life and not just walk right back out and abandon me...


just thought everyone should know! Got any advise?
4:22 PM 
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