Ok so Im back again. Yes Reuben im back if you are reading. Whatever... Anyways.. I can't sleep. My mom didn't move the bed over to her new apt yet so me and Hailey had to try and squish in a chair with a footstool. That was very uncomfortable. My neck hurts now. Aside from that its nice that I was able to get away from dad's again. I was starting to feel suffocated. I hope I can get my licence tomorrow. Unfortunately I can't call them till tomorrow which means I might not get in tomorrow which sucks. You know what also sucks? My dad dropped my laptop when the charger was plugged in and broke the charger. Fuckin pissed me off. So as of now I can't charge my laptop and the battery is dead. Ok also I want someone to read the next two emails I am going to post and see if this is right...
This part is from me to my dad:
yes i have already figured out what i want for christmas next year or sooner. I will earn it. I would still like that hp pavillion tx2510us... I've been wanting that one for a long time. Tara just got one too. I know that you just got me that cute little one. But I mean it doesn't hold much and pretty much that means I still have to lug around that other hard drive. That hp that I originally wanted has enough space on it. Its at least 250gb. All I have been doing since i heard that she got that was having a little bit of a mood swing. I'm sitting her trying not to cry as I type this. I mean for once couldn't you get me one thing that I originally wanted for christmas? One thing?? I mean when it came to the Archos you had to step down to the one that didn't do as much. I still can't play half my movies on it because I don't have the cinema plugin. The one i wanted orginally was a touchscreen that had wireless net on it and bigger hard drive and i could also install games on it. However that didn't happen just because it was $100 more than what you had wanted to spend on it. It feels like you like to just do this to make me feel bad. Like I see how my friends get all this stuff for christmas and stuff and they have brothers and sister that do too. I'm an only child.. I know that Hailey needs stuff for christmas too, but she's a child. Toys don't really cost that much sometimes. Not the ones that you or I usually get her anyways. I just don't understand why just once I couldn't get 1 exact thing that I would like for christmas. It depresses me when you always go a step or 2 or 3 or whatever under what i would like. Like the computer.. That tx2510us is the one that I wanted for last christmas and you had to go a few steps under that just cuz it was cheaper and now either you or Hailey broke the charger so I can't even use it. The battery is dead to the point to where it won't even turn on. So once again I am on your computer doing this. I wish I would have been able to get the other computer so that I could write cds and dvds too. Like I said the desktop in my bedroom is so screwed up right now. I can't even get the cd trays to open. I had that problem for a while. Thats why I was wishing that I could have just gotten that laptop that has the drive. I mean its not like I was asking for something that was gonna cost like $10,000. It was only $800-900. Thats what Tara paid for hers. Hell and on top of that I thought that I could have at least gotten the bluetooth on the mini but you didn't put it on there so I had to go out and buy that bluetooth thing which takes up one of the usb ports which is another one of the reasons that i needed that usb hub. I just don't get it. The hard drives are around 100 a peice... the bluetooth was around 30. the computer i wanted originally has touchscreen, has all of the listed:
Manufacturer #
FE912UA#ABA
processor brand
AMD
processor model
Turion X2 Ultra Dual-Core
processor speed
2.1 GHz
hard drive capacity
250 GB
memory
3 GB
memory type
DDR2 SDRAM
maximum memory capacity
4 GB
Wi-Fi capability included (Wi-Fi ready)
yes
included integrated drives
DVD±RW/DVD-RAM/DVD+R Double Layer
diagonal screen size
12.1 inches
notebook computer weight
4.56 lb
operating system
Windows Vista Home Premium with Service Pack 1
screen resolution
1280 x 800
number of USB 2.0 ports
3
number of USB 1.1 ports
0
modem standard
56K V.90
audio hardware
Altec Lansing
frontside bus speed
4400 MT/s
integrated speaker
yes
integrated memory card reader
yes
number of VGA video ports
1
video hardware
ATI Radeon HD 3200 Graphics RS780M
video memory
64MB sideport; 1470MB total available
thickness
1.52 inches
width
12.05 inches
depth
8.82 inches
Ethernet port
yes
number of parallel ports
0
number of PS/2 ports
0
number of S-video outputs
1
number of serial ports
0
infrared port
yes
computer battery type
lithium-ion
number of FireWire ports
0
Energy Star qualified
yes
warranty length
1-year limited
processor
AMD Turion X2 Ultra ZM-80
model name
Pavilion tx2510us
brand name
HP
manufacturer
Hewlett-Packard
THE MINI HAS:
Operating system
The main control program of your system. See Productivity Software category for Office applications.
Genuine Windows XP Home with Service Pack 3
--------------------
Processor
A faster processor supports more efficient operations and applications performance
Intel(R) Atom(TM) Processor N270 (1.60GHz)
--------------------
Memory
Use more programs at once and make them run faster with more memory
1GB DDR2 System Memory (1 Dimm)
--------------------
Hard drive
Store your applications, data, digital music and digital photos on your hard disk drive
60GB 4200RPM PATA Hard Drive
--------------------
Graphics card
Bring your favorite applications and games to life
Intel(R) Graphics Media Accelerator 950
--------------------
Display
The window to applications, the Internet and more
10.1" diagonal SD LED BrightView Infinity Widescreen Display (1024 x 576)
--------------------
--------------------
Networking
PC includes a network port for broadband Internet connectivity. Internet access sold separately
Wireless-G Card
--------------------
--------------------
Primary battery
The right battery can keep you and your Notebook PC working longer
Choices:
3 Cell Lithium Polymer Battery
--------------------
--------------------
Usage
Home
Type
Capture the Power of the Net with Style
Memory card reader
2-in-1 integrated Digital Media Reader
Accessible memory slots
1
Maximum Memory Expansion
1GB
Ports
2 USB Ports
Additional Ports
N/A
Hard Drive Protection
N/A
Audio
Built-in Stereo speakers
ENERGY STAR Qualified
EPEAT Silver
Adapter
30W AC
DIMENSIONS
10.3 in (L) x 6.56 in (W) x 0.99 in (H)
Network Card
Integrated 10/100BASE-T Ethernet LAN (RJ-45 connector)
PC Card Slot
N/A
Webcam
HP Mini Webcam
Security SW
N/A
Weight
2.25 lbs
Productivity Software
Microsoft(R) Works 9.0
Multimedia and Entertainment
N/A
Warranty
1-year limited hardware support
Support
1-year limited software, 1-year limited hardware support
I just don't get it.. the tx2520us has over twice the memory and twice the features. Yes it cost twice as much but its more than twice as better. Sometimes spending more than you want gives you better things... I guess the reason I wanted the Mini is because that is the only one that you would let me get. I do like it, but I just wish that I had gotten the other one more. I could have used it more. And like I said I can't even use the Mini now. I mean I have only been asking you for 1 thing for christmas+birthday a year. Yes this yr i asked to go out to eat for my birthday which shouldn't have been a big deal, but that hasn't even happened yet and its already Febuary. I'm trying to do the best I can, but with out hardly any resources up here I can't do much. I want to be up here, but I need more resources. I would have had a $12/hr job a couple of yrs ago had I had the transportation. But I don't and I keep asking for driving experince but I rarely get it. I would like to get my licence too. I just feel trapped. My life is going no where. Hell Tara is only 22 or 23 and is doing really good for herself. Why can't you take the time to help me do better? I just want to be able to be where she is. She's not doing the best, but is way from the worst. I can't even get into a doctor to get this skin issue taken care of. Do you know how embarassing that is? I can't wear shorts in the summer because of it. It does irratate me. It iches a lot of the time and it bleeds sometimes too. Do you see where I am comming from? Please think about this. I just want you to understand and to know where I am comming from. Would you like to be in my position?? I love you dad. I just wanted you to know and to please think about this. Please please please....
Ok and this part is from him:
There is only a limited amount of money to be spent on Christmas gifts—right around $900 to $1,000. This is for everyone & everything—gifts for you, Hailey, your mom, and grandma & grandpa.
Giving, especially at Chrtistmastime, comes from a grateful heart. That you get anything at all on this holiday of giving is of far greater importance than what you get. You got the $195 reconditioned Archos that you did for financial reasons and no other—you asked for something that was outside of my budget ($350 60 gig IPOD). I could have just blown you off completely but did not. Based upon your comments below, it would appear that unless I am capable of delivering precisely what you ask for, I shouldn’t even bother, because ultimately you will end up grumbling and complaining about it later on. You should be thankful for whatever it is that you get.
Regarding the new computer…..I am sorry that I caused the breakage in the power cord and have corrected the situation.
I was very reluctant to purchase a laptop for you for a number of reasons. I told you in January 2005 when I delivered your current desktop to you that it would be the final computer that I bought for you. This was in the days of your outrageous cell phone bills—that ran, as you should recall, an average of $300 per month for just you. (Remember the $800 phone bill?) You should be thankful that I changed my mind on this one. I actually felt pretty good that we were able to get you something better than the $299 stripped down model at Target. Financially, I didn’t have the $500 cash to pay for the purchase of this machine so I put it on the credit card. I thought that you would be pleased with this. Apparently I was wrong. Your continuous expressions of dissatisfaction with my gifts to you will ultimately lead to, I guess: no more gifts.
I remember asking my parents for a camera (when I was 14 or 15). Three Christmases in a row & birthdays in between I asked for this cheap $10 camera. I never asked & they never explained why. Finally I just went out & bought the damned thing myself.
To be honest, other factors have, in the past, figured into my selection of gifts for you—your unwillingness to be more helpful during the year with the cleaning, dishes, cleaning up the bathroom after Hailey’s baths, etc. all figure into my decision making.
You need to be thankful for what you have—regardless of how little that is. Things could always be a whole lot worse. I would think that you’d be at least a little more grateful that your $125-$175 monthly phone bill is paid, that you have food to eat, and a roof over your head, and that someone supplies you with cash & cigarettes.
None of this has anything to do with love—it has to do with growing up. My hope is that you continue to make efforts to become self-sufficient (the CNA training was a step in that direction). I will assist to the extent that I can (which in some cases may not be a whole lot). My concerns lately have been, as we discussed last night, Hailey’s readiness for school. Between now and September you’ve got to figure out where you’re going to enroll her in school. If you have medical needs you need to do something about it.
Gotta go….Its taken almost 3 hours to write this & I wanna go home…Love, Dad
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Ok so maybe in some of it he is right, but do you see where I am comming from? For once in my life I would like someone to give me something that's not really expensive, but not cheap either. Hell if Reuben would have just done right and paid off his court shit and taken care of that in the first fuckin place I probably could have gotten the money from his ass. Hell he still owes me around 1300 from all the unlisted shit I did for him. He promised he was gonna pay me back. But then again his promises are shit. He also promised me that he wouldn't ever hit me again after he got out of prison... yeah that really lasted long... he got out of prison in Jan 07 and was back to hitting me by Feb 07. I should have called the cops and say that it was assaulted robbery.... he just pisses me off and so does a lot of things and people. I don't know. Im just getting tired of a lot of things and being emotionally screwed up isn't helping. I need a change cuz this shit is getting so old... but yeah people. Im gonna go for now....
Reicheru