I hung out with a friend of mine that I'd hadn't hung out with for a while tonight. She has been seeing this guy for a while. We had started to see two different guys at the same time.Well her guy was awesome and they hit it off really well. Me on the other hand had just come out of a 13 year relationship and I was a totall greenhorn. My guy was narcissistic, childish, and without consious. Her man from what I could see was caring and perfect. My relationship didn't last long with my wishful thinking boyfriend and we broke up about 3 months into the relationship.

    I became really jealous over my friends relationship. The main reason being that they had started at the same time. the longer that she was happy and me alone the more I felt like I had been cheated. It sounds selfish, and it is, but that is the way I am. I would get drunk and ask her why she was so happy and I was stuck in stupid. She always replied that she had gone through a lot of shit to get to the one she was with now.

    Well I saw my friend tonight and she and her boyfriend had broken up. I mean REALLY broken up.  Come to find out that what I had thought was a perfect relationship was nothing like that. They had nasty fights, even to the point of him putting his hands on her. Finally she got tired of it and left him. Here I was jealous over this sham of an relationship.

    It really goes to show you. The grass really is greener on the other side of the fence. Here I was thinking that everyone was happy except me. That there was something wrong with me because my relationships didn't work but everyone else's was peachy. In reality I have discovered that not only are the pieces of shit that I have gone out with no different than the pieces of shit my friends date but that apperently I have a grand amount of self esteem. Who would have thought? I refuse to be with someone who is manipulative or controlling. Therefore I end up alone more often than my friends.

    In my 32 years of journey I have finally found someone who loves me for me, doesn't try to tell me how to be, is understanding, and full of self confidence. I am happy and he is happy. Together I'm sure that we will make the world jealous. But fuck I DESERVE it.

 

My heart has been stolen, broken, abandoned, and crushed all in the last year.  I thought that it was never gonna heal. I hated myself for allowing it to happen, so whenever I meet someone I was always so stand offish. I didn't want to have it broken again so I surrounded myself with men that would never be able to turn my heart. Just randomly dating never being serious. I ended up up hurting a couple of guys by doing this.
One night after going out on one of these pointless dates with a pointless guy. I stayed at the Station to hang out with on of my girlfriends. (dearly not queerly) By this time I was having a great time and slamming shots. Man I was Cooter Brown  I looked over the table and there he was Willbert Stanton Beaston III. Got to be one of the cutest men I have ever seen.  Ussually I get pretty shy around men who
 turn my head so much, but as we allready know I was pretty pissed. I smiled at him and said hi, he said hi back and asked me if I wanted a shot. The rest is history.We have been inseperable ever since. There goes my heart. I feel like I don't care if he breaks it cause it has been so much fun just being with him. No more worry for me I trust him not to hurt me, and I would never intentionally hurt him.