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K. Rae



Dernière mise à jour : 17/11/2009

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Sexe : Female
Statut : En couple
Age : 25
Zodiaque: Bélier

Ville : Anaheim
Région : California
Pays: US
Date d’inscription :: 8/11/2003

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vendredi, juin 26, 2009 

Humeur actuelle :Heartbroken
I miss Timothy.

I think I made a mistake.

My heart is broken.

It's my fault.

Why do I always convince myself that the grass is greener?

I made my bed, I guess I have to sleep in it.

I miss my Timothy.


vendredi, juin 05, 2009 

Humeur actuelle :heartbroken
I'm moving soon.  In about 8 days, I'll be on my way to Carson City.  It's weird... I really thought my last two weeks would be bomb.  I'd be able to see all my friends, spend time at the beach, and get a whole bunch of "one lasts" in.  That's so not the case.  I'm depressed and anti social.  I want to stay inside and be alone with Timothy.  I seriously have to push myself to try to spend time with other people.  Don't get me wrong, I love my friends dearly... I guess I'm just starting the mourning process a little earlier than expected.

This is a strange feeling.

My heart is breaking.
Actuellement j'écoute:
Three Amigos! Original Motion Picture Soundtrack
vendredi, avril 17, 2009 

Humeur actuelle :hrtbrkn

Yup.  Among other things.


samedi, février 14, 2009 

Humeur actuelle :  déçu
I am so tired of all of this crap.

"Do I know where hell is?
Hell is in Hello
Heaven is good-bye forever
It’s time for me to go..."

Actuellement j'écoute:
Paint Your Wagon (1969 Film)
Par Alan Jay Lerner
Date de publication : 1994-04-12
jeudi, décembre 04, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  réfléchi

I'm so antsy to move, I don't know what to do!  =)  I love my friends, I love my family, and I DO love the west... but I'm so anxious for change.  Driving for 3 months, getting to know my country AND myself is what is on my mind most.  Just under 6 months and I'm out.  It's so exciting, but it seems so far away.

Okay, I need to put myself in the now.  I know once I leave, I'll miss everyone terribly, so I need to take advantage of the time I have with them before living here turns into a memory and not reality.

I'm just thinking out loud.  =)

Actuellement j'écoute:
Costello Music
Par The Fratellis
Date de publication : 2007-03-13
vendredi, novembre 21, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  confus

I am at a complete loss.  Seriously.  How DO people know what they want in life and how to achieve it?  How do people have so much energy to get things done?  How come other people don't let things get to them?  How can I do that?!  Why am I the coward?  Why don't I know myself?  Why do I not go out and get things done?  Why do I make the decisions I do?  How can I organize my thoughts and form them into something I can understand?  Why am I so scared of looking stupid?  Why do I lack the confidence?

Is life always such a struggle?  Will I ever KNOW me?  Why do people like me?  Is it me they like or how I portray myself as this silly little goofy dork?  Does anyone see the depth of my very person?  Could they interpret it and fill me in?  What's the point of my being?

I'm almost 25.  People around me know their path, have worked hard for their goals, and are where I wish I were.  How come I don't even know where to start?  I'm a lil' jealous...and confused.

Is this what my life will always be like?  When I do push myself, I get knocked on my ass.  It's hard to be motivated.  What can motivate me?

How Kelsey describes her life right now:   ???

Actuellement j'écoute:
Clancy Brothers - Greatest Hits
Par The Clancy Brothers
Date de publication : 1990-10-25
mercredi, novembre 12, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  romantique

This is so beautiful... As corny as it is, tears come to my eyes when I hear it...  =)

Letter 3

Good morning, on July 7

     Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us -
     I can live only wholly with you or not at all -
     Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits -
     Yes, unhappily it must be so -
     You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never -
     Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves.
     And yet my life in V is now a wretched life -
     Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men -
     At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection?
     My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once -
     Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together -
     Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell.
     Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
     ever thine
     ever mine
     ever ours

Actuellement Je regarde:
Sex and the City - The Movie (Special Edition)
Date de publication : 2008-09-23
mardi, octobre 28, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  méditatif

I've actually posted this many times before, but it's so amazing.  Seriously, read it...oh, and the part that is in italics and bolded was in the movie Kissing Jessica Stein.


 


Rainer Maria Rilke


Fear of the Inexplicable

But fear of the inexplicable has not alone impoverished
the existence of the individual; the relationship between
one human being and another has also been cramped by it,
as though it had been lifted out of the riverbed of
endless possibilities and set down in a fallow spot on the
bank, to which nothing happens. For it is not inertia alone
that is responsible for human relationships repeating
themselves from case to case, indescribably monotonous and
unrenewed: it is shyness before any sort of new,unforeseeable
experience with which one does not think oneself able to cope.

But only someone who is ready for everything, who excludes
nothing, not even the most enigmatical, will live the relation
to another as something alive
and will himself draw exhaustively
from his own existence. For if we think of this existence of
the individual as a larger or smaller room, it appears evident
that most people learn to know only a corner of their room, a
place by the window, a strip of floor on which they walk up and
down. Thus they have a certain security. And yet that dangerous
insecurity is so much more human which drives the prisoners in
Poe's stories to feel out the shapes of their horrible dungeons
and not be strangers to the unspeakable terror of their abode.

We, however, are not prisoners. No traps or snares are set about
us, and there is nothing which should intimidate or worry us.
We are set down in life as in the element to which we best
correspond, and over and above this we have through thousands of
years of accommodation become so like this life, that when we
hold still we are, through a happy mimicry,scarcely to be
distinguished from all that surrounds us. We have no reason to
mistrust our world, for it is not against us. Has it terrors,
they are our terrors; has it abysses, those abuses belong to us;
are dangers at hand, we must try to love them. And if only we
arrange our life according to that principle which counsels us
that we must always hold to the difficult, then that which now
still seems to us the most alien will become what we most trust
and find most faithful. How should we be able to forget those
ancient myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into
princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses
who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps
everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless
that wants help from us.

Actuellement Je regarde:
Kissing Jessica Stein
Date de publication : 2002-09-17
jeudi, octobre 09, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  sombre

I'm in a funk.  And I am sad.  =/

Actuellement j'écoute:
The Essential Willie Nelson
Par Willie Nelson
Date de publication : 2003-04-01
vendredi, septembre 26, 2008 

Humeur actuelle :  inspiré

-In school... seeing the Anthropology may not be the major for me.  Didn't know evolution was the basis of the subject.  Not my thing... still interesting, though.

-Work... is work.  I love seeing my friends, making new ones... but looks like I'm just working for the money these days.  Soon I can live my life.  =)

-Boy toy... Timothy is amazing.  =)  =) =)

-Family and friends... are the best!!!  LOVE. xo's

-Vacation... next week!  Timothy and I are going to New York and Boston to see my sweet sister, Victoria!  WOOOOOOOO!  So excited!

-Plans to move... still on my mind.  June 1st is not that far away. Still going alone.  Any takers??  Come on, be adventurous people!  See what else is out there.

Actuellement j'écoute:
It's Time
Par Michael Bublé
Date de publication : 2005-02-08