The Janesville, WI Kiwanis Club's Fall Fest-of-Ale (Get it? It's okay, it took me a while, too. Basically, "Fest-of-Ale" sounds like "festival" if you say it all together (which is, of course, different from "altogether (though not altogether different))) was totally awesome in a bitchin' sort of way. Tried 27(!) beers, some more than once, threw a remote at a sleeping roommate's head (who totally flipped out, by the way (and not in a violent way -- he questioned my very character. Like, "it's okay, because I make more money than you, and no one here even likes you." (it was later confirmed that they all, in fact, like me))), and farted and flipped families off the whole way back. Best beer of the night was an anniversary ale from the Milwaukee Ale House, so it's pretty much guaranteed that I'll never get to drink it again, and no one reading this will ever get to agree with me. The LIST (broken up into two posts because it contains more emoticons than this board allows (?!)):

Gray's Irish Style Ale - <_<
BluCreek Zen (Green Tea) IPA -
Sand Creek Badger Porter - :)
Capital Vintage Ale - <_<
Capital Winter Skal - :mellow:
Capital US Pale Ale - :D
James Page Extra Pale Ale - :mellow:
Point Cascade Pale Ale - :)
Granite City* Duke of Wellington IPA - :)
New Glarus Organic Pale Ale - :)
Summit Extra Pale Ale - :mellow:
Tyranena Bitter Woman IPA - :mellow:
Lakefront IPA - :mellow:
JT Whitney's* Frozen Tundra (Amber) - :(
JT Whitney's* JJ's Pumpkin Ale - :(
Pangaea Lilja's Pulling Boat Pale Ale - :(
Milwaukee Ale House* Louie's Demise Ale (Amber) - <_<
Milwaukee Ale House* Pull Chain Pale Ale - <_<
Milwaukee Ale House* 10th Anniversary Louie's Demise Ale - :werenotworthy: (BOTN, 2L2QBOTYC,S)) (After professing my love for this beer to the guy at the table, he proceeded to give me full pint pours for the rest of the night)
Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale - :mellow:
Breckenridge Proper Hefe - :mellow:
Spanish Peaks Black Dog Honey Raspberry - :(
Pete's Wicked Strawberry Blonde :)
Great Lakes Burning River (Pale) - :D
Big Sky Powder Hound - :mellow:
Dogfish Head Punkin Ale - :) (All DFH brought was this, Raison, and 60min. Disappointing.)
Fauerbach Export (that's really what it was supposed to be. When pressed, the owner/brewmaster admitted that this was also a Dortmunder) -
Bell's Two Hearted Ale - :D

The Bell's (the virtues of which have long been extolled to me since, basically the day they stopped shipping to IL) originally got a :( because a travel companion (later the recipient of the aforementioned remote) was standing next to me, staring at me, asking if I didn't agree that it was the best thing ever, ever. Earlier in the car he'd said it was one of the three beers he'd take to heaven (it was something he asked to pass the time, though I later learned that he is indeed a man with God in his heart (mine were Three Floyd's Alpha King, Schneider Aventinus, and Shipyard Pumpkinhead)). Needless to say it did not stand up to that much hype, but hours and a dozen or so really disappointing IPAs later and with that guy not around it pretty much knocked my socks off. That dude apologized to me for saying I didn't have any friends on the way to the car this morning, but there was still some noticeable tension from him toward me, and whenever he wasn't around we all laughed at the awesome sound it made smacking off his head.


All in all, just great times. Janesville, I'll see you next year! WE LOVE YOU JANESVILLE! I LOVE YOU, TENTH ANNIVERSARY LOUIE'S DEMISE ALE!



* - Brewpub

I thought this had about run its course on my profile page. I still really like it, though.




I currently work at Potbelly, but my ultimate, for-serious goal, is to open a chain of varying themed sandwich restaurants of my own. The first will be called "Sandwich Station." It will have a train theme. All of the employees will have to wear various uniforms. The person who makes the sandwiches will wear those stripey overalls and be called the "Sandwich Engineer." The cashier will be called the "Transaction Conductor" and will wear a conductor's uniform. The "Transaction Conductor" will have a pocket watch, which he or she (probably not "she") will check frequently. Every thirty or so minutes, he or she (again, unlikely) will loudly/proudly declare, "Next stop, Sandwiches!" There will be a CD on constant loop of a train going over tracks with the occasional train-whistle. The shoppe will be painted like the inside of a traincar, with plasma screen TVs acting as windows. The screens will display video from moving trains as they pass global landmarks, but each will be different, for some reason.

Once "Sandwich Station" takes off, and believe me, it will, my plan is to open sister stores with different themes. The first will be spaceship-themed. Every employee will be required to wear monochrome unitards, and greet each customer with a flat, "Greetings, human," or "Earthling." Everything will be prefaced with "Earth-," so lettuce will become "Earth-Lettuce," and four dollars and twenty-nine cents will be "Four Earth-dollars and twenty-nine Earth-cents." It will be all steel and chrome, with strange, flashing orbs and controls everywhere.

The last one I have planned for as of right now is a hospital theme. Everyone will wear gloves, and when people wash their hands, they will then hold them in the air until someone else can put their gloves on for them. Also, mayonnaise and mustard applicators will be shaped like crash pads, so employees will rub them together briefly, then put one on each half of the sandwich, say "Clear!" and push a button near the thumb, which will squirt mayonnaise on one side and mustard on the other. This store will be called "Sandwiches, Stat!"



Don't even get me started on my nautically-themed fine dining restaurant, where adults sit in sailboats and motorboats, and the kids hang out on a pirate ship. It's called "Dinner, HO!"

OK. I got a guy who gives me high-end beer at low prices. I'm going to NYC Wednesday and promised to bring some good midwest beer to my beer aficionado friend out there, and that combined with the fact that I had been completely broke before Friday's paycheck meant that I went a little overboard on "good" beer yesterday. Knowing that I probably wasn't going to end up doing anything but drink tonight, I should have gone out and bought a 12-pack of some shitty beer so that after I was good and drunk I could keep it going without it costing me too much. I didn't. Now it's after 11, so I can't. So I'm foolishly gonna drink all of this expensive-ass beer tonight and post some thoughts on it as I go. Mind you, I really love this high-end American micro-brew stuff, but my nose and taste for it aren't nearly as refined as they should be to accurately review beer. Also, my tastes trend strongly toward the spicy and hoppy. Dark beer is no good for me. Oh, and I'm drinking everything out of a tulip glass. (anyone interested in why I felt it necessary to include all of this information, it's because I spend a lot of time reading http://www.beeradvocate.com and that's how they do things.)

Three Floyds - Pride & Joy "Mild Ale" - 12oz. bottle, no ABV listed (pretty sure it's 5%)
(Three of these are a) Good way to start off the evening. They call it their "session beer." I only bought it because the store didn't get this company's Alpha King Pale Ale, which I tried for the first time a few weeks ago and which was incredible. The other beer they didn't get that they were supposed to was Warrenville's Two Brothers Brewery Hop Juice, which I decided immediately upon trying was my favorite beer ever. 9/9% ABV, but as balanced as any I've ever tried. Only ever had one. Anyways, this stuff is awesome. Hoppy, with a warm creaminess that blooms slowly over the tongue after swallowing. Really good.

Belhaven - Twisted Thistle IPA - 16.9oz bottle, 6.1%abv
What? What the fuck? The guy at the store told me this was the perfect marriage of American Pale and traditional European IPAs. I guess, if traditional Euro IPAs are really fucking weird. I've never had anything like this. It's not bad, but I probably won't have it again. Darker nose than taste, but still darker than I like. Then again, so's Schneider's Aventinus, and I find myself strangely drawn back to that one again and again, so maybe this will stick too. It's actually a lot better after sitting at room temp. for a few minutes. This is from Scotland, and I typically avoid imports, but this was recommended to me strongly by someone after they found out I like American Pales over absolutely anything (except Double IPAs, but those are just ridiculous).

Avery Brewing Company - The Maharaja Imperial IPA - 22oz bottle, 9.65%abv
If this blog descends into drunken weirdness or just doesn't get posted at all, it will be because of the beer I am about to drink. I find that with most BIG DIPAs, everyone universally agrees that you first smell grapefruit, maybe apples or pine. It's getting behind those scents that lead you to the heart of your (hopefully) complex beer experience. I'm getting a lot of orange, and that obvious grapefruit. I also am just getting over an epic cold, so I'll forgive myself for not nailing this tonight. Citrusy as hell, anyways. Oh wow, that's bitter. Grapefruit again. I am reading BeerAdvocate's reader reviews, and someone mentioned pineapple -- totally. I'm already feeling the alcohol, even though the balance is good. There's a weird hot-tingling on the back of my tongue. Well, if things go as they might from the way this beer should go, let's both of us hope that I manage at least to click "post," if not finish what I set out to do. This is really alcoholic and I'm not 1/4 done with it yet. The upside of passing out in the next 1/2 hr is that I don't have to worry about not getting any sleep, and I actually do extend my supplies beyond one night.

sidebar, as i drink this thing. went to two ozzfests last weekend. pretty good. can't wait for metalocalypse season two, which starts sept. 23. notice how i stopped with the proper capitalization? yeah, if i had any gumption i'd go through and delete all of it, merely for consistency, but it's just not worth it. i get so fucking sick of proper capitalization, no matter how smart/professional it makes what you write. almost wrote "right" there. gotta go see Superbad tomorrow, possibly alongside 2 or so other movies. Transformers for the third time is one obvious choice, but what of the other? okay, this hot-tingling is getting ridiculous. any more heat and i'll start wondering where it's coming from, despite the fact that i know the answer. all of the BA reviews of this stuff say to drink it with a friend, with one mentioning that drinking it alone is "not recommended." after a lot of pressure to do so, i signed on to facebook recently, to no acclaim. most of my friend requests went unanswered, and no one is commenting at me. nor are they doing so here, mind you. not begging for sympathy or anything, merely saying that if people were going to be so insistent upon me signing up there, you'd think it might have been something of a smallish deal when i did so. maybe i just haven't joined the 1,000,000 groups everyone else seems to be in, so i'm not getting the full effect. whatever, i hate it, like i hate when people say "should of."

You know I'm a dreamer
But my heart's of gold
I had to run away and hide
'Cause I couldn't go home
Just when things went right
Suddenly it all went wrong
Just take this song and you'll never feel
Left all alone

Take me to your heart
feel me in your bones
Just one more night
And I'm comin' off this
Long & winding road

I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Home sweet home

You know that I've seen
Too many romantic dreams
Up in lights, fallin' off
The silver screen

My heart's like an open book
For the whole world to read
Sometimes nothing keeps me together
At the seams

I'm on my way
I'm on my way
Home sweet home
Tonight tonight
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home
Home Sweet Home

Im on my way
I'm on my way
Home Sweet Home
Yeah
I'm on my way
Just set me free
Home Sweet Home


NOTHING I EVER DO WILL TOP THAT. ridiculously good shit. alright, i'm done.

this will be updated as i see more of the series. so far:

Imprint by Takashi Miike -- one of the most fucked up things i've ever seen. at the time it was really disturbing, but the time was kind of disturbing on it's own -- i'd been up watching horror movies and drinking Monster for 17hrs at that point, and though i'd seen a good chunk of J-horror, had never known that "the line" had been moved that far. it's a really fucked up movie, but i think the main reason i was so disturbed at the time was probably just all the sharpened-bamboo-vadge-stabbing abortions and the subsequent fetuses, plus all the really realistic-looking torture. needless to say, it stuck with me, and after several months, i can finally say that i've fully come around and am a fan of the thing. a big part of that was my little sister seeing it and not finding it all that fucked up.

Homecoming by Joe Dante -- saw it that same night. worst piece of shit ever. i mean, i get it -- we all hate Bush right now, and Ann Coulter is a horrible bitch. but this was just supremely stupid. i suggested at the time that the movie should have ended with a tight shot of Joe Dante's head and naked shoulders in the dark, his eyes closed, his right shoulder moving quickly but slightly, his face a contortion of ecstacy, until finally he groans mightily and then, after a few seconds, sighs. nothing good about it.

Pro-Life by John Carpenter -- just awful. the story was pretty lame, but more importantly, this felt like a Canadian B-movie. terrible effects, terrible acting, stupid story, stupid gore. at one point, the main bad guy (played by Ron Perlman, who is at his absolute worst), decides to give a male abortion-performing doctor an abortion. but it doesn't make sense how he does it -- he could just jam the spiky vacuum up the guy's asshole, but instead he decides he has to "make an incision" with the doctor's naked legs in the air. where is he cutting, the guy's sac or his taint? and, in either case, there isn't just tailbone-free abdomen above those spots, so where does the massive amount of blood come from? and even more offensive is the fact that Perlman's character has broken into this clinic and killed people in an effort to get his daughter back, who wants an abortion. she's only a room or two away, and the doctors are in there with here trying to figure out whether they can do it, and he's busy torturing this other dude? doesn't make a lick of fucking sense. there's a demon near the end that's pretty cool, but it doesn't make up for the awfulness that precedes and follows. fun fact: this was written by Drew McWeeny, aka Moriarty on AICN.

Dreams in the Witchhouse by Stuart Gordon -- Pretty good. Some lousy effects, but overall a satisfying witch movie with competent acting and a decent story. Early on Gordon succeeded in providing some pretty creepy sequences, and throughout you keep expecting those "BOO" scares -- like, a guy will be at the right of the frame looking for something scary to happen where he's looking (left), so you figure when he turns around something will be behind him -- but they keep not happening, so you start to think they won't ever happen, and then when one big one comes, it's really jolting. decent stuff, good necronomicon bit. librarian: "no one gets to see the necronomicon!"

as i just joined NetFlix, those are all i've seen thus far. i have Jenifer on its way and Pelts and Cigarette Burns on its heels. after that i'm looking for suggestions.

anyways, here's the thing.

This:
is NOT Casey Jones.

This:
is Casey Jones.


guy #1 is christopher meloni from law and order: SVU. guy #2 is elias koteas.


this guy.

February is going to be pretty great.2/4 - Bears win the Superbowl2/10 - (Lone) Wolf & Cub show - the note2/16 - Canucks @ Blackhawks (not sure i'm making this one)2/17 - AAW show - berwyn2/24 - ROH show - chicago2/25 - Blues @ Blackhawks2/27 - Redwings @ Blackhawks3/1 - Cougars show - the note (not technically applicable to February)3/13 - Lair of the Minotaur show - empty bottle (even less applicable!!)if anyone wants to join me for any of these things, you are making a wise choice.

I'm really excited about the Cougars show on the 16th at Double Door. They are pretty much my favorite non-metal band of all time, and they fucking never play shows any more, so this is a good one to be excited about. I posted a message about their show and how it had better be awesome, and they said I should blog about it. I, not being one not to do what I am told, am now complying with said suggestion. They used to be this weird pseudo-ska band called Hot Stove Jimmy, and I went to a lot of their shows in the late 90's, and one time the singer, Matt, asked me if I liked the new drummer. I hadn't even noticed a new drummer, but I said "yeah." I asked why the old one quit, and he said it was because "he couldn't handle the rock." That's really what he said. He also said that the band was playing around 20 shows a month. Now Cougars are playing their first show in six months in December.


Also, I didn't think they'd respond to my comment, or I would have taken their stupid song off my profile and put Manowar back.

yeah. i'm considering it. if i got the lead promotion at PB or got another job, i could probably have a few thousand saved up by the end of the summer, and meg seems certain she would be able to get me started.

issues concerning me most of all:
-not having a car.
-not having an even remotely impressive resume to explain my two years away from tv/media in general.
-not knowing anyone outside of my own family.
-the fact that people could easily be giving meg a false impression and couldn't, in fact, get me a job.
-failing wouldn't be too bad, but taking a while to fail, so that i ran out of money after meg left town and having nowhere to come back to would be pretty shitty.
-my inability to save money could sabotage this whole thing.
-i really love almost everything about living here.

things encouraging me most:
-meg and brett gustafson are both pretty certain i'd do ok.
-i've got ideas.
--idea #1: a few TV show pitches i've honed over the years. The Beep-Boops, MMOBP, VGDC.
--idea #2: comedy porn.
-no matter what came of it, at least i would have given it a shot. that's probably the most important one.


whatever i decide, i pretty much have to decide it in a matter of a couple weeks. justin can probably get me the kind of job where i could save like i would need to, but i kneejerkedly told him no, so to take that back i'd have to act quick, but i want to give PB the chance to promote me like they've been saying they would first. guess i'll have to chat with the jimbo tomorrow.