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♥the ultimate pogonophiliac♥

Adrienne Hawkins


Dernière mise à jour : 6/12/2009

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Sexe : Female
Statut : En couple
Age : 21
Zodiaque: Gémeaux

Ville : Boise
Région : Idaho
Pays: US
Date d’inscription :: 25/10/2005

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mardi, novembre 13, 2007 

Humeur actuelle :  confus

the rain is coming

to douche the fire

that was started

from mistakes

it has left

the ground that

was once a

beautiful garden

like a living black

hole

now damp and lonley

with only me

left standing,

In the burned

reckadge, I see it

against the grey and charled

ground

a hint of green

i walk closer

i see a flower

with no petals and only thorns along a

spiny stem,

i am afraid

it might be a cactus growing

in my new garden

then again

if i nurture it just right

it just might be

the rose bush i have been hoping for..

so i decide to keep it

to water and feed it

and hope

that even if it is a

cactus

that its a beautiful one

that accents the

memorys of my future

 

vendredi, août 18, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  accablé

the tears

are stinging the

backs of my eyes,

as i watch

my morning

cartoons,

I dont know

what to do,

she is gone..

just like that

vanished

I left her there

on the sunshine

filled field

knowing she woudn't

ever come back..

at least

not in the same way,

we just

started getting closer

the best

of friends

i would say in the least

but she is

Gone

away

never to

return the

SAME

but i will not let go

that easily

i do not give up

but time knows

i will

change too.

this scares me most.

 

 

Actuellement j'écoute:
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Par Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
Date de publication : 11 October, 2005
mardi, mai 09, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  confus

I can see it..

it is right around that corner

the finish line

I have almost reached it

if I just streched out my arm

I could touch it

But then...

I see them

sitting right there in the middle

the stones that block my way

i cant take my eyes off

of them

it is inevitable..

I will hit them..

I am tripping

and stumbling

hopfully I dont fall.....

Actuellement j'écoute:
All at Once
Par Paulson
Date de publication : 22 November, 2005
lundi, avril 03, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  seul

I am looking

forward to this day
and then

i am looking toward that day
i have the information
it came from reliable sources
but i have yet

to be fullfilled
waiting is so boring
i hate it
but  I guess
that is all i can do
but i wont
be sitting
while i am doing it

oh no 
i will be kicking

and screaming

 

Actuellement j'écoute:
Lifted or The Story Is in the Soil, Keep Your Ear to the Ground
Par Bright Eyes
Date de publication : 13 August, 2002
lundi, mars 13, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  content

I have fallen

and i cant seem to make

myself move

in any direction

east ..

or west..

and i

really dont

feel like making

and effort

to do so.

I want to

stay..

its nice here

its warm

and friendly

 i

have fallen

for someone

i never

thought

i would

i love

it

i hope i

never have

to move away

from this

spot

 

Actuellement j'écoute:
One Fell Swoop
Par Spill Canvas
Date de publication : 09 August, 2005
mercredi, février 01, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  méditatif

     It’s all so clear now, the clarity is blinding. My life is this glass box - that’s all there is to it: me, a glass box, and the teddy bear that is sitting right next to me. I don’t know why they are keeping me here.  I have always been here, ever since I can remember. I have never seen them, but I know they are here just on the other side of these walls - just watching and studying me. I am here alone except for my little Teddy; he is the only one that I talk to. Well, actually, he is the only one here, so I guess that he is the only one that I can talk to.

 

     I wish they would stop taking him from me when I am sleeping and taking out the recordings to study and decipher. I have tried to catch them in the act but they always seem to return him to me before I wake up. I know they are there - I can feel it. Who else would have stuck me in this room since birth? Certainly not my own parents. They must have told my parents that I died at birth or something crazy like that. All my hope of getting out of here will be lost forever if I ever find out it was my parents that willing put me in here. They will save me one day I just know it, I am sure that my own mother has a feeling that I am still alive.

 

     I fear that I will be here forever and never get out. They are watching me from the other side. Even though I cannot see them they are there, the walls are two-way mirrors, I just know it. I am probably on display at some zoo on another planet, and they don’t want me to know about it so they made it so people could only look in and I couldn’t look out.

 

“Teddy I feel like tomorrow I will be hungry for spaghetti and meat balls and a new video for learning.”

 

“…”

    

     I cannot believe that I just did it again; I talked to Teddy. Maybe if I don’t talk to Teddy they will let me out because they have no source for there information. But then again they are so cruel; they will probably leave me here to rot! And without asking Teddy for the food and videos I won’t be able to learn or eat. What would I do then? I would eventually give in I just know it. Teddy is my life source and my only friend.

 

“Teddy I will never not talk to you. I swear it. I think that I also want some chocolate cake, a whole one; for you and I to share. I am feeling tired now Teddy, so I will be going to sleep - wake me up if they come to get you.”

 

“…”

6 hours later…

 

“Teddy! I told you to wake me up if they took you! You never do what I say, when I say things like that. I have to say thank you for bringing me the spaghetti, tape and this delicious cake for us to share. So thank you, but I am still disappointed that you didn’t wake me - you little stinker.”

 

     I hate it when he does this. Why can’t he just, for once, do what I ask for? I know he means well, but why does he beat around the bush with this? He should just conjure up the guts and tell me the truth. He doesn’t like me and I know it; he’s just here because they make him stay. I can see the dislike in his eyes as he stares from across the table with his big slice of chocolate cake. Why does he not eat? I know he is hungry; he hasn’t eaten in days. Oh well. I think that I want to watch the tapes now.  

 

     “Come on Teddy, let’s watch the tape. I think it will be most pleasing to learn about the outside today.”

 

“…”

 

     Gosh, I love these tapes. They, and of course Teddy, are my only refuge from this boring place. I love the sound as I push the tapes in - it just makes me so happy just to know that for a few hours Teddy and I can get away to the outside world. I wonder if Teddy likes the tapes as much as I do?   Maybe I will ask him later, the tape is starting now. 

4 hours later…

 

“Teddy. You know what?”

 

“…”

 

“I really liked the tape that they chose today. I never would have thought that real bears eat meat. Do you eat meat Teddy?

 

“…”

 

“Well, I would certainly hope not. Who knows, if you did eat meat you might go cannibalistic on me and make me your dinner. I have seen the way you haven’t eaten in days. Why are you not eating Teddy?

 

“…”

 

“Oh really, you’re not hungry? Well, I don’t care! You are going to eat this spaghetti and like it, mister!”

 

“…”

 

     Why does he struggle like this? All he has to do is open his little bearish mouth and swallow - that’s all. I hate it when he is like this. Teddy just needs to learn to cooperate a little better. A little food will do him good - he is loosing our battle.  Wait!  I can see the spaghetti sliding down his fuzzy throat.  I do not want him doing to me what the bears on the tape did and if he is full of spaghetti he won’t be able to.

 

“Teddy, you are a very messy eater - you need to clean up your mess!”

 

“…”

 

“ Hey, man, don’t you talk to me that way! You just ate all my dinner, and I think that you should have a little more respect for someone who feeds you. Haven’t you ever heard the saying ‘don’t bite the hand that feeds you’?

 

“…”

 

“No? Well, now you have, and I hope you have learned your lesson, mister. I think that after my nap I will want a turkey sandwich with cranberry jelly and a tall glass of milk to wash it down. Do you think that you can do this small task for me, Teddy?"

 

“…”

 

“Whatever, Teddy. I cannot believe the words that are coming from your mouth!  I have not been mean to you! And just for your information, I think that I would like a new tape also. I am tired now and will be sleeping over here in case you need to know.”

 

“…”

2 hours later…

 

     There is something warm and soft on my face and I cant make out what it is. I can hardly breath with it on and no matter how hard I flail and hit at it, it will not come off my face. I am strangling, loosing air, whatever it is, is trying to kill me!

 

     Oh my gosh… it’s Teddy! Teddy is trying to kill me, but why? Why is Teddy killing me? Is it because I made him eat my spaghetti?

 

“I’m sorry, Teddy!  I’m sorry!”

 

     Slowly my breath leaves me, my mind fades into blackness, and I am finally free of the box.

 

vendredi, janvier 06, 2006 

Humeur actuelle :  accablé

I am so upset right now

 you could not believe it

it seem as if everyone I know and love

 has decided to up and leave.

 I do not like being alone

It scares me too much.

The only person i ever really talked to

here in new ghetto's

has decided never to come back.

I wish sometimes

That I had the same choice.