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Some things that I look forward to and keep me going, not really in any particular order: 1. Getting my hair done tomorrow. It’s WAY overdue and looks like shit. This isn’t a huge thing, but I always feels good after getting my hair did. 2.Going to Horriblefest in Cleveland in a couple weekends. And probably going there quite frequently, again. 3.Going to New York in May and hopefully again in September or October, maybe. 4.Getting some new tattoos. (depending on $$$). I have a shit ton of stuff that I want done. 5. CAMPING! CAMPING! CAMPING! I cannot wait to go camping, and would like to go more than once this Summer. 6.Cedar Point. (I hope you’re ready again, Rob and Erba...and whoever else) Erba, we need to take your boat there. 7.Going to the beach! I want to try to go quite frequently this year. Besides when we go camping, I have only gone twice in the past few years, both times last Summer. I used to go almost every fucking weekend. 8. Warm weather in general and spending lots of time outside. I want to try and enjoy it as much as possible. Summer goes by way too fast. 9. Hopefully signing up for some more classes soon. Not having money sucks and prevents me from doing a lot. The joys of being a homeowner. (yeah right)

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 I've lost a lot of faith and hope in love and people and I don't like it. I'm starting to become bitter and hopeless in regards to love and happiness and thinking that there are actually a lot of good, genuine people out there. I really don't want to be that way or become that way, especially at this age. I've got plenty of time to be that way when I'm old. But it's hard not to be when I feel like people I love and care about keep letting me down and hurting me. And it's hard when you think someone is a good person and then they do something to make you think otherwise of them and everything changes. Especially when you don't want to think badly about them or don't want  your opinion of them to change, but you just can't help it. It sucks and hurts a lot. I'm really starting to realize and believe that most people are really just out for themselves and only care about their self. I didn't used to totally think like that, but I am now definately feeling that that is true due to certain events and things that have happened in my life over the past couple of years. I'm sick of being sad about things and I'm sick of caring so much for nothing. I don't know what to do w/ myself. I just want to be happy and hopeful but am finding it very hard.