LOOK BUSYThere's an easy formula for becoming a slacker: Do nothing. Go get more coffee. Repeat. But how can you slack and still keep your job? Its all about appearances. Dilbert creator
Scott Adams lists low-impact ways to look like an overachiever.
Complain that you're totally swamped at every opportunity. Use phrases like up to my ass in alligators and jumping from one fire to another to make your job sound kind of sexy and dangerous.
Carry a piece of paper wherever you go. To give yourself the necessary urgent facial expression and body language, imagine its something incredibly important, like a stay of execution from the governor.
Never clean your cubicle. After all, if you had any spare cycles you wouldn't let yourself live like a pig.
Emailing looks like work. Email friends and family often.
If you feel like talking instead of working, talk to your boss. That counts as work no matter what you're chatting about. The ideal topic of conversation is how poorly all of your coworkers are performing.
If you wear glasses, leave an old pair on the desk as though you will be right back. Then go home.
Leave voice mails for coworkers at 1:00 am, even if you're getting up just to take a whiz. If you really want to inspire awe, leave a message for your boss with your thoughts on the company's outdated filing system at 11:30 pm on New Years Eve.
Be sure to get involved in unquantifiable projects. You want to be doing a lot of consulting and advising and attending. Avoid anything with a hard and fast deadline.
Learn to sleep with your back to the cubicle entrance. You'll have to practice to keep your head from slumping over, but its worth it. If you cant pull that off, try a neck brace painted the same color as your skin.
Bitch about your job as much as possible. This is considered work even though its fun.
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