What is the best way to attract sharks in the middle of a large body of water?

First stop a Navy ship (USS Paul Revere LPA-248 - August 1974) in the center of the Cebu Sea (Central Philippines), 100's miles from the nearest land.

Next have a Swim Call - in Navy terms this means any sailor who wants to go swimming can jump off the side of the ship or climb down a cargo net into the water.

Station Sailors with M14s in key locations around the ship to keep an eye out for sharks.

Lower a ship's boat to rescue any sailor having swimming problems.

Now, let the sailors splash around and do cannon balls off the side of the ship for about 30 min.

You have now attracted every shark in the area.

In this case every sailor (about 100) managed to walk across water to the rescue boat and cargo net, without anyone being attacked by the 50 or so sharks who came to see what was for lunch.

As lowly pollywogs crawl their way across the equator on the nice steel decks of a ship, they eventually cross paths with King Neptune's Royal Baby.

To get passed the Royal Baby, lowly pollywogs must kiss him on the belly.

The Royal Baby being a playful tike smears you head, nose, eyes, and ears with Royal Lard. Just for sport!

Next Stop is the Royal Dentist (who fills your mouth with some serious hot sauce) and a dunking in the Royal Pool (quick cleanup) and finally you are a

SHELLBACK!

Old sailors still have to work and make a living to be able to pay the GAS BILL today.

So what kind of work does an old sailor do today, check this out if you need someone to do some professonal writing for you.  

Word Solutions 

Polywogs are required to crawl around the deck as the ship crosses the Equator. Also, they must pass through a gauntlet of Shellbacks who encourage them by beating their butts with short pieces of firehoses. (which when properly prepared are just like being hit with wooden boards)

Next stop kissing the Royal Baby's Belly

Memorial Day is a day of recollection of all those who gave their lives for this country, so we should all take a minute to reflect.

I know I will for all those I personally knew who are not with us today and particpated in the following:

Vietnam -- Grenada -- Desert Shield -- Desert Storm -- other operations

If you are interested in other things I am involved with today, please check out my two websites and other blog.

Wetzel's Word Solutions

Science Inquiry & Technology

Freelance Writing

If you are missing the old days on a destroyer at sea, I want to point to a great blog called the Destroyermen.

This is a blog about USS Russell DDG 59 on deployment.

I noticed the faces are diffferent, the uniforms are different, and the ships are newer; however everything else is the same.

So check out the Destroyermen Blog.

I served in 4 destroyers:

USS Kidd DDG-993

USS Nicholson DD-982

USS Elliot DD-967

USS Paul F Foster DD-964 (Plankower).

Plankowner - commissioning crew

More Fun in the Navy, Crossing the Equator on the way to Indonesian.

All lowly Pollywogs must be initiated to become a Shellback!

In case you are wondering, the white stuff in my hair and beard is LARD and the chute I am climbing out of is filled with two weeks worth of wet garbage. 

Pollywog = somewho has not been across the equator

Shellback = duely initiated

In my last post I told you about eating cereal and in this post I am going to tell you about another food delight.

On my Navy ship, just like all Navy ships today, we had something called MidRats - Midnight Rations.

My  ship's speciality was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, this is what we had almost every night. Here is the recipe:

Take 5 one gallon cans of peanut butter at least 20 years old (I actually saw one can with a date of June 1952 stamped on it).

Add 2 one gallon cans of grape jelly.

Mix thoroughly in large metal pan.

Place metal pan in steam table and heat until it really bubbles.

Serve with two slices of stale bread.

Does this sound yummy! We called these delights Bear S?t sandwiches. I spent 6 months sailing the Pacific Ocean and South China Sea eating these delights.  

Eating breakfast on a Navy ship was always and adventure in the early 70's. Especially if you planned on eating cereal.

Cereal came in small boxes and the first thing you needed to do was shake the box violently for at least 30 seconds.

Once finished shaking, open the box immediately and empty contents into bowl.

Why all this preparation?

Because once the cereal hits the bowl you have just woken all the bugs in the cereal and you have given them a chance for survival by climbing out of the bowl quickly.

The fun is not over!

Since fresh milk was rare and powdered milk tasted like %$@! We would typically add koolaid to the cereal.

There is nothing like eating cereal that you allowed the fastest critters to escape (survival of the fittest), while the others drowned in your favorite orange koolaid.