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Skunk? Skunked? Skanked.



Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Gender: Female
Age: 16
City: Shoulda made a left turn at ALBUQUIRKY
State: New Mexico
Country: US
Signup Date: 11/14/2005

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November 4, 2009 - Wednesday 
Brass attack
Trumpets
Sax while cymbals crash
Here comes the bass line
The in your face line
Syncopation
Notes of elation

"Skank," is not a prostitute
We skank holding hands. 
Skunk?  Skunked?  Skanked. 
You kissed me gentle
Using my shoulders to lever yourself

Back from black
Now two tone
True colors are shown
I love it, They found it
We’ll call it our own
Syncopation
Notes of elation

Leaving the boredom of life at the door
And skankin’ about all night long
Colorful mood and happy hearts,
Such energy can’t see us wrong

Punk jazz feeling fusion
A reggae allusion
With me for the long run
In love with each other
In love with the music
Syncopation
Notes of elation

Rude boy, this one is for you
6:25 PM 
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October 13, 2009 - Tuesday 

Current mood:Skasome
Well I woke up this morning
It's a shame to say
I had to stop and think
"What happened to the world today?"
It seems that everthing has gone to shit
Now let me explain

Well back in the old days it used to be
Men in suits would wear a tie to look business-y
Then Avril found a way
to make things "Complicated"

She made it fashionably cool
To wear a tie to school
Although shes pop she says shes punk
and she looks like a fool
Well pop is music too I guess
Just well over rated

You say emo is bullshit
Well you're so hardcore
Only bashing on emo cause
Thats what you are
Although no one admits it
they know its true

You wear Chuck Taylors
But you hate the Ramones
Cry late at night and slit your wrists 
when no one is home
Then write a song
bout how your girlfriend hates you


Then of course there's the mall goths
Dressed in black
With neon laces on skater shoes 
Cause thats where its at
Twenty dollars blown on hair dye 
bought at hot topic

Well you're still in eighth grade
and only 4 ft tall
you and your clique scare kids at the mall
but when approached by a rent a cop
run home to your mommy

Don't destroy the music scene
we've worked at for so long
take your fads your fashin trends
but dont try to steal our songs

Its cool to wear a tie if your in the ska scene
but please dont do it mearly for avril lavienge
and dont sport a hawk
cause of blink- 182

If you dont know the Pistols, dont know the ramones
and dont do local concerts
Leave your studs and spikes at home
We dont need another wave of
POP PUNK AND POSERS
7:41 PM 
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September 8, 2009 - Tuesday 
hey babe,
im hacking you shit to tell you that you are ther most amazing person in the world.
you have no idea how much you mean to me.
every morning i wake up only to dread the thought that i dont get to see you....
i promise that one day soon we can be together all the time!
you have saved my life so many times and kept me sane!
i wish you knew how much you meant to me.
im glad i could even make you smile once through all the hell you have been through, because i know through all my hell you have made me smile and walk with my head up each day!
somedays i fell like nothing is going right. then i look at pics of our adventures and smile and know that i will always have you.
you are the bestest friend anyone can ask for.

without you there would be NO ME

i love you!


forever and a day,
Catherine Alexis Donovan-Hines
3:46 AM 
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August 20, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:cynically depressed
Somewhere along the line no lost its meaning. I learned that for me no doesnt always mean no, even when I want it to. And so this is how the cookie crumbles....

Asking me is just a formality. That is all it has ever been. My protests and declinations seem to go unheard.
no. No. NO. NO! 
How can a word become so meaningless? At times where I have truely mean it, utterring, or even SCREAMING, that one little syllable was a wasted effort. 

It was an August night, already three years have passed, when my definition of no was alterred. My  refusals took on a whole new meaning, one that I never intended.
no: Shes playing hard to get.
No.: She doesnt know what she really wants.
NO!: Yes.

I can say no, but since that night, when so much was taken from me, no is not a turn down anymore. No is just a hope. I know what happens if that wasnt the answer that was sought. It is turned over. Forgotten. There was no point asking. I meant to say yes any way.
10:51 PM 
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July 8, 2009 - Wednesday 
Our emotional state of choice is Ecstasy. Our nourishment of choice is Love. Our addiction of choice is technology. 
Our religion of choice is music. Our currency of choice is knowledge. Our politics of choice is none. 
Our society of choice is utopian though we know it will never be. You may hate us. You may dismiss us. You may misunderstand us. You may be unaware of our existence. 
We can only hope you do not care to judge us, because we would never judge you. We are not criminals. We are not disillusioned. We are not drug addicts. We are not naive children... 
We are one massive, global, tribal village that transcends man-made law, physical geography, and time itself. 
We are The Massive. One Massive. 
We were first drawn by the sound. From far away, the thunderous, muffled, echoing beat was comparable to a mother's heart soothing a child in her womb of concrete, steel, and electrical wiring. 
We were drawn back into this womb, and there, in the heat, dampness, and darkness of it, 
We came to accept that we are all equal. Not only to the darkness, and to ourselves, but to the very music slamming into us and passing through our souls: we are all equal. 
And somewhere around 35 Hz we could feel the hand of God at our backs, pushing us forward, pushing us to push ourselves to strengthen our minds, our bodies, and our spirits, 
Pushing us to turn to the person beside us to join hands and uplift them by sharing the uncontrollable joy we felt from creating this magical bubble that can, for one evening, protect us from the horrors, atrocities, and pollution of the outside world. It is in that very instant, with these initial realisations that each of us was truly born. 
We continue to pack our bodies into clubs, or warehouses, or buildings you've abandoned and left for naught, and we bring life to them for one night. 
Strong, throbbing, vibrant life in it's purest, most intense, most hedonistic form. 
In these makeshift spaces, we seek to shed ourselves of the burden of uncertainty for a future you have been unable to stabilise and secure for us. 
We seek to relinquish our inhibitions, and free ourselves from the shackle's and restraints you've put on us for your own peace of mind. 
We seek to re-write the programming that you have tried to indoctrinate us with since the moment we were born. 
Programming that tells us to hate, that tells us to judge, that tells us to stuff ourselves into the nearest and most convenient pigeon hole possible. Programming that even tells us to climb ladders for you, jump through hoops, and run through mazes and on hamster wheels. 
Programming that tells us to eat from the shiny silver spoon you are trying to feed us with, instead of nourish ourselves with our own capable hands. 
Programming that tells us to close our minds, instead of open them. 
Until the sun rises to burn our eyes by revealing the dis-utopian reality of a world you've created for us, we dance fiercely with our brothers and sisters in celebration of our life, of our culture, and of the values we believe in: 
Peace, Love, Freedom, Tolerance, Unity, Harmony, 
Expression, Responsibility and Respect. 
Our enemy of choice is ignorance. Our weapon of choice is information. Our crime of choice is breaking and challenging whatever laws you feel you need to put in place to stop us from celebrating our existence. 
But know that while you may shut down any given party, on any given night, in any given city, in any given country or continent on this beautiful planet, you can never shut down the entire party. 
You don't have access to that switch, no matter what you may think. The music will never stop. The heartbeat will never fade. The party will never end. 
4:12 AM 
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May 9, 2009 - Saturday 

rationalize


the hypnotizing stupidity  we live in


overpower the temptations


and the ramifications of, but not limiting to, the ways of putting out


breathe in hold for ten seconds


the exhale releasing the tension of the urge to jump on the societal Assiety that may occur


but reality has simple engraved its self as a blur


for what’s up is down and what’s black is white


no matter how good you are the price you pay is always right


you can be knocked down a thousand times by the blows that humanity gives out


but  one time you won’t respond to the ten count


as you lay in a state of mixed confusion


the allusion  to having cat like reflexes


eliminates the self actualization that  not all cats have nine lives


and that most people are spineless creatures


after a non profitable organization doesn’t occur


for the blur becomes clearer


as the years progress


that to impress who you want to impress


is not worth the stress it brings


be who you are


become your own person


for a army of men can conquer a warzone


but a army of one can conquer life

8:42 PM 
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May 4, 2009 - Monday 
I sent you flowers today,
But they didn't get delivered.
The company charged me anyways.

I'm picking up bad habits.
I pick up new ones almost every day.
I pick 'em up while I'm on my way.

Most of the time I feel like I don't belong.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.

You are my future, you're my memories.
Please don't ever forget about me.
You mean more to me
Than any song.

I was asleep when you called last night.
You left a message,
But I didn't check it.
There's a distance between us
And that's not a metaphor.
It's just poetry from me to you, you know.

Most of the time I feel so uninspired.
But I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.

You are my future, you're my memories.
Please don't ever forget about me.
You mean more to me
Than any song.

I got my new favorite record today.
My favorites change every single day.
Except you,
You'll always be number one.

You are my future, you're my memories.
Please don't ever forget about me.
You mean more to me
Than any song


-tom gable lyrics
8:26 PM 
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April 30, 2009 - Thursday 
If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this is useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all who claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think everything you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told you should want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned... ~Tyler
2:57 AM 
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January 24, 2009 - Saturday 

Current mood:unsure of anything and everything
An earthquake can shake a sturdy foundation.

A twister can rip and roar through a city like bread and butter.

A flood can but a damper on anyone's day...

However a force that endure any punishment is a force two people share..

Love...

The bond of which two beings pheromones go hog wild as fatal attraction sets in

It is the nature of man and woman whose desires for passion and thrill carry out a hunt

A hunt of not like cavemen,

So people can say love is so easy a caveman can do it.

But a hunt, a game of tag..
Girl loves boy

Boy flirts with girl

Girl offers boy her heart

The boy takes her heart but not her

Girl becomes confused

Boy kisses girl

Girl becomes more confused

And then the chaotic web of tangled lovers and woven

The outcome you end up having a pile of confused pieces and parts

As if the rubrics cube shattered all over your front door

We cannot control this emotion

We cannot put it on a leash and say down cupid

We cannot lock it in a cage

Or place it in a tank and feed it every so often.

Love is just floating aimlessly in the air

Waiting for some boy and some girl to draw the winning tickets of chance

To open the keys too each others hearts and let love and life breathe into their lives

For love can never die

it is as if the Lord said Poof let there be love

And love there is

And love shall stay

The angel

Held a lantern in my dark cold nights

As I walked blindingly through world

As I collapsed in a deprived state

His warmed me with his smile and his grace

His touched I longed for ran a tingle down my spine

As his eyes soothed my heart

I found my angel

As the chemical flame burns bright and strong

Giving hope and new birth

To lost souls scrambled all over

7:27 PM 
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January 21, 2009 - Wednesday 
Come on, take a step towards me
So you can figure me out
I've been hoping and praying for a single way
To show you what I'm all about
And I know, and I know this is the only way of pleasing the crowds
But when this is over and done with and we walk away
There should be no doubts

So let's get a little closer now
Let's get a little closer now

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

Come on love run with me
Get the hell out of this town
So we can get a better feel for each other
I'll take you, back to, when you
Remembered how you used to
Just live your life a little for me
Take the time to let it go
Step away and watch me grow

So let's get a little closer now
Let's get a little closer now

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong

You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try
You can stay if you want to
And I write to you and tell you how you've always been so special to me
You can stay if you want to, and I’ll try

To keep you close to me

You say, you say that we're all tied up
And wrapped around in useless, states of mind
But at the same time we're still young
We have the time to realize that we were wrong
2:13 PM 
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December 29, 2008 - Monday 
Whisper in the yard and
turn the trees all into toys
Lay there on the ground,
and turn the dirt into your joy
From what I see and what I know,
it's all been boring lately
So I suggest we trade a question mark
in for a maybe
Time your riddles right,
and make a point that has no sense
Make sure that you're smiling,
and the money's been well spent
Innocence and ignorance,
it all goes hand in hand
I'm not sure that I'm right,
but I hope you'll understand
I hope that you're still searching
for the start that has no end
And all the plastic people
have now become your friends
Before you start to drift
and your soul begins to scream
I just wanted to tell you

that you're listening to a dream
10:20 PM 
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December 24, 2008 - Wednesday 
This song is dedicated to someone I know... you know who you are... I think.

~~~

I got the call today, I didnt wanna hear
But I knew that it would come
An old, true friend of ours was talkin on the phone
She said youd found someone
And I thought of all the bad luck,
And the struggles we went through
And how I lost me and you lost you
What are these voices outside loves open door
Make us throw off our contentment
And beg for something more?
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, Im learning again Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
These times are so uncertain
Theres a yearning undefined
And people filled with rage
We all need a little tenderness
How can love survive in such a graceless age?
The trust and self-assurance that lead to happiness
Theyre the very things - we kill I guess
Pride and competition
Cannot fill these empty arms
And the work I put between us
You know it doesnt keep me warm
Im learning to live without you now
But I miss you, baby
And the more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought Id figured out
I have to learn again
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me anymore
There are people in your life whove come and gone
They let you down you know they hurt your pride
You better put it all behind you baby; life goes on
You keep carryin that anger; itll eat you up inside, baby
Ive been trying to get down
To the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think its about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Ive been tryin to get down
To the heart of the matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter
So Im thinkin about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you dont love me
Forgiveness
Forgiveness - baby
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, you dont love me anymore
12:37 AM 
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November 23, 2008 - Sunday 
Tonight we drink to youth
And holding fast the truth
Don't want to lose what I had as a boy
My heart still has a beat
But love is now a feat
As common as a cold day in L.A.

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

I'm fettered and abused
Stand naked and accused
Should I surface, this one-man submarine?
I only want the truth!
So tonight we drink to youth!
I'll never lose what I had as a boy

Sometimes when I'm alone I wonder
Is there a spell that I am under
Keeping me from seeing the real thing?

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Without love I won't survive

Love hurts
But sometimes it's a good hurt
And it feels like I'm alive
Love sings
When it transcends the bad things
Have a heart and try me
'cause without love I won't survive

Love hurts, ohhh-oh ohh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
Love hurts la-la-la-la-la-la oh
Love hurts
Without love I won't survive
7:55 AM 
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November 3, 2008 - Monday 
I don't get it. I should be more depressed right now. I should be a total and complete mess. I guess I am. But honestly I am also so very very happy. Yes. My dad is gone. Yes Brett is gone. Yes my dad will have been gone for a year on the fifth. Yes it has been one year and nine months since Brett blew his brains out. Yes a part of me is falling apart and wants to curl into a ball under the blanket and never wake. Yes this is getting annoyingly repetitive that all my sentences start with the word yes. and Yes this is the last sentence that will do so.
I miss my dad so badly. and I most definitely miss Brett. But at the same time thinking of them makes me so very happy. About half the tears I cry are happy tears. I loved them both so strongly. They are both gone but I know they would be happy to see me now


so anyway I just heard this song on the radio reminds me of a frind who was obsessed with it haha good times. I wonder where that kid is now lol

***
It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while
since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

It's been a while
since i could say that i wasn't addicted and
It's been a while
Since I could say I love myself as well and
It's been a while
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like i always do
It's been a while
But all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
the consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and fucked things up again

Why must i feel this way?
just make this go away
just one more peaceful day

Its been awhile
Since I could lok at myself straight
and it's been awhile
since i said i'm sorry
It's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
It's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
I know it's me i cannot blame this on my father
he did the best he could for me

It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while since i said i'm sorry
10:36 AM 
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October 23, 2008 - Thursday 
In two weeks my dad will have been dead one full year. One whole FUCKING year. I see my life as nothing more than a time line lately. One year since I checked into the hospital. One year since Devon. One year without my dad. One year since this night, or that night. I sometimes feel mentally stuck in the past. So mush that I almost stop living. But dont worry I am not that bad... yet.

I have so much running through my head. All my thoughts try to cheat their way to the front of the line. Its a mess, and those who really know me might have noticed that lately. Or maybe not.

I just need some form of release. Honestly the form I want most isnt much of an option right now. So I am stuck here venting to a blog that no one cares to read.

***

These are all the things we need to talk about
Although I've laid them out in front of you
All you've done is spit them down
From your mouth pour silver words covered in mud
But I still listen to that false release which they say....

So lets call it a day
Lover
Please dont forget to tell her
That even though she lies nude
On a mattress in your room
Its me that you still love
Yeah I'm the only one

And it seems to me that
When I walk up to you
With my heart in a box
Yours fades away
And its getting harder and farther and farther
And you'll smile cause its gaining freedom
Freedom...

So lets call it a day
Lover
Please dont forget to tell her
That even though she lies nude
On a mattress in your room
Its me that you still love
Yeah I'm the only one


I'm the only one...

6:43 AM 
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