In other news, related exclusively to the world of sports.....

My fantasy football team is 3-4. Derek Anderson has not helped me. I picked up Jason Campbell off the waiver wire a couple weeks ago...

I just made a trade with Dwight. He got Adrian Peterson. I got Maurice Jones- Drew AND Santana Moss. Keep in mind... Peterson is on a bye this week as well.

The SOX lost. And I am ok with that. I would not have been able to take the Manny bashing if Boston had come back and made the World Series.

Go Rays.

And finally... in the world of College Football this weekend. Go Dawgs. From Georgia.

Thanks for the love. And have a great weekend.

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

So the results from my first Annual Every 4 Year Straw Poll are now in. The results have been verified by independent auditors. The results are final. Nobody can challenge the results. Because it is my poll, and I make the rules.

I thank everyone in advance for participating. I mean, those of you who did. Given that 10s of thousands of people at least looked at the blog, certainly means something was drawing their attention.

The results were taken from Blog Comments and individual personal messages to me directly.

The results are as follows:

Who do you want to be the next President?

Obama: 61%

McCain: 30%

Kevin: 4%

Other/ Don't care: 5%

The most statistically significant thing I have learned is... I should get more votes than Ron Paul on election day.

So what does this mean? ... well, it means that I will follow the will of the peeps and, strictly based on these results... will cast my vote for Barack Obama on election day.

But a few notes to ponder.

1) I am no dummie. I would rather have 61% of the people here happy with me, than 30%.

2) The personal attacks that happened in the blog were not called for. Much like the personal attacks in the election. The whole... "Grammer and spellin shows u are ignant" argument is just silly. And actually innacurate. Just becawse someone don't spell good, doesnn't meen they are Republiscans or Demosmats. Teepos are possibles with either saide. So give up that argument. Please. For the love of god.

I did not delete those comments, because I wanted both sides to see how silly an argument it is.

3) Similarly, the argument that can best be titled, "We don't know who he is", or "He might be a terrorist" is just redunculous. With all of the background checks and investigative reports and reporting that has been done over the last TWO YEARS... if someone hasn't found it by now... it ain't there. So don't be silly.

These are 2 good men. Don't reduce good arguments on both sides, and a real difference of opinion to personal attacks of character.

4) Sarah Palin is hot. She has the librarian thing going on. And I don't dislike that. No further comment is needed.

5) Joe Biden is not nearly as hot. In fact, I feel it safe to say I am not attracted to him in the least.

Both sides have excellent arguments. Just stop name calling and argue about the real differences that these guys have...

Good? OK. Good.

In other news... THE OFFICE is back on tonight with an ALL NEW EPISODE on the Mothership. CRIME AID... is the name of the footage. There is a robbery at The Office, and stuff is stolen. In my case... very valuable stuff.

Congrats to all of us. And by "all of us" i mean viewers/ fans, etc. The Office, for the first 3 episodes of the year, have had almost identical ratings/ viewers than it had at the same time last year. EVERY OTHER show on network tv, is having a reversal, due to dvr thingies. So it really is amazing. So congrats to you. And thanks from me.

Whoever you support... Go Vote on Nov. 4. And Whoever you support... for krikies sake... keep watching the show.

Peace and all kinds of love,
Kev

Peeps-

First, a few words about baseball. Given that I am from Scranton, and a mere 2 hours from Philly, you would THINK that I am a Philly Phillys Phan. I am not. For reasons that are too complex to explain in one short blog, I am a Dodger fan. The Los Angeles Dodgers. Weird, right? That a guy from Scranton would root against the home state team, and root FOR a team from so far away. But I can't help it. I hate the nasty red of the Phillys. Phyan PhHoward. Please. Sure he hits the ball long and hard (That's what she said), but he also... gets out sometimes. But the Phictorino... he burns my can. Just cause he almost got hit in the head with a ball... he gets all pissy, and decides to be good all of a sudden...

Sidenote: Flannery's in Philly is a good place to see a game. And have an adult beverage.

So... there u go. The Phillys and their Phanatics won. Congratufreakinglations. Just wait until next year. When own young guys get a little older, and our pitching gets a little better... we are going to be hella good.

And one final note: If anyone knows Manny Ramirez.. Tell him I love him. And tell the folks in Boston that I am glad to take any more of their best players, to the Dodgers. If they want to give us Ortiz next year for nothing, we will be happy to take him. And let the Boston fans know one more thing... that because they lost Manny, they will be watching the Tampa Bay Rays in the Series, while we watch the Phillys. Why am I picking on Boston... cause I have lots of friends there, that this will really burn their can.

So the Dodgers lost. So that = bad. And that is all I will say about baseball until next year.

Now on to something we can all agree on. The election. Right? I mean, we all DO agree, right? Did any of you watch the debate last night? If u would like to use this forum to discuss the election... feel free... BUT... I would like to take a straw poll. I will release the results next week. Let me know who u support, and if you want to say why... all the better. If you would like to keep your vote secret (from everyone but me)... send me a private message. Again, I will release the results next week.

One final note that I neglected to mention in my summer blog wrap up. I played some golf at a tournament in Tahoe last summer. It was one of the best times I have ever had. If you are looking for a fun trip to watch some golf with (mostly) your favorite athletes of the past...check out the American Century Championship Golf Tourney in Lake Tahoe. In July. It is a blast.

So... finally... tonight. THE OFFICE is on. New episode. 9pm on the coasts. 8pm in the middle of the country. Our audience so far this season has been AWESOME. One of the only shows this year that has not decreased in audience numbers from a year ago. Tonight's footage is hella hella funny. In fact... the part that they call the "Cold Open"... the part that happens at the very beginning before the credits roll... I had an opportunity to see yesterday. And it is really really funny. And I never say that. So turn on your TVs at least 1 mminute early, and don't miss the beginning....

All best my friends. Hate the Phillys. And let me know who you support in the election, and I will give results next week.

And for frick sakes.... watch the show...

Peace, Kev

Tonight's the Night....

We Got Tonight.... Who Needs Tomorrow...

Today.... My Country Tis of THee.... Today....

Peeps-

So first, the Bad news. We did not win the Emmy. In fact, we did not win any Emmys. Not for writing (but as I have said, how can you possibly write a documentary), not for Directing (I guess someone has to tell the camera what to do), and not for "Acting" (which in our case means, "Best Personality"). Finally, not for "Best Show Ever". We lost. All of them. And while I should not be upset about this (Note: we have won in the past), it really made for a long and boring evening of award show-ness. What's more... this show called "30 Rock" won basically every award possible. Do you think it is good? Has anyone ever seen it? I love the librarian look on Tina Fey, so she can win any award she wants in my book.

So.... better luck next year I guess. At least I got to hang with the cool peeps for a couple of days. Lilo and SamRon really know how to spin good toons.

But now I am back in Scranton, and, well.... here is the good news. Tonight, THE OFFICE Premieres! After the long winter months, (ok fine summer) you will be given the chance to see what has been going on, all the while, back here at Dunder Mifflin in Scranton. Yep, that is correct... Every other year, the footage picks up after the summer is over. And you guys have to kinda guess what happened while the cameras were gone. But not this year. The cameras stayed rolling all thru the summer, so now, tonight, you get to actually see what you missed.

I could tell you right now what u missed... but I might get in trouble.

So watch it tonight. See it all unfold. At 9pm on the coasts. 8pm in the middle of the country. On the mothership. NBC.

And yeah, it is an hour. One full hour (that's what he promised.) And yeah, Holly is back. And yeah, I am still trying to bang her. Though....

In other news- Angela is still a complete and utter bee- yotch.

I have some more news... but Michael just called us into the conference room and said we have to work late. So I will catch you later. I just hope we get out of here before tonight....

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

Well, summer is here in full force, and I have wiped off the sweat on my brow to once again blog to you, my dear dear friends...

I trust all of you have had a good summer so far. What have you done? Been doing? Anything fun? Anything that anyone else would want to read about? I have had contests in the past that turned out to be to hard to judge (that's what she said), so I officially WON'T have one now... but feel free to write about your exploits.

Things have been going ok here in Scranton. Holly still seems pretty into me. And I really like her. I think we can be something special. Not like Stacy and her meanness. We haven't talked yet about disclosing our relationship to HR, but I figure since she is HR, she already knows about it. So technically, I am not doing anything wrong. And also, I haven't seen her is a couple of weeks. She works in the other part of the office, so it is hard to get back there during the day sometimes...

What else is new? Ummmm... I went to a concert on the hill here in Scranton. It was pretty awesome. Sarah Boralis, Counting Crows, Maroon 5. They were all pretty good. But the after party, as always, was even better...

I have been traveling a bit this summer. Making my way to New York a couple of times. THAT is my kinda town. Not Chicago. New York. Maybe I should move there... Hey. If anybody knows of anyone in New York who needs an accountant- tell them to give me a call. I am not TECHNICALLY licensed. But I know my stuff. So it really shouldn't matter...

Oh, our little program. THE OFFICE, was nominated once again for a gaggle of Emmys. So that is always a good time. I get to go out to Cali and go see those again I guess. It was fun a couple of years ago, but last year, when we did not win... was not nearly as fun.

The camera crews have just come back to Dunder Mifflin, and they are shooting us once again. I guess the mothership (NBC) will have new episodes on the TV sometime in September. That is cool. My mom always likes that. When she can see me on the TV. Cause I don't really go home that much.

Has anyone ever been to Miami? That is a city I would like to go to...

So I just heard about this new "exercise" technique called "Pole Dancing for Exercise". Actually, I don't know if that is what it is called, but there are actual classes you can take to go "do" pole dancing, and it apparently gives quite a work out. Does anyone know if you can pay for classes, and then sit out and just watch? Like in gym, where you pretended to have a stomach ache so you wouldn't have to run the mile in under 9 minutes. Cause if you could do that... I would so sign up...

Jan is still pregnant. That's all. It was just surprising, so... I thought I would bring it up.

Anything u want to hear about any of my other friends? Hmmmmm... I refuse to talk about Angela. Cause I hate her. Toby is gone and I haven't seen him since he left for Costa Rica. Jim and I are playing Fantasy Football again, with other people in the office here. We invite some of the camera guys to play too. Most of them are pretty cool. Except Randall. God he is an ass...

(For those of you who hate sports... skip this paragraph.) I drafted Number 2. I drafted Adrian Peterson. I then picked up Larry Fitzgerald and TK Houshmandzedahahahahaha. I was surprised by the fact I was still able to get the Browns QB in round 4. And I got the Chargers DE. We pick the old fashion way here. We pass a pad around the office and it generally takes us about 3 weeks to draft. Today I picked up Mark Bulger and Derek Mason in Roughly Rounds 7 and 8. I have the Texans TE (Owen Daniels). And I cannot remember who else. As I said, it takes a while and is hard to remember...

And I guess that kinda catches you up. Somewhat. OK, fine... not really... but are we gonna stay mad for long? I have missed each and every one of you in decidedly different ways.

I am back now. And ready for business. And for God's sake... I still hate Angela.

Peace,
Kev

I have been traveling. My computer has not been working. My phone is acting weird. And I have blisters on my feet.

But I still wanted to send the reminder that THE OFFICE Season Finale is on TONIGHT!!

Special one hour show. Starts at 9pm on the coasts, and 8pm Central. It is on for an hour. And there are a lot of twists and turns. And I don't mean from Twister. Like, secrets revealed. Bombs are dropped. And it is my hope, and expectation, that there is plenty of funny.

So watch it. And then tell me what you think. And then. Tell me what you think happens next.

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

Depending on what publication you find... the footage that the mothership is airing tonight is EITHER called... "Parking" or "Chair Model". The title of the footage has changed a few times. But trust me when I say... it is the same ALL NEW footage.

So yeah. Tonight there is a brand new THE OFFICE on the television. And so I expect some of you will be happy. Others of you may be indifferent. Some of you might be pissed. But in any case... it is on. And it is new. And that is really all I can say about that.

You know sometimes, because our office is on tv, press people come by the set and have a chat with us. Ask us questions about what is the haps. These kinds of things. But due to a LOT of big happenings at Dunder Mifflin between now and the end of the year... the mothership does not like us talking about those things. They would prefer that you learn the haps when it airs for the first time.

So it makes those little talks with the press a bit awkward. They say... "So what has been going on at Dunder Mifflin?" And I say, "I cannot tell you." And then they say... "ok... let me be more specific... what is going on with you and your fiancee Stacy?" And I say... "I cannot talk about it, but if you watch tonight's episode, you might find out."

And ooooops... I have to go now. I am writing this at work, and Michael needs to see me in the conference room. Goota go. But watch THE OFFICE tonight.

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

After a looooong (that’s what she said) 4 and a half months. And a mind numbing amount of reruns and Dancing with the Idols. THE OFFICE is back and open for business. And some new footage airs TONIGHT on the mothership. (cue chimes) N-B-C. 9pm on the coasts and at 8pm in the middle of the country.

I cannot tell you how many people have come up to me on the streets of Scranton and asked... when will we get to see new footage of you guys? Why is Oscar gay? Why are you so unbelievably cool? Is Pam really as hot as she looks on the TV? Angela is a total wench. How can a guy like you not be taken?

Well those questions will be answered tonight. In truth, only maybe 1 or 2 of those questions, but we are back tonight. April 10. And I hope you enjoy the footage.

Yours truly (that means ME, Kevin) will not be seen for the most part this evening. I hear that the footage they are showing is of a dinner party that Michael and Jan hosted. Thankfully, I was not invited to the party. So I don’t really know what happens. And that makes me as eager as the rest of you to find out what happened.

But do not despair, Army of Kevin, I understand from the bigwigs (why do they call them bigwigs?) at the mothership that there will be more footage of me next week than you can handle (again, seriously, that IS what she said).

But I would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the wellwishes the fans sent over our looooooong (clears throat) break. It has been long. And hard. But sometimes, when you have to wait for it. It makes it all that more satisfying. Ummmm...

What was I talking about again?

The other big news going on in Scranton, PA right now. The primaries for President of the United States. I don’t know what all the hoopla is about. We already know who our next president is going to be. And if you ask me real nice, I might just tell you.

Heard an interesting story... (hope this was not confidential) a reporter from jolly ole England was going to come to Scranton and do a story about the primaries. Again, cause it is kinda a big deal. And this reporter got on GOOGLE and started GOOGle-ING Scranton to do some research. And time after time this reporter kept finding articles about THE OFFICE, and THE OFFICE Convention. So this reporter decided to scrap the Primary article, and instead is coming to Scranton tonight, to watch the OFFICE re- Premiere tonight with locals. And do a story on that. Sit down McCant. Step aside McClinton. Tonight, the peeps in jolly ole England across the pond get to read about something that TRULY matters. Us.

Segue.

I have a real dilema. Dillema. Dalimma. How the F do you spell that word? Anyway, I have a problem. The Triple-A Baseball Affiliate for the Yankees are now stationed in Scranton/ Wilkes- Barre. How do I root root root for the home team, when I hate nobody as much as I hate the Yankees?

Another dile...ummm... issue. How can one hate someone as much as I hate Angela? Actually, that is not an issue. I just wanted to mention one more time how much I hate her.

But tonight I will forget all about hate. And bring on the love. Because THE OFFICE is back and open for business. And once more, say it together this time... That’s what she said.

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

Yesterday, on March 6, 2008, the camera crew returned to Dunder Mifflin. I still don't understand why they were gone. Something about Pencils Down (Thats what she said.)

In any event, they are now back. Filming the crew in Scranton. And let me be the first to say... I am happy to see them all back. All except Randall. He is an ass.

So what does this mean to all the peeps who want to watch our show on the television...? We will be back on the air with all new footage beginning on April 10. That is April 10, on the mothership. NBC.

I like to joke. You like to joke. We all like to joke.

But in truth... It feels very good to have the whole gang together again.

Have a good weekend.

Peace,
Kev

Peeps-

I am baaaaaaaaack. It has been a while. I lost the password for my desktop, and I was scared Michael would be mad if I asked for it from Toby. So for the past 3 months, I have just been sitting at my desk pretending to work. Not a whole lot different from normal, but eventually, I needed to check my email, so I broke into Toby's desk, and got the Admin password.

So... I have that now, if anybody needs it.

I guess something else has been going on for the last 3 months as well, but I have not been able to search news on the web. What has been happening?

Someone mentioned that our little show (entitled THE OFFICE, in case you forgot) has not had any new episodes on the air. A little bunny told me that that will soon be changing. That new episodes will be shot by the little camera crew, and folks will get to see the haps by early Spring.

Of course, sometimes the bunny lies to me, so if so... I will let you know that as well.

Oh, I am going to be taking a little trip. For the Mothership (NBC). I guess for some reason they think I would be a good person to judge their summer reality show, Last Comic Standing. So if you find yourself in or around Minneapolis, MN next week... I will be there. I guess you can search the Mothership's website for details. They haven't given any details to me yet.

I would give you more of an update on what has been going on, but I cannot remember anything. I guess I should have taken notes.

So hang in there. Be cool. Be hip. And come see me in Frosty Minnesota, if you dare. In any case, you should be seeing new shenanigans on the mothership soon.

That's what she said.

(I realized I had not worked that in yet. And It had been so long (That's what she said) since I had written it.)

Peace,
Kev

PS- What the hell do writers DO, anyway? Besides write on funny little notecards, and eat snacks.