so I havn't updated in a while, figure now is as good a time as any. hmm...all that's new...
A guy that i work with was fighting with his girlfriend the other day and jumped out of a moving vehical, cracking his skull open, and he got bad bruising on his brain, and is in a bad state at a hospital in a big city, =.. hoping he does okay......

I just started dating, it's been a long time since i had a steady girlfriend i got to see most every day. It's really cool to have someone to cuddle with again too. it's nice to feel happy and have a reason to smile look you in the eye.  She took me with her to church this sunday, i havn't gone in a long time, almost two years, it was pretty cool. Had lunch with her parents, got 'interrogated' by her dad lol, and had a friendly chat with her mom :)  it's pretty cool. we'll be going down to Nanaimo to meet my folks and stuff at the end of the month.

somewhat related to the end there, i havn['t been able to get through to my parents for like a week, it's getting a tad frusterating. I'd like to tell them i'm coming down, but...well can't...

also related...i called a certain someone i had planned on visiting in september...to tell her that i wouldn't be able to go anymore. I don't think it'd be a right move while dating someone else..and...well...i hate how her voice sounded.... hate the hurting heart. I wish i could make it better, but...I can't..... 

anyhow, that's about all for now....

i hate typing a long blog and it getting messed up and lost....

well...my life's boring as of late, so time for another song...

Starting With me

I had a one night stand
With my best friend's baby sister,
And to this day
He still won't speak to me
I pawned my grandpa's
Old guitar in college
For a case of beer
And a tank of gasoline...

I took a swing at my old man
One christmas
I never dreamed
that it would be his last.
I wish mom had wrung my neck
When she caught me with those cigarettes
Which reminds me,
I'm down to my last pack.

If I had a dime
For half the things I did
That didn't make no sense at all
I'd be livin a little higher on the hall
If I'd only known
That later on down the road,
I'd look back and not like what I see
I'd have changed a lot of things
Starting with me.

I called my brother
Everything I could think of
The night he wouldn't
Bail me out of jail.
I lost a job most folks
Round here would die for
By layin out all night,
And raising hell

I let a woman that I love
Slip through my fingers.
Chalk another dumb move up
To my foolish pride
I wasn't there standing by the bed
When the preacher bowed his head
With the family,
the day my grandma died.

If I had a dime
For half the thing's I did
That made no sense at all
I'd be livin a little higher on the hall.
If only I had known,
that later on down the road,
I'd look back and not like what I see,
I'd have changed a lot of things
Starting with me

If only I'd had known,
that later on down the road,
I'd look back and not like what I see,
I'd have changed a lot of things
Starting with me...

Jake Owens

Thanks for a good one Chris..

Start by putting in 6 weird things about yourself...
Make sure you include somewhere the rules....
Then pick 6 people to TAG!!! YAY!
then send people comments so they know they dun been tagged, :P

My weird things

1) Whenever I eat almost anything, I do so in 4 bites, or multiples of 4....
sandwiches are usually 16 bites...and candy i grab in 4's

2) I almost NEVER buy something at a resteruant other than what i usually have. I'm scared to death of ordering something I don't like.

3) Sometimes I'll say a word several times in my head if it's used at the end of the sentence....sentence...sentence....

4) I draw an X between the corners of sidewalk squares and then never step on the X only I can see...

5) I sometimes listen to the same song over and over again. My record is 13 hours...thanks Chris :P Fishing In The Dark

6) I spend time looking for something that doesn't exist and I can never find. Even though I know it's not there, I walk around my house looking for it.

Tag time!!!

Chris
Nimuri
Lori
Ken
Kimmy
Kayla

Okay, so, long time no update, i think it's about time. hmm where to start...
Work is tiresome as usual, so i won't go into that
ummm....sooo....hmm...life...it's been okay. I've been feeling SO freakin lonely as of late, it's really sucked. I made a move to fix that, turns out she already has a boyfriend, lol. *shrugs* that's the way things are I guess.
I've been listening to a few songs over and over lately, helps me to feel sad, so hompefully i can get it all out and feel better. It's little comfort, but the best i got, so now I share the songs with you :)

Buried In Blue

The sun sets
red with rage,
while clouds float by
like high cotton.
Blank as
an empty page.
Blue is the colour,
buried, not forgotton.

Sweet as
mother's milk,
and clear
as the wind.
Wrap the dead
in a pleat of silk.
Blue is the colour
to be burried in.

When you left,
leaving nothing behind;
there's no one to blame:
no criminal,
no crime.
You can report
a missing person
but not a stolen heart.
And I'm missing a person
to whom stealing
was an art.

The painting's complete
The brush strokes dry.
I hear a band playing
A bent note, or two.
I guess someone died,
And just want's to be
Buried In Blue.


Hello

I've been alone with you inside my mind.
And in my dreams, I've kissed your lips,
A thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door

Hello?
Is it me you're looking for?

I can see it in your eyes
I can see it in your smile.
You're all I've ever wanted
And my arms are open wide
Cuz you know just what to say
And you know just what to do
And I want to tell you so much
I love you.

I long to see the sunlight in your hair.
And tell you time and time again
How much I care.
Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow.

Hello?
I've just got to let you know

Cuz I wonder wher eyou are
And A wonder what you do.
Are you somewhere feeling lonely?
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart,
For I havn't got a clue;
But let me start by saying:
I love you.

Hello?
Is it me you're looking for?

Cuz I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do.
Are you somewhere feeling lonely,
Or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart,
For I havn't got a clue.
But let me start by saying:
I love you.

Wishing On Someone Else's Star

Alone again tonight
Without someone to love.
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up.
Oh, I wish I may,
And I wish with all my might
For a love I'm dreaming of
And missing in my life.

You'd think that I could find
A true love of my own.
It happens all the time
To people that I know.
Their wishes all come true,
So I've got to believe
There's still someone out there who's
Meant for only me...

Guess I must be wishing on
Someone elses star.
Seems that someone else keeps getting
What I'm wishing for.
Why can't I be as lucky as
Those other people are.
Guess I must be wishing on
Someone else's star.

I sit here in the dark
And stare up at the sky..
I can't give my heart
One good reason why
Everywhere I look
It's lovers that I see.
Seems like everyone's in love;
Everyone but me.

Guess I must be wishing on
Someone else's star.
Seems like someone else keeps getting
What I'm wishing for.
Why can't I be as lucky as
Those other people are?
Guess I must be wishing on
Someone else's star.

Why can't I be as lucky as
Those other people are?
Guess I must be wishing on
Someone Else's Star.


okay well, i guess that's enough for today. 
Peace everyone :)

OKay, so Stephka said i should, and we all know me lol

1) Grab the nearest book
2) Open to page 123, and down to the 4th sentence.
3) Post the text of the following three sentences on your blog...

"But even as he said it, he wondered if he was right. Warm-blooded animals carried rabies. Were the compies warm blooded?"

4) Name of the book and author : The Lost World by Michael Crichton
5) Tagging Time!!
        - Joe
        - Chris
        - Nimuri
        - Jasi

Okay so...this is gonna be a longer than normal one....

Work: I work at a nice little place called Tim Hortons. I do the graveyard shift. at my store, there are always two people working graveyards a night. Because last night is close to christmas, one of the usualy people i work with had the night off. That suck me with the one person that no one ever wants to work with, who's slow, and a time waster, and too talkative, but who doesn't get fired because she'll cover shifts for people....with that in mind, the two roles of the GY shift, are Baker, and storefront person.   this person does not do baking, so that came down to me.  All of this is okay; I can deal with that.   Every night, the GY baker is given a production sheet, saying what to bake, and how many of them to do. Given that i was baking for saturday morning, my bake was a good size to begin with, but not too bad...it's a size that i should get through the night no problem...and there's a little note attached tonight...it read: "Alex. Someone ordered 5 dozen donuts for 7am, so I've increased the bake count"   This note makes me happy, they did the math for me, so i just bake what teh numbers say...so I look at the sheet, and they didnt add 5 doz donuts, they added more than 11 dozen...i was floored....this is WAY pushing it...5 doz will put me a bit behind, but not bad....11 dozen destroys my night....i'm bad at baking, and i dont' like baking...but what choice do i have but to get to work...so i do....
4:30 am rolls around, and in comes a manager, who says, "i didn't leave a message saying i'd be coming in, but here i am, sorry"  well...had i KNOWN i was gonna get help, and not be left alone, my night would have been WAY better....thanks for the help >.< and so what does she proceed to do? the dishes...the one thing in the kitchen i DON"T need done at the moment....on a normal night, the production should be out and being solc by 4-5 am...all mine wasn't there until 7am...when i get off work...so about two hours behind....but i get it done...dispite issues with topping and filling, i get it all out....and i start to clean, at 7am when i should be going home...
The day baker sas, if you leave that stuff, and clean the muffin tins, i'll take care of the rest. I say, OK! and get to the muffin tins....afterwards i go to take the garbage out to the back dumpster, when lo and behold, the manager sticks her head out the window, to remind me i forgot dishes.....at this point, the thought i'd been rolling around decided itself...
i came in, looked at them and asked, "Do you WANT me to wash those?" to which her face said "Yes, but I'm scared to say that." until one of the three day bakers said, "it's okay, he did extra donuts, i'll do them." and i then looked at the manager and said, "I'd already set that up with them."  well by this time i'm pissed off to the point wher ei have to stand and breathe deeply, which is big for me if you know me. i was so ready to quit on the spot, that i didn't put my hat or nametag in my bag. I didn't quite, but that's cuz tonight is the last night before christmas, so i'll do it tomorrow morning.

That's the first bit i needed to get out *takes a breath*

I have this weird mood that i go through every few months, since i was 13, and it goes like this: when i come to a break in what i'm doing, i get up, walk somewhere with cupboards, and look in them, then go back to what i'm doing.... I always look for something, but i never find it, and it's never there, and sometimes i realize this and pace around the room several times, i don't know why, but it bugs the hell outta me, and i wish i would just find it!!

I hate feeling depressed, somedays i wish i could go back and just be...well like 6 again. Have all my decisions made for me, be young enough to be innocent to the world, but old enough to think i know everything there is to know....i want to have fun again, and be happy again...it's been so long...

So next is Christmas....all year builds to christmas, and i hate the let down...song promise happiness and snow and good times, and none of those ever happen.  Everyone pretends to be so happy, but....I never feel it...every year i let myself believe that i might be happy this year, and every year i end up depressed....god i can't wait for january....

and this is the last thing, i hope...
I'm in love. I'm in love with the most beautiful woman on the planet...and she loves me too, she says...the issue? she lives further away than anyone else i know....I had set up to deal with this, and was ready to wait...but...well i hate having these doubts in my head....there's a new guy that i get a sense may be something, and i can never get time to ask her about it....but her away messages are worded in such a way that they can't be about me...and her comments on his page are what she used to say to me. and his blog that makes me want to know is private viewed only....and so i doubt, and i worry, and i fear that i've lost her.....because this time i don't think i'll ever get to the point of loving her again....it'll always be there, but i won't be able to make my self go that far for her....I don't want to lose her...but it's not my choice.....i just wish i knew who he was.....and what she feels......I wish i knew the truth, and could lose these doubts....

    okay, another song, i like it hehehe

Dream A Little Dream Of Me

Stars shining bright above you.
Night breezes seem to whisper, "I love you."
Birds singing in the sycamore trees.
Dream a little dream of me.

Say, "Nighty-night." and kiss me.
Just hold me tight, and tell me you'll miss me.
While I'm  alone and blue as can be,
Dream a little dream of me.

Stars fade, but I linger on, dear.
Still craving your kiss.
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear,
Just saying this

Sweet dreams, till sunbeams find you.
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
Dream a little dream of me.

Stars fading, but I linger on dear,
Still craving your kiss.
I'm longing to linger till dawn dear,
Just saying this:

Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Keep dreaming, leave all worries behind you.
But in your dreams, whatever they be,
You've gotta make me a promise,
Promise to me...
You'll dream, dream a little dream of me.