If that corporate slut puts any more cocks inside her she might as well fuck a train. Dear God, why would anybody take pride in being a useless whore with no education? She’s like Ashley Dupre without sex appeal or the ability to give a decent blow job... Ergh, I’ve seen that creepy sex tape, it’s like watching the incredible Hulk having an epileptic fit while taking a shit, I’ve been more aroused by Angela Lansbury’s acting in “Murder she wrote”.

Its beyond me how this bulimic scrag can be famous for glamorising stupidity, doing nothing and fucking Jews like Hitler on ecstasy… She is the poster child for why society is such an armpit, turning thousands of 14 year old mall rats into crack whores, “That’s hot”, right? Jesus, even her catch phrase sounds like something a whore would say, right after getting shot in the face with caffeine-ridden seamen by an anonymous truck driver through a glory hole.

Paris, you haggard mole, if there was such a thing as Karma, you’d be born in a basement to Josef Fritzl and your first words would be muffled by your pillow as he raped you for even thinking about recording a song. You’re like that show “Two and a half men” except Charlie Sheen fucks whores and you’re a useless cunt.

I was going to write another paragraph, but I’d rather see my dad in a bukkake video.

Yes, being here on myspace is how I imagine Hitler felt like during his last days in the bunker.

So, I'm moving here;

The Most Hated Blog in the Universe

...oh, and Patrick Swayze is dead.

"I think Ellen will b a gr8 judge on Idol. She is wildly funny, talented and I wish her the best of luck!" Bullshit, you dumb cunt, you got greedy and they fired you. Abdul, you wrinkly bag of shit, you’re more useless than Diet Coke with Bacon.

“American Idol” found her lying in a ditch next to her career and instead of being grateful for an easy job a retard could do she got full of herself. Why the fuck is she even on there? Simon does the insults, the wannabes do the “singing” and Randy is ethnic. There’s no need for Abdul to exist, she’s as irrelevant to the show as talent, and still she want’s a raise. What the Fuck?

All that nothing must be hard work if $5 million a year isn’t enough. Seriously? $13,000 a day to sit at a desk and mumble incoherent drivel isn’t enough…? What leverage does she have? Apart from a bunch of shitty infomercials and a 20 year old song where she’s upstaged by a cartoon cat the Abdul talent boat oozed more shit than an old man after a prostate exam.

Hmm, apparently if your job requires sitting at a desk and you earn less than $5 million, you’re up for a raise. Get over yourself, Abdul, you’re lucky anybody cares you’re alive.

…and you don’t wish Ellen the best of luck, you wish she had AIDS.

You ugly, child molesting, Homo. How the fuck are you even famous? You look like Rosie O’Donnell’s afterbirth had sex with Bruce Vilanch and then got pushed down the stairs. You got two things in common with Freddie Mercury, you both saw more seamen than a Vatican sex orgy and you both know what Satan’s dick tastes like. Seriously, I bet it feels great to buy a house with money from a website so gay Dan White tried to shoot it.

OK, I guess I am a little jealous, I just haven’t figured out a way of turning nonsensical dribble anybody could write into money. What’s your secret? Should I put on a 100 pounds and start taking cheap shots at celebrities? Ergh… the only thing lower than that is your white blood cell count.

You fat fucking queer, Owen Wilson’s nose is straighter than you. You whore your website like Vietnamese children and you’ve been sued more times than NAMBLA, how the fuck do you even sleep at night knowing your career is based on being an annoying fag with bad acne? You’re just like David Spade without Chris Farley, fucking useless.

All jokes aside, I hope your mum gets her legs amputated, mistakenly.

This was in response to my “Miley Cyrus is a Dumb Cunt” post (Read Below) on her myspace… I was, and still am dubious if it really was her cousin… You be the judge.

From: Dustin Riley (http://www.myspace.com/494133374)

I DONT GIVE A FUCK WHAT YOU EXCUSE IS DONT YOU DARE TALK ABOUT MY FAMILY LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!!! 10 FOLD!!!!

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Not that I actually care IF you might be family, but who exactly are you?

--------------------

i am the cousine of a girl that you were talking shit about AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH MAN I REALLY DIDNT APPRECIATE WHAT YOU SAID AND YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE TO MILEY CYRUS ON HER PAGE

--------------------

Hmm, I have to tell you I'm intrigued, firstly because you spelled the word "cousin" wrong. Secondly, because you don't appear to be whoring your myspace like someone who would be pretending to be her cousin.

I can't apologise on her myspace, but i can tell you that it’s a roast/rant. Don't worry about it too much, I don't know her, therefore how could I really hate her? It's only jokes, doesn't hurt anybody and I'm sure worse things have been said.

Good for you if you really are her cousin and you care that much.

--------------------

dude dont even get me started apologize to her for what you said like i give a fuck if i spelled something wrong listen apologize to her ok? or just delete that comment i am her cuz and i do care and no one talks like that to my family just do it ok?

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I'll apologise if Miley ask me to :)

hahaha, seriously tho, don't take this so seriously.

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i am going to you called my cousin* a cunt!!!! what the fuck is wrong with you man are you really that insecure about yourself? that you have to take it out on other people roast/rant or not that is definitly not cool and do you really expect miley to ever write you or talk to you after you said that your lucky myspace dosent delete you delete that comment than you wont ever have to worry about it again.

--------------------

Oke, I'm having a really hard time reading your replies since you don't use punctuation. I know, you don't care about it, but it just makes it that much easier to read. You see what I did there? That full stop and the question mark? There, there it is again...

Anyway, if my myspace gets deleted I'll just buy a domain so I don't have to deal with this bullshit, anyway, aren't you people Christian? Aren't you supposed to forgive me, for I know not what I'm doing?

Once again, taking this way too seriously, and you know what will take for me to apologise.

Take care.

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Dude alright i hope ur life i wish ur life becomes a living hell!!! I AM NOT A Christian i am something worse than you can imagine!!!!!!!! bye bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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A Mormon?

Good talking to you too,

Bye

If she were any more oblivious to the real world she’d adopt an Asian kid and donate to charity. Ergh…  What a waste. Miley is much like Garry Busey, retarded. She say’s she’s a role model… What the fuck? She’s barely qualified to insert a tampon. Sure I’m bitter, but not because she’s rich, it’s because a pimply teenage chode is saying “Life is all about having a good time” while the rest of us struggle to pay bills, it’s like being slapped in the face with John McCain’s ball sack. How about attributing your success to uneducated hillbillies who bought your dads shitty music? That and random fucking luck, you cunt.

How the fuck are you even a role model? You sat in your dads’ car while he drove you to an audition for Hannah Montana. You did what Corky from “Life Goes On” could do; read and repeat what you read. Didn’t get that reference? That’s because you’re one year older then John Bobbit’s dick.

Miley, you’re like religion, you give false hope to morons with disposable income. You don’t inspire your fans, you give them a warped view of reality and mislead them to believe they can afford your lifestyle. $250 for a ticket? Seriously? Next time you’re buying a dolphin remember where the money came from; a bunch of poor sobs stacking Wal-Mart shelves with your crappy album so their kids can see you dry hump a strip poll.

Miley’s reality; “Anyone can succeed if they believe in themselves”

Actual reality; “At any given time there’s a million people who can do anything much better than you, 100,000 of these people are much better looking then you, and 10,000 of these people probably have the same name as you. You’re not special, I’m not special, and if you realise you’re not special, that still doesn’t make you special. You, just like me, are a tiny sperm in a pool of corporate jizz.”

A tip for the future, Miley… “Which way to Betty Ford?”



Go read some of my other posts.... if you still don't think im not an idiot..... if you do think im an idiot - go fuck yourself.

If you were holding your breath waiting for an update, chances are you’re dead. Hmm, probably for the best if you really care what I think… Then again, if you continued breathing normally while waiting for an update, you’re in luck. Well, kind of.

Due to popular misconception that I spent the past 3 months masturbating vigorously while choking myself with a belt I felt the need to step in and set everything straight…. So here it is. Yes, I do asphyxiate myself erotically, however, this was not the reason for my lack of updates.

I have successfully completed a community radio course and will now be able to broadcast live to whoever the fuck listens to community radio… probably the same number of people that read my articles.

So, how will this change affect me? You may ask yourself. Can I finally make out with my step mum? Well, the answer is; sure, go for it, but that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.

Now, for some strange reason public radio abides by something called “censorship”, which consists of “rules”, “regulations” and “standards”… things of which I know nothing about. This “censorship” is somehow supposed to protect the public from what is considered morally or politically incorrect…. You know, kind of what Hitler asked Joseph Gerbils to do for Nazi Germany.

Anyways, this suck for me as discussing the possibility of feeding starving Africans with aborted fetuses might fall under the category of “morally wrong”. Why? I have no idea, but this means that anything I can’t say live on radio will find its way here, uncensored, just like God intended.

Stay tuned, I will be back.

No, I’m still not dead, just busy having a life… and yes, I’d rather be in a wheelchair, connected to a colostomy bag, writing crappy articles with a stick in my mouth. It’d be great. People would come visit, give sympathy and feel pity. Pity is good, very underestimated, much easier to get pity then to accomplish something.

When you’re in a wheelchair people give you pity, but they also respect you, they move out of your way in shopping malls, you get no looks of condemnation for using disabled toilets, its easy to find parking and best of all no one asks for any favors.

As I’m writing this my girlfriend asked me to drive her into the city to pick up contact lenses… into the city, right in the fucking center because that’s where her optometrist is. Tomorrow morning, it’s 7pm and she tells me now, no notice, no nothing… what a stupid bitch. Does she even need to see? Its not like she reads, she doesn’t drive… and I have to do this on a Saturday… stupid bitch.

I hate driving to the city, people are much angrier there. Going to the city is like driving to work in rush hour, not knowing if you’ll ever find an overpriced parking space and eventually finding yourself bouncing off morons like a pinball trying to avoid puddles of vomit and homeless bums… gum on the sidewalk, crazy schizophrenics quoting the bible, smell of shit in the air… Yes, the city center is a septic tank and I fucking hate it.

…I’m not making this up, its not like this happened a month ago and I thought it would contrast well with my point, its constant, this is what life is like for able bodied people. It sucks, never in a million years would I have to do this if I were in a wheelchair.

Nobody asks a cripple for a favor, its like saying you’re too lazy to use your legs. “Hey, Iron Chair, roll yourself across the street and pick me up some aspirin. This headache is really inconveniencing my life.”

Seriously, what is the downside of being crippled? I’d rather sit then stand, I haven’t had to run anywhere since I was ten, I hate when my shoes wear out, I simply dislike having to walk… anywhere… It’s too overrated. So, to any cripple reading this, you don’t realise just how fucking lucky you are, you crippled bastard… and I’ll keep using your crippled toilet anyway.



Go read some of my other posts.... if you still don't think im not an idiot..... if you do think im an idiot - go fuck yourself.

You’re the 9,999th visitor… or something close.

So let’s grab a hot cup of coco, sit back and reminisce about the past 7 months. We’ll braid our hair and share our deepest thoughts, feelings and personal reflections.

Actually, lets not. I was drunk most the time… all the time and have little or no recollection of pretty much anything.

Update coming soon.

Here's my cartoon if you haven't seen it... Pulp Fiction

Go read some of my other posts.... if you still don't think im not an idiot..... if you do think im an idiot - go fuck yourself.

‘Twas the night before Christmas when little Pebbles sat in snow,
he sat there alone, he sat near a stone, barely awake he stared at a lake.
There was something he wanted to know as he spoke rather low.

“Santa, why is it that on Christmas day all other kids get new toys and eat hot meals, while I eat spam and dig for lead?” Pebbles said as he bowed down his head.  

He looked rather meek, but it wasn’t all bleak, as what happened next was rather unique,
a tear ran down, ran down his left cheek
and landed right into the frozen creek.

Something truly magical was to happen that day,
when to his dismay he saw a red sleigh, as he begun walking away.

There’s Dasher and Donner and Cupid and Dancer,
There’s Vixen and Blitzen and Rudolph and Prancer.

He saw them all, he saw them all land, as a uniformed man raised his right hand.
He clicked his heels hard, he called out a command
and so the red sleigh came to a stand

“Wh- who are you?” Pebbles stuttered.

“Who am I? Why, little boy, I am the Ghost of Christmas past.” He replied very fast.

“You’re not the Ghost of Christmas past…” Pebbles uttered. “You’re Adolf Hitler.”

“Oww, dear boy, don’t be frightened, the schoolz have taught you wrong. Little boy, I hear what you say and I agree. Is it really fair you dig for lead to keep your quadriplegic brain dead mother warm while your father’s fletching men at gay saunas?”

“My father isn’t gay!” Pebbles protested. “He’s got flaky skin, it needs to be moisturized and Glory-Hole Bathhouse has the best masseurs. It’s true!”

“Ohh please, little boy, your father swallowed more seamen then Conan O’Brien.”

“He has vitamin “A” deficiency, it’s hereditary and…” And so Little Pebbles argued even tho he knew his father had more cocks inside him then a public urinal…

“Hey, what did you just say about my dad!?”

“I said your dads ass is loose”

“No, not that, and I told you he suffers from disturbance of colon closure. I mean who just said, “I knew my father had more cocks inside him then a public urinal?” Pebbles asked impatiently.

“There! There it is again, who just said that!?”

The Ghost of Christmas past gave Little Pebbles a confused stare “Little boy, I’m probably just an imaginary voice resulting from your undiagnosed schizophrenia, but lets deal with one crazy at a time.”

“Stop it! I’m not crazy! What do you want?!”

“Come closer, little Pebbles, I will whisper you the solution to your qwestion… tomorrow on Christmas day you’ll have all the new toys you want!”

Pebbles listened carefully to what the ghost said,
The following morning he ate spam on bread.

“Sparkle, sparkle!” Said Pebbles’s extremely gay father as he waltzed in the kitchen.

“He’s not gay” Pebbles mumbled.

“What was that?” asked the anal astronaut.

“Nothing, I said I like Fey, Tina Fey”

“Ah, yes… me too. I say, Pebbles, come sit on my lap, let me give you a back rub”

“That’s ok, I should go check mums colostomy bag and wipe her wheels”

“Oh, forget that cripple, your mother’s in the tub, she’s listening to the radio. Here, sit down…” he said and firmly placed Pebbles on his lap.

“Oooh, Pebbles, you’ve gotten big, your shoulders feel so broad and strong, I feel like I should be the one sitting on your lap”

“Well, I have been working overtime at the mine and…”

“Yeah, that sounds fabulous, anyway, Pebbles, remember on your birthday your friend Scott… you know, the one who asked for seconds of the penis cake, do you think he’s double jointed?”

“I’m not really sure, dad”

“Yeah, about that… I’m not your real dad, Pebbles”

“What!?” Screamed Pebbles as he jumped off his not real dad’s lap.

“It’s not easy to say, Pebbles… your mother was a whore …”

And so it was that everyone rejoiced and Little Pebbles finally found out his mother was a whore.

                                                             THE END

“Wait, what!? What do you mean “The end”? What about the Ghost of Christmas Past? What about the tear? You said something truly magical would happen. This story makes no sense. It has no transition or cohesion… or resolution… This is just lazy writing.”

And so it was that everyone rejoiced, except for Little Pebbles who died of pneumonia shortly after.

                                                              THE END

Here's my cartoon if you haven't seen it... Pulp Fiction

Go read some of my other posts.... if you still don't think im not an idiot..... if you do think im an idiot - go fuck yourself.

If you were waiting for an update, chances are you may be gay... sure there's nothing wrong with wanting to lick another mans asshole while tickling his balls from behind... let's face it, we all had homosexual fantasies at some point...

Pouring hot wax on your lovers balls, punching him in the stomach... even fletching might sound like fun, but next time you're gobbling down a mystery cock through a glory hole at a roadside rest room, be careful, a bucket of AIDS is the last thing you want.

Albert Einstein once said "Deep down inside, we are all whores" however, being a man whore is slightly worse then being a regular crack whore.

Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Update not coming soon as I just got back to my mother country and need rest... in the mean time you can treat my blog as a chain letter... if you don't send this link to 8 of your friends by 8pm tomorrow, napalm will drop on your house... if you do send it to 8 people by 8pm tomorrow, napalm will drop on Steven Baldwins house.