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I'm back and ironically its like nothing much has changed. Needless to say my surprise arrival in church today was a smash success as everyone gasped and rushed to hug me in the middle of church. Feels good to be back so far.

Yes, its too warm and my stomach can't handle the food again but I'm sure I will get used to it. I'm home. Never thought I would actually be though. I guess that why it is good that I left in such a flurry and didn't have time to ponder or think until I was in the plane. Everything is different now. Just need to figure out how.

So in case you're wondering, I didn't actually stop blogging per se. I just moved to a more user friendly blog where my friends could actually post and stuff.

Go visit it at http://retrodiction.pitas.com

Adios peeps. Feel free to tag on that blog as my life in dreary Singapore continues.

Its my last day here. After this, its back home to the rat race I thought was life. I don't know why I'm so afraid but I am. I am actually scared to come home. All day there has been weird queasy feeling in my tummy. Is it all the excitement of finally going home and seeing my family? Am I scared to realise that all that has happened was a dream? Or am I suddenly realising that too much has changed.

I hate to say this but I don't want to take that plane home but I must. Its the inevitable end that has to come. At least I should be comforted with the fact that its a world class airline. :)

Disneyland was great! Really made me feel like a kid all over again! I actually took pictures with Mickey Mouse, Cinderella, Mulan etc. Couldn't believe I was technically legally an adult but yet in my heart I was still a kid. Will I ever grow up? Or maybe the question really should be if I do want to grow up! :)

Johnson's friends are picking him up for their seminar at San Diego this weekend. Sure gona miss that lad.

Isn't it nice to just laze around and watch tv all day? Time still passes so fast and you enjoy yourself. Rach and Johnson are asleep as I type this. Yea, we wake up at around noon nowadays. Rach finally came over this morning after all the mellowdramatic crying and stuff. Sometimes its as easy as picking up your bags and leaving.

I guess now I know why women stay with abusive and vile men. They are just not woman enough.

Finally in LA at Christina and Michelle's place. Don't think I'm gona be moving anywhere after this. So glad to have family around eventhough I'm miles away from home. Well I'm gona be real lazy today and laze in my pyjamas and wrap presents all day. haha

I'm on Vegas bitches!! Phew do my legs ache. So much walking but it was really worth it to see the different hotels and all the sights. Caesar's palace was AMAZING! Talk about opulence and Roman grandeur. MGM actually had a real lion den! Oh and I finally saw the legendary Luxor. Sometimes it just feels so surreal. All my travels these past 4 months are like a dream come true. Like simple photographs, movies and book I read and watched are now places I can actually attribute a personal memory too.

Surprisingly, I didn't gamble. Johnson was a real wet blanket with stuff like that. Well at least he's right. His vote to stay in the $25 per night hotel was brilliant cuz the Sahara is really amazing. Wonder why its so cheap! Well its not like I saved the money cuz I just blew like $180 at Abercrombie. I'm such an Abercrombie and Victoria's Secret junkie. I swear I have spent close to $500 in those places alone.

Well off to bed now. So tired that my legs can't even keep themselves up. Gota wake up early to dye my hair tmr. Hope it works out!

I think I need to remind myself that this is not home. I remember the beginning of the quarter when I felt so alone because Rachel, Leonard and Johnson were all the way on campus whilst I lived off campus. I remember how they would go off to do their own thing or have their own friends and all I would do was sit at home and channel surf on the googlebox. I remember how Jamie would always be in dance class or rehearsal, June would be studying and Yuka would be off somewhere. I remember just sitting on my couch, procrastinating over my work and wishing I was back home and I could just pick up the phone and call a friend to meet for a meal or a night out on the town. I remember missing Singapore or at least my friends and family.

Then by Week 2, everything changed. I met people, exchanged contact information, partied with random people and before I knew it, I had this whole other life going. I don't remember missing home anymore. I don't remember wanting my own single room as I soon grew to love rooming with Jamie and sharing a house with Yuka and June. I was no longer resentful of the fact that I lived so far away from the other Singaporeans. In fact, I stopped missing home at all. In fact, I made myself a new home, new friends and a new goal.

To me its like a miracle. How in just a short span of four months, I created a whole new life for myself. I built a life for myself that I took 20 years to build back in Singapore and quite frankly I like this life alot better. I don't think I'm quite as ready yet to go home but I know that too much of a good thing is never good for you. Perhaps I had to take this journey to learn about myself and what I really was meant for. I still don't know my purpose but somewhere deep inside me I know its gona be known when I get back home.

For that my friends, I'm coming home.

(Maybe its the noise of Alex's Xbox games that is making me all philosphical but I really feel so melancholic lately although I'm still generally upbeat. Sheesh.)

Just booked my accomadation and train to Vegas. Rachel backed out (again) from the trip. Oh well I guess she does have valid reasons.

Have you ever just stopped to wonder how different two worlds, two countries or two people can be? Or yet alone, how similiar they can be? Everytime I travel, I think about why my life is the way it is and not moving anywhere. Why do I limit myself to boundaries that others dictate to me? What's the point of affiliations when all they do is disappoint you? Oh well.

I'm headed to Vegas baby. No time to waste on idle thought.

Lindsey just left for England.

I just got two of my grades. Amazing how I barely even put much effort into stuff here and I get the same grades as I do back home.

Guess I'm just not jubiliant about stuff but its nothing too bad either.

I miss Lindsey, Simon, James and everyone else I can't type into one line.

I need retail theraphy. 

One whole bottle of Zinfandel and a beer later and I'm still sober. Haha Guess that is another good thing about my SEP experience: an increased alcohol tolerance when it was already too high to begin with.

Alex was sweet enough to offer to drive Johnson and I down to the Amtrak station at 6.45am on Sun morning for us to catch our train to Vegas. He's so sweet. Well I should get to bed. Nite! :)