Just a little warning . . . If you are mean to my friends, I will delete you as a friend and I will take every opportunity to humiliate you. If you think I am bluffing, just ask Bob Fulton . . . . big mistake!

I love Nip/Tuck . . . but it is very bad for my soul . . . but very good for my entertainment. I'm in a bind, and I think someone should start a support group stat!

Really, making us happy is so simple, but some of you have yet to figure it out. 1. The Phone: just call at least once a day. Let us know how you are, say I love you, or just say hi, but bottomline . . . just call. We want to know that you are alive, and we want to know that you will take a minute out of your day to just focus your attention on us. But please remember, just call. 2. Holidays: you better see us on the holidays, and if our families invite you, you better make an attempt to see our families. If you are busy with your own family . . . that is fine, but recognize that we may value our family, and we expect you to value our family as well. But bottomline, just try . . . make an appearance, or it just eat some food; we are not asking you to start a conversation with our uncles, but at least try to be there . . . just try. 3. Driving: stop telling us that we are bad drivers, just be quiet. That curb that we almost hit; it doesn't need to be brought up. That stop sign where we barely paused; just ignore it. That driver that was in our blind spot; remember that it is his own fault for choosing to be in that exact position. But bottomline, just let it go. We know that you consider yourself superior when it comes to the road, but please, just let it go. And most importantly, buckle up and shut up. 4. MySpace: do not, by any means, flirt over myspace. We will find out, and we will be pissed. It just isn't right. If you are tempted to leave a cute comment, or send a sweet message to another girl besides your own, just don't. Also, don't be dumb enough to allow your friend to post an inappropiate picture with you and another girl. Bottomline, we will find out, and we will start to flirt with others guys just to piss you off. 5. Car models, porn, strippers, etc: it's great that your buddy may date girls that fall into this line of business, but that doesn't mean, by any chance, that you have that same opportunity. So stop helping him with a photo shoot, stop "critiquing" the photos, stop participating in a culture where it is acceptable to sell someone's soul. Bottomline, you have a girl who can keep her clothes on and prove her womanhood at the same time. It's a genius concept . . . really . . . so please, just accept it. 6. The Radio: we listen to your music, so let us listen to ours. Once in awhile, we may like to hear a little Bette Midler, a little Elton, a little Madonna, and God forbid, maybe even a little country. We often listen to your angry music without plugging our ears, so try to make it through one song of ours without making a gagging face or a gagging noise. It's just not appealing, really, it's not. Just don't gag, please, just don't gag. 7. Chivalry: yes, chivalry is dying. But let it die in other relationships; not in your own. Open the door, pay for the dinner, and just be a gentleman. Even if you have been going out for many months or even many years, still ask us out on a date. It makes us feel special and wanted, and it really is so simple. Bottomline, just be a gentleman, and if you forget how to be a gentleman, then just watch Colin Firth in Bridget Jones's Diary 2. 8. I LOVE YOU: if you have reached a point in your relationship where these words have been shared, then say them freely. Don't give the b.s. line that they mean more when they are said less often. That is a load of horsecrap. These words are beautiful, and if you really mean it, then they should never lose their value. Bottomline, in a committed relationship, don't use these words sparingly. Yes, we know you love us even if you don't say it all the time, but it is so pleasant to hear. So, just say it . . . please, just say it. 9. Pussy: don't say it, please just don't say it. We can say it. Why you may ask? Because we have one idiot. Really, I'm sure you won't disagree when I say that it is a beautiful thing; therefore, it should not be used as a condescending remark for one of your weak friends. Bottomline, it is our turf, and if you are lucky, then you should know that it is anything but weak. 10. Swingers: Yes, none of us will deny that the movie Swingers was outstanding. However, trust us when we say that we saw the movie; thus, you don't need to repeat each line every day. Dollar bills and coins are money . . . not your friend's suit. Yes, that line was cute the first few times you said it, but bottomline, you are not Vince Vaughn, you are not a swinger, and you are not "money". 11/ 27/ 04 (2 pm) O.K. forgive me as I swallow my pride. Well, apparently my boyfriend and his friend misunderstood my blog. So, let's clear up a few things. The first bulletin that I posted, was not my poem, and it was not an attempt to call anyone out. Honestly, I thought it was cute, it was sent to me by another friend, and I wanted to post it for all the ladies to read. As far as my blog goes, I admit that I crossed the line. Though it was funny and somewhat true, I should not have posted it and I recognize my error. It was not a way for me to call out my boyfriend even though I was upset with him, but it was a posting for all boyfriends to read. Now, to redeem myself for crossing that MySpace line, I met up with my boyfriend, I brought him a dozen long-stemmed roses, and I read the following. Reasons why I am lucky that Anthony Anderson is my boyfriend: 1. Honesty: yes, it is the best policy. Whether it is my poncho or my green pants, I can count on you being truthful with me. I know that when you say I am beautiful, you really mean that I am beautiful. 2. Support: my family is very overprotective whether it is in my best interest or not, you; on the otherhand, always have my best interest in mind. You have opened up my ideas, my concepts, and my thoughts, and you have allowed me to look at myself in a different light . . . an independent light. 3. Intelligence: thank God that you are not a dumb jock. You are so bright, so articulate, and I love the conversations that I have with you. Your mind is so unique, and I love the way that it functions. Your thinking capacity operates on a completely different level than others; and I think that you are absolutely brilliant. 4. Spirituality: you have such a deep faith. I feel so lucky that I get to pray with you. Though you may doubt your abilities at times, I know that so many teens look to you as an example. You are not afraid to display your faith, and you are a strong, Catholic man. 5. Fun Factor: not a moment has gone by in our relationship (except maybe once or twice), where I have been bored. You are exciting, daring, and you are always up for causing trouble. Plus, you are hysterical, and you always have a way for making me laugh. 6. Driving: though it is hard to admit, you are an excellent driver, and I love being your passenger. I will never grow tired of perdiddles or dark, vacant parking lots, and I love looking at you while you drive and sing along to the radio. Also, I am so happy that you buckle up because I want your face to be safe . . . I think it's nice to look at. 7. Women: you never doubt the power and beauty of women. You respect us, you admire us, and you know that we are a powerful force, and you should know that many of us respect you in return. 8. Hugs: by far, without a doubt, you are the best hug giver that I have ever met aned will probably ever meet. From the second that your arms wrapped around me, I felt safe, I felt secure, and I knew that I never wanted to leave your embrace. 9. Me: you handle me so well. I can be arrogant, stubborn, and sometimes a little bit mean, but you are somehow able to find the good in me. I am so thankful that you look past my negative attributes and recognize me as a beautiful, intelligent, and strong young woman. 10. I LOVE YOU: as far as romance goes, you are the only man tht I have ever shared these words with. You mean a great deal to me, and the bottomline is, I love you. Now, we have reached ten reasons why I am luck that Anthony Anderson is my boyfriend. You better believe that there are many more (his hair, his touch, his kisses, his taste in music, and he keeps things interesting over and over and over), but I have to stop somewhere because time is money, and so is he.