My son really likes to listen to Linkin Park.  Last weekend we were listening to their live album together.  I told him that many of their songs sound like songs of repentance to me.  I told him that I could easily rewrite the lyrics to Numb and make them into a Christian song.  He thought that was an insulting comment.  I didn't change it much so that it wouldn't bother him too much but it would also make him think about it. 

I think he likes this song because he feels like we are trying to fit him into the mold of Christianity and he feels forced into our lifestyle.  What he doesn't realize is that every good parent wants their kids to be civilized and obey the law even if they are not Christians.  The only real changes a made were to address the end of the song to Jesus and change the focus into repentance rather than rebellion.  It was pretty simple.  Tell me what you think.

Numb Redeemed

to other people:

I am still in shock from a phone call my brother Dave made to me last Monday night.  He shared the horrible news of my brother-in-law Greg's death with me.  Greg was apparently very healthy, but one minute he was here, the next moment he was gone.

The next day on my lunch hour I had to share this devastating news with my son on the telephone.  Josh lives over an hour away so I couldn't hug him while I told him about what happened, I wasn't even sure what events had occurred yet myself.  I thought it would go ok because Josh was never very close to the adults in our family, he spends time with the other kids at our family gatherings more often than not.  To my amazement he was pretty shook up.  Imagine how frustrating it was to know that I couldn't truly comfort him at that time.  My only option was to ask his counselor, Ben, to be there for him as I headed back to work.

Before I hung up the phone I did remind Josh that we never know when we will breathe our last breath.  After that it is too late to choose to be a follower of Jesus or not.  Now is the time to choose Christ, tomorrow may never come. 

A few months ago I had the opportunity to witness to Greg's friend, Jerry at my sister's house.  The conversation was very offensive to Greg and he cut me off.  Hopefully someone else was able to share more with Greg before April 20th.  I know my brother Glen brings it up often at family gatherings too.  He even mentioned it at the funeral service when he spoke to the mourners gathered there.  I am grateful he did because the minister that led the service did not.  She just barely knows my sister and her kids and she never met Greg so I guess she didn't know how to approach the subject.

Please pray for Jerry as he faces life without his best friend.  I was hoping to share more with him at the dinner following the funeral but his wife monopolized that conversation.  It was an obvious distraction from the enemy of Jerry's soul to keep him from receiving the truth, but I am not done praying for Jerry's salvation.  Jerry's wife is the first person in my life that has questioned my decision to cooperate with my husband and send our son to boarding school.  I have no doubt that some of my friends and family did not agree with us but they either supported our decision or kept quiet about it.  On Friday it literally felt like I was being attacked for doing the right thing.  It is very difficult to take him back "home" after each of his monthly visits but I have seen tremendous changes in my son.  I believe that if we tough it out (with God's help of course) and help him finish the program at Salem Ranch we will all be better for it.

There is another thing I want to say here.  Relationships with other people are too important to waste time on petty differences.  For years I have have been friendly with Greg but I also kept him at arms length.  I would literally stick my arm out sometimes to keep him at a comfortable distance from me.  The last time I saw him we had a pleasant, healing conversation that ended with a hug.  I'll never regret that attempt to make things right with him. 

I have been making a lot of effort to heal all of the relationships in my life over the last few months thanks to Ben and my teacher, Preston Ade.  Someone on the outside looking in would probably think I had a terminal illness or something but that is not it.  God is healing me emotionally and I am not allowing circumstances to rule my life anymore.  His Word is transforming my life even though the things around me are not improving much...in fact they seem pretty dismal at the moment. 

It seems like death is surrounding me like a cloud.  On a recent rough day I've warned friends that they need to keep their distance before tragedy strikes them too.  Of course that isn't true but it feels that way sometimes.  It reminds of Hurley on LOST.  He thought that the numbers he won the lottery with were bad luck.  He tried to keep others at a distance so they wouldn't be hurt by those numbers.  Eventually he found a van and got a group of men to help him get it running.  It is probably my favorite episode because it was so light hearted.  If you watch the show you know that is often very dark and intense.  Hurley had a project to distract him and he felt like he broke the curse of the numbers by choosing to have a fun day.  Later Hurley became a hero when he used the van to rescue some friends.  Like Hurley, I can use the bad circumstances in life and turn them into something good.  But the reality is this:  without God we are just working out things in our own flesh.  With Him we can accomplish eternal things for His kingdom.