So it's that time of year again and off to sea I go. Where to this time...? Well I'll tell ya. The wide open spaces of the Pacific Remote Islands aka the middle of nowhere. You've probably never heard of them and unless you use google earth to look them up you won't know much else about them. We left aboard our 250' research vessel the Hi'ialakai with 22 scientists and 24 ships crew in destination to remote coral reef environments that need our monitoring and research in order to survive... or well at least to be looked at and we check out amazing reefs. I'll be chasing big fish and counting them- god I love my job! We'll be gone until April but will have internet until then so keep in touch as it can get incredibly boring during transit time. Screw you Jeff Probst. And if you're really interested in partying you can meet us at our in-ports in American Samoa (write for days)

Later Kids.

The Islands we'll be at are:

Johnston Atoll

Howland and Baker Islands

American Samoa (Tutuilla, Manua Islands, Swain's, Rose Atoll)

Jarvis Island

Palmyra Atoll

Kingman Reef

Well it's that time of year for me again. I'll be heading out to sea for my 'field' season. For those who know it'll be about six weeks and for those who don't- I work as a diver for the Coral Reef Ecosystems Division of NOAA. We conduct many different research areas of the US reefs in the Pacific. These trips will be of the Main Hawaiian Islands...

and later of the North West Hawaiian Islands (the area Bush just made into a Monument). Primarily at Pearl & Hermes Atoll ( the same place I was shipwrecked on- seriously) and Kure Atoll.

I live off a large support vessel (~250 ft) that can deploy our smaller work vessels (19 ft). I'll be able to keep in touch with shiboard emails to some but will be out of touch with everyone else until sept 14th. So enjoy the rest of your summer and i'll be back soon. Take care and give me plenty to read for when I get home.

Dear 'Project Monkey' wannabees!!

You are not original unique snowflakes nor original unique polar dihydrogen oxide molecules crystalizing at set temperatures during free fall to form a solid structure from a stabley volatile liquid. Your just an insignificant creation of my laborious subconcious inner primian self.

The Legend began several fateful years ago when the creation of an intramural coed kickass soccer team was formed with the badest of skills and sexiest of kickers joining forces in the smallest of middlesized pretentious cities known as Erie, PA. There was only one problem, how could you unite this gargantuan ball of sexiness and studliness? With a name... a name above all other names that held so much power within it that all shall tremble and realize it's awesomeness. The name took over everyone and became an institution and then a way of life and then a small convient store clerk named Abdul in Chincoteague Virginia and then back to an institution and finally settling down as premier way of life. The name had several bastard children born to it but accepted them and their concepts but was always willing to give the beat down when one thought they were greater than they really were. And all was good with the name and T-shirts were made and copycats and divulgences of course occurred but the principle and name held true and fought to carry it's meaning and message of superioity and influence to far reaches of the Pacific Ocean with the names nah creator but mere prophet. The name lay dormant in the prophet until suitable impressionable beings could be found to carry on the message and without finding any the name came to several hopefuls who were chosen for there DJ status and abilities or lack there of. The name and copyrighted franchise image allowed these sultans of blik snap to carry on the true meaning of itself: good times, good fun, mellow moods, great sports, occasional acts of terrorism (not affiliated with destruction but creation only), and most importantly a realization that you are not the name but it's servant and to believe you can incorporate more will cause a wrath unheard of since the olden times of an eye for eye, blood raining down from the skies and primates left astrewn. The Name oh the precious name constitutes the main principle:

SMOKING MONKEYS  

There is nothing funnier than a smoking monkey!

No go forth and be fruitfull and carry the message to your sect or else.

Now lets all be good little monkeys or else the creator will come back!

I don't have refridgerator magnets so I post my achievements on myspace. We made the paper again! Second race and again we won Novice B but this time it was the men's division not mixed. It seems as though our club- the Waikiki Beach Boys and Girls are going to kick ass this year! So here again is another Lino in the paper and it's not for the EMW (Erie's Most Wanted)! Yeah! Hey Eric can I get those pics and get ready for next weekend and the long distance Haliewa Race!

PADDLING

PADDLING

For those who were in on it , those invited and the rest of ya'll (you might have been invited- eventually)... the official resurrection of the BK's BeerBQ has been postponed! Due to a lack of financial standing and responsibility upon the host's part. Yes there will be ribs and lord you can almost taste them, but the new date of said event shall be: JULY 4TH 2006. Those reading this and wishing to attend the festival of palletable delight shall be responsible to keep on said party-givers ass in order for the tastyness that beats all others ribs to come back to our lips. Again I apologize and will remedy the situation by supplying the first keg! Peace in the East

I'm trying to get this guy to be there.

Kevin
(aka BK! if you didn't know already...  well your ass better call somebody!!!!!)

The remarks about Tom Cruise has inspired a search for the greatest 'little peole' athlethes and sporting events. I really do admire these guys. I'm 6'5'' and wish I had half the athletic ability they do. If your offended by the term 'midget' I apologize but that's what most of these were found under so stop being so freakin PC. I'm the Timmothy Treadwell of Midget fans. Little people rule! 

Midget Basketball- This one should be on ESPN 8 the ocho!

The worst part about this event is the fact that they're 1/8th my size but they can come closer to dunking that I can.

Midget Wrestling rocks!

Who hasn't seen such a great event? If you think these guys can't hold their own challange em. I dare you... but make sure your people are there cause you've gotta have a witness. I think Tom Cruise should star as a wrestler in his next movie.

Midget Sports Fan- This is what I'd look like if I were a little person. Not everyone can make the team but the fans are what makes the game. Here's a frost cold miller light to you my friend.

I'm fairly certain Greg Gumble is a little person. Just think about it...

Midget -insert comment-

Oh God I'm going to hell but this one is my favorite. Just be glad I didn't use the original caption. I don't think i'll ever use a laundromat again, i'm so afraid this will happen to me.

Midget Tossing- Safety First!

I can't believe there's pictures out there like this. It's so wrong but I think with the right teammate I could make the olympics... let me know when your ready to start training Jaime.

Midget Soccer- Sure they're just kids, or are they?

If you think i'm being insensitive just realize that my brother is a little person. He's the one on the right. Sure we look just like kids but I was 8 and he's 22 in this picture, sorry Kyle the truth is out. This is for all the shit I got growing up especially the time...

Mini-Kiss

You have to rock out when playing sports, and there's no better way than to do it with a much better version of one of rock's legendary bands- actually I don't like Kiss. Actually I think I've used 'rock' in every context possible this Blog.

Weeman-Gets the award 4 most BADASS midget!

This guy does it all- skateboard, extreme sports and homoeroneous acts. Is most  famous for using his stature to get beat to shit on Jackass. Most importantly his guest appearances on Wildboys has given him this title. Anyone his size willing to fuck around with animals that really do want and could eat him gets made props.

SHOUT OUTS- here's some honorable mentions for deserving little people

The guy who played Miles Finch in ELF for lines like this: "Hey, jackweed, I get more action in a week than you've had your entire life. I've got houses in LA, Paris, and Vail... each one of them with a 70-inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and smack it off! You feelin' strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time." It takes a true athlete to take out comedies Will Farell.

http://www.gotwavs.com/0058493028/MP3S/Movies/Elf/onemoretime.mp3

Vern Troyer for being one of the richest little people in the business. His only downfall was for the Surreal life. Not for being on it but for not hooking up with Chyna Doll. Come on you know that's a hollywood couple if you've ever seen one. He could hold his own too, he works hard in those Austin Powers fight scene. 

Warwick Davis

He is one of my favorite actors. Willow, Leprachaun, Hitch Hiker's Guide, and countless other classic movies. This guy rocks, yeah I used it again, despite he's not an athlete but  for the name alone.

Now the #1 Little Person

He's not the stereotypical athlete out there, he's not 'legally' a midget, he's got more spunk, attitude and class than any other little person I've met!