Number of papers I've written on werewolves while attending grad school: 1

Number of conferences at which I presented a paper on werewolves: 1

Number of times I've dreamed of my papers eating me: 2

Number of all-nighters I've pulled while attending grad school: 2

 ..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

Number of times I turned into a werewolf while attending grad school: .5

Number of times I wished I had: 9

 

Number of unicorn tattoos I have on my person: 0

Number of times a student has given me an origami unicorn because I drew a unicorn in my "Sea of Detail" for the "Mountain and the Sea" 101 lesson plan: 1

Number of times unicorn paraphernalia was showered on me by fellow graduate students after this incident: 4

Number of times I critiqued the sociocultural functionality of unicorns while attending graduate school: 3

Number of real unicorns I've seen while attending graduate school: 2

Percentage of real unicorns I've seen that are actually mutant deer: 100%

Percentage of times these visions have been facilitated by fellow graduate students: 100%

 

Percentage of graduate students excited to start school at the start of Fall quarter: 100%

Percentage of graduate students excited to start school at the start of Spring quarter: 50%

Number of dress-up days instigated by graduate students and Cathy and Donna: 3

Odds an incriminating photo of a graduate student in a pink crochet hat will end up on the internet: 1:10

Odds an incriminating photo of a graduate student will be found by his or her 101 students: 1:7

Odds that this incident will increase his or her standing among these students: 1:3

 

Percentage of graduate students who dabble in insanity while attending school: 110%

Percentage of graduate students who question their decision to attend school at some point during the first year: 120%

Percentage of graduate students who actually go insane during the first year: 2%

Percentage of insane graduate students hidden from detection by fellow graduate students: %5

For those who don't know...

...I am now officially a grad student at WWU in Bellingham now! I have alternated between fear, excitement, and a great frustration for even the tenuous internet existence of my parents dinosaur of a computer (i.e. I don't have internet at my apt. yet). But I will be trying to plan some sort of house warming soon (though my schedule starts to get crazy as of next week) and I will be down in Arlington this weekend to pick up more of my stuff (sorry, Mel, I though when you didn't get back to me on sat. that you weren't coming sunday!) and go to Raine's baby shower. I will fill u in on my escapades since you saw me last!

i know the secret of life, but my computer ate it. i could type it again, but where's the inspiration in that? it involved free choice, Job, Teletubbies, and brownies, but i guess the universe does not want me to impart it today.

I call Karma on you who stole the CD changer out of the trunk of my car!! I curse your measly, tapeworm-infested, guinea pig-raping, Bob the-thong-wearing-crackhead's cum bathing, syphalitic hump-backed cockroach eating ass!! May your balls shrivel to six-year-old-raisins and every pussy you tap from this day forth make your dick feel as if it is caught in sandpaper-lined giant serrated nail-clippers and every beer you drink taste of liver-eating dog flatulence and orange juice mixed with toothpaste!!

I want 'em raw! Nothing more dissappointing than thinking "yum" and getting smoky or stale beer ick in my mouth. Please, i know for several subcultures its "cool", but it only tastes okay if the chick smokes too (or is too drunk to notice). I want to taste THEM! I want to know its me they want, not beer goggles seeting strictly "female" or even "hot chick" or "hot hippie" or "hot indie" or "hot goth" or "hot prep" or "hot cowgirl" or worst of all "hot ho." Blah! its still weird to me to even be in the "cute" category (sometimes) since the first time that compliment was paid to me was my freshman year of college. You gotta want the inside as well as the out (yes, i sound like your mother) cause when i want a guy (and those are few and far between) I want ALL of him. The taste, the smell, the movement, the look, the voice and words. Cowboy or hippie or goth or punk or prep or indie i don't care, cause i like and respect them all for their lifestyle choices (though if htey can be comfortable in several lifestyles thats a big bonus and, i think, a deal maker). So, because when i want i want it all, if a guy wants me i have to know if they can like/respect/want all of me. like my dog and horses do, like my close gal friends do, like (most) of my family do. Not perfection, just a complement (and yes, that's complement with an "e" as in "other piece").

wow, that was sappy!

Ok, the randomness of my life that makes it all worthwhile...

I went out our backdoor to be a lizard and sun myself on the deck (ok, picture wooden slat deck floor, closed in walkway between BBQ grill and table before i can reach the cheerfully placed deck furniture; and me, the vulnerable heroine in very little clothing and bare feet with not weapons or knights to speak of handy). When low and behold, lurking under the table and just waiting for me to walk passed it was the biggest fucking spider i've seen in forever! and living in the woods, i've seen some pretty big ass spiders! it was not harry, so no wolfspider, and it did have some chevroning on its back, so maybe the biggest hobo ever, and if so it could have rotted my leg off! hopefully it was black European house spider, those eat hobos and aren't poisonous. it was black, hairless, with thick but graceful legs with a big butt, a white spot on its head/body. kinda pretty, if it hadn't been godzillas cousin, its leg-span was as big as the palm of my hand! no joke! even with shoes i would have been in jeopardy! it would have just taken me and judo-thrown me over the railing before sucking out all my vital juices! anyway, i crept by it (those things can run at .5 feet per second!) and then watched as it tried to fit through the wood slats to set up shop under the deck. it took it two minutes to work its big ass through, and those slats are at least a half inch apart! Blah!!!

Went to Value Village with grandma and sis. Got my gas money's worth when I picked an outfit out for sis and made her try it on. Top: black shiny spandex dance top complete with asymmetrical crossed straps and rhinestones Bottom: rainbow sequined gold leopard-print spandex bell-bottoms Jacket:  long-sleeved roushed cuffed short-waisted sweater with ribbon tie front in Cookie Monster blue complete with Cookie Monster blue furred collar. oh, the price of art!!! I laughed my ass off, but she bought the sweater. it goes with the Cookie Monster-"skin" carpet for our apartment.

Ok, see if this works this time.

Seems as if some of us have been feeling as gloomy as the weather. Always happens in the Fall. Yes, even I, the proverbial loner, have felt the chill wind of despair and seek a fire to warm my cold hands over...but I know that fires are there...So here's a raised flagon from me to you. An old poem I found in high school in a book filled of old poems. I always go back to it.

Invictus- William E. Henley

Out of the night that covers me/ Black as the Pit from pole to pole,/ I thank whatever gods may be/ For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance/ I have not winced nor cried aloud./ Under the bludgeonings of chance/ My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears/ Looms but the Horror of the shade,/ And yet the menace of the years/ Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,/ How charged with punishments the scroll,/ I am the master of my fate:/ I am the captain of my soul.

 

OK, for those of you who've been wondering if i've fallen off the earth...no! i havn't! but this is a summary of what i HAVE been doing the last month or so:

attending two weddings, one as the maid of honor (in Canon Beach). taking ballroom and latin dance classes (but still saying no to drunken mexicans...which reminds me...shoving my former boss into the back of my car in south everett while she's so drunk she can't remember that she's gay and fending off two drunken mexicans in the parking lot while i'm at it; i multi-task). volunteering to teach teenaged girls in drug/alcohol recovery how to ride horses. buying way too many shoes. hippy-dancing in the food court to a flirtatious old flamenco guitarist in an upscale mall. catching the tail end, literally, of a male strip show. teaching girls how to hustle. learning how to two-step in a country western bar. getting groped by drunken navy boys while dancing to a 70s cover band. eating sushi for the first time (btw, pokemons taste like tapioca). planning my next foreign vacation. babysitting my employees (yes, they act like they're 12). getting tons of negative vibes dumped on me in unasked for therapy sessions (i'm about ready to explode over that one). pulling my hair out (not literally) cause my store is torn apart every weekend by rabid asian tourists from BC (i'm sorry, but some of them are pretty bad about NEVER picking up after themselves). trying to finish belly dance costumes. going to a fairie festival (as in pixi, as in hippy-pixi-folk life). 12 hours in a kumquat on the way back. food poisoning once i GOT back (that sucked. nothing but a Dixi cup of water and a Saltine for over 24 hours; take my suggestion: don't eat the meatloaf). being sounding board for my sister's man problems (we also coined the term "cunt blunt" as opposed to "cock block" for those of you who are interested). sorrowing over my poor feet, who only ask to be admired and given a little love but are now developing calluses, it is tragic, they were so beautiful once. i weep for them. and finally, deciding what i want to be when i grow up. if nothing else so i never have to see the Journeyman reversed one more stinking time!!!

Ok, maybe just my parents. but if anyone wants to know where i get it from, its my dad. and maybe a bit from my mom. he was actually in good mood today. even though he put garlic bread on broil in oven and burnt it (almost caused fire) but he declared it salvage and we scraped the top off and put more garlic butter on it....WAY too much garlic butter!! i've never had so much garlic on something the food was actually spicy hot and i'm shooting garlic flames out of my mouth even after too after dinner mints. then the crow comments... anyway, more later after i come back from raine's wedding!! yay, road trip with Mrs. Darcy!! primping with Raine! i get to be a girl!! and i'm not driving (a fact which Mrs. Darcy is probably praising her gods for right now!)

so finding irish proverbs for toasts for wedding. nice! and in process looked at some books i haven't in ever so long. nik right, silverstein a great man...

Enter this Deserted House

But please walk softly as you do. Frogs dwell here and crickets too.

Ain't no ceiling, only blue. Jays dwell here and sunbeams too.

Floors are flowers--take a few. Ferns grow here and daisies too.

Whoosh, swoosh--too-whit, too-woo. Bats dwell here and hoot owls too.

Ha-ha-ha, hee-hee, hoo-hooooo. Gnomes dwell here and goblins too.

And my child, I thought you knew. I dwell here...and so do you.

-- From Where the Sidewalk Ends

Take that, all you symbolism sufferers, and glory in the me-ness of children's poetry!