It's been a while since I've written something to you guys. I've been pretty busy with work and babysitting; I haven't taken time to sit and think. I was kind of excited to see that close to 200 people have looked at my blogs...hopefully you will find yourself blessed by my joys...

I am still being used by God to do amazing things. I see Him everyday and am still overcome by His love for me. I do not deserve His love, much less His grace. I have seen Him move in my friends. I have seen the way He has broken their hearts to show them that they cannot live this life without Him. I don't know why I ever think that I can do it alone...I can't. I'm His child and He alone gives me everything I could ever need. In Him I find peace, love, joy, and in Him alone I can LIVE. I'm amazed...My prayer for you is that you find life and joy in Him as well! He's ready to give it...it's yours for the taking! How great of a gift; you can't afford to pass it up! Sending you lots of hugs and thoughts!

Love you,

Heath

So, I'm pretty much loving life. I think that God is showing me something new everyday . He's showing me something about myself in the people I meet and He's teaching me to listen and wait; I believe He thinks my patience needs a little work. As a child of His, asking for patience is something that takes much thought and prayer. In the past I've found that asking God for patience is like asking for raging waters to enter your life and toss you to and fro. So when you ask, be ready. I don't understand why He does that, but then again, if you think about it...the best way to learn patience is to endure the hard stuff. It's like the storms He sends are mere tests for us. You have to go through the trials, prove that you can persevere with love and faithfulness, which I believe leads to obtaining a knowledge and understanding of patience. 

 In the past month I have met some of the most amazing people; people who have challenged me to my core without evening knowing they are doing so. They have challenged me to think outside the proverbial bubble in which I have been living my life. I came into their world not knowing many things; to be honest, I'm still learning more and more as I trust and am trusted by them. I love the openness, commonalities, and idiosyncrasies we share. It's like I wrote in an earlier blog...things happen for a reason. I had to go through something tough to get something greater. I have met friends who have been true to me and let me get in their lives. I've loved the raw moments we've had to share and relate to one another (or at least try!). I believe that God has a plan for us; they needed me and I, them. Through our differences, we have been able to learn from each other and be encouraged. It's like I haven't taken the time to really appreciate them for what they are and what they have shown me...if they come across this blog...you know who I'm talking to. I know we haven't been friends for a long time, but know that you hold special places in my heart. God has blessed me richly and I pray that He continues to do the same for you. Know that you're in my thoughts and prayers daily and I pray that I can be God's light to you in this often times dark world. Let Him use you and listen to Him when He calls you His child.  You are loved. To friends...thank you for blessing me. To God, thank you for blessing all of us.

I've been sitting here at home for the past hour doing pretty much nothing. You know that feeling you get when you email someone after something big has happened and then you look back on it and think "was that such a good idea?" I just had one of those moments. Even though I felt that way for a second, I know that what was said needed to be said, so no harm done, right? Who knows...But when I think about it, if I was given the chance to say those things again, face to face maybe, I wouldn't do it. Not that I'm scared too, but it's just not worth it, ya know? I want to just let things settle and go back to being friends, which I think is more than possible. I want to show that remaining friends is more important to me than losing one...

Anyway, enough of my crazy thoughts...I'm sure I've done nothing but confuse you...thanks for sticking with me though! Do you love how I write these things as if people read them all the time? I like to think that I have friends who want to know what's going on with me SO badly that they look on myspace to check on me. haha. Well, for those of you who care, I'm awesome...God is doing amazing things in my life and I can't wait to see where He leads me next!

Mark 1:17..."follow Me and I will make you fishers of men."

GO FISH!

I woke up this morning with a horrible feeling. The feeling you get when you can't sleep but don't want to get out of bed cause you don't really want to face the day...It sounds dramatic, I know, but it all happened last night and this is my "reaction," I guess...

It's like you put yourself out there to get to know someone..All I ask is "be honest with me." Everyone warns me not to trust, but I do anyway, it's just my nature...am I stupid? I hate being lied to...I settled, lowered my standards for someone who "totally respects me." I took a chance and set myself up for this...but I won't be sad, because I have something greater. Something within me that calls me to something better, more amazing than anything I have ever known.

 I'll thank God now for showing me this person in his true light. I'll praise Him for the hurtfulness and bless His name for saving me from doing something stupid; soemthing I'd regret. God is good. Yeah...I'll rejoice instead of being sad...I know I'm better than all this and God has a plan. It's like He lets you get hurt only to see His greatness. I don't understand it, but it's His way of saying "I love you, my child...stay close to me." It's His gentle whisper that calls me back to His side, back to the place I know I belong.