On Monday, December 1, 2008, I lost a friend.

She was more than my car, she was a member of my family, faithfully getting me to where I had to be and back until the day she died. May she find Peace at whatever junkyard she will call her final resting place.

        I have a goatee, does that mean I'm the evil version of myself from an alternate universe? But I'm a pretty nice guy.. so does that mean that my "good" version of me is like, a responsible, overacheiving, humanitarian? Or maybe it's the opposite? Maybe I'm just an ALTERNATE me from another universe. The other me isn't by definition, "good" he's just, opposite.So that means he's a relentless, racist, genocidal, self depreciating, mass murderer...
    This must be pondered further, and at length....

        It has come to my attention, and with no surprise, that I have a few non-weed smoking friends. These friends, their hearts in the right places, have a few misconceptions about weed/pot/refer/whatever. I'd like to help, if I can, to dispel a few of those misconceptions.
    Misconception 1: Marijuana is a dangerous, addictive, destructive substance that should stay banned.

  -Vicodin, Morphine, Adderol, and Ritalin are all consciousness-altering substances but are used frequently and with so much flippancy by hospitals and private practices. Notably, each of these substances is exponentially more dangerous, and far more destructive than marijuana when abused. However ANYTHING when abused is dangerous.
       a.)Addiction: Marijuana is labratory tested- and proven to not be addictive, and is even significantly less addictive than caffiene. However, capacity for addiction does exist with some individuals. The type of addiction to Cannabis is the same as the type of addiction to online gaming.  However, this addiction in itself is as "harmless" as cigarette addictions. (no stealing TVs or holding up Liquor stores for pot.).


Misconception 2: You'll go on "trips" and hallucinate when you're high.

    -I really lol'd when I heard this. Mary Jane isn't the White Horse or LSD. I have NEVER "seen" anything that wasn't there while high, nor does anyone else I have interviewed. However you are able to visualize things that you may think about.
That said, Marijuana DOES make you introspective and philosophical (And chatty). Your mind does tend to run wild, and occasionally you get a tad paranoid, but nothing insane, or even remotely bad will happen.

    What actually happens when you're high? Well.. it varies for each person, but with me, there seems to be a cycle.  Let's start when you're with others who smoke; First, I get very social, I share silly theories and crack jokes with my friends. Everything that can be funny IS funny, and you will laugh Your mouth will either water and become very dry or either, or both.    Next, snackage. Whatever is edible, you will eat. Popcorn and cheese popcorn is delicious. I used to try to stay away from sticky or wet foods, but they're not bad either. Something plain and salty usually does the trick for me. Unflavored tortillias and salsa, dry ramen, etc. Try something fruity to drink, never carbonized, it'll be horrible the first few times you smoke.  After I get sufficient snackage, I go to the "chill" phase. That's where you find someplace comfortable and with snack in hand, and do whatever you want to do. (play video games, surf web, watch tv, listen to music) The important part, is that you must absolutely be comfortable. You can either stop chilling and go do something if you want, as long as you're relaxed, you're fine.

-Going places while high: If you MUST walk, the best time to walk is after it rains. With me, usually it feels as if I'm in a rainforest or lush jungle. The birds chirping and ambient sounds help put me right in my own little bubble of awesome. The key to being active while high is: Keep a copy of the Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy on you, because in big letters on the front it says "DON'T PANIC."  I highly suggest gaining a tolerance for weed before you decide to venture outside.
   a)Driving. In six different countries, drivers under the influence of marijuana were tested scientifically. Results showed that these drivers were more cautious and defensive drivers. Essentially, they drove more safely and are thusly, less prone to accidents, despite the marginally small decrease in reaction time.
Do I have to spell it out? You drive better high. QED

Misconception 3) You're a different person when you're high!:
   
- This is the biggest crock of bullshit I've ever come across. Someone who isn't high can obviously tell that you're blazed/baked/burnt/whatever. But they aren't comfortable because you're in your bubble, and they want to be in there too, but can't because they have a stick up their ass about trying it.   You take a better approach to everything when you're high. Bud users are typically peaceful, non-intrusive folk who just want to chill. It's not a change in personality, as it is more of a change in priority. You're less inclined to start a fight, do something reckless, or severely injure yourself because weed makes you take less risks.
When you're around someome who's smoking, you're seeing them absolutely relaxed, and they're telling you what's really on their mind. That's it. It's no more complicated than that.  The next time you're around someone who's high, talk to them and treat them as you normally would, they're not an Autistic child with Down's Syndrome.


In closing, I hope I've helped a few of you understand more about Cannabis Satvia, and what it does to your friends.

 Please comment and tell me what you think, I may be able to offer more insight.

Now, I previously had my issues with Mary Jane. But after doing a considerable amount of research, I deemed it safe for my own consumption, and proceeded to delve deeper into the art of pot smoking.

I've only been at it for about a month now, and not in GREAT excess, but, still, a decent amount has been smoked. Today I just made my first bong. I named it the Red Baron. I tested it with tobacco and it works great. This will probably be the extent of my venture into illegal controlled substances, as I intend to have a future, and from what I can see, Marijuana won't bring my yuppie-ish plans to a screeching halt.

Pix of the Baron soon. But don't laugh, it's a ghetto ass bong to say the very least. -_-

DISCLAIMER: I just saw this and decided to post it. It's not directed towards anyone in particular that I know. Except maybe Betty or Anna, but they don't matter anyway, lol.







    What happened to all the nice guys?
The answer is simple: you did.

See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went shopping, stop by your place for a movie when you were lonely but didn't feel like going out, or even sit there and hold you while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were fucking treated you.

At the time, you probably joked with your girlfriends about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he was a little too short, or too bald, or too fat, or too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself, or basically be or do any of the things that your tall, good-looking, fit, rich, stylish boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you werent dating him. More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship.

So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the bar scene for several months having only encountered players and douche bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

Well, once again, you did.

You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend. Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or hold you when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the boyfriend that you had. He probably cleaned up his look, started making some money, and generally acted like more of an asshole than he ever wanted to be.

act is, now, he's probably getting laid, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

1.) Build a time machine.
2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab a hold of it.

I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

If you were five years younger.

So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've fucked yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bullshit and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't fucking want you, now.

Sincerely,

A Recovering Nice Guy

    Amazingly enough, things in my life are getting better incrementally. I've got an interview Tuesday. My stepdad dropped off a microwave, toaster and coffee maker. :o That's surprising. My apartment is CLEAAAANNNN!!!!!1!1!! Because I cleaned it. The only thing that remains is 11 bags of laundry that will have to be taken to a laundromat because my grandmother is acting like a total bitch and won't let my mom buy me another washer....I haven't been sick much lately, which happens to be a direct result of eating better... However I've been smoking more. Not sure why. Hell, I'm about to go out for a puff now. x.x In any case. I haven't posted in a while, and it's not like that many people read this thing anyway, so blarg. 

        Life seems as if it is a neverending cycle of bullshit. When you think you’ve got a grasp on it, it changes into something more confusing and complex. When you think that you have your heart and mind set on something, you go and do something completely retarded, and hurt those that care about you the most. We like to blame the little things on Life, but the truth of the matter is, it’s our own decisions that cause most of our problems. Dealing with life’s drudgery is all about if you’re content enough to live with those choices that you make, or simply not make them at all.
    I am a man of many choices that people consider questionable or even foolish, however I can be content in knowing that many of those choices I made, I was just following my heart. I guess I’m a glutton for punishment, then, because right when people think that I’m on the right track, I go and do something completely ass backwards because somehow, the "right track" never feels good for long.

One more stupid mistake, and I’m seeking professional help.............

 The world would be a better place without a lot of things. Without Christians polluting politics with their bias, without politicians polluting politics with their greed. Without Muslims destroying everyone who does not agree with them. People talk about hate speech. Well, chalk this down as one. I hate religious zealots, I hate human beings who trod on others for their own sole sake. I hate those that ostracise others due to their own primal tribalism. I hate those that infect our communities with drugs, I hate those that perpetuate negativity with their music. I hate those that glorify evil, selfishness, and exploitation. And I will support, if not lead, any action to rid the planet of these people.

    Current Crisis: 0
    Current Events: 0
   

That’s right. Nothing. Not one damn thing is happening. Still jobless, yet, not starving to death. Still wading from day to day through a sea of mediocrity and nothingness. Time has no concept when there’s nothing to do, and nothing planned. I sleep during the day. Do nearly nothing during the night. I would wish something interesting would happen, but chances are it’d be bad anyway. Fuck. >.>

        Once again, I've been screwed out of getting a new computer. I'm entering my newest theory that there exists a "Fuck You, Paul" field, and that this field zones in on anything I'm planning or willing to do, and administers a huge FUCK YOU, PAUL to it. Anyway. I've been beating myself up to get a goddamn job, but on the other hand I want to go back to school. Sure I can do both, but my constant use of the car would complicate things for my roomate, who is also working at the moment.

So, I need to know if there are any anti-Fuck you, Paul-field machines that I can buy or borrow or w/e. Because I'm sick of living like this, never EVER winning, and NEVER getting even my smallest desires.

Did I forget anything?


Oh yeah....

Blah blah blah. Die in a fire, Matthew Harris and you can take your asshole friend John with you.



There we go.

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