http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWbPxa11LJU

Princess Athena teaches us the basics of caring for your "puppy dog". Peep the Princess gloves! And the dookie diamond ring! LOL @ :23... "Tell me when it's action time!"

...is Cloverfield.

I'm typically very cynical when it comes to Hollywood. Not one for the hype.

But this movie, Ladies and Gentlemen, completely lives up to it. Surpasses it in some ways, even!

Go see this movie. Seriously.

I can't spoil it for you, so I'll be as careful as I can in this review.

By now, you all know what it's about...some guy gets a VP job in Japan (that's GOTTA be a slight homage to Godzilla and the like, no?), and his friends throw him a going away party. They just happen to have it on the worst possible night---a night when a giant monster attacks NYC in absolute SPECTACULAR fashion!

The movie starts of rather comically...a couple of morning after videos of the main protagonist and his girlfriend (no, not THAT kind...this is a PG 13 flick...LOL), some video of a surprise party, etc. This part was especially effective in that w/in the span of maybe 10, 15 minutes, I was drawn into these characters and elevated them above the typical 'monster food' that the ensemble cast usually represents. You actually care whether they live or die.

After about 15 to 20 minutes of this exposition, the movie goes into overdrive. I must admit, the sound design of this movie is top notch. There are parts that truly make you feel like you are in the movie! That, coupled w/the perspective, was quite effective in immersing me into the experience. Audiophiles DEFINITELY need to take note of this flick and its superb audio design.

The monster (which we get a GREAT look @, late in the film) is completely badass. Like a force of nature. The military seems to be powerless to stop it.

Anyway, bottom line is that this flick is hot. Short, sweet and to the point (not every flick needs to be Lord-Of-The-Rings long!), full of action, somewhat palatable main characters, and SERIOUS potential for a bunch of sequels, but in a good way.

OK, now for the critics...SPOILERS AHEAD!!!





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To all those who say "X didn't make sense" or "Why would he do Y" or "That's not very realistic" I say, it's a movie about a giant frikkin thing and its doberman sized, poisonous bite having giant spiderlings destroying NYC. How 'real' do you want this? Go watch a damn documentary for realism, why don't you? I would think that any sane, rational adult would know to expect at least a little bit of fantasy when viewing a (wait for it) monster movie...last I checked, monsters weren't real, folks...I just don't understand why people are so dumb that they need everything explained in detail. What happened to imagination and suspension of disbelief? I thought that the open endedness (where did the monster come from? Did the final attack actually defeat it? How did the bites from the relatively little ones cause people to explode?) was great, cause it made me actually think about the answers to those questions as I left the theater. And though I said it's ripe for a sequel, it's done in a really good way...the director leaves a lot open to speculation, yet it all comes together in the context of the movie...these regular civilians wouldn't be privy to the answers to the aforementioned questions...

But Cloverfield 2 might...LOL

At any rate, if you like monster movies and aren't too bothered by motion sickness (which, in all fairness, wasn't that often), then you'll LOVE Cloverfield.

8 out of 10...

ONE

We don't stress the small shit...for instance:

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life. (Transformers---more than meets the eye!!! LOL)
One wallet and one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder we're happier!!!

Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy reading it.


This message was brought to you by -
The letters S, E and X, and the numbers 6 and 9...

Sponsored by -
Your Friendly Neighborhood Misogynist (not really)

Y'know, the recent Sean Taylor shooting got me to thinking...

There are a few undeniable facts that we, the General Public, know about definitively:

1 - Apparently, he was gunned down by another Black Man.
2 - Dude had quite a few run ins w/the law, and not the driving while suspended/speeding ticket kind. I'm talking aggravated assault! (w/a deadly weapon, no less)
3 - Money had numerous run ins w/his coach, other players, etc. (PS: For all my ebonically challenged friends, 'Money', sometimes 'Money Grip', is a term of endearment that we use for each other. I'm not talking about the actual commodity...the term is actually kind of played out...LOL)

I say all that to say that Taylor was no angel. Shit, he rode around in a whip that had been riddled w/bullet holes @ one point!

Still, though, I don't think he deserved to die, ESPECIALLY not @ the hands of another Black Man!

So, having said all that, I come to my point--the Black KKK is on the rise, fueled partially by ignorance, mysogony and greed. We kill each other in numbers orders of magnitude higher than the White KKK ever did, even @ its zenith in the Antebellum South.

Ever wonder why the White Klan isn't as prominent as it once was? Well, sure, there are some laws on the books against some of the practices they exercize, that's one reason. In my humble opinion, though, the main reason is because we are doing their work for them. I can imagine the conversation between two White Klansmen now:

Jimmy Jay : "Hey, let's go on down to the town square and hang us a couple of paper mache niggers in effigy!"
Ezekiel : "Naw, Jimmy! It's against the law to do that kinda shit. Dem niggers got lawyers on they side now!"
JJ : "Well, gawshdarnit, what in tarnation we gonna do to get rid of all these monkeys?"
E : "Nothin'."
JJ : "Whatchamean, nothin'?"
E : "Just what I said, Jimmy...what w/all that thar rap music and crack and shit, they killin' themselves. We ain't even gotta lay a finger."
JJ : "Sooooooweeee! I'm as happy as a pig in shit! Let's go drink on some of your Momma's Tit Milk Moonshine. Afterwards, let's have a threesome w/my cousin!"
E : "NOW ya talkin'!!!!"
*shotguns fire in the air in celebration*

Prominent Black figures, for all their wealth, power and influence, seem to not be cognizant of this. (Oprah, Bill Cosby and a few others being excellent, sorely needed exceptions) Why?

Why is it that when I speak Proper English or exude even a modicum of intelligence, I'm immediately labeled an 'Uncle Tom' by my so-called peers? Why can't I dress like I do (BEEN dressing like this since High School, waaaaaay before Kanye was famous, by the way!), wear a tie and a nice shirt w/a collar and cuffs and NOT wear my pants down around my ankles w/o being labeled a faggot? Why do we raise holy Hell when someone outside our race does us wrong, but act like blind, deaf mutes when we slay each other, violently, DAILY? Why can't I be grown and responsible w/o it being somehow perceived as negative?

Hence the title of this blog...Niggers vs African Americans.

We are at war w/each other. Constantly. We hate ourselves, and it's evident (esp. in today's instant information age) for the whole fucking world to see.

What happened to Black Love? We used to love each other back in the 50s/60s/70s, even as recent as the late 80s. What happened?

And Black people in this country wonder why some Africans view @ them the way they do...w/utter disdain and contempt...can you blame them? Sometimes, in all honesty, I find myself feeling embarrassed for my race. Truly. We are acting like fucking monkeys. More like crabs in a barrell, actually.

My condolences and blessings go out to Taylor's family, (esp his little baby daughter!) and I pray all the time that we re-learn how to love each other.

I gotta get this off my chest.

It'll probably be hella unpopular, but then again, I've never been one for caring about what others think of me! (1 look @ how I dress, and this should be evident...LOL)

While I'm a HUGE Jay-Z fan, I don't think I'm as impressed w/this latest album as a lot of other ppl are.

His rhymes are top notch, of course. Anyone disputing that Jay is one of the illest lyricists in Rap today isn't paying much attention. While Jay was never known for groundbreaking CONTENT, the DELIVERY is almost above reproach. I tend to liken it to that scene in the 1st Matrix movie (not the horrible sequels either! But I digress…) when Neo 1st meets Morpheus and they sit in the lounge chairs across from each other. Jay's style is like Morpheus…very matter-of-fact, simple and to the point–superbly affective, tremendously effective.

I say all that to solidify to any reading this that I AM A JAY-Z FAN, big time.

That's why I'm so disappointed in this album!

The production is NOT top notch. Reasonable Doubt had some of the best tracks in existence, and still does to this day. Most, if not ALL the music on that album was borderline sacrosanct!

American Gangster, in my humble opinion, has 4, maybe 5 tracks that stand out. The rest, purely from a production standpoint, are woefully plebian.

So, to summarize the FACTS:

1. Sundance is a HUGE Jigga fan
2. Reasonable Doubt > most albums released in the last decade
2. American Gangster < most of Jay-Z's albums released in the last decade (ok, this is more of an opinion…LOL)

Ok...time to revisit this list...

Not much has changed about it...a few new additions...

You should do yourselves a favor and add these cats to your friends lists, ESPECIALLY if you appreciate REAL Hip Hop...I've even gone thru the trouble of hyperlinking their names to their respective MySpace pages...

Please don't let my superior HTML coding efforts be in vain! LOL

PS: This is a comprehensive list...not in order

- Alexis Carrington (bring back that "Everything I Am" track, Honey!!!)

- I - Cue (Wooooooooooow...who knew a top notch drum-n-bass/jungle producer could come up w/such marvelous shit?)

- Obsidian Blue (someone PLEASE sign this Dude...)

- Ed Da Butcher (since 1970--something...FYAH!)

- 9th Wonder (the name says it all...)

- Khrysis (it's Khrysis, bitchessssss!!!)

- Pete Rock (as if I could leave this cat off the list...yeah right!)

- MadLib (I used to get soooooo faded to this guy's music...now I just get faded OFF of the music!)

- Illmind (Illmind on production, of course!)

- J Dilla (quite possibly THE illest on this list...really!)

- Masters At Work (yeah, I'm STILL a house head, and no, I'm not gay. Whut!!!!)

<- Say werd?

<- Damn...I can't even imagine...

<- @ least she's @ the Right Hand Of God...

http://www.dontclick.it
Kinda old, but still cool.
AND it's Office Friendly!
I be @ work checking my mail too...LOL