Sooo.. its always like when something STARTS going good.. it goes bad just as fast. Idk I don't understand I have the worst luck of all time. I'm praying 2010 is way better then this yr. of alllll the yrs this would be the one I would erase. Between finding out my mom has cancer... my car and all its CONSTANT problems... and other huge issue in my life.. I'm surprised I hold up so well. I always try to act soooo strong..but sometimes I feel so out of control in my own life.

I hate the ppl that supposedly "care" bout me but do things behind my back..that if they truely cared for me they wouldn't be doing or saying those things. Sometimes I feel like ppl this I'm the bad guy just cuz I'm outspoken.. I won't bite my tongue, I say it how it is. Idk what to even think half the time.. my mind is always filled with millions of what ifs and stuff. It shouldn't be like that at all. I constantly worry about my mom but I feel like.. I try to pretend that she's ok..like nothing wrong. I know she is very strong and will beat the cancer but I still hate the thought that she is sick.
I'm just sick and tired of everything in my life going to crap in front of my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it.. I just wish something would go right and stay right.

Please pray for me & my family...

Landon is the only thing that I have that I am proud of and that truely makes me happy everyday. This past yr he has grown up so much. He is so smart and sucha mamas boy. He is what gives me my purpose in life. I love him more then I can even explain..

So I havent posted one of these in forever so I thought that it might be time to update a little bit! Well Im almost 32 weeks pregnant now.. Landon is a VERY active little one I can tell u that much! Our next dr. appointment is monday then were gonna get to find out when we get the next ultrasound which Im very excited about. I cant wait to see him all big now! Oh ya...My baby shower is this saturday!! Im super super anxious! Its gonna be a blasty blast!! My cuzin Ashley is awesome for throwing it... shes going all out! I apprieciate it SoOoO much!!!

Ummm.. Me and Matthew have been together a yr now since June 14th..  Kinda crazy.. I get annoyed really easily by LITTLE GIRLS thinking that they have a chance with him just cuz he talks to them. Its so irritating.. hello.. we live with each other... were with each other all the time regardless of what gets said or what he tells them.. were having a baby together (and hes very very excited about it) So I think its dumb when they think "OMG hes talking to me or texting me I have a shot" UHHH NO! He has made it clear MANY times that he is going to be with me.. and STAY with me.. so dont get ur little hopes up girlies!

We have our little arguments but over all he is one of the most important ppl in my life and I would go crazy without him. I know when he gets pissed off he says stupid stuff or whatev and he might be telling all u girls little things.. but he is with me & Im the one that he comes home to everyday.. so eat ur heart out! U guys can talk and say what u wanna say over text messages or myspace but will it ever happen??? uhhh NOPE!! Ppl do a lotta talking so most stuff gets back to me regardless of what u all think.. I know mostly everything that goes on and that shouldnt be a surprise!

So next time ur feeling all good about urself thinkin wow hes flirting with me or something.. flirting is one thing.. but acting upon it is another. How would u feel if u were almost 8 months pregnant and u have ppl trying to get with ur boyfriend of a yr who u live with and share everything with!?! u wouldnt like it if the tables were turned so maybe u should think about it.. Karma is a major killer!!

BUT ANYWAYS!!!! Overall life has been pretty good lately! Once we have the baby shower we will know what else needs to be bought and we can get started on that. OoO were gonna go get his crib next week  very exciting!! I cant believe he is going to be here so soon!!! I cant wait to hold him in my arms.. and I cant wait to see him with his daddy!! AwWw! I know that Im gonna cry cuz itll be such an awesome experiance!

Well Im off.. had lots to say haha!!! So ta ta for now!

Just thought that I would catch everyone up on everything..

First off... Happy Holidays... 2 days til Christmas WOO HOO! lol

Anyways.. serious note.. Me and Matthew r expecting! Thats right.. im pregnant! 6 weeks.. Im due on August 17, 2008!     = D    Im hoping for a girl.. and him.. well a boy of course! haha

Well on friday the 21st I went to the doctor and she saw from my ultra sound that there was some bleeding behind the placenta and she took me off work for a month and put me on bed rest to be safe. She said that it can be common and it can be nothing but to be careful and catious she doesnt want me doing anything that can hurt me or the baby. It has me totally freaked out! I cried and cried. Were very worried but can only hope and pray for the best.

So please everyone keep us 3 in ur prayers.. I appreicate it!!!

 

LoVe,

Katie

Ok..man.. where to begin where to begin???

 

My life.. is simply...

AwEsOmE!

 

God put me through a lot of trials and I believe that it was to help me grow as a person. I dont ever regret anything that I did in the past bcuz it only made me stronger. God doesnt put us through stuff that we cant handle and get through. I have amazing ppl in my life and thats what also keeps me going and keeps me strong when im having a bad day.

My best friend Camille.. who is always there for me.. is someone that I could never replace and I would never want to. We have a lotta memories together and a lot LOT more to come. We r attached at the hip and I love it. I have tons of fun when were together.

My boyfiend Matt.. the one who always makes me smile.. is awesome. I have never met a person who seems to care so much. He came into this thing knowing what has just happened to me and he is so understanding of it all. He is the only guy I know that will just sit down and talk to me for hours if im having a problem and he'll try to talk me through it.. he is so great. I thank God everyday that I have him in my life. He helps me to be strong and I love him.. Its amazing how things happen.. but at the same time.. I love it and I wouldnt want it any other way. Matt... if ur reading this.. Thank u.. I dont think I have said it enough.. but thank u.. for helping me move on from stuff that was holding me back.. U made me feel like I actually deserved good.. and I appreciate u so much. I love u!!!

 

To everyone else.. u guys rock and I love u.. hehehe

 

&& on the note.. watch out Pismo.. HERE WE COME! Leaving tomorrow at 7!! oh ya.. gonna be awesome.. going with the best ppl in the world!!

 

 

Katie

Well well well..

I dont even know where to start. Its been months and months since I have posted a blog. A LOT has happened. Me and Corey r once again over... and Im ok with that. This is what God wanted obviously and as bad as it hurt at first Im ok with all this. I have amazing friends and ppl in my life whom I love unconditionally and I have their full support in everything that I do. I have just been hanging out and doing what I wanna do...and its been a lotta fun. Surprisingly, im really happy with my life as it is right now. I thought that I would be devistated.. but I think God put me through the first break up to show me things.. and now that I know its not that bad and everything.. this break up wasnt that harsh. Were still on talking terms.. were still friends. Sometimes its weird, but thats ok.. thats expected. I guess that God just has something else in store for the both of us. So good luck 2 us! Sometimes life has some curve balls.. but we always seem to figure them out.. and with that...

Camille Karen Behrens.. my BFFFFLFFF...my other butt cheek... I freakin LOVE HER to death. I have had sOoO much fun with her the past few weeks. Good times good times. Swimming, driving around, random walks 2 skools, singing, dancing, park trips.. randomness.. it all rocks!Thanks 2 ALL my friends that I have been hanging out with u guys r awesome and I LOVE U! hehehe  & thanks 2 u know who.. 4 keeping my mind off things and making me smile even when I didnt feel like it. U honestly make me really happy!

Anyways.. enough of all this. Im outtie! lol

 

LuV Ya,

Katie

P.S. Sometimes I wonder why things happen and I start to worry and doubt stuff.. but then I remember that God doesnt put us through stuff that we cant do... So whenever u feel like giving up or that lifes to hard.. turn to God!

 

Ok..where do I begin?? Ive been wanting to post a new blog for over a week and I just havent gotten around to it yet...but as everyone knows..me and Corey are back together..and its awesome! On January 18th he came to me and told me that he was done with everything that he was doing and that he wanted me back. My heart was jumping and I was so happy..but..my mind on the other hand was telling me,"dont do it.." but I followed my heart and I took him back bc I love him and I know the real him...the him without the drugs and alcohol. When he was out in the world..I could look into his eyes..and I would see..nothing. It was like I didnt even know him. But that night..I looked at him and I saw something different. I seen the person that I once saw and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I know that it took a lotta guts to say that he was done bc he had just been that guy that was big and bad and fearless. I knew that that was a sign that he was serious. He got no where really fast and its a shame that the stuff that happened to him happened..but at the same time its a learning experience that he can now turn around into a testemony to touch teenagers that r doing the same things that he had. I see a total change in him. I mean yes he still has flaws...but we all do and I believe with his faith in God and him knowing that He wont let him get to far away that he can do amazing things. I believe in him and have so much faith in him. I believe that in the future Corey will be a great man of God and thats something that I am looking forward too..I need someone to help me along. Someone to keep me on my toes. He is the one I wanna marry..he is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. He makes me feel like no one else does. Its amazing..Some ppl look at me like im insane when I tell them were back together..yes I didnt deserve anything that I went through..and yes I had never in my life EvEr felt pain like that.. but..I love him and I will never turn my back on him. I fully believe that it was the drugs that made him that way. I am willing to give him one more chance.. I pray that he does the right things and we stay together forever.. Thank u to everyone who prayed for him..and also for me and the whole situation when it was taking place. Prayer helped me sooo much. Of course please always keep us in ur prayers bc were always hitting obsticles and stuff.. ppl dont like to see other ppl succeed..so just keep praying for us. Also..thanks to my bestest friends who did everything in their power to keep me happy through this time.. u guys r awesome and I love u sooo much!!! hehehe Well anyways..I wrote enough already gosh I get on a roll and I go on and on! haha So ya, I just wanted to let everyone know what God is doing in my life. He is great and works miracles thats for sure! And also to Corey: I love u babe and no matter what I will be here for u.. I know we have been through some deffinite rough patches in our relationship and there are some serious scars.. but we can work on it and move past this. We are strong and with God..we can learn from this. I am so glad that ur taking this experiance and using it to touch other ppl..thats good and I believe that God will bless u for that. Anyways..I love u and I cant wait to marry u.. u r someone I could never replace..! XoXo

 

Katie

I just wanted to thank you guys for the lock in. It was fun, and for the most part..it kept my mind off things. When everyone started praying and stuff..for once..in so long..I felt FiLLeD! It was amazing..AMAZING how no matter what, we can drop all problems with each other and come together and be one. I wanna say thank you and I appreciate every prayer that went out to me last night.. I feel a lot different today. A new battle has begun, but hopefully I am ready. I did some re-evaluating on myself...and I see faults in myself as hard as it is..but Im ready to change. I was thinking last night, when I was crying and surrounded by the ppl that I love, that if I worry about stuff thats being unsure of God and what he can do for you. Its normal to worry..but in eccess..its like questioning God. I feel like I this was something that I needed..to feel on fire again. I need to focus more on my walk.. less on everything else. I am gonna try.. its the least I can do. I just wanna say that you for everyone that prayed for me and my situtation. It did help me a lot, its just sad it took this long, u know? But I hope this year is gonna be different, BETTER! I dont need to focus on the past and all that drama..I need to focus on the present and future. I dont know what the future holds for me anymore, and its a scary thought. But I can do it. I have amazing amazing friends and family. I have the bestest friends and I wanna thank Camille, Kristy, Michael, and Hailee for stickin by my side last night..and crying right along with me. It means more then I can even explain. = D my whole church is full of incredible ppl. I am forever greatful for meeting everyone. I am gonna go now..Ill talk to everyone later. Hope everyone had a fun and safe new yrs eve..

 

Life is fragile..Handle it with PrAyEr!!

 

...::KaTiE::...

When something bad happens in your life..the main thing you need to do is pray. I have learned this from experience. I am only one person and I cant change anything myself..I am not powerful enough. In my situtation everything is already too far gone I cant change anything so I just have to give it to God and pray that He does what is right for everyone. I wrote this poem to someone that I love so so much. Who knows if he will ever come on and see it.. but its dedicated to him.

 

 

Drugs is not a good lifestyle
And neither is drinking
How could you drop everything?
What in the world are you thinking?

The sad thing is
I dont even know you anymore
4 long years
You threw out the door

How can you turn your life around?
How could you just fall away?
Cant you see by doing this
Its not only you that pays?

How can you be so naive?
Why do you not care?
Cant you see we want the best for you?
To know that you'll be there.

Everyone loves you so much
But all we can do is pray
And hope you see all you've lost
Hope we will see the day..

The day you realize
This is not the life for you
You want God back in your heart
For him to make you new.

One day you'll cry out to him
And drop on your knees
Begging him to change ur life
Begging him "Please..."

You are a child of God
And when you go astray
He keeps his eyes on you
And doesn't let you get too far away.

Dont let Satan win
You can turn your life around
All you need to do
Is put your knees upon the ground!

 

 

I love u so much...Remember you don't have to do this... HE is better than drugs...   

I havent done a blog in like forever and a day so I thought that I would do one.. Right now Im at my youth pastors house with Corey. Were being bored of course. This weekend I finally watched the Grudge...pretty good movie. I also saw The Ring 2..it was good...long, but good. I didnt really do that much this weekend tho it was kinda kick back. I cant wait until wednesday tho! See U At The Pole rally fo sho! haha I love that thing its so much fun and its a time to get all the christian youth together to have fun and worship God.  Last yr was awesome. I also cant wait until October.. Magic Mountain on the 21st and Hobbs Grove the 28th... and Kutless concert in Fresno..ohh ya...spendin lots of money but hey..its the price to pay to have fun! haha oh ya, I got a new pair of shoes today! Super cute! Theyre white with hot pink on the sides and then they have hot pink and white checker shoe laces. cute cute cute...haha but ya anyways..im tired so ima try to hurry up Corey! hehehe Ill try and post blogs more often. hehe

 

 

Katie

Well tonight we had this "Holy Spirit" filled night service at church. It was undescribable!!! So many ppl gave up so much and just gave it all to God to do what he wanted to do with it..I was so overwhelmed and happy to see all my fellow youth members loving, hugging, and crying with each other. I believe that step just made us a whole lot stronger as group. It was an amazing experience. To see some...for the 1st time give their lives over to Christ...I cant even begin to explain how happy it made me. It makes u feel like...anything is possible. God is so good. I am so happy that I have progressed this far in my life. I wouldn't change anything from the past...it only made me stronger as a person. It was just a stepping stone to where I needed to be as a person. And meeting Corey, man that is something I would NEVER change for anything. He is the one that got me to go back to church..and I believe he helped save me..he was sent to me for a reason,   just as I was sent to him. God is amazing and I encourage anyone who hasnt gave their life to him to do it. Yeah "partying is fun"... while it lasts..it gets old...common ur not gonna be doing it when ur 35 so u should make something of ur life..it gets old. Dont u want ur life to feel  complete...u dont need to party..so what if ur "friends" are doing it...I took the leap of faith and didnt do what my "so called friends" were doing..I stopped hanging out with them and for awhile..i felt all I had was  Corey..but it was what I had felt I needed to do. I never regret anything. I wish I could have influenced more to become involved in church..but u can only push someone so much. I am just going on and on but God is so amazing and I feel so blessed to be where I am right this moment...its all thanks to God!!! If u have never been saved..or want to go to church..dont be ashamed...I would only be ashamed to not know who my lord and savior is...Take that step..and I know a really good church.. New Hope Christian Fellowship!! hehe but anyways..if ur still reading this..thanks for taking the time to see what God has done for me.!!!

 

LoVe,

KaTiE-BuG