I lost something.

A memory, a figment.

This intangible thing is far away now.

What was it?

A mote, lingering in the breeze, a sideways glance.

I can't remember.

It's not coming back, is it?

If it did, would I remember?

Would I know your face if I saw it again or would you look like someone from a dream,

wearing a new smile?

Dang man, its been half a year or over since I posted a blog last.
Apple Something asked me to post this 7 thing so I will do that now.
Also going on...We just bought a house. I work at Plaid Pantry until I get my GED and I have to take a math class for that because my brain doesnt do basic maths, never has. Plaid Pantry is pretty much the worst place I have ever been, I work graveyards and the hostile tweakers coming in to buy lottery tickets and hot cocoa are downright sad. Not sleeping a regular schedule is starting to get to me, sometimes I wonder if I will make it till the end of this class. Im pretty tough though.  My math class has been a very humbling experience, I have always been comfortable in my smarts and maybe that has made me a little proud. Not being able to do math that my 8 year old kid can do is fucking me up a little, thats all.

Also, next month I am getting surgery. I have a small hernia that was repaired when I had sophia but it is open again and possibly the cause of these terrible tummy aches and nausea I have been getting since the fall. The docs thought it was my gallbladder since stones run in the fam and I had a bunch of the symptoms that go along with gallstones. However, I had an ultrasound a few weeks ago and there wasnt a single thing in my gallbladder, it (and my liver) were beautiful. Everything was perfect. When the ultrasound tech held the wand over my hernia, I got wicked stomach pains. She suggested that it was my hernia thtas causing all of it. Its an easy fix so I am excited to have  it done. I hope that it fixes everything and I also hope that they dont have to cut my tattoo.

K, here we go Apple,

..

7

..

7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

1. Do 100 pushups
2. be a grandma
3. Learn to sing

4. Buy aMini Cooper

5. Write a book
6. learn maths
7. take my childres to visit other cultures and teach them to respect all people.


7 Things I Cannot Do:

1. Sleep sitting up
2. keep my finger outta my nose
3. like something just because I am supposed to
4. appriciate the harpsichord
5. give up caffeine.
6. keep my mouth shut
7. change Sophias poop diapers much longer



7 Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex:

1. Height. Man size is 6'2" and over
2. A giant sense of humor
3. Focus
4. attentiveness
5. An open mind
6. Inner strength
7. Self  reflection and the ability to learn from his mistakes

7 Things I Say Most Often:

1. What the crap?!?
2. babe, lemme get 10 more minutes, k? Im super sleepy.
3. when you coming home?
4. Sophia, knock it off.
5. Sophia, if you dont knock it off you will get a time out.
6. OK, time out!
7.  my stomach feels nasty


7 Celebrity Crushes:

1. Daniel Craig
2. Jeff Goldblum
3. Jean Reno
4. Adrian Brody
5. Jason Statham
6. Oliver Martinez
7. Clive Owen


7 People I Want To Do This:
I dont know, does anyone even read my blogs? I never write them anymore.

As some of you may know, I quit smoking last week. I must say, its been really, really easy.
I have been taking Zyban and its like I never even smoked. So, so easy.

I really loved smoking! Im over it now, for good I hope.
In 6 days I feel better, I do better at the gym and check this out, in January my resting heart rate was in the 80's now, its in the 60's Woo-Hoo! Thats super fit. Im surprised since I am carrying about 20 pounds of chub, I would have guessed that my cardiovascular system wouldn't be that great. I was wrong.
Now I just gotta loose 20 pounds of fat!

1.

Where were you THREE hours ago?
Home, making food.



2.

What do you think of your LAST kiss?
It was a slobbery baby kiss.





3.

Are you wearing SOCKS right now?
yuck, no.





4.

When was the last time you went out of STATE?
Last summer I went to the "Couv" to visit someone.





5.

Have you been to the M0VIES in the last 5 days?
nope.





6.

What did you see? n/a
3 months ago I saw No Country For Old Men.
I should have seen it sooner.

7.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Red Wine.



8.

What are you wearing right now?
Same crap I wore to the gym. Im probably stinky.





9.

What was your last purchase?
Bunches of food for my bro-in-law.





10.

Last food you ate?
a bean/salsa thing.





11.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A music survey that I wasnt the right demographic for.





12.

Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
I wish!





13.

Do you have a pet?
A dog I dont love and 5 cats that need homes.


14.

What did you do last night?
made food and slept.





16.

If you could be anywhere you want where would it be?
IIm thinking tropics.





17.

What is the last thing you purchased online?
Etsy.com stuff for xmass. Im crazy poor but I did what I could.





18.

One thing you hate about yourself?
My know-it-all-ism. I dont mean to one up someone, I just like talking about things, I know a lil bit about so, so, many things.





19.

What’s your favorite soup?
roasted red pepper tomato.




20.

Do you miss anyone?
I do.





21.

Last movie you saw?
It is dumb, its on right now.





22.

What are your plans for the day?
For tomorrow?
Playing wif the baby, washing dishes, baking a chicken.





23.

Did you have fun today?
I did at the gym, I kicked its ass!





24.

Who is your last text message from?
Cant remember, its been 3 or 4 months since my cell broke.





25.

Were you an honor roll student in school?
Nope, I didn’t even go.





26.

What do you know about the future?
I dont even want to go there.





27.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
Husband.





29.

Do you have a tan?
I did 4 minutes in a bed 3 weeks ago so, no.




30.

How old do you want to be when you have kids?
I have 2.





31.

Did you meet anyone new today?
No, but I spied a guy there wif a GIANT weiner. It shakes when he walks. I wish I had a friend I could introduce him to. I dont.




32.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
yup.





33.

How do you like your soda?
I like water.




34.

Do you like hot sauces?
Tobasco and Tonys. I need to start makin my own.




35.

What are you doing tomorrow?
playing with my kid.




36.

What day is tomorrow?
Tuesday? One more before my big 30!




37.

What is your current mood?
Tired.





38.

Why?Because I am old and I said so!


39.

Do you remember the first person you ever kissed?
Yes and GROSSS!
My first kiss was right in front of puppet master 3 or 4 or 2 (whatev) Jesse Schumacher slobbered all over my face, it was nasty.





40.

Do you have a crush on anyone right now?
Husband, Jeff Goldbulm, Jason Statham, Tim Curry in Legend.





41.

If you could be on a TV show, which one would it be?
It would be a cooking show, fo-sho.





42.

Why?
Serious?





43.

Have you ever watched a movie and just "had" to do what they did?
not my style.



44.

Do you have a "face" you make in the mirror?
Long time ago, I totally did. Fatness killed that.





45.

Ever use someone else’s toothbrush?
yes, its annoying how people are strange about that but dont have a problem sucking cock or licking giner.
I have spent the night with friends and dipped their toothbrushes in boiling water for a sec, if that doesnt kill the bugs, fuck it.





46.

Do you like/love the person you got this survey from?
I love her.





47.

Can you whistle?
Not really and I find it wicked annoying.





48.

Can you wiggle your ears?
When I try for about 10 minutes.




49.

You have a song that comes on that you just "have" to turn up and sing to?
I like the one on my profile (kongos)






50.

Who are you thinking about right now?
Mario Batali.
I want to make sweet love to him on a bed of sausage.
(yes, husband is fine wif that)

Why did people ever start pronouncing Jaguar, Jagwyre?

And, why?

Kitty Vicious Tagged me last night. She says I am interesting, thats real sweet of her.

Here are the 6 things about me...

1. Goat cheese makes me want to vomit. Even if you sneak it into something like a ravioli, I can taste it and it makes me want to hurl. When I was 17 or 18 I lived on a farm in Texas, taking an apprenticeship in natural medicine. They had about 40 goats on the farm and the male goats smell. They smell bad! Girl goats think its pretty sexy for a boy to pee on his beard and nuzzle her nose. The disgusting, musty piss smell is the same goaty "flavor" in goat cheese. Yuck.

2. I cant drive. Im 29 and I have never learned.

3. When I was 15 and running around the northern midwest I once had a chance to work with a traveling circus, my friends and I declined and decided to keep heading to Seattle since we were supposed to meet someone there. I kick myself for not taking that chance and actually running away with the circus. Seriously, I still do.

4. I did a scene for Elliot Smith's movie, Strange Paralel. They cut my scene out but I am still credited for a role in the movie. I also did the makeup for Dave England and two of my friends. They were the Devil and his sympathizers. I got no credit for that.

5. Usually, I know that I am dreaming. One way I can tell is because its always night time in my dreams. Sometimes, I can feel that I am in bed.

6. I think Spongebob squarepants and childrens shows like that are idiotic and I restrict its viewing in my home. I know its fun and kids like it (and shows like it) but there is better stuff out there. Stuff that isnt maniacally plastered on every single thing available for kids, stuff that is educational in some way. I get some flack for this opinion.


The people I am tagging are,
Chrissy Luv
Hillary
Apple Something
James (my cousin)
Stog (especialy since he was supposed to start blogging all the time again and hasnt been)
Stahler (even though I doubt you will do it)

My cell died 2 weeks ago.

I need your phone number.

About 10 minutes ago I was out on my front porch. Its almost totally dark out and truth be told, a little creepy way out here in the "wilderness".
As I looked out beyond the orchard, I spotted a few dark shapes moving around slowly. I let my eyes get used to the dark and strained to see, trying to make sure that they were in fact, deer and not rabid coyotes or some other horrible thing. All of a sudden, one of them shook their tail and it looked just like a coyote shaking its head, I almost jumped out of my skin!
I let out a teeny yelp and just then, all four deer turn to look at me. Deer have eyes that reflect light like cats so there I was, faced with 8 glowing orbs. I tell you what, it was pretty scary. All I could think of was the scene in The Ring 2 where all the deer started attacking the car. I know, I know, it was a stupid and corny scene, I think the whole movie was dumb but its just a testament to the human imagination and its ability to get super freaked out by something as sweet and mellow as a deer.

Being a city girl out in the country is kinda freaky sometimes.

A poorly numbered survey...

1. name a quote from the song you're listening to.?
I am not istening to a song.
This was a favorite when I was a teenager.
"Safe outside my gilded cage, with an ounce of pain I wield a ton of rage, just like suicide."
I know, huh?

2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them?:
I dont wear jeans, ever.

3. What book are you reading right now?
10 minutes till bedtime, a baby book.

4. What are you seriously wearing?
I am seriously wearing a sweatshirt of the husbands and a pair of orange terrycloth sweats pants. I am wicked comfy.

5. When is the last time you saw the person you like/liked?
Last night when he told me that I really need to take my crazy ass to bed for the 400th time.

8. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep a night?
about half of the time I do. The other half, I get way less because I am stupid and stay up late.

9. Think of all your exs. Would you take any of them back?
Hells no, they all have cooties.

10. On your "lazy days" what would you be doing?
Sleeping and snugglin.

13. Who was the last person to grab your butt?
My mom!

kidding. Honestly, I think it was me, just now.


15. Do you own a pair of Converse?
Nah, I hate shoes, I have 2 pair.

16. where are you right now?
is hangover a location?

17. Do you eat raw cookie dough?
I probably would if I ever came across it.

18. Have you ever kicked a vending machine?
I have no idea, my guess is no.

23. Have you ever stayed online for a very long time waiting for someone?
no?

24. Could you live without a computer?
Nope.
Unless I was living out in the woods like some kind of survivalist.

45. Is anyone on your bad side now?
what side is my bad one?

49. Do you watch Grey's Anatomy?
zomg no. I dont do network tv.

51. Would you wear your boyfriends/girlfriends clothes?
shh, dont tell my husband that I have a girlfriend.

60. Will you keep your last name when you get married?
I did but only on accident.

62. When is the last time you left your house?
Last night, I went to the local bar and danced to brittney spears.
(im not kidding)

69. What color is your bed sheets?
What color ARE my bed sheets?
They are no color, I burnt them in the woodstove last night.
(also, not kidding-they tore)

71. Would you survive in prison?
Yup.

77. Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
Not anymore

78. How many pairs of shoes do you own?
2
A pair for cold, cold weather and a pair that I wear every day that are unsuited for anything and everything.
I hate shoes.

79. Whats the last thing you ate?
A chicken enchilada from trader joes that was covered in scrambled egg and sour cream


81. What service is your cell phone?
Nextel, I have the goofy walkie talkie

84. What's your middle name?
Lee

85. Where is your cell phone?
I have no idea

91. What irritates you most on the internet?
myspace surveys?


94. Favorite song?






Shut up, I know its a fucking commercial. The song owns me though.

96. Who should give you a dollar?
You.

97. Where do you work?
I dont work.

98. What are you doing tomorrow?
The same old same old

99. Do you always wear socks?
never ever, wtf is with the footwear questions?
I dont like stuff on my feet.

100. What's one weird fact about you that not a lot of people know?
I spent my teen years riding freight trains and touring as a nanny on a band?


101. Is most of your family alive or passed away?
Alive.
All of them.

102. Do you get your hair cut every month?
Probly twice a year

103. Do you go online every day?
Yes, I have no life

104. current realtionship status?
Married for 2 years and still crazy in love

105. Do you know anyone that has changed your life?
everyone I meet changes my life, that is a dumb question.
Everyone you meet changes your life too.

So, l had this dream last night.
I was playing mini-golf with Bob Dole
and the guys from 2 Dudes Catering. Every time they would make a shot, they would make out with each other. I vividly remember Bob Doles one good arm holding on to the guy while they smooched.
I also remember that those guys were bummed out that I wasnt about to make out with Bob Dole.

Yay for my subconscious!