Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.
Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer?
A: Barack Obama.
T-Shirt
"I Went To Europe For The Olympics And All I Got Was This Stupid Nobel Peace Prize"
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.
Q. Why wouldn’t Barack salute the American flag?
A. It was ours.
Q. What do Obama and Osama have in common?
A. They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon.
Q. Why won't Obama Messiah release his real birth certificate?
A. It got mixed in with his Rezko mortgage records and shredded.
President Obama intends to reward ambition. With higher taxes.
Q. Who should be listed as the most expensive dependent on your tax return?
A. President Obama.
President Obama is calling for more federal tax increases. He just heard from his
advisors that some American taxpayers weren't completely broke yet.
It's too bad that we can't buy stock in the federal tax system. With Obama as president that will be only thing sure to go up.
Based on his performance
in office so far, President Obama should do just fine on his future tax
returns. After all, he will be able to write off his second term.
A teacher in Elmira, New York, who is an Obama supporter, asked her 4th grade class,”How many of you are Obama fans?”
Not
really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the
teacher, all the kids raised their hands, except for Little Johnny.
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he decided to be different?
Little Johnny said, “Because I’m not an Obama fan.”
The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you an Obama fan?”
Johnny said, “Because I’m a Conservative .”
The teacher asked him why he’s a Conservative .
Little Johnny answered, ” Well, my Mom’s a Conservative and my Dad’s a Conservative, so I’m a Conservative.”
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
With a big smile, Little Johnny replied, ”That would make me an Obama fan.”
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl
on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said,
“Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a
conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
“OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat
the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow
turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why
do you suppose that is?”
Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks
about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know shit?”
"Blessed are the young, for they shall inherit Obama's national debt."
President elect Obama has arranged for
his first meeting with foreign leaders from other countries to
demonstrate his foreign policy expertise. It's scheduled to run for
five minutes.
Obama's staff is preparing for his first press conference as President. They're busy writing the questions.
New Barack Channel (NBC)
Another Barack Channel (ABC)
My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)
Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Karl Marx had way more experience.
Q. What will America's national bird be when Obama takes office?
A. His middle finger.
"The most popular headline at the Real Clear Politics Web site the
other day was: "Is Obama Becoming A Joke?" With brilliant comedic
timing, the very next morning the Norwegians gave him the Nobel Peace
Prize. Up next: His stunning victory in this year's Miss World contest.
Dec. 12, Johannesburg. You read it here first.
For what, exactly, did he win the Nobel? As the president himself put it:
"When
you look at my record, it's very clear what I have done so far. And
that is nothing. Almost one year and nothing to show for it. You don't
believe me? You think I'm making it up? Take a look at this checklist."
And up popped his record of accomplishment, reassuringly blank."
Erick Erickson: Obama is becoming Jimmy Carter faster than Jimmy Carter became Jimmy Carter.