if someone reads this within the next 40 minutes, can you please record Heroes for me tongiht thanks you're the best. i missed the first 50 minutes because for some reason my tv is broken and likes to play tv 2 hours ahead of time.

p.s. texas time blows.

...via first class; a personal reflection by michael warren

Cool.

The end.

forgot to bring underwear to paso. had to go to kohls to get some new ones. never been there before. it sucks. everything was all over the place kinda like ross but more expensive. thought i got lucky cause there were tons of size large (thats right lady im talking penis size not waist) so i grabbed a couple packs. then i looked at the back and was surprised to find i am no longer a size large. apparently america has become so FAT that a size large is for waists 38+. 38 freaking plus! what the hell man. and just my luck there were NO mediums. and god forbid there be any other place to go to in stupid paso robles. so i bought larges and have yet to try them on. i'm hoping they somewhat f it. the one good thing was that it was a buy two packs get one free type deal so i decided to get a pair of those boxer briefs i've been meaning to try out. found the medium i needed and let me tell you there is much support and it makes me look even huger than i already am.

ok that was s tupid. how sad am I? seriously i have to like talk up my goods cause i am pathetic and all i have to talk about is stupid paso robles. who cares about paso robles/ i don't even enjoy talking about paso robles. but i have no life. i have nothing else to talk about. why am i even writing in here? because i have nothing to do. i think im ready to move out of the state or something. i need something new in my life. a jumpstart if you will. i dunno what im doing anymore. you know what I miss? feeling happy. genuinely truly happy. sure theres good times but they are just distractions from the lull of my life. i want to wake up refreshed and excited about being alive. maybe im eing an asshole i dunno. i have it a lot better than a lot of people. i shouldnt be complaining abotu anything. don't ever go to Anna's Place. worst microwaved mexican food i have ever had in my life. oh yeah the city of Templeton sucks too.

paso robles has officially become my home away from home. the hotel i've been staying at is pretty solid. the hampton inn i beleive. the room isnt that nice. but you get a lot of bang for your buck such as free internet, free "wine tasting" and cheese in the evening, and free continental breakfast, which might I add has quite an impressive spread for being a continental breakfast. They also have your traditional amenities such as pool/spa and gym. the gym sucks ass though. the machines are all like 20 years old and unstable. and for some reason I got a swollen lip while i was in there for no reason. it was really strange. i'm hoping i didnt contract herpes somehow.

the people in paso robles are finally coming around to me as well. it got a little sketchy at one point when Steve(co-worker) and I were eating at the local Margie's Diner. You see, I ordered this massive mushroom burger that was overloaded with sauteed mushrooms. I dont even know how you are expected to eat them in your burger. but anyway, being the nice guy i am, i offered some to Steve, but he kindly rejected. so i said ok sweet more for me. and then like 15 minutes later the waitress came back and asked steve if i offered him any and he said NO. and this waitress gave me the dirtiest look in the world. a look of pure hatrid. and i told her he's lyuing i did offer. but she was like you are so selfish. and steve just kept saying nope he never heard me offer. freaking jerk. so then i went to pay and this waitress was still giving me crap while i was signing for the bill and I forgot to give her a tip. but i didnt realize this until after I got back to the hotel and  i felt really bad. cause for sure she hates my guts now. anyway short story made long, I went back the next day after work and gave her a tip and she was grateful. so i can show my face in margies diner once again. hooray...

sticking with the food theme, I am officially on the subway diet. ive had it for liunch for about 5 daysin the last week and a half. its because its the only place to eat near the client. if i have to eat another subway sandiwch i will cut my throat.

in other news i joined a bolwing league and played our first game last week. i pretty much sucked it up the ass and we got dominated pretty hard.

oh so last week i had this dream that the world was actually controlled by this superior race and we were all just like their little science experiment. put in this world to see what would happen. and then they came to the planet and made everyone go into this weird test center where they would talk to you and ask you questions and during this whole time they would be monitoring your brain activity and see how smart you are. and for the stupid people they would just kill off right there whereas the smarter ones were spared and used as slaves to do stuff for htem. so anyway, when i got tested i was so nervous. he was asking me simple questions and i was having trrouble answering them. so i told them you know i'm really nervous i'm sorry. and he was really nice to me. you know you talk to this unidentifiable life form you expect some evil non-compassionate creature. but he actually was very ggentle andkind. anyway  they let me live and than i wanted to start a revolution to overthrow them becuas mike will be slave to no one. but then somehow they found out and came to kill me

Day 2

ate a donut for breakfast.

"worked".

ate burrito.

"worked" some more

worked out at gym, no quotations because i prolly worked harder than i did at work

got haircut

ate more food

watched a's lose

went on facebook got scared. came back to myspace

The end.

So I was thinking about this the other day. Would it or would it not be cool if we all planned to have babies at or around the same time so they would have guaranteed friends and everyone would be friends forever?

speaking of babies, i have realized that i will be a pretty shitty father. don;'t get me wrong, I love kids and i love babies and all i want to be in life is be a good father and spawn lots of warren offspring. but for some reason babies hate me. they cry when i look at them. i dont understand it. its prolly the same reason i can't meet new people because i want everyone to like me so much its awkward and i cant be myself and babies probably for sure pick up shit like that. so life goal number 2 failed even before ive ever had a kid. i think i should just stop giving a crap about things. if babies don';t like me screw them. screw the Man too. i'm tired of the Man and their lies. don't you htink everything is like out of control these days. shouldnt everyone be worried about important issues like the environment and how our planet is dying and how our kids, screw the babies still, will probably die because hte planet will not be able to sustain life. but no. the Man would rather deal with other stupid things. and not just our Man. everyone's Man. they all would rather deal with other things and be greedy and take money from people. health care? sucks ass. i can't believe i have to pay for this crap now. its such a rip off. i have no idea how poor people can even survive. and everyone treats them like crap too. the Man keeping people down. and thetn everyone is god damn lazy to vote or keep up with shit that people do whatever the hell they want in power positions cause everyone is to chicken shit to stand up to anything. and im not saying i am any better than anyone else cause i am just as guilty as everyone else. but at least i try to stay informed and question shit. some people don't even do that. people are so complacent with things. damn man push yourself and reach for the best and all that crap. but i suppose that is easier said than done too.damnit and  im afraid i am just as guilty again. i wish i had the balls to just do some of the stuff I want to do but am too scared of doing. this country makes you feel like if you don't do what your supposed to you have the chance of sucking ass the rest of your life. i am such a weak ass idiot i should just take a chance sometimes. i dont even know what im talking baout anymore.

I can;t believe my last post was like 4 months ago. how did i ever let it get to this? meh

my life has been pretty crazy in these last 4 months. i;ve had a tough time dealing with my mom's cancer. my dad's been having an even harder time though i think. one of the hardest things to watch is seeing your own dad cry. you grow up thinking he is the strongest guy in the world and that he knows everything and to see him cry and break down, you can't help but be taken a back. it's hard.

I'm not sure all of it has really hit me. but I dont knowif it is because I;d like to think that she will beat it and get better or if psychologically I will not allow myself to actually comprehend the extremity of hte situation. irregardless, i really hope she gets better. i dunno what i would do if the worst case scenario occured (God forbid). I dunno I feel like my whole life is one jumbled mess. Should I even be capitalizing God? Do i really believe in a God anyhmore? i dont know. I used to. I used to think that good people get rewarded for being good. I used to think that God watched out for good people. I used to think that God helped you out when you really needed it. I don't know what I beleive in anymore. I want to beleive in something, but how can I beleive in a god who can just turn his back on you whenever he wants? oh but mike he has a plan. bullshit. I feel like such an asshole too to even be thinking these things. I'll probably go to hell. if there is a hell.

i dont even know what i'm talking about. its so frustrating sitting here and trying to type out all the shit that is going through my head. Ive gotten so used to ignoring and repressing my feelings that I have no idea how to get them across. I feel like a god damn first grader.

I hope this doesnt come across as some stupid plea for pity. thats why i dont open up because i dont want people thinking that i just want their pity. thius is probably what this all sounds like though. oh well screw you if thats what you think. you're not a friend if thats what you think. i'm doing this for myself so I can get better at getting these emotions out. i'm tired of being all bipolar all the time and getting mad at stupid little things just cause i have so much bottled up crap. I dont want to go crazy and flip out in a couple years if i don't have to. id rather spend my money on other shit like computers or some crap.

another thing i'm tired of is being walked over al lthe time. i'm tired of people taking advantage of myanti-conflict demeanor. i'm tired of people not taking me serious. i feel like people think i am a joke . im tired of getting made fun of all the time. and i'm tired of not having enough confidence in myself where i just have to sit there and take it.

so how the hell did i ever let it get to all this? 

today is the last day of tax season. who cares? not me really. well actually i guess i kinda do because that means i get saturdays back and no more working til 8 pm every day. yay normal job hours i am so lucky.

hmm what has been going on? probably the biggest news is me moving into my new place. its been an interesting experience so far. kinda boring actually. my room is pretty much all set up now. i guess i'll take pictures some time but im kinda lazy so instead if you want to see set up an appointment and i will give yo uthe grand tour. KAY? i like it so far. its nice and new and hte community is really nice. the downside is getting locked out of your own bathroom and theres pretty crappy freeway access round here. that is all

so i was summoned for stupid jury duty a while ago. i have to call in on friday to see if i have to show up next week. not very excited about that. hmm hwat else. i dunno there hasnt been too much going on. i'm boring yes. actually i just thought of something to write about but now im too lazy so maybe tomorrow if there is enough interest. but apparently there isnt considering no one has viewed my myspace  today. bewwww :(

K BYE!!!!

i have now officially crossed over to the world of 23. I'd like to thank everyone for helping make it a good transition. Thanks for the awesome gifts guy; you really made my day. I feel so old its not even funny. actually not really, its kinda weird. like i know im 23 but i feel like im freaking 18 or something. time to grow up? prolly!

today was kinda eh. freaking so tired. i just wanted to sleep at work. but the cool thing is, i had my first professional massage. yeah thats right, the company hired a massuese to come in and give us each 20 min back rubs cause of busy season. and dont get me wrong i was a littel skeptical at first. am i supposed to tip? is it gonna be awkward? am i supposed to talk? do i make eye contact? what if i fall asleep? what if i fart? all these thoughts danced through my head all morning, as I anxiously awaited my turn for a massage.And in no time, 2 pm rolled around - it was my turn. walking down to the room, I felt as though I was finally becoming a man. nerves raced through my body. and then there I was, standing in the dim non-lit room, face to face with the acclaimed massage lady. It was just like the dreams I've had a million times before. She extends her soft delicate hands to introduce herself and I return the gesture, palms sweaty from nervousness. the door shuts behind us. "unbutton your shirt" she whispers. and almost methodically, without any thought, I unbutton the top two buttons of my grey, pressed dress shirt, completely caught up in the emotion. Gently, she motions for me to sit on her chair. I submit. "oh, you're supposed to sit down the other way" she suggests. my cheeks flush red in embarrassment, but I play it cool as I take my seat. "It's my first time" I say, slightly ashamed. "just relax" she replies. her warm hands embrace my body and begin to roll up and down my back, all with the special touch only a professional can possess. Immediately, I knew she had done this before.

eh ok so i'm kinda bored with that now. that took way too long to write so long story short, it was freaking awesome. I was so mesmorized that i left the room with my shirt still unbuttoned walking down the halls of my workplace like an idiot. it was so awesome I need to have another. al onger one. ohh babby.

the rest of the dya went by very, VERY slowly. I was so tired and bored and I just wanted to go home. 630 rolled around, and I am outtah ere. but then i get a phone call. Its harish or whatever his name is from the hockey teaem I've joined. "hi mike its harish" " oh hi harish i'm so excite to play" "well thats what i wanted to talk to you about" "the roster is already filled, you cant be on the team. but if anyone doesnt show up, i'll call you" "oh ok" bewwww. and so you have it. i have been ruined once again from playing hockey this season. perhaps its a blessing in disguise? i can use the time to heal and strengthen my shoulder? yes perhaps. ok bye thanks again for the bday guys.

be ready for tomorrow, the funnest night you will ever have...

so I dislocated my shoulder again. It wasnt even cool how it happened. I just fell and it came out. Looks like I'll have to have surgery on it or something because it seems like it will just come out anytime I fall. Prolly go to a specialist sometime this week to see what the best thing to do at this point is. This is pretty much one of the worst things that could happen to me right now. I was so stoked for the hockey season. It was seriously all I looked forward to every week. My one hour of hockey. Yueah  I know I am lame. i have other things to look forward to right? Not really. Figure if this surgery goes down thats 3 to 6 months of rehab, not to mention a month and a half of my arm in a sling. There goes most of summer. And to top it all off, this just had to happen right before my birthday of all days. Its pretty hard not to get down on yourself about all this crap. It seems like this kind of shit seems to happen to me a lot? What the hell am I doing wrong? God damn. I guess I should look at the bright side? Whats the bright side though?

this http://tapmachine.com/main.html

+

this http://www.bestbuy.com/site/olspage.jsp?skuId=7299014&type=product&productCategoryId=pcmcat31800050029&id=1118841724921

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YOU BEING MY FRIEND