So last night Laura and I are watching Studio 60, and we heard a loud thump. We thought to ourselves "fenderbender", if you've ever seen our little corner of the word you would understand why. Being the rubber neckers that we are, we went out to our porch to see what was going on. A toyota was on it's side with the tires still reving and a telephone pole was split in half.

I ran to the car to see a women not able to get out, this other guy and I peeled the glass out of the rear driver's side window and I lifted her out of the car. She was pretty shakin' up by the whole thing we walked her to the curb and sat her down. Laura the ever relaxed one, made sure she was OK, there were car seats in the back so this other guy and I made sure that there was anybody else in the car, there wasn't thank god.

The guy and I talked while the Medics were working on her, he said that he was behind her and she was swerving all over the road then plowed into the pole. 

It was a crazy night.

Let me walk you through the weekend.

My beautiful wife Laura and I drop our son off at about 8Am. Then we go pack the car and head off about 9. It takes us about 51/2 hours to get there, after a nice little stop at the duty free. ($24 dollar carton of Cigs, can't beat that). We cross the border. The canadian border patrol asks a lot of personal questions I was not prepared for. Like what is your name? what do you do for a living? and soforth. I didn't know that I was going to be psychoanalized by a freakin french canadian. I was like "if you really want to know, I always saw myself as an actor but I got stuck in the security industry which leaves me professionally wanting more, but never able to live my dream of doing tide commercials for a pittance and the chance to be an extra on entourage or fat actress": lol I just said "I am in the security industry". He waived me through, I guess I don't look as dangerous as I used too.

We get to the hotel, The marriot fallsview. I should of known something was amiss when the Valet told me that the service was free, but the front desk still charged me $20.00 a night to park. The will get your car for free, but rent you a mandatory space. How nice.

We look at the falls, pretty but it makes you want to pee. The dinner at the worst olive garden "wanna be" named My Cousin Vinnie's (I'm Serious). For a meal that was edible. After that we were waiting for the next day's direct depost to go through so we blew some money at the Roulete Table. Got a bottle of wine and watched X-men 3 on spectra vision. That was a good evening.

Be prepared for "The Canadian Saga" Part two to be posted later, I have to go home and pee, just thinking of the falls does something to my insides.

So Rummy call everyone who opposes  the administration is equal to facists. Now I have heard everthing.  These people are alumni of the ivy league. I went to a state school (it's obvious in my spelling), and even I know that if you don't know the meaning of a word you shouldn't use it. Bellow I have posted the deffinition, pay attention to the second line. These people are in charge. Everytime you think well it can't get any funnier it does. How do comedy writers keep up? Sometime I wish a roving black hole would come a swallow us up at least you could say " You don't see that everyday"

 fas..