So...

Mom: Pretty much fully recovered! She's a trooper let me tell you! She's had to go through some difficult times...but she's almost 100% healed and back to her normal self.

Grandma: Passed away last Tuesday. She was such an AMAZING person! I hope my life is everything like hers! She was so beautiful until the day she died. She was my best friend, and she was like the oracle of advice! She was always there for me...and I hope and pray that she is in such a wonderful place, but also looking over me.

Amgen (work): Layoffs happened yesterday! And I was saved! YAY! Now hopefully, we can all move forward and focus on work, not the pending layoffs and if we're the ones that will be axed!

I am hoping that now that all seems to be over and the bad things have passed...life can start moving forward! Bright Sunshine, rather than black clouds. Happiness instead of sadness.

Thank you to all of you who have been there for me and sent me reassuring words and messages. I'm sorry if I haven't responded to all of them...but know that your messages made me smile!

 Here's to a crazy 2 months...but to better times!

So this is an update on my life's dramas!! All I ask is to give me comments to make me smile and laugh...laughter is the BEST medicine in my book!!

Mom: She's healing and feeling a bit better. She still is home, where she should be resting...but other things are going on in our life right now that are preventing her to relax and rest the way she should be (see below). But, I wanted to thank those of you who have put her in your thoughts and prayers...they definitely worked!! She is very appreciative of all the love and support she has been given!

Grandma: About 1 day after my mom had a good appointment with the doctor, telling her she is getting better and the family is on the road to recovery, my grandma (dad's mom) was sent to ICU, due to a stroke and pneumonia, on top of her already existing COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). This has been a rollercoaster ride as well. After MANY scary days, going from the worst, to the best, then back...she is moving into my parent's house to "be comfortable". I now ask you to keep her in your thoughts and prayers, and to give my dad, mom, and us the strength to get through this. Our family has really pulled together during this time, and it is such a blessing to see the family working as a team! I love them all!!

Work: With layoffs looming in the very near future...I have had to take life, family and employment, one day at a time. I have found the positive in all of this, and am working hard to believe that there will be good news, good life and less stress around the corner! There has to be, right?

I know that the 10yr reunion is coming up...so hopefully good times and reuniting with old friends is in my future! I have a fun Ireland/London trip coming up in November to reunite with my best friend/practically brother, Capt. Todd Barrett, who is serving his country in Iraq! (Miss ya sweetie...looking forward to drinking some Guinness with ya!)

Thank you to those who have been supportive and positive through all of this. If you have tried to email me, call me, or tried to contact me with any method, and I have not returned correspondance, I apologize and will get back to that soon!

?Love you all...and thanks again!   

Here are the updates I've sent to family and friends on my mom. The most recent one is below (08/21/2007). Thank you all for thinking of us and keeping her in your thoughts and prayers!

08/14/2007

Hi all,
 
I just wanted to update you on mom's recovery. Since I last emailed (the night of the surgery, Thursday 08/09/2007), so many positive improvements have been made!!
 
Friday: She got up and started to walk (but not very far)
Saturday: She walked a bit more, not much. Still wasn't eating.
Sunday: She walked 3 laps around the 6th floor of the hospital (a HUGE improvement from the previous days!) Still couldn't keep any liquids down. One alerting thing was in the blood test they took that day, her White blood cell count was a bit high, which meant a slight infection. They hooked her up to some heavy duty penicillin to kill anything that tried to interfere with her recovery!!
Monday: Yesterday was a success!! She was able to eat broths and jello and keep them down. She walked 9!! laps around the floor. The catheter was removed and the heart monitor was removed. So, she was a big girl. Also...pathology report came in and there is NO CANCER!!!  It was a good news day!!!
Monday night: ALL SYSTEMS ARE WORKING!! (If you need any more details on this part...email me. But I figure it's pretty clear! )
Today: The surgeon saw her and told her he was going to allow soft solids for food. He said he would see her tomorrow to see how the soft solids were. So, it looks like her might release her tomorrow or Thursday, depending on how her body takes the solids, how her blood looks, and they want to make sure there is no infection!
 
I want to thank you all for keeping her in your thoughts and prayers, for your support, and all the nice flowers and plants that have been sent! Without all of you, this would have been harder! Thank you for being there and sending me messages! I will let you know when she is released and back in the comfort of her own home! When she is released, I will go back down there to help out any way I can. Call me if you have any questions or email me as I will be checking my email regularly!

She was released from the hospital from her surgery stay on Wednesday 08/15/2007.

08/21/2007

I wanted to let those of you that I haven't updated know what's going on with my mom.
 
Saturday afternoon (08/18/2007), as my parents and I sat down to watch "Ferris Bueler's Day Off", I noticed mom not looking too well. I asked what was wrong and she said she just didn't feel right. I then noticed she got up and left the room. I went to find her and she was sitting in front of a fan, breathing quite deeply. I asked what was wrong, and she told me she was having trouble breathing. After a discussion with her, I had decided to call her surgeon for advice. He told me that we needed to take her to the ER because there are concerns for post-op patients to have lung clots (or any blood clot for that matter). So, speed racer dad drove us to Hoag Hospital's ER. After 8 hours in the ER (4:30pm - ~12:15am), 2 cat scans, blood tests, and listening to all the chaos that surrounds an ER, mom was admitted to the hospital with no lung clot (hooray!), but lots of extra gas/air in her colon and stomach area and an increased white blood cell count (indicating infection). She has been at the hospital ever since (and so have we) and frustratingly, still don't have very many answers.
 
The answers we got today were...the image they noticed in the cat scan on Saturday and this morning, was not an abscess as they thought, but a lot of air outside the colon, indicating either a leak from the resectioned colon or from a pocket in her colon (the ones that line her colon, diverticulosis). Mom feels good (except the pain in her abdomen), looks good, and wants to go home. But, due to her increased WBC count and need for antibiotics, they are keeping her overnight yet again. (Sat - tomorrow...if not longer). The surgeon told us today that we are to wait for her to heal and hopefully when the incision heals, no more air will escape and she will be fine. So, we are waiting for an Infectious Diseases doctor to figure out the next step for treatment with antibiotics, when her WBC count will decrease, and then next week sometime, she will have another cat scan to determine the amount of air in her abdomen area.
 
It has been just a waiting game the past week...and will continue to be one until she completely heals. Please keep her in your prayers. We appreciate all of your support. I will let you know the outcome.
 
Thanks again for all of your emails, calls, texts, and prayers! I apologize if I've not responded or have missed them...it's been a bit hectic.
 
Thanks again.
~Lisa
xoxox

I'm sorry if I haven't responded to your messages, emails, and some of your calls. It's been very hectic and I have been very tired. Thank you very much for all of your support and prayers. Let's hope she will heal and this is over!!

I don't know how to start this...so here I go.

I'm very scared, confused, frustrated...oh, I have so many emotions I don't know which one to concentrate on. Let me give you a bit of history before I tell you why I have all of these emotions.

In the Past: When I was 9, my grandmother (my mom's mom) died of colon cancer. It sucked and I was too young to grasp what was really going on. As my mom became older and hit the age for testing for colon cancer, she has been having colonoscopies regularly. They have found pollups, removed them, but have come back negative! YAY! About 2 years ago, my mom was in SEVERE pain. She was having awful, disgusting symptoms (that I will not gross you out with). Most of the times, she was curled up in a ball, moaning on the couch. The doctors told her she has a disease and infection called diverticulosis and diverticulitis. This is where in your colon, pockets form and sometimes food gets stuck in these pockets, creating much pain and huge infections. They gave her every med and thing they could think of. About 1 1/2 yrs ago, it came time for my mom to have her regular colonoscopy. They attempted it...no go. Because of the pockets in her colon, the scar tissue from the disease, and the inflammation in the colon, the scope could not go through. She then took lots of anti-inflammatory meds, altered her diet, etc. 6 months later, they tried again. (Now, let me remind you...the prep for these things is AWFUL! and to do it multiple times is extremely exhausting and not fun. To give you an idea...you can't eat for 2 days, you have to take laxatives and drink this nasty stuff to clean out your system). Again...no success. They have done barium enemas, cat scans, MRIs to see what's going on. She is also having other awful complications that I will not go into do to her privacy.

Now: She hasn't had the colonoscopy she needs to diagnose if she has pollups and cancer. They did do another very thorough barium enema, and according to that, no cancer showed. There is a small part of her colon that is dead and has too much scar tissue to have a colonoscopy, and in time, it's going to get worse and worse. My mom is scheduled on August 9th to have surgery to cut out that part of her colon and fix a few other problems. BUT...here is where the emotions are rising. According to the results of the barium test, she has these pockets along the lining of most of her colon. The doctor needs a healthy section of colon to attach when they remove the dead section. IF they can't find one and have to continue cutting...she will end up with a colostomy bag for the rest of her life. This will turn her world upside down! I am also scared because she has NEVER been in surgery and she is tiny. I don't like to think of her under for a long period of time. 

For those of you who know my mom, have met her, and remember her...her motto was "I may be short and small, but I'm tough!" She is...and I try to be...but this is tearing me apart! I need your thoughts, words of support, and just your friendship in these times to get me through this. August 9th seems so far away, but is only 3 weeks away. PLEASE PLEASE keep her in your thoughts, prayers, and help me get through this. I keep telling myself she will be fine, the doctors won't let a bag replace her colon...but he told her they won't know until they go in and see it.

Sorry this has been so long...but it's been balled up inside and I needed to let it out. Thank you for being there for me in this difficult time. Again, I will need words of hope and just to know you will be there for me if I need extra love and support.

Thank you my friends! Love you

~Lisa

Everyone,

James and I had a sobering evening yesterday after leaving our mom's house.  We went to visit Todd's mom (for those of you who don't know, Todd is our best friend who is fighting for the second time over in Iraq).  While there, she told us some awful things that Todd hasn't been communicating to anyone but her.  As you all know, the troops over there aren't being given the material aid that they need.  That's old news.  But what I wasn't aware of  was just how BAD it really is. 

Shannon shared with us that Todd has had to ask her to send even the most basic things, LIKE WATER.  I kid you not, Todd has had to ask that she send liquids, of any kind, because they are only given 1 LITER/DAY.  He's "fighting for democracy" over in Iraq and yet the government can't supply him or his troops with adequate water or food.  Shannon also told us that he is in 104 degrees heat (and increasing), in full gear, only allowed the 1 liter of water/day!! to drink, and is given fans that don't even work. He has to sleep with a rifle every night. He has already lost about 12 soldiers in his unit/squadron (and been there only 2 MONTHS!) and he is in the thick of it. Shannon sends Todd food and water everyday.  She does it so often that the postal workers at the HB post office know Shannon personally.  She showed us the boxes and boxes of food and water that she sends him.  Obviously, it's not cheap for her to send these large packages every day, but she does it because he's her son and because the government isn't doing its job. 

James and I both felt guilty after leaving Shannon's for not doing more for Todd.  The fact that we had just spent the day with family and enjoyed an incredible feast made us feel even worse when we realized that Todd is without adequate food and water.

It's despicable and I think he deserves better. 

The only way to help is to join Shannon in sending Todd supplies and to write our political leaders about this atrocity.  Please take some time to send a quick email to our leaders to let them know that their constituents won't put up with our friends and family overseas being treated this way.

I've found the contact information for some politicians we can write.  The House rep is for Ventura, but you can easily find your local rep on www.house.gov.  These sites have a link at the bottom you can click on to send an email.

Here's our House representative:

http://www.house.gov/gallegly/

Here is the Democratic Majority leader in the House:

http://hoyer.house.gov/

Here's the Speaker of the House:

http://www.house.gov/pelosi/

Here's the House Committee on Armed Services:

http://armedservices.house.gov/

Here's the House Committee on Veterans' Affairs

http://veterans.house.gov/

And of course, here are our Senators:

http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm?State=CA

James and I are going to compose letters and send them to each of these individuals/groups.  The more they hear from us the better.  They need to know that their constituents are outraged (at the very least) by the lack of material support for our troops.  Not to mention that we want them to come home.

If you'd like to send Todd letters or packages let me know and I'll give you his address.  He is desperate to hear from us.  The times I've spoken to him, he sounds like a different person.  He's not the same gung-ho GI anymore.  He's in the thick of very heavy fighting and he wants out.

Thank you and please help!
~Lisa

Friends....

What is a "true friend"?

Am I your true friend if when you come to me with feelings and you need someone to talk to...I listen? Or to be a "true friend", do I have to comment on what you have to say and how you feel?

What if you "read" into some body language that you think that I am "not interested" in what you have to say...is this my fault? And now you don't come to me to talk? Does this make sense? Shouldn't you let me know that I am making these "bodily movements" that you read into so I know not to do them anymore? And if I have NO CLUE that I'm doing them...is it really because I'm not interested? Shouldn't you ask me if I'm not interested? Have you even thought that maybe you're reading too much into how I move?

Have you ever had a friend where they have come to you time and time again to tell you about their worries, frustrations, fears, angers, upsets...and you have listened time and time again? Have you ever heard about something so much that you do and say as much as you possibly can to make this person feel better, and when everything you have said and done fails...you become the friend that just listens? But then when the person is so upset, time after time about this one particular thing, they take it out on you because "you don't comment on it anymore" and they "don't come to you anymore because you are not interested" (and they KNOW this because of your body language?) What body language you ask (and so did I)? I "stiffen up". Huh? What does that mean? I stiffen up = me not interested. Ahhhhh yes! Doesn't this make sense to you? If it does..can you explain this to me...because I obviously need to take the class "Friends who read friend's body language".  

Oh...and then there are these events your friend wants to go to, but she knows "he"'ll be there...so you do some research and ask people vaguely if "he" will be at all the events, or just specific ones....because by being a "true friend", you want to alleviate any and all fears your friends might have. Ahhh, you find out that "he" will only be there on a certain day every week...you tell her, so that maybe she can still go to the events, except on that specific day. Am I being a "true friend"? I say yes. And what if you have gone to a similar event and don't want to go to this one (at all!), but your friend begs and pleads you to sign up because "he" might be there...are you an awful friend to not sign up?

I know there are insecurities here that I will never be able to crack nor will I ever understand the depth of these feelings...but have I been a bad friend? No...I don't think so. Am I confused now that she is upset with me because of what she has to face soon? Yes! Have I been there for her, EVERY DAY, time after time, to listen, to give her words to motivate her, to give her the sense of strength and self-empowerment? Yes! Is it my fault that I have lost the words to say to help her since she has lost the ability to listen? When words go through a person as you speak to them, smack the wall behind them, and then slowly ooze down to the floor...do you want to continue to speak? Not me. I try thinking that maybe some words will stick to her...but more recently, my words line the wall of her office. It's sad, but I am exhausted and hurt, because I feel that her insecurities have been completely taken out on me...one of her closest friends, and the words that she said last night to me made me feel that all of those hours of listening, advice, attempts to cheer her up, were worthless...I am a bad friend she says to me...not in those exact words, but to me "I don't come to you anymore because you seem bored listening to me" = "You are not a good friend". Target = my heart, insert dagger here and repeat. Oh..don't forget the salt.

If you have any advice to give...I will listen! The words will stay with me...not on the screen of my monitor! Thank you for listening. You are a "true friend".

I was tagged...DOH!

I was tagged so here are my 10 facts/habits about myself......


1. I have a 3-legged, 18 pound cat

2. I work in a research lab at a company that benefits patients' lives

3. I play(ed) the flute

4. At work, I get to play with human and mouse cells!

5. I'm not even 5'0 (eventhough my profile says I am!)

6. I'm training for a 1/2 marathon (race is March 31st)

7. I am moving to a place on a hill that overlooks the ocean and Channel Islands in Ventura!

8. I have never seen snow fall (Todd and James tried to change that this past Christmas, but Mother Nature didn't abide!)

9. I am one of the most organized people I know. People actually make fun of me sometimes.

10. I belong to 3 wine clubs and go wine tasting every few months.

Tagged.... Pete, Vince, Vanessa, Cierra, Shelley, Mike (I have a few Mikes, so if you're name is Mike and you're reading this...you've been tagged!), Kaimi, Angela, Jessica, Myrna, and Caleb!!

Each player starts with 10 random facts/habits about themselves. People who get tagged need to write their own blog about their ten things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 10 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog!

When we lose someone we know, whether it be family, close friends, or friends from years ago, it still affects me deeply. I can't explain it, but I lost my grandma, who I wish I knew better, when I was 9; I lost my grandpa, who I was very close to, a few years ago...and when there is a death, it feels like I shut down.

After hearing about our good friend from school, Leland, I was in shock. I didn't know what to say, what to do...and the thing is, I knew Leland, but we weren't EXTREMELY close, you know? We hung out in Middle School, had classes together in High School, and every time I saw him, I would smile and he would smile right back. We'd talk, laugh... we were friends. After graduating, we went our separate ways...but I still had these great memories. So, after a while of soaking in the death of Leland, I began to think of all these wonderful things, his smile, and how friendly he was to EVERYONE! He didn't care if you were in a popular crowd or if you were a band-o! He loved everyone for who they were! And this is when it hit me....I couldn't hold in the tears. WHY did this horrible thing have to happen to someone who was so loving and so down to earth???? WHY did he have to suffer??? Why did this man who had a huge heart and a strong will to live have to have his life end so abrupbtly and tragically??? 

These memories we all have of him playing football, smiling, laughing, and keeping cool....are what we need to let us grieve and say good-bye! Whether we saw him a week ago or 10 years ago....I don't know about you...but those memories of him is what I will always hold close to my heart!

We will miss you Leland! My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of Leland! We will miss you.

So this is my first blog. I don't really understand the concept of blogs nor do I really need to, I guess. But, I thought I would try it out.

I've been really pushing myself recently...exercising, competing, and just trying to live life to it's fullest. I want to be the happiest I can be, but sometimes, I feel I can't be happy to the fullest because there's something I have to do to "make me happier". I find myself saying to James "Once we....do this, buy that, have gone here..." etc, James looks at me and says "When will you be COMPLETELY happy??" I am completely happy, and that's what he doesn't understand. I just look forward to the next stage of my life...but should I? Should I just stop thinking about how "happy" we will be if we surpass certain obstacles in life? I am happy...I am probably the happiest I've been in many years...so I should continue on living in the now!

Something caught my ear...and upset me: I was at the YMCA last week and I overheard and saw something that really upset me! 2 young girls, probably 10 or 12 years old...skinny as heck! The one girl was probably 5'5" and she weighed 80 lbs....her legs were skinnier than my arms! Anyway, they were there getting ready to work out (Note: at 8pm on a Tuesday...school night!!) The one, shorter girl, got on the scale and said "Yes, I lost 0.5lbs!". The other girl, tall and looking anorexic, went on the scale, and shreiked! She jumped off the scale and said "I've gained 10lbs!!!! DO YOU KNOW how much 10lbs IS??? I am SOOOO fat!! We need to go work out right now! And YOU lied to me...you said you weighed more than you do!!" She was obviously upset...and confused. Does she not realize that at her age, gaining weight is a GOOD thing?!?! Our society has pushed these youngin's to the point of anorexia to look thin...at age 12, I was worried about who was coming over to my slumber party on the weekend, and if a boy liked me, and calling my friends for homework questions!! And, I must ask, where are their parents?? Would you let your 10 or 12 yr old be "working out" on a school night at 8pm?? Well, I wouldn't! Also, I wouldn't allow my child to think they needed to work out....stay fit, be active, and eat right...YES! Work out on a daily basis to stay skinny..NO!! What is this world coming to????