My happiness is empty, my thoughts oblique

I hear a quivered tone everytime I speak

My sunshine casts a shadow on the sunniest of days

The most beautiful of lilies destroyed by thorns and frays

Each joyful laugh and smile, adorned with starlit eyes,

My heartfelt hugs and kisses deliver subtle lies

My hands are cold in prayer although my faith now fades

And with each glistened eyelid, my memory cascades

I'm holding out my hand to feel a chill upon my skin

A facade of friendly greetings though I'm screaming deep within

A love so vain and broken is all I have to give

How can I keep good company when I can barely live?

written by: Carysse Arielle

They say home is where the heart is

...I just think it's a place you know

If there is one thing I'm sure of

It is that I'm not sure at all

I'm as free as the wind from the earth

Yet trapped by my inconsistencies

Will I ever find happiness at 'home'

Or forever be bound by my knowledge of a place?

written by: Carysse Arielle

That God Himself grew green

Yet now as a woman I find myself mourning

Over all I've left unseen

I feel I'm going nowhere though I'm soaring through the times

I feel my knowledge dwindling within an idle mind

My light is burning slowly with every drag I take

With every impassioned notion, another stark mistake

And every opened eye turned towards a ready stage,

A young, impatient actress with many wars to wage

I'd like to be an astronaut, a pilot of the worlds

Or maybe Cinderella, giving hope to little girls

I'd like to live and smile and breathe...

I'd like to awaken to all my unlived dreams

written by: Carysse Arielle

So I'm just wondering what exactly I've done to deserve the sort of treatment that I constantly receive from everyone around me.  What did I ever do to you people?  I came to this school praying for relief from the whole high school drama mentality, instead my troubles increased a hundred fold and I have to live with the people who harrass and ridicule me on a regular basis.  I have done nothing wrong, but be myself.  If you have a problem with the person I am or the way I act, then fine.. You don't HAVE to be nice to me.. You don't even have to talk to me.  But at least have the decency to leave me be.  There are plenty of things about people that I don't entirely like as well, but I don't make it a point to go out of my way to harrass them.  I don't know if you all just consider me an easy target, or just a terrible human being or whatever.  But I'm not that bad.  I'm always nice to people I meet until they give me a reason not to be, and even then I would never dream of hurting them whether it be physically or mentally.  There are a lot of things about me that people do not know and possibly will never know.  I believe that everyone has their own "story" of their own life which has lead them to be the person they are today.  Yeah, I do think that I've had my share of struggles and hardships in my life along with everyone else.  I don't think I deserve special treatment because of it and I sure as hell do not give others special treatment because they've gone through troubles themselves.  All that we can do is deal with it and let those experiences affect ourselves in a positive light.  No matter what happens to me, I know that I'll pull through, I'll get over it, and I'll grow as a person.  I try not to hold grudges, judge at face value, or sulk, but I am only human.  I love my life.  I try to make the most out of what I have.  I always try to help the people around me if I am able to, even if I know that they hate me.  I don't know why, it's just the sort of person I am.  Life is too short to waste being unhappy.  I don't sulk.  If I get angry, I get over it quickly.  No one will ever know everything about me, but I am a very open person and I do not hesitate to tell people what I think.  Just because I'm friendly does not mean that I'm a slut.  I'm tired of people calling me a slut, a whore, and everything else under the sun.. I'm tired of being yelled at from cars, tired of people fucking up my belongings, tired of the ridicule and rumors.  I'm not a bad person.  I know I'm different from other people, but why should that really be such a big deal?  Everyone is different, and I've found that even in my sorry attempts to fit the mold which people claim I lack, still I am rejected.  I don't know what to do, but just stay true to myself and my way of living.  I'm not here to hurt anyone and quite frankly I'm over all this bullshit.  Say what you want, do what you want to me.. it's not making you any better a person or bringing me down the least bit.  You may try to bend me, but you could never break me.  There is no one out there quite like me.  I have a good heart and I am a good friend.  If you choose not to see those good qualities about me, I really do not care.  You're missing out on a wonderfully unique and caring person.