This sping break i really got the chance to clear my head of all the crap that i had to go through over the past school year. cutting class, slackin off and just not giving a damn, that aint me. now when i come back 2 school ima b ready 4 test and anything that dem teachers go to thro at me. iv been mentally stressed out and shit, now its time to just try to make it thro da skool year and get my job and take my dance classes. other than that i really don't give a shit baut anyone or anything else thats not in favor of my agenda. If you are reading this, i suggest that you do the same if u gota hard time focusing and your easily destracted by other peoples bullshit. Its hard to let stuff go i dont care wat u say, if ur angry or pissed off you can never let it go right away.

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septembre 8, 2008 - lundi

feeling blue....
Humeur actuelle :

cafardeux

Im really sad right now, not even angry, b/c what I thought was going to happen is not going to happen. (sorry I cant be more specific!) Its a very delicate complicated matter, and Right now im just really bummed out. I would cry but, my pride wont let me. I have too much to do, too much going for me, to break down in tears. At this point tears are silent, insignificant and I dont have time to show weaknedd at all. I have to be very strong, especially at this point in my life. I will do what I have too, to get what I want, and If that means cutting people out my life so be it. Thats the last thing i want tho.

9:44

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septembre 6, 2008 - samedi

About me...
Humeur actuelle :

pensif

As of now, there are somethings that I am total sure of, and somethings that hang in the air of thought. I want to to do certain things, but I tend to think about long term consequences to any action good or bad. For instance I know If I take dance classes over the summer then I will dance better in the fall. Or If I get into a relationship I could be distracted, and long term it would not last very long. I feel like I do have more control over my life as it should be. Putting certain things in Gods hands, and then useing the good knowlege and wisdom god gave me to help me guide myself. I really need to just stay focus, keep my eye on the prize and know to stay true to myself no matter what other peoples egenda is.

8:06

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septembre 2, 2008 - mardi

Exspect the unexspected
Humeur actuelle :

réfléchi

I havent writen a blog in a min, so Im going to speak out on two topics in one. My future and God. My life is going in a very unexspeted direction, that I would have never forseen, except in my wildest dreams. Life in totally unpredictable. I USE to belive that you have a great amount of control over your life, future, and you make the decisions. I dont care how much planning you do. Exspect the unexspected. I try to keep god in my life, and I alway pray for those people that are close to me and I try to live a christian life. Living the way of the wise is not easy, but in the end it pays off. Im not trying to say Im wise. I am a totally diffrent person from what I use to be, I am a bit more realitic and less of a dreamer. I try to stick with things that will actually happen. I use to love to dream and as a kid, or a young adult, its what keeps you going. Its great to dream, but then one day you wake up. Thats what Im doing right now and thats why I am writing thins blog. I start school tomarrow and I care about school less than I have in any of my HS years. I jst wana graduate and get on with my life.

4:03

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août 25, 2008 - lundi

God IS good!!!!
Humeur actuelle :

émoustillé

I am posting new blogs that are Christianity based, and spread the word of the gospel. We are sinners as people and God understands this. That is why he has created a way of salvation for us. The Rightious will go forth to heaven, and the wicked and unjust will suffer the pits of hell. However it is not too late for anyone. No matter what you have done, you can be forgiven. For those of you who do not belive in God, who do not go to church, who do not know jesus, its time for you get aquainted. I am not writing this blog to convert people, or to force the word on anyone. Im writing it to educate people. You can take it for what you want, but I only tell the truth when I am writing this. God loves you, and he wants you to get saved in live in the light. People everywhere young and old, are doing all sorts of shameful things, and we wonder why our lives are in the shape they are in. They wonder why, the world is going into the crisist that it is. Things are getting worse everyday. The rich are getting rich and the poor are getting poorer. over 70% of African American males do not take care of thier children the the child has to grow up fatherless and the process repeates itself constantly over and over again. When will the madeness stop? Its up to us, its up to people to change thier hearts. We have to change ourselves and our nation to make all our lives better.

10:40

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août 16, 2008 - samedi

college
Humeur actuelle :

créativité

so far, i thought i had the whole college thing figured out. WRONG!! Im a bit lost again, life holds so many twist and turns, i thought i was so sure about NY, that I was going to fill out an early application for school. I know i dont wana stay in chicago, but people I love are here, and i dont know if i can leave them. My man is here, and i dont wana leave him, by sister angel is here, my mom, my friends, the people that helped mold me, ect. Its a really hard decision that I have to make fast. I hope that deep in my heart I make the right choice, and that I can get a scholatship to school too. If i really hate it where i go, I will trancefer the next chance I get, and do my best to cope with the situation. WhaT do YOU think I should do, whoever is reading this blog. And advice?

11:00

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août 11, 2008 - lundi

Feeling free
Humeur actuelle :

heureux

Happy!! Im a really hapy right now compaired to normally how I feel. I just got back from a really fun trip to SpringField, and I leared somethings about myself that I really need to work on. I need to work on letting things go that happened to me in my past, and exsepting the good things that i have so that I wont loose them. I am still learning about love, and relationhips, the one I am in is great. I wish I could give him more and not hold back as much. I really do try my best to be a top notch girl for him b/c he deserves it. But people you need to try your best to let go of the past. I myself am still learning b/c I have been holding on to it for so long. It will be a process, not over night. It took me longer than over night to bottle it up, so it will take me a while to let it go. I dont care how long it takes, I am going to do my best to start the healing process now that I can have a better future for myself, and the people in my life. I have to be a strong person, and part of being a strong person means that I have to get over obsticals in a positive way, and teach others to do the same.

4:30

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août 9, 2008 - samedi

When Im wrong, I say Im wrong!!
Humeur actuelle :

content

Well today was ok for me, i was overly moody, which tends to happen from time to time, I am a woman. But its no exsuse to bitch at people. SO for anyone that I have ever bitched at, and that is anyone I kno, lol U kno I love you and I am always there for you! Especially my dance family, u kno you are the best family ever, even with all the little imperfections. I love you Angel, your my best bud ever, and my to my babe, you know who you are, I dont need to tell you how crazy I am about you.

5:34

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août 8, 2008 - vendredi

not feeling so great right now....
Humeur actuelle :

mécontent

Right now, i just need to get a few things off my chest. Im really upset right now, b/c a certain person who I care about in my life, is all of sudden treating me diffrently, and I dont know why. Im just so upset and confused. I wana cry, but I try my best not too. How would you feel, If someone you cared about so much just pulled themselves away from you? You dont know why, and your trying to figure it out, but no matter how many times you try to reimagine why, you just cant figure it out? Thats how I feel right now. I am the type of person that has been disappointed so many times in life, that at this point, I try to make myself as hard as possible, and keep my hopes low as possible, because I dont want to get disappointed again. Its so bad that I get chest pains physically from the worry and stress of disappintment. SO I LITERALY cannot take it anymore. Guys out there, just be honest. All the time, it pays off in the long run. My chest is just really heavy with worry right now. Idk, I like being in relationships, but i worry too much and it sometimes feels like a burdon rather than you sharing your life with someone you deeply care about. Thats ALL I WANT! I just want to be with someone that loves me, and accsepts me for who I am, no strings attached. Maybe im just being paranoid, but I dont think so.

9:50

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avril 5, 2007 - jeudi

Spring Break
Humeur actuelle :

déterminé

This sping break i really got the chance to clear my head of all the crap that i had to go through over the past school year. cutting class, slackin off and just not giving a damn, that aint me. now when i come back 2 school ima b ready 4 test and anything that dem teachers go to thro at me. iv been mentally stressed out and shit, now its time to just try to make it thro da skool year and get my job and take my dance classes. other than that i really don't give a shit baut anyone or anything else thats not in favor of my agenda. If you are reading this, i suggest that you do the same if u gota hard time focusing and your easily destracted by other peoples bullshit. Its hard to let stuff go i dont care wat u say, if ur angry or pissed off you can never let it go right away.

10:59

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