Sumtimes I wonder why I even bother to try to be a good person friend whatever .. Just to get slapped in the face or talked about behind my back .. What to do? .. I'm not gonna do a fucking thing because Karma is a bitch & paybacks are a motherfucker .. Not everyone is a bad person granted just tired of of the bullshitters & the fakes .. I HATE drama & have no time for it in my life .. So to those real ppl thank you for just being you .. for the rest of the fucktards .. I hope you go to hell & burn for all you've done!

Good Niterz!

Okay .. once you've been tagged you must do it .. List 10 weird, strange or completely true facts bout yourself, then post a comment on 8 of yur friends pages tellin them to read yur blog!

1. I'm a mother of a beautiful lil "mini me" .. hehe

2. I've been known to do krazie things when I get completely smashed .. lmao

3. I have the bestest friend's in the world

4. I hate cleaning

5. I don't like flaky, fake people

6. I can help others organize their places .. but can't seem to keep mine organized for more than a month .. lmao

7. I've learned to love life as it comes .. because ya never know when it's yur time

8. I don't plan on ever marrying .. why do people find that odd?

9. I have very bad "ditzy" moments tha sumtimes last for days .. haha

10. I am who I am & say what needs to be said .. if you don't like it then piss off!

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Roots

Girl facts .. .. ..

When you catch a girl glancing at you,
She wants you to look back & smile

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you
She wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
She will just stand there

When you break a girls heart
She still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
Millions of things are running through her mind

When a girl is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions,
She is wondering how long you will be around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds,
She is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
She is wondering why you are playing games

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever

When a girl says she can't live without you,
She has made up her mind that you are her future

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
No one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you
back, but shes scared she'll get hurt & knows you're gone forever

Guy Facts .. .. ..

When a guy calls you,
He wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes
He means it

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about
him  &  wonders if you do

When your laying your head on a guy's chest,
He has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday,
He is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
He means it

When a guy says he can't live without you,
He's with you til your done

When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than
you could have ever missed him or anything else

Just for this morning, I am going to smile when I see your face and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you choose what you want to wear, and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step over the laundry, and pick you up and take you to the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with you in the backyard and blow bubbles..

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't worry about what you are going to be when you grow up, or second guess every decision I have made where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you help me bake cookies, and I won't stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us to McDonald's and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can have both toys..

Just for this evening, I will hold you in my arms and tell you a story about how you were born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle beside you for hours, and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and fathers who are searching for their missing children, the mothers and fathers who are visiting their children's graves instead of their bedrooms, and mothers and fathers who are in hospital rooms watching their children suffer senselessly, and screaming inside that they can't handle it anymore.

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then, that I will thank God for you, and ask him for nothing, except one more day...

Well here we are comin up fast on 2007 & I personally have been doing alot of thinking about what I want my New Year's Resolution to be & I've finally come up with sumthin that is perfect for me & sumthin I I am going to stick with! .. This coming year's resloution is to weed out & say goodbye to all the FAKE friends .. you know the ones who you THINK are for real & then sumthin happens .. yur eyes open & you see them for who they really are .. LIARS .. USERS .. ETC .. I know I don't need to go on .. lol. Unfortunately I hadthis happen to me (very recently) & was EXTREMELY shocked that this person could be this way & am actually VERY hurt that is was this specific person .. Not going to say any names .. they know who they are! I am very proud to say that for the most part I choose my friends wisely .. guess listening to yur gut feeling really works after all .. lol .. To all my true friends .. I wish all the best to you & yur families for this New Year .. and to another year of friendships! .. Don't let ignorant stupid Dickless Punks or Bitches get to you .. I Luv Ya All

Where Oh Where Should I Start This One .. I've Waited A While To Write This .. I Guess To Give Myself Sum Time To Calm Down .. To Try And Get Sum Thoughts Together .. And Also Until Things Calmed Down Around Here .. It's As If I Get Through One Hurdle And BAM There Is Another One Waiting  .. And Get Over The Fact That I Let Sumone Fool Me .. AGAIN!! .. I Don't Get Why People Think They Have The Right To Come Into Sumone's Life .. And Mess With Their Emotions .. Their Heart .. I Don't Get Why I EVER Even Talked To This Person Again .. Why I Even Let This Person Back Into My Life .. How Could I Have Been So Nieve As To Have Thought This Person Had Changed .. I Will Say That Person Is One Hell Of A Liar.. Guess That Saying Is True .. "Shame On You If YOU Fool Me Once, Shame On ME If You Fool Me Twice" .. I Hate Guys Who Have Nothing Better To Do Then Fuck With People Physically .. Mentally .. And Emotionally .. And People Wonder Why I Have Trust Issues .. And Why People Have To Earn Trust With Me .. I Trust NOONE .. Well .. Except For The People Who Have Proven To Me That They Are True .. I Will Say This .. My Wall Is Back Up .. And Heavily Guarded .. I REFUSE To Let Neone Else Hurt Me .. And Damn Sure Ain't Gonna Let That Liar Back In .. To Fuck With My Emotions Again .. He Knows Exactly Who He Is .. And I'm Sure He Will Read This .. There Are So Many Unanswered Questions .. I Wouldn't Even Know Where To Start .. There Has Been So Much Goin On Lately .. My Brianna (Hayley's 14 Year Old Half Sister) .. Was Here For 10 Days .. It Was Great .. Although We Didn't Get To Go And Do Much .. Just Bein Able To See Her And Spend Time With Her After 3 Long Years Was A Blessing .. And Them Getting To See Each Other And Spend Sisterly Time Together .. It Is Very Important That They Are Close .. Which Is Hard With Us Living In Nevada And Her Living In Washington .. But I Am Doing All I Can To Make Sure They Are As Close As Can Be For Now .. Which I Will Say Is Pretty Hard When Her Mother Is An Evil Bitch .. Who Doesn't Let Her Come Often .. Because She Likes To Use Brianna .. Then Tells Me She Is Doing All She Can To Make Sure They Stay Close .. Hell She Ain't Gotta Pay A Penny For Her To Come .. I Am Willing To Pay For Everything .. Plus With The Health Issues I Have Been Havin .. I've Been Seein Alot Of The Doctors .. (Blah) .. Then My Mom Sold Her House .. And It Sold SO Fast .. That Put Me Over The Edge .. I Went Into Total Depression Mode .. Cancelled All My Doctors Appointments .. Flushed All My Medications .. Basically Just Said Fuck It All .. I Am Honestly Not Ready To Leave This House .. The Main Reason Is Because This Is Where My Fiancee (Hayley's Father) Died .. I Guess It Is Time For Me To Move On .. It Has Been 3 And A Half Years Now Since He Passed Away .. I Need To Stop Thinking Of Myself .. And Think About Hayley .. Her Room Is The Room He Passed In .. And She Has Had So Many Problems Sleeping In There .. She Is Fine In There  During The Day .. But At Nite She Wakes Up So Sumtimes 5 Or 6 Times A Nite .. And When I Let Her Sleep In My Room .. She Sleeps So Peacefully .. I Am Lookin For My Own Place Now .. Not Sure Just When I'll Get One .. I Am Not Working .. And Haven't Worked Since He Passed .. Thought It Was More Important To Stay Home And Be With Her (We Recieve His Social Security Death Benefits For Her Monthly) .. So We Have Been Doin Alright .. But She's In Early Childhood Now .. Which Is What She Needs And Loves .. So I Think It Will Be Alright For Me To Get Job.. And Will Also Be Good For Me As Well .. Okay Neways .. I Got A Bit Side Tracked There .. Lol .. Us Blondes .. What Can I Say .. Haha .. Well .. I Kicked Myself In The Ass .. And Told Myself That I Have To Fight For What I Want .. Need .. And Deserve .. And That Is To Be Happy .. Tellin This Guy To Have A Good Life And Good Luck In Finding Sumone Special In His Life Didn't Bother Me Like It Did the First Time Or Like It Should Have .. Pretty Sad To Admit This .. But Because Of Sum Of The Circumstances I Wasn't As Hurt As I Thought I'd Be .. I Was More Pissed Off At Myself For  Being So Gullable .. AGAIN .. I Do Wish Him The Best .. And I Hope He Stops And Thinks About How He Would Feel If Sum Guy Did The Same Shit To His Daughter As He Did To Me .. Maybe The Next Person He Decides He Wants/Or Might Already Even Have In His Life .. He Will Do Things Differently With .. As For My Doctors Appointments .. I Am Gonna Be Rescheduling Them And Gettin Back On My Medications .. And DEFINATELY Gettin A New Kind Of Depression Medication Because The One I Was On OBVIOUSLY Wasn't Working .. I Went To The Dentist .. And They Are Assholes .. Lol .. That Appointment Did NOT Go Well .. Was Basically A Waste Of My Time .. They Don't Have Their Shit Together .. Then Later That Same Day .. I'm Drivin Down The Road .. And CRACK .. There Goes The Driver  Side Of My Friggin  Windshield .. A Fuckin Semi Didn't Have His Load Covered As He Is Supposed To BY LAW .. And A Rock Decided To Kiss My Windshield .. Hey .. Just My Luck Though .. Wish I Would Have Turned Around And Followed Him .. Then Yanked His Sorry Ass Out Of His Truck And Beat Him Til He Was Black And Blue! .. Lol .. Why Do The Back Of All Semi's Say "Stay Atleast 500 Yards Or Whatever Length Away From Semi" .. When They Still Have To Pass You .. Come On You Fucktards!! .. Oh Well .. It Can Be Replaced .. No Sense In Gettin Upset Over Sumthin I Had No Control Over Right? .. Well .. I Do Feel A Little Better Since I Have Written Bout All That Is/Has Been Goin On .. But Only Time Will Tell How Things Will Go .. Where Things Will Go .. I Guess Whatever Happens .. It Is Meant To Be .. People Tell Me I Can't Change My Fate .. And They Are So Right .. So .. For Now I Will Just Be Patient And Take Things As They Come .. And Deal With Them The Best I Know How To .. And Just Live My Life To The Fullest .. And Be Happy And Thankful To Be Here And Be Able To Watch My Beautiful Daughter Grow Up And Have A Family Of Her Own .. Sorry If Alot Of This Is Jumbled.. I Just Type Whatever It Is I May Be Thinking About Or Whatever Is Bothering Me At The Time .. So I'm Sure Sum Or All Of This Might Not Make Sense .. But What Is Important Is That I Understand It .. And Am Getting It Out Of My System Instead Of Holding It All In .. Woot Woot .. Lmao .. Luv To You All .. Until Next Time .. .. ..