Every marriage has its ups and downs, its rough periods. Even in the best of circumstances, there are going to be difficult times.


People change.


Circumstances change.


Emotions change.


Over time, the natural ebb and flow of everyday life places incredible pressure on a relationship.


Almost unnoticed at first, you begin to think thoughts that had once been unthinkable. "I love him, but I'm not in love with him. Not anymore." "I'm not attracted to her, not like I was in the beginning." "Maybe if we separated for awhile ..."


The skies can darken in a hurry.

But if you survive these darkest of times, you may find you emerge with a stronger, more trusting relationship than you ever imagined possible.


Here are a few tips that might help you toward that goal ...


Have a clear understanding of your expectations. Couples rarely take the time to discuss how the little things will work. What does romance mean to each of you? How will the finances be handled? How will your children be raised? What role will religion play in your relationship? What makes you feel loved? What hurts you? How will arguments be resolved? How will decisions be made? What do you need from your spouse, what does your spouse need from you?

Don't fight unfairly. There will always be disagreements. Deal with the matter at hand. Don't drudge up all your hurts and disappointments from the past. Those are different matters, to be handled separately, at a different time. Keep focused on the issue under discussion and avoid muddying the waters with generalized personal attacks ("You're always nagging." "You never do anything unless I tell you to do it first.")


Face the issues that are facing you. Hiding from reality never leads to a happy ending. If you're experiencing financial problems, admit it, get it out in the open.


Be honest with yourself. Take a step back and give yourself a good long look in the mirror. If your behavior is undermining your relationship (whether it's the way you communicate, or how you treat your spouse, or your personal destructive behavior) own up to it.


Take the initiative. Understand that waiting for your spouse to change first will likely result in no change at all. Actions come first. Thoughts and feelings follow. Change your behaviors and watch your spouse's behaviors change in response.


Rebuild compatibility. Time has a way of unveiling the differences between couples, especially when your marriage is in trouble. Seek out those interests you have in common with your spouse. Look for opportunities to share activities together. Perhaps it's ballroom dancing, or photography, or camping, or trips to the beach.


Remember what it was like when you were dating. What was it that first attracted you to your spouse? What made you first fall in love? How can those feelings be rekindled?


Keep your sense of humor. Life is challenging enough without having to live with a brooding, angry spouse. Laugh out loud the way you did when you were a kid. Happiness is a choice. Exercise it.


Marriage is a sacred vow to love your partner for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till ... well you know the rest. Unfortunately, for many people, the pressures, challenges, and monotony of married life have doused its wonderful positive aspects.


Maybe it's time to rekindle the magic.

Angel Kiss
This is a sweet, comforting kiss.
Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes.

Cheek Kiss
A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner’s shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.

Butterfly Kiss
With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.

Freeze Kiss
Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It’s an erotic and sensual french kiss with a twist of cold.

Eskimo Kiss
With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together.

Earlobe Kiss
Gently sip and **** the earlobe. Avoid louder ****ing noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.

French Kiss
The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss"
because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth’s breath in the exchange across tongues.

Forehead Kiss
The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.

Foot Kiss
An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently **** the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.

Hickey Kiss
The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.

Hand Kiss
Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand.
Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.

Hot/Cold Kiss
Get a cold drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling.

Letter Kiss
Send your lover a kiss in a love letter by writing the letter x several times in a row at the bottom of a letter such as .

Mistletoe Kiss
Surprise your lover by capturing them with a gentle holiday kiss under the mistletoe.
This is also a good method for shyer individuals to steal a kiss from a potential lover.

Neck Kiss
Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly **** the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times.

Neck Nibble Kiss
Gently nibble up and down your partners neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.

Nip Kiss
This kiss can create a very erotic sensation. While kissing your partner, ever so gently nibble on their lips.
You must be very careful not to bite to hard or hurt your partner. When done correctly, this kiss ignites wonderful sensations.

Shoulder Kiss
Simply come from behind, embrace her, and kiss the top of her shoulder. This is a sensual, loving kiss.

Sip Kiss
Take a small sip of your favorite drink. Leaving a little bit of it on your lips, kiss your partner. It is a unique way to create a sensual feeling and your partner will enjoy it.

Stomach Kiss
Gently kiss and nibble on your partners stomach, and sometimes it leads to other things..

Talking Kiss
Whisper sweet nothings into your partner’s mouth.
If caught in the act, simply say, "I wasn’t kissing her. I was whispering into her mouth."

Tiger Kiss
Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.

Tongue Kiss
While french kissing your partner, gently **** their tongue while it’s in your mouth.
This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!

Quickie Kiss
When you’re in a rush. Often the nose gets it rather than the lips.

Upside Down Kiss
You stand behind your partner (who is seated or laying down) and have them tilt their head back.
Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours.
This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.

Underwater Kiss
Find your partner under water. Embrace and kiss. It’s a unique and wonderful feeling. By the time you run out of air, you’ll be back at the top. Continuing the kiss is optional.

Underwater Deep End Kiss
Dive to the bottom of the deep end of a pool. Find your partner under water and begin kissing. Continue as you rise to the top.

Vacuum Kiss
While kissing open-mouthed, slightly **** in as if you were ****ing the air from your partners mouth.

This is a playful kiss.
Virtual Kiss
For Internet lovers. Send an e-card or a kiss via email with this symbol: :-* .

The Wave Kiss
While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down.
It can be a little sloppy, but it’s a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it’s done.

Before we get into the list, let's look at a few notes on how to use the list:

1. Weekly dates. I recommend you have a date at least once a week with your partner. It doesn't have to be an expensive one, but at least find some way to spend a couple hours time together. If you've got kids, like I do, find a babysitter.
2. Communicate. Romantic gestures don't take the place of real communication. Take time to talk about your goals, your dreams, your plans for the future, your current lives, things you're happy about, things you love about the other person, things you'd like to work on, things you're grateful for.
3. Inspiration. This list contains a lot of obvious stuff - you could probably come up with twice as many good ideas yourself. But the list doesn't aim for originality - it aims to be an inspiration. Pick and choose some good ideas, or use it to spark some of your own. Sometimes we just need a little reminder.
4. Forget Valentines. Boycott Valentine's Day, as it makes people think they should be romantic on special occasions. Instead, pick one of these ideas and do it any day of the week - no need for a special occasion.

OK, enough talk. Let's look at some ways to be romantic without breaking your budget (note to my mom: don't read this, as there are a couple of sexy-time things later on):

1. Write a poem.
2. Cook a romantic dinner.
3. Give a full-body massage.
4. Pack a sunset picnic.
5. Pick wildflowers on the way home.
6. Burn a CD with love songs.
7. Give dark chocolates.
8. Read poetry together.
9. Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.
10. Snuggle together on a rainy day.
11. Leave little love notes everywhere.
12. Send a love email every day.
13. Take a moonlit walk on the beach.
14. Snuggle together while watching romantic movies (Casablanca, Audrey Hepburn are my favs).
15. Get good wine, watch shooting stars.
16. Take a bath together (use bubbles!).
17. Bring home good coffee or a decadent sweet.
18. Take a walk down memory lane - visit some of the special places from your early days of dating.
19. Make warm chocolate cake for dessert.
20. Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from you lives together.
21. Kiss in the rain.
22. Ride a ferris wheel.
23. Sneak away from a party and make out.
24. Bring home great take-out, and light some candles.
25. Fix something or fix up the house just to make your partner happy.
26. Slow dance to romantic music.
27. Take a nap together.
28. Kiss slowly, touching his or her back and neck and nape - slowly.
29. Make a list of everything you love about him or her.
30. Write a love letter.
31. Clip or email things that make you think of him or her, every day.
32. Go to a movie, ignore the movie, and make out like teen-agers.
33. Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner.
34. Take some quiet time and talk about your day.
35. Write little notes, one for each way he or she drives you crazy.
36. Feed each other grapes.
37. Recreate your partner's favorite romantic movie scene.
38. Pretend you're going on a first date - show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time.
39. Create a little box with a bunch of your partner's favorite things inside.
40. Paint each other with flavored body paint. Be creative!
41. Try some sexy role-playing. Get dressed up, be daring, have fun.
42. Give a little token to your partner to wear, and say it's to remind him or her all day that you love them.
43. Sing a favorite song to him or her. Only do this if you can sing fairly well.
44. Have dinner on the roof, with some candles. This doesn't work if your roof slopes sharply.
45. Hold hands, and walk somewhere with lots of pretty lights.
46. Say I love you. In a different way, every day.
47. Blindfold your partner. Use a feather. Slowly.
48. Declare your love, very publicly.
49. Fruit or berries and freshly made whipped cream.
50. Play Sade. Do what comes naturally. Slowly.

SEVENTEEN:
U LOOK AT THEIR PROFILE/PICTURE CONSTANTLY


SIXTEEN:
WHEN YOUR ON THE PHONE WITH THEM LATE AT NIGHT AND THEY HANG UP, YOU
STILL MISS THEM EVEN WHEN IT WAS JUST TWO MINUTES AGO.


FIFTEEN:
YOU READ THEIR TEXTS or IMS OVER AND OVER AGAIN.


FOURTEEN:
YOU WALK REALLY SLOW WHEN YOU'RE WITH THEM


THIRTEEN:
YOU FEEL SHY WHENEVER YOU'RE/THEY'RE AROUND.


ELEVEN:
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM, YOUR HEART BEATS FASTER AND SLOWER AT THE
SAME TIME


TEN:
YOU SMILE WHEN YOU HEAR THEIR VOICE.


NINE:
WHEN YOU LOOK AT THEM, YOU CAN'T SEE THE OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU, All
YOU SEE IS HIM//HER.


EIGHT:
YOU START LISTENING TO SLOW SONGS, WHILE THINKING OF THEM


SEVEN:
THEY'RE ALL YOU THINK ABOUT.


SIX:
YOU GET HIGH JUST FROM THEIR SCENT.


FIVE:
YOU REALIZE THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS SMILING TO YOURSELF WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT THEM.


FOUR:
YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, OR ANYTHING TO SEE THEM.


THREE:
WHILE READING THIS, THERE WAS ONE PERSON ON YOUR MIND THE WHOLE TIME...


TWO:
YOU WERE SO BUSY THINKING ABOUT THAT PERSON, YOU DIDN'T NOTICE NUMBER
TWELVE.


ONE:
YOU JUST SCROLLED UP TO CHECK & ARE NOW SILENTLY LAUGHING AT YOURSELF.

10. The Aztecs drunk it
Chocolate was originally a cold drink whisked from cocoa beans by the Aztecs - and women were not allowed to drink it.


9. It was more valuable than gold
When Cortes conquered the Aztecs in 1520, he found that cocoa beans were prized higher than gold.


8. It was named in the 17th century
The word 'chocolate' was first recorded in English use in 1604.


7. It helped found the British Museum
The British Museum owes its very existence to chocolate. It was based on the personal collection of Hans Soane, who invented milk chocolate.


6. Chocolate bar an English invention

The bar of chocolate was invented by JS Fry and Sons of Bristol in 1847.


5. Expensive egg
Last year's most expensive chocolate egg was encrusted with more than 100 diamonds and made for La Maison du Chocolat with a £50,000 prize tag.


4. Royal approval
On New Year's Day 1900, Queen Victoria sent 100,000 boxes of chocolates as a personal gift to soldiers fighting in the Boer War.


3. Brits can't get enough of it
The average person living in the UK - man, woman or child - spends over £1 a week on chocolate.


2. The King loved it!
The last food Elvis Presley ate comprised four scoops of ice cream and six chocolate chip cookies.


1. Egg-cellent selection
Woolworths is this year selling 170 varieties of chocolate Easter egg.

1. Spread rose petals all over the bedroom.


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2. What could be more classic than a fine gold locket with your photo inside? (Maybe a photo of the two of you.)


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3. Bring home one small, unexpected gift each week.


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4. Write a classic, romantic, passionate, handwritten, heartfelt love letter. Most adults haven't written a love letter since high school. (Why not? Have we lost our youthful idealism, or have we just gotten lazy?)


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5. When traveling, give your partner a bouquet of roses; one rose for each day that you'll be away. Attach a note that says something like this: "These three roses represent the three days I'll be away from you. They also symbolize the love, joy, and laughter we share together."


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6.Say "I love you" at least one times a day.


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7. Guys: Surprise her by performing one of her chores for her. (And not something easy like carrying the groceries in from the car, but something that requires some time and effort -- like cooking all the meals over a weekend, or cleaning the entire house.)


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8. Ladies: Send him a letter sealed with a kiss. (Use your reddest lipstick.)


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9. Hold hands.


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10. On your yearly romantic checklist, make plans for Valentine's Day -- well in advance!