I am writing this for all you girls out there who are having health problems and having to make a hard decision like I have had to do this summer. All my life I have known that if I was to have a baby it would be a challenge but I felt sure taht God and I would get through it. Of course in that plan I was going to only be 24 -26 when I started having kids. Who knew I would be pushing 28 and single. I know God has a plan for me and I knwo that I can not understand it.

I have had endometriosis since I was 15. I started passing out from the pain everytime I had a period at 15. They put me on birth control and pain pills immediately. I had my first surgery at 18. I have had two since and been on either non-stop birth control pr what are called Lupron shots that put you into menopause and have done some bone damage plus superficial damage to me. None if this is working for me anymore. Now I am in pain all the time and the pain is so bad every three weeks that I have to be in bed for a week. I ave finally decided that not only have I put my family through enough, I have put my body though enough. I know I am giving up my dream but I know that God has a greater plan for me. I will adopt. There must be some children out there that were meant for me. Life is not fair b/c I know there are so many women out there who don't want children and certainly don't want to carry them but I know I will be a wonderful mom no matter what. I do not know yet when my surhery will be or what ll they will have to take. Pray for me if you will. God Bless you all.

Have you ever found out that the people you thought were you friends really weren't, that someone you thought was your best friend is a liar? Twice this month these so called friends of mine have turned their backs on me and pretended that I was included while going on about what they were doing and leaving me on the outside. I have had one of the worst months of my life and I need my friends more than ever now, but I guess that is when you find out who your true friends are. I just feel so hurt and betrayed.If you don't want to be my friend, then don't, but don't fake it with me. There is nothing I hate worse than fake people. I just had to get this off my chest, I don't like to let things eat at me. Now I hand it over to God so that I can find peace and forgive these people for betraying me.