Courtesy: moderndrunkard.com
Note: As absurd as some of them may seem,
we did not make any of these holidays up.
Key: Holiday. Pithy comment. Suggested holiday
libation. (Recipes included for the odd ones.)
January
1 National Day of Resolutions. Can't break 'em unless you make 'em. Bloody Mary. 2 Drinking Straw patented (1888). Fact: You get drunk faster if you drink through a straw. Mind Eraser.
3 Sergio Leone's Birthday (1929). Perfect day for a spaghetti western boozefest. Italian vino.
4 Electric blender invented (1910). AKA Annoy the Bartender Day. Blender drinks.
5 Ulysses S. Grant elected president (1872). Fullbore drunkard seizes power. 
Presidential Margarita
1 1/2 oz El Presidente Brandy
1 1/2 oz Cointreau
1 1/2 oz Tequila
Juice of 1 Lime
Pour ingredients into a large glass. Add ice and let sit while preparing drinking glass. Rim glass with lime and salt, fill with ice and add a lime slice. Pour contents of large glass into salted glass.
6 Anniversary of Jimmy Carter's encounter with a UFO (1969). Swears he wasn't drunk. Crazy Horse Malt Liquor and a bowl of peanuts.
7 Flying V guitar invented (1958). Like musicians weren't getting enough chicks already. Vodka tonics.
8 Elvis Presley's Birthday (1935). Hail to the King.
Hunka Hunka Burnin' Luv
6 oz vodka
6 oz water
2 tblsp Cherry Kool-Aid
Combine and shake it like Elvis for 30 seconds.
9 Chingay Procession in Honor of Kwan Ying (Chinese). Best Chingay Procession of the year. Trust me.
Procession of Pink Elephants
2 oz vodka
1/2 oz Midori Melon Liqueur
4 oz pink lemonade
2 tblsp sugar
Mix, drink fast, wait for the parade.
10 National Day of Loneliness. Elvis recorded Heartbreak Hotel (1956). Whiskey sour.
11 First American discotheque opens (1963). Another gift from the treacherous French. Harvey Wallbangers.
12 Jack London's Birthday (1876). Answer the call of the wild. Yukon Jack Whiskey.
13 Blame Someone Else Day. Shift that accumulated shame elsewhere. Your roommate's good scotch.
14 Sanford & Son debuted (1972). When you get your bar tab, pretend to have a heart attack. Ripple.
15 Feast of the Ass (Roman). We're 90% sure they were talking about a donkey.
Jamaican Ass-Kicker
2 oz Barcardi 151 Rum
6 oz chilled Jolt Cola
Pour the rum over ice, top with cola.
16 US Prohibition begins (1920). AKA What the Hell Were We Thinking Day. Rum Runner.
17 Benjamin Franklin's Birthday (1706). Said: "Beer is proof that God loves us." Anchor Liberty Ale.
18 Festival of Women as Cultivators (Persian). Bet the ladies were excited about this one.
Farmer's Cocktail
1/2 oz dry vermouth
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
1 oz gin
2 dashes bitters
Stir ingredients with ice, strain.
19 Neon advertising sign patented (1889). Never again would drunks wonder, "Is that a bar?" The first alcohol you see advertised in neon.
20 International Hat Day. Your chance to finally wear that fedora in public.
Mad Hatter
1 oz vodka
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz lemonade
1 oz Coca-Cola
Shake with ice, strain.
21 National Hugging Day. Don't forget to hug your toilet at the end of the night. Get acquainted with the liquor you hate the most.
22 Lord Byron's Birthday (1788). "Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication." Brandy.
23 Humphrey Bogart's Birthday (1899). Last words: "I never should have switched from scotch to martinis." Scotch rocks.
24 First canned beer sold (1935). Science occasionally comes up with something useful. Twelver of your choice.
25 Nut's Day (Egyptian). Nut was an Egyptian goddess, but you can interpret it anyway you like. Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale.
26 Anniversary of the Australian Rum Rebellion (1808). Armed drunkards responded to oppressive liquor laws by overthrowing the government. Fosters.
27 Water Conservation Day. "I never drink water because fish fuck in it."—W.C. Fields. Hard liquor, neat.
28 National Kazoo Day. Bring one to the bar to entertain your friends!
Three Stages of Friendship
1/3 oz Jack Daniels
1/3 oz tequila
1/3 oz Bacardi 151
Mix and shoot before they shoot you.
29 W.C. Fields Birthday (1880). "'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her." Gimlet.
30 Franklin D. Roosevelt's Birthday (1882). Raise one to the drunkard who whipped up on Prohibition, the Depression and the Nazis. Wet gin martinis with a lemon twist.
31 National Brandy Alexander Day. Think the brandy distillers had anything to do with this one?
Brandy Alexander
1 1/2 oz brandy
1 oz dark creme de cacao
1 oz half-and-half
1/4 tsp grated nutmeg
Shake the brandy, creme de cacao, and half-and-half with ice. Strain, garnish with nutmeg.
February
1 Boris Yeltsin's Birthday (1931). Doing multiple shots of vodka on stage was one of his populist campaign tricks. Chilled double Stolis. 2 Groundhog Day. If he sees his shadow, get loaded. If he doesn't see his shadow, get loaded.
The Shadow Knows
1 oz black sambuca
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1/2 oz Bacardi 151 Rum
Layer Bailey's over sambuca. Top with Bacardi.
3 Heroes Day (Mozambique). "Claret is the liquor for boys; port for men; but he who aspires to be a hero must drink brandy."—Samuel Johnson. Heroic amounts of brandy.
4 The Bacardi Distillery is founded in Cuba (1862). There's a bat on the label because bats would pass out in the distillery's vats. Bacardi and Coke.
5 Bob Marley Day (Jamaica). Time to touch base with your weedhead buddies. Red Stripe.
6 Babe Ruth's Birthday (1895). Contrary to popular belief, he wasn't really pointing to where he was going to hit the ball. He was just trying to get a beer vendor's attention. Overpriced crappy beer in a plastic cup.
7 National Hangover Awareness Day. Some of us 'celebrate' this 'holiday' every morning.
Hair of the Dog
1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. whiskey
1/4 oz. Tabasco Sauce
1/4 oz. salt
Pour Tabasco, tequila and whiskey into a shot glass. Lay salt on top.
8 Mass for Broken Needles (Japanese). The bane of seamstresses and DJs alike. Sake.
9 Feast Day of Apollo (Greek). The Sun God must be appeased! Tequila Sunrise.
10 Creation Day (Mayan). On this day in 3641 B.C. the Mayans reckoned Tepen and Gucmats created the world.
God's Great Creation
2 1/2 oz whiskey
1 oz peach schnapps
5 tblsp orange-banana fruit punch (frozen)
Juice of one lemon
Pepsi
Pour whiskey and peach schnapps over ice cubes in a highball glass. Add frozen punch (no water). Squeeze in lemon juice and top with Pepsi. Stir well.
11 Empire Day (Japan). Yeah, maybe next time, Tojo. Kamikaze.
12 Charles Darwin's Birthday (1809). Celebrate the genius who made monkeys of us all..
Dirty Monkey
1 1/2 oz Irish cream
1 oz Dark rum
1 1/2 oz Cognac
Mix in order. Do not stir. Serve in brandy snifter.
13 Oliver Reed's Birthday (1938). His check still hangs on the wall of the Malta bar where he drank nearly two bottles of rum and 20 pints with British sailors. Old Navy Rum.
14 St. Valentine's Day. Patron saint of kidney disease and, uh, romantic stuff. Champagne at a fancy restaurant or whiskey sours with your cat.
15 National Sea Monkey Day. I am not making this up. Brass Monkey.
16 The Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks was formed from the The Jolly Corks, a drinking society. If my uncle's behavior is any indication, the only thing they changed was the name. Jagermeister.
17 Feast of Fools (Ancient Rome). Take your friends to dinner, then pretend to have forgotten your wallet. Expensive wine.
18 Spenta Armaiti (Zoroastrian). Ancient hippy festival. Jug wine.
19 Lee Marvin's Birthday (1924). Drink like a man, goddamn you. Bourbon from the bottle.
20 Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day. At high noon everyone yells "Hoodie-Hoo" to chase away winter and usher in spring.
Crazy Swede
1 oz ouzo
1 oz vodka
1 tblsp cinnamon schnapps
Shake with ice, strain, shout Hoodie-Hoo and shoot.
21 Polaroid Camera introduced (1947). Drunken foolishness now readily transferable to bar walls. Shot of Beam while flipping the bird.
22 National Margarita Day. Gee, what shall we drink? Margarita.
23 Terminalia (Roman). Celebration of the Roman God of Boundaries, superceding the Feast of That God Who Collected Oddly Shaped Rocks.
The Terminator
1 1/2 oz Rumple Minze
1 1/2 oz black sambuca
Half fill shot glass with Rumple, top off with sambuca.
24 Flight of Kings Feast (Roman). Chase your boss down the street with a stick. Little Kings Cream Ale.</font>
25 International Quiet Day. Oh, yeah? Who's gonna enforce it? The U.N.? Those guys are pussies! Loud mouth soup (Dewar's neat).
26 Jackie Gleason (1916) and Johnny Cash's Birthday (1932). And awaaay we go to the bar. Scotch served neat in a teacup.
27 Runic Half-Month of Tyr begins. That's according to the cosmic pillar.
Any Reason to Drink Cocktail
1 oz vodka
1 oz gin
1 oz rum
Sprite
Lime slice
Mix the liquor, top with Sprite, garnish with lime.
28 St. Oswald of York's Day. He was also known as St. Oswald of Worcester. Everybody loved that goddamn monk. Old English Malt Liquor.
29 Leap Year Day. In Estonia it's traditional to jump over a wicker chair. Those kooky, fun-loving Estonians sure know how to party.
Leap Year Cocktail
1 1/4 oz gin
1/2 oz Grand Marnier
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
1/4 tsp lemon juice
Shake ingredients with ice, strain.
March
1 National Beer Day (Iceland). Celebrates the end of 75 years of prohibition of beer in 1989. Ice cold brew. 2 First Festival of Vesta (Roman). You're going to want to whoop it up on this one, because the second one kinda sucks. Tuaca.
3 National Mulled Wine Day. No need to mull over this one.
Bad Pun Punch
3 oz Rum
Orange juice
2 tblsp Grenadine
Shake and strain.
4 America's first tavern opens (1634). Imagine the line outside the door. Make a run down the taps.
5 Failed Coup Day (Equatorial Guinea). At least when when you fuck up they don't commemorate it with a goddamn national holiday. Pisco.
6 Anniversary of the Battle of the Alamo (1836). Whiskey drinkers fight to the death for Texas. Lone Star Beer.
7 Switzerland gave women the right to vote (1971). Better late than never, eh, ladies? Ladies choice.
8 International Women's Day. Hear that, you goddamn Swiss? Who's in charge now? Foo-foo drinks.
9 Feast of the 40 Martyrs (Greek). New slang: "I'm gonna get as drunk as forty Greek martyrs." Forty of your choice.
10 Junoalia (Roman). Celebrates Juno, Roman Goddess of Art, Love, Light, Hearth and a buncha other sissy stuff.
Tattooed Love Goddess
1 oz vodka
1 oz vanilla schnapps
1 1/2 oz Godiva Liqueur
1 oz cream
Fill glass with ice, add liqueurs, top with cream, shake well.
11 Hercules' Day (Greek). Hercules was known for whipping up on mutants. Murphy's Stout.
12 Jack Kerouac's Birthday (1922). Road trip! Gas station beer.
13 Runic Half-Month of Tyr ends. I was beginning to think that motherfucker was never going to end. Fat Tire.
14 Veturius Mamurius (Roman). A festival celebrating armor. Those Romans weren't exactly picky when looking for an excuse to get housed on the vino. Italian wine.
15 Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor marry for the first time (1964). Forming the greatest husband/wife drinking team of the century. Vodka tonic and champagne.
16 Bacchus Day. Christmas for drunkards. Flagons and flagons of wine.
17 St. Patrick's Day. Chase the snakes out of your mind. Green beer.
18 Sheelah's Day (Ireland). Honors the woman who historians reckon was either the mother or wife of St. Patrick.
Forbidden Taboo Cocktail
1 oz white rum
1 oz Midori Melon Liqueur
1 oz pineapple juice
2 tsps lemon juice
2 drops grenadine
Combine in blender with crushed ice. Blend until smooth.
19 Minerva's Day (Roman). Celebrates Roman Goddess of Crafts, Trades — and War. Just in case you were thinking about frontin'.
Warsteiner Beer.
20 Martini Season begins. The triumphant return of the Stemmed Glass Satan. Martini.
21 End of the World Day (Iran). Better drink up while you can.
End of the World
1 oz Bacardi 151
1 oz Wild Turkey 101
1 oz vodka
Serve warm in a shot glass.
22 Kaiser Wilhelm I's Birthday (1797). "Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world." St. Pauli Girl.
23 Rally For Decency Day. Hear that, you savages? Country Club Malt Liquor in civilized company.
24 Day of Blood (Roman). Watch your back. St. Ides (of March).
25 Waffle Day (Sweden). Double waffles all around! I'm buying!
Warsaw Waffle
2 oz vodka
1 oz maple syrup
Mix, shoot.
26 Leonard Nimoy's Birthday (1931). Lush long and proper.
Vulcan Mind Probe
1/2 oz Ouzo
1/2 oz 151 proof rum
Mix ,shoot.
27 The corkscrew is patented (1860). Making it no longer necessary to push the cork down into the bottle with a pen. Corked wine.
28 Festival of the Sacrifice at the Tombs (Roman). Graveyard party! Woo-hoo! Zombie.
29 Expulsion of the Demons of Bad Luck Festival (Tibet). Demonic possession is bad enough, but bad luck demons? Believe me, you don't want 
'em.
Exorcism By Fire
1 1/2 oz Pernod
1 lemon wedge
6 dashes Tabasco Sauce
sugar
Coat the lemon wedge with sugar. Douse the lemon wedge with the 6 dashes of Tabasco. Shoot the Pernod and suck the lemon.
30 Doctor's Day. Me, I prefer to follow Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's advice. Apple schnapps.
31 Tater Day. Potato growers are notoriously informal. Potato vodka.
April
1 April Fool's Day. AKA The Day of Abject Cruelty Posing as Good Natured Hijinks. Zima. (Gotcha!) 2 Anniversary of Battle of the Flowers (French). Only the French would fight over flowers. Fernet Branca.
3 Festival of Min (Egyptian). Min was the god of wheat and sex. Wheat beer in a sexy glass.
4 First home phone installed (1877). Making it ridiculously easy for the hungover masses to call in sick. Bloody Mary.
5 Tomb Sweeping Day (Chinese). Because, you know, those tombs can get awfully dusty. Tombstone Whiskey.
6 Merle Haggard's Birthday (1937). Songs included "Whiskey Bent and Hellbound" and "The Whiskey Ain't Working." Hope he was right. George Dickel Whiskey.
7 Robert Peary reaches the North Pole (1909). His provisions included a case of Guinness. Ice cold Guinness.
8 International Feng Shui Awareness Day. Just think how much your personal energy would improve if you moved the beer in your fridge to your stomach. A refrigerator of beer.
9 Hugh Hefner's Birthday. Wear a smoking jacket to the bar. Champagne.
10 National Alcohol Screening Day. If you don't have a cocktail strainer, you can screen it through your fingers.
Butterfinger
1 1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 1/2 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
2 oz milk
Pour butterscotch schnapps and Bailey's over ice, top with milk, shake it up, screen into glass.
11 Barbershop Quartet Day. Hooch away the horror. Old Fashioned.
12 Walk on Your Wild Side Day. Visit a bar that doesn't care for your type. Wild Turkey 101.
13 Thomas Jefferson's Birthday (1743). Ran up $100,000 wine tab while in the White House. American wine.
14 Anniversary of the Titanic Striking an Iceberg. Actual quote by one of the chaps at the ship's main lounge: "I ordered ice with my drink, but this is ridiculous." Scotch and soda, hold the ice.
15 Tax Day. If you ever needed a reason to drink, here it is. Whatever you can afford.
16 Kingsley Amis' Birthday (1922). Writer's epitaph saluted him as a "supreme clubman, boozer and blimp." Fat Bastard Chardonnay.
17 Daffy Duck makes his debut (1937). Do you best imitation. Cold Duck (burgundy and champagne).
18 Paul Revere makes his midnight ride (1775). Make your own ride before the liquor stores close. White Horse Scotch.
19 Homer Simpson makes his first appearance on television. Woo-hoo! Sweet, sweet beer.
20 National Karaoke Week begins. Ever notice how getting drunk makes you sound like Sinatra and everyone else sound like retards? Shot of courage.
21 Alferd G. Packer Day. University of Colorado's cafeteria is named after the famous cannibal. Dead Guy Ale.
22 Jack Nicholson's Birthday (1937). Heeeeeere's Johnny! Johnny Walker Black.
23 The Reinheitsgebot is adopted (1516). German purity law demands that beer only be made of malt, yeast, hops and water. Good German beer.
24 National Remembrance of Man's Inhumanity To Man Day. Atone for your barroom behavior. Solemn shots of tequila.
25 Cuckoo Day (English). Get cuckoo for cocoa shots!
Cocoa Shot
1 1/2 oz cognac
1/2 oz white chocolate liqueur
1/2 oz amaretto
1/2 oz cream
1 Maraschino cherry
Shake with ice, strain, garnish with a maraschino cherry, shoot.
26 Richter Scale Day. Shake it, baby, shake it!
Earthquake
1/3 gin
1/3 whisky
1/3 Pernod (Absinthe if you got it)
Shake with ice, strain.
27 Ulysses S. Grant's Birthday (1822). When informed that Grant was a drunkard, Lincoln retorted: "Find out what brand of whiskey Grant drinks, because I want to send a barrel of it to each one of my generals." Whiskey.
28 Crew of the HMS Bounty mutinied (1789). Among other outrages, the Captain cut off their grog. Rum.
29 Casse Canarie (Haitian Voodoo). AKA Breaking the Jugs, so as to free lost souls from purgatory. Makes sure you empty them first. Jug of rum.
30 Willie Nelson's Birthday (1933). Talk about follow through: He not only sings about whiskey, he distills the stuff. Whiskey River Whiskey.
May
1 May Day. Comrade drunkards of the world, unite! We've nothing to lose but our outstanding bar tabs! Red wine. 2 Manfred Von Richthofen's Birthday (1892). The Red Baron drank a shot of schnapps for every one of the 80 aircraft he downed. Schnapps.
3 James Brown's birthday (1928). Get up on your drunk foot! Night Train Wine.
4 National Homebrew Day. No, really it's . . . it's . . . good! Where'd you say your bathroom was? Homebrew.
5 Cinco de Mayo. Like St. Patty's, except the Mexicans chased out frogs instead of snakes. Tequila.
6 Orson Welles' Birthday (1915). Drink no wine before it's time. And it's time. Paul Masson Wine.
7 Homespun History Day. Remember that time you drank a keg all by yourself? Let the world know!
Truth Serum
1 oz Courvoisier
1 oz Cointreau
Juice of one lemon.
Shake with ice, shoot and tell the troot.
8 Moslem New Year's Eve. We must drink because they cannot.
Desert Water
1 1/2 oz Tabasco Sauce
1 1/2 oz tequila
Pour Tabasco into shot glass, then use a spoon when you pour the tequila, so they don't mix. Shoot.
9 Victory Day (USSR). Better luck next time, Ivan. Black Russian.
10 Human Kindness Day. Alert your bartender. Shot on the house.
11 Baron von Munchausen's Birthday (1720). German adventurer/storyteller drank his way around the world. Something adventurous.
12 International Limerick Day. Revive the lost art of barroom ribaldry. Irish whiskey.
13 Word "cocktail" first used in print (1806). Replaced the less toothsome term bittered sling. As many different cocktails as you can stand.
14 Anniversary of Geronimo's Corn Liquor Rebellion (1885). Apaches rose up against a ban on reservation moonshine. Firewater.
15 Las Vegas founded (1905). Took the mob to make it fun. Ten High Whiskey.
16 Animal Day. "He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man."—Dr. Johnson. Road Dog Ale.
17 Anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby (1875). "It's a fantastic scene—thousands of people fainting, crying, copulating, trampling each other and fighting with broken whiskey bottles."—Hunter S. Thompson. Mint Julep.
18 Largest Margarita ever made (7000 gallons) was assembled in Orlando (2001). Stand back, boys, I'm going in. Huge Margarita. Huge.
19 Orphan Day (Spain). Provide a nice, warm home for any abandoned drink you come across. Potluck.
20 Last episode of "Cheers" airs (1993). Who shall remember our names? Draft beer.
21 National Waitstaff Day. Dig deep for the drink slingers. A shot of Gran Ma in the walk in.
22 American astronauts walk on Mars (1962). According to that kook in the film Slackers.
Fuzzy Astronaut
1/2 tsp Tang, powdered
1 oz vodka
1 oz shot peach schnapps.
Shake and shoot.
23 Declaration of the Bab (Baha'i). Bab was the heralder of the Beer Bellied One (Buddha). Full calorie beer.
24 International Jazz Day. Booze it up with the be-bop. Wine-spidodi.
25 National Wine Day. The only day of the year men can drink wine in a bar without feeling all sissified. House wine.
26 John Wayne's birthday (1907). "He drank enough whiskey to float a PT boat."—Ronald Reagan. Shot of redeye in a dirty glass.
27 Throw the Bastards Out Day. Don't bring this up at last call.
Arrogant Bastard Ale.
28 Ian Fleming's Birthday (1908). Bond creator had more effect on U.S. drinking habits than all the prohibitionists in the world. Martini, shaken not stirred.
29 Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas unleashed on the reading public. "What? No! We can't stop here! This is bat country!" Barcardi Rum.
30 Feast of the Queen of the Underworld Begins (Roman). You may have a date with her later, so you best suck up now.
Hell Mary
1 oz aquavit
1/2 oz tequila
2 oz Spicy V-8
Dash bitters
Dash Tabasco Sauce
Dash horseradish sauce
Shake vigorously, add black pepper to taste and garnish with celery and lemon wedge. Serve in Collins glass filled with ice.
31 Clint Eastwood's Birthday (1930). The question is, do you feel thirsty, punk? Well, do you? Magnum Malt Liquor.
June
1 Latrobe Brewing Co. founded (1939). The "33" on Rolling Rock bottles is an homage to a copywriting typo. Rolling Rock.
2 Vandals sack Rome (477). Rally your tribe and invade a snooty wine bar.
Fall of Rome
2 oz Dry vermouth
1 oz Brandy
Dash Sherry
Dash Rose's Lime Juice
Orange juice
Pour vermouth and brandy into glass, add lime, fill with orange juice, stir. Splash brandy on top, serve with straw.
3 Cain murdered Abel (Hebrew). Stick your bro with the tab. Top shelf liquor.
4 Socrates' Birthday (469 BC). Beware of cocktails mixed by enemies.
Poison Cocktail
1 oz vodka
1 oz Parfait D'Amour
1 oz bitter lemon.
Mix the liquor, top with bitter lemon.
5 Pancho Villa's Birthday (1878). Last words: "Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something." Pancho Villa Tequila.
6 Anniversary of D-Day. Fullbore drunkards FDR and Churchill drive stake in that evil teetotaler Hitler's heart. Steel Reserve 211.
7 Dean Martin's Birthday (1917). "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day." Scotch rocks.
8 Name Your Poison Day. Build up your immunity to the nasty stuff. You name it.
9 The Witch Is Dead Day. Hatchet-wielding, saloon-smashing prohibitionist Carrie nation croaks in 1911. Saloon whiskey.
10 Alcoholics Anonymous established. Where the bad drunks go.
So Long Sucker
1 oz Absolut Kurant
1 oz Absolut Citron
1 oz Apple Pucker
1 oz Blue Maui
Shake with ice, strain.
11 Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Fake a note from your doctor. 3.2 beer.
12 Baseball is invented (1839). Drinking beer takes on a whole new meaning. Pitcher of beer.
13 Alexander the Great drinks himself to death (323 BC). The "I Just Conquered The Whole Damn World Party" got a little out of hand. Brandy Alexander.
14 Che Guevera's (1928) and Donald Trump's (1946) Birthdays. Pick a fight with yourself. Expensive champagne and cheap tequila.
15 Waylon Jennings Birthday (1937). Outlaw musician was one of Buddy Holly's Crickets. Moonshine.
16 Day of the Rat (Buddhist). "Never rat on a rat."—Rat Pack's official motto. Whatever you can steal.
17 Battle for Bunker Hill Day (1775). Defend your barstool to the bitter end. PBR.
18 Battle of Waterloo (1815). Reenact the battle in your stomach with cognac and gin. You heard me.
19 Miller High Life unleashed on the drinking public (1903). Named after a brand of cigar. Miller High Life.
20 Errol Flynn's Birthday (1909). Raise a stiff one to the swashbuckling souse.
In Like Flynn Cocktail
1 1/2 oz spiced rum
1 1/2 oz Irish Mist
Mix and shoot.
21 Gin and Tonic Season begins. You can now drink G&Ts without any risk to your masculinity. Gin and tonic.
22 Zeppelin Day. Drink it up and burn it down.
Flaming Hindenburg
1 oz Bacardi 151
1/2 oz peppermint schnapps
1/2 oz Southern Comfort
1/2 oz tequila
Layer with 151 rum on top. Ignite, blow it out, shoot.
23 St. Agrippina Day. Patron saint against evil spirits, leprosy and thunder. Grappa.
24 Feast of the Sun (Aztec). Drink 'til the sun comes up. Sol Cervesa.
25 Anniversary of Custer's Last Stand (1876). Make your own stand at the bar.
Last Stand
1/2 oz ouzo
1/2 oz vodka
6 drops Tabasco Sauce
Mix and shoot.
26 Bicycle patented (1819). "Scotch needs water like a fish needs a bicycle."—W.C. Fields. Fat Tire.
27 Death of Julian the Blessed Festival (Roman). Jules, baby! We never even knew ya, kid! Strega.
28 Paul Bunyan Day. Imagine that poor bastard's bar tabs. Beer, straight from the pitcher.
29 St. Peter's Day. Patron saint of clockmakers, fishermen, Russia; against fever, foot trouble and wolves. Red Wolf Red Ale.
30 Superman debuted in print (1938). Booze 'til you're bulletproof.
Kryptonite
1 oz Midori melon liqueur
1/2 oz Rumple Minze
1/2 oz Goldschlager
1 oz shot Bacardi 151
Pour into shot glass, layer with 151.
July
1 The Feast of the Most Precious Blood. Creepy Catholic celebration celebrates Christ bleeding. Rusty Nail. 2 National Literacy Day. Attempt to write the Great American Novel on bar napkins—one drink at a time. Booker's Bourbon.
3 International Civil Disobedience Day. No, I will not show you my ID! Screwdrivers at home.
4 Independence Day (USA). Celebrate our freedom to drink crappy American beer. Bud.
5 Peace and Unity Day (Rwanda). Seethe irony and sarcasm. Virgin Bloody Mary, except with vodka.
6 The Running of the Bulls Festival begins. Substitute bouncers for bulls. Schlitz Malt Liquor.
7 Great Gatsby Festival. Suit up and drink like you got a million bucks. Cosmopolitan.
8 Julius Caesar's Birthday (100 BC). Et tu, boozus?
Bloody Caesar
2 oz vodka
1 dash worcestershire sauce
1 dash Tabasco Sauce
1 oz Clamato Juice
Celery salt
Pepper
Rim tall glass with celery salt, fill with ice and ingredients. Garnish with a celery stick and lime.
9 National POW/MIA Day. Raise a glass to brothers lost. Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
10 National Pina Colada Day. "Yes, I like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."—Rupert Holmes. Pina Colada.
11 Buffalo Bill Day. Saved our young nation from marauding bison. Buffalo Trace Whiskey.
12 Milton Berle's Birthday. "If it wasn't for the olives in his martinis, he'd starve to death." Martinis, extra olives.
13 Fool's Paradise Day. See you at the bar. Whatever you're buying.
14 Bastille Day (French). Fourth of July for francophiles. Cognac.
15 Respect Canada Day. Okay, but only because of hockey and the Mackenzie brothers, eh? Molson.
16 Anniversary of the Whiskey Rebellion. In 1794 American farmers rose up against the federal government to protest new taxes on liquor. Bottle of liquor from the duty-free shop.
17 St. Alexis' Day. Patron saint of panhandlers. PBR draft.
18 Hunter S. Thompson's Birthday (1937). "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." Wild Turkey.
19 St Arnold's Day. The patron saint of beer spent his life teaching that water was dangerous and beer was dangerously delicious. Chimay Ale.
20 Cockney Day. Get Brahms and Liszt down at the rub-a-dub-dub. Giggle and titter.
21 Ernest Hemingway's Birthday (1899). Celebrate the man who taught two generations how to drink.
Papa Doble
2 1/2 ounces White Bacardi Rum
Juice of 1/2 grapefruit
6 drops grenadine
Mix with half scoop of ice in a blender. Garnish with a cherry.
22 John Dillinger is gunned down outside a movie theatre (1934). Should have went to the pub.
Gangbuster Punch
1 1/2 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz peach schnapps
1 oz cranberry juice
Splash 7-Up
Shake well, strain.
23 Raymond Chandler's Birthday (1888). Literary father of the booze-belting P.I. Rye whiskey.
24 National Tequila Day. AKA Wake Up In Jail Day. Tequila.
25 St. Christopher's Day. Patron saint of bikers and bachelors.
Confirmed Bachelor
1 1/2 oz Gin
1 tsp Grenadine
1/2 tsp Rose's Lime Juice
1 Egg white
Shake with ice, strain.
26 Revolution Day (Cuba). Fidel continues to revolt. Cuba Libre.
27 National Scotch Day. "Well, between scotch and nothin', I suppose I'd take scotch. It's the nearest thing to good moonshine I can find." —William Faulkner. Scotch (if there's no 'shine on hand).
28 Hurricane Supplication Day (Virgin Islands). Fight fire with fire. Hurricanes.
29 Rasputin's Birthday (1871). Wino monk held sway over the Russian empire. Madeira wine (his favorite).
30 All American Soap Box Derby Day. Recapture those forgotten memories of childhood glory. Gin and ginger ale.
31 Jimmy Hoffa disappears (1975). Left behind a lotta outstanding bar tabs. Union-made beer.
August
1 Modern Drunkard Magazine was unleashed on the drinking public (1996). Rise up, boozehead! Anything and everything.
2 Peter O'Toole's Birthday (1932). "I was so drunk I thought I was Peter O'Toole."—Richard Burton. Irish whiskey.
3 Feast of Caligo (Roman). All hail the Mother of Chaos! Mix whatever's on hand in a bucket.
4 St. Sithney's Day. Patron saint of mad dogs. Something frothy.
5 Andy Capp debuted in Britain's Daily Mirror (1957). Best comic strip ever. As many pints as your lady will buy you.
6 Robert Mitchum's Birthday (1917). "The only difference between me and my fellow actors is that I've spent more time in jail."
Extended Jail Sentence
1 oz Jack Daniels
1 oz Southern Comfort
1 oz Gold tequila
Flash blend with ice, serve.
7 Customer Appreciation Day. Hip your bartender to this one. One on the cuff.
8 Anniversary of the Great Train Robbery (1963). Pub pals make off with $7 million. Beer with your more ambitious buddies.
9 National Polka Day. Doesn't sound so bad if you're really, really drunk. Steins of beer.
10 St. Lawrence of Rome's Day. Patron saint of cooks, protector of vineyards. Cooking sherry.
11 Puck Fair (Irish). In Ireland Puck is often blamed for finishing pub-goers drinks. Your barstool neighbor's drink.
12 International Youth Day. When they march past the pub, taunt them with your drink. Aged scotch.
13 Don Ho's Birthday (1930). Patron saint of fat drunk guys in loud Hawaiian shirts. Tiki drinks.
14 Trifon Zaresan Festival. Bulgarian wine drinking celebration. Bulgarian wine.
15 Liechtenstein National Day. The populace of this tiny monarchy drink more per capita than anyone on the planet.
Mighty Mouse
1 oz Vodka
3/4 oz Triple sec
3/4 oz Grenadine
Mix and shoot.
16 Charles Bukowski's Birthday (1920). Open andclose a dive. Thunderbird.
17 Feast of the Hungry Ghosts (China). Remember: Ghosts are afraid of whiskey. Whiskey.
18 Bad Poetry Day. That's every day for some of you. Port.
19 Burn Witch Burn Day (1609). Among the crimes the Salem witches were accused of was making good beer go bad.
Frisky Witch
1 1/2 oz Black Sambuca
1 1/2 oz Vodka
Mix and shoot.
20 National Homeless Animals Day. If activists tied a bottle of scotch around every stray's neck, they would all be adopted immediately. And named Lucky. Lucky Lager.
21 National Forgiveness Day. Good day to test the endurance of those 86s. Whatever you can get away with.
22 Dorothy Parker's Birthday (1893). "I like to have a martini, two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host." At least four martinis.
23 Anniversary of the Death of William "Braveheart" Wallace. When they cruelly drag you out of the pub, make sure you roar, "Freedom! Freedom!" Scotch.
24 Festival of Vulcan and the Nymphs (Roman). Vulcan was a forerunner of Hef. Jello shot.
25 Sean Connery's Birthday (1930). The one true Bond. Martini.
26 Woman's Equality Day. Let the ladies pick up the tab. Top shelf.
27 Feast of Incandescent Rebellion (China). Light up a dim dive with your sparkling personality. Flaming drinks.
28 St. Augustine of Hippo's Day. Patron saint of brewers wrote that God didn't mind the occasional bender. Trappist ale.
29 Pardon the Sea Day (British). Damned polite of them, considering all the sailors they've lost. Grog.
30 Aga-Ou Festival (Voodoo). Top notch voodoo elephant festival. Voodoo Spiced Rum.
31 Snake Dance Festival (Hopi). Best performed after falling off a barstool. King Cobra Malt Liquor.
September 1 Labor Day. "A person can work up a mean mean thirst after a hard day of nothin' much." —Replacements.
Working Man's Zinfandel
2 oz tequila
2 oz scotch
1 oz cinnamon schnapps
1 oz peach schnapps
Sprite
Mix liquor with ice, top with Sprite.
2 World War II ends (1945). Drunks save the free world from tyrannical teetotaler.
Victory Collins
1 1/2 oz Vodka
3 oz lemon juice
3 oz grape juice, unsweetened
1 tsp powdered sugar
1 slice orange
Shake with ice, strain into a Collins glass over ice cubes. Garnish with orange slice.
3 Lost Day. Good day to start a bender. Pint of rye.
4 Looking For the Boundaries Day (Cuchumatan Indians, Guatemala Highlands). Test the boundaries of last call. Mescal.
5 On the Road published. Barhop like Cassady and Kerouac. Cheap beer.
6 Read a Book Day. See if they have a bartender's bible behind the bar. Flop the guide open and see what you get.
7 Keith Moon overdosed on drugs prescribed to combat his alcohol problem (1978). Well, it cured his drinking. Booze, hold the drugs.
8 Star Trek debuts (1966). Kirk and his lusty band of drunks are unleashed on the universe. Romulan Ale.
9 Horned Dance Festival (Pagan). Ah yes, the horned dance. You know the one. Sex on the Beach.
10 Buy a Regular a Drink Day. Wonder who came up with this one. Cheapest draft.
11 National Tricky Handshake Day. We kid you not. Left Hand Sawtooth Ale.
12 H.L. Mencken's Birthday (1880). H.L. estimated that 17,864,392,788 cocktails could be conceivably mixed from the ingredients a well-stocked bar. 5,054,458s and lots of 'em.
13 National Peanut Day. And you know what goes with peanuts. Draft beer.
14 Slaughter of the Pig at Santa Maria delle Grazie (Italian). When the Italian's have a pig roast, they really do it up. Negroni.
15 Feast of Our Lady of Sorrows. Perk her up by picking up the tab. Whatever the lady wants.
16 Day of the Great Mother (Pagan). We all know a few. Gran Ma.
17 M.A.S.H. debuts (1972). "Swill gin? Sir, I have sipped, lapped, and taken gin intravenously but I have never swilled." —Hawkeye. Gin martini, Sahara dry.
18 Captain Nelson discovered Jeannie in a bottle (1965). Was only slightly disappointed she wasn't bourbon.
Jeannie's Dream
4 oz Malibu Rum
2 oz sloe gin
2 oz orange juice
2 oz pineapple juice
2 oz 7-Up
Mix Malibu, juices and 7-Up. Gently top with sloe gin.
19 Feast of Thoth (Egyptian). The god purported to have taught the Egyptians how to make beer. Pyramid Pale Ale.
20 Alexander the Great's Birthday (256 BC). Conquered the world while on a bender. Tequila Alexander.
21 Swiss National Yodeling Festival. You never know until you try. Longneck bottled beer (to defend yourself).
22 National Wine Week begins. Week-long bender! MD 20/20.
23 John Paul Jones victorious (1779). Declare, "I have not yet begun to drink!" at last call and see how far it gets you. 24 F. Scott Fitzgerald's Birthday (1896). "Sometimes I wish I'd went through those good times stone cold sober so I could remember everything—but then again, if I 'd been sober the times probably wouldn't have been worth remembering." Champagne Cocktail.
25 William Faulkner's Birthday (1897). "There's no such thing as bad whiskey. Some just happen to be better than others." Well whiskey.
26 Gilligan's Island debuts (1964). Fact: 70% of men prefer MaryAnne.
Gilligan's Island
1 oz vodka
1 oz peach schnapps
3 oz orange juice
3 oz cranberry juice
Shake, pour over ice.
27 Samuel Adams' Birthday (1722). Patriot, brewer, boozehead. Sam Adams Lager.
28 Drink As Much Beer As Possible Day. Started in Milwaukee. Case of Old Milwaukee.
29 Festival of Tezcatzonctl (Aztec). All Hail the Chief Aztec God of Intoxication! Tequila.
30 Cheers debuts (1982). "Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're demanding beer."—Norm. A trough of beer and a snorkel.
October
1 The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson and world-class drunkard Ed McMahon debuted (1962). Hi-yooooo! Bourbon in a coffee cup.
2 Groucho Marx's Birthday (1890). "I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." Country Club Malt Liquor.
3 St. Dionysus Day. The drunk monk, not the wine god. Chimay Ale.
4 Vodka Day. "Vodka is our enemy, so we must utterly consume it!"—Russian idiom in response to Soviet anti-vodka campaign. The enemy.
5 Monty Python's Flying Circus debuts (1969). American Beer is a lot like making love in a row boat—it's fucking close to water." —Eric Idle. Holy Grail Ale.
6 National German-American Day. Their beer tastes so much better when they're not shooting at us. Bourbon and schnapps.
7 The Budweiser (Czech version) brewery begins operations (1895). You guys wanna trade? Czech Budweiser.
8 Anniversary of the Great Chicago Fire (1871). Started by a sober cow. White Russian.
9 St. Denis' Day. Patron saint against frenzies and headaches, in that order. Hair of the dog that mauled you.
10 Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor remarried (1975). Reuniting the century's finest husband/wife drinking team. Flat champagne.
11 Vinalia (Roman). The biggest Roman wine shindig of the year. Flagons of wine.
12 Columbus Day. Explore new bars and libations. Cutty Sark.
13 Sammy Hagar's Birthday (1947). "Once I tasted really good tequila I became a new man." Cabo Wabo Tequila.
14 Mega Kenka Matsui (Japan). Rough house festival in which shrine palanquins jostle each other. Yes! Sapporo Beer.
15 UB40's Red Red Wine reached top of U.S. charts (1988). Suddenly drinking vino seemed kind of cool. Red, red wine.
16 Oscar Wilde's Birthday (1854). "Work is the curse of the drinking classes." Absinthe.
17 Anniversary of the First Oktoberfest (1810). Over a million gallons of beer were guzzled at Prince Ludwig's wedding. Beck's .
18 Persons Day (Canada). Celebrates the day women were recognized as "persons." Pink Lady.
19 Reptile Awareness Day. Hold your heads up high, lounge lizards. Rum and Coke.
20 National Brandied Fruit Day. In a pinch, you can mix brandy with a can of fruit cocktail. You heard me.
21 Anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar (1805). Grog guzzlers trounce the wine snobs. Navy Rum and Coke.
22 National Nut Day. You know who you are. Nut Brown Ale.
23 Hungarian Independence Day. So long vodka, hello sweet, sweet freedom.
The Mad Hungarian
4oz shots Rum
12 oz Root beer
Pour rum over ice in a beer mug. Top with root beer.
24 United Nations Day. Unite the liquors of the world into one body—yours. Long Island Ice Tea.
25 Anniversary of the Charge of the Light Brigade (1854). "Their's not to reason why, their's but to do and die." Light beer.
26 Anniversary of the Gunfight at the OK Corral (1881). Doc Holliday's last words while drinking a glass of whiskey: "This is funny." Whiskey (but not funny whiskey).
27 Dylan Thomas' Birthday (1914). "An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do." White Horse Scotch.
28 St. Jude's Day. Patron saint of hopeless causes. Tequiza.
29 Hermit Day. Stay home and drink all by your lonesome. Yukon Jack.
30 Feast of the Dead Children (Toltec). Oh, those creepy, creepy Toltecs. Mescal.
31 Halloween. Suit up as a historical drunk. Zombie.
November
1 Dia de los Muertos (Mexican). Raise a drink to lost friends. Dead Guy Ale.
2 Festival of Odin (Norse). Vikings believed they went on an eternal drinking binge with Odin if they died in combat. Glogg.
3 First dog goes to space (1957). Laika lasted two hours in orbit. Flying Dog Ale.
4 Cash register patented. Originally created to combat stealing by bartenders in a Dayton, Ohio saloon. One on the cuff.
5 Guy Fawkes' Day (British). Celebrating the kook who tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament. Car Bomb.
6 St. Leonard's Day. Patron saint of prisoners. Jailhouse Pruno.
7 Lono's Day (Hawaiian). Party with Hunter S. Thompson's favorite war god. Blue Hawaiian.
8 Abet & Aid Punsters Day Mania Festival (Roman). Like those bastards need our help. A drunk baseball player (a pitcher full of beer).
9 Feast of the Four Crowned Martyrs (Freemason). I sense a conspiracy. Crown Royal.
10 Stanley Found Livingstone, he presumed (1871). Seek out long lost bar buddies. Gin and tonic.
11 St. Martin's Day. Patron saint of drunkards.
St. Martin Cocktail
1 1/2 oz gin
1 1/2 white rum
1 oz bitter lemon
Dash Angostura Bitters
Pour gin and rum over ice, top with bitter lemon, add angostura, stir.
12 Brotherhood of Fools founded (1381). Haven't you put off your membership long enough? Old Milwaukee.
13 Stenia, the Bitching Festival (Wiccans). Let 'em know exactly how you feel.
Bitch On Wheels
2 oz gin
1/2 oz dry vermouth
1/2 oz white creme de menthe
1 tsp Pernod
Stir with ice, strain.
14 Moccas' Day (Celtic). Pig goddess festival. Blind Pig Ale.
15 National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day. Make sure you load it with beer before you begin. As much beer as you can cram in your refrigerator.
16 W.C. Handy's Birthday (1873). "I think a guy who's had just the right amount of booze can sing the blues a hell of a lot better than a guy who is stone sober."—Charlie Rich. Bourbon, neat.
17 Penance Day (Germany). Now, what would the Germans have to be penitent about?
War All the Time
2 1/2 oz vodka
1 oz Aftershock
3 oz tequila
2 oz beer
1 can frozen lemonade
Pour all into a blender. Blend until smooth.
18 Festival of the Nine Lotus Leaves (Chinese). Controlled by the Goddess of Mercy, Guan Yin. Nine shots of Maotai.
19 Warlock Day. According to ancient belief, the first stranger you meet on this day dressed entirely in black will be a warlock. Demon rum.
20 Revolution Day (Mexico). Drink until you have your own revolution(s). Tequila Slammer.
21 Feast of Hathor (Egyptian). The cow goddess Hathor wanted to destroy mankind, but Ra tricked her into drinking beer and passing out instead. Delicious, humanity-saving beer.
22 Anniversary of the Founding of the Friendly Sons of St. Vitus (1915). Pro-drinking not-so-secret society founded by journalists in a ship's lounge. Cape Cod.
23 First jukebox installed (1889). Threatening the piano player no longer necessary. Boilermaker.
24 Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec's Birthday (1864). Raise one to that lovable absinthe-swilling, whoremongering dwarf. Absinthe.
25 Women's Merrymaking Day (Wiccan). Live it up, ladies! Girlie drinks.
26 Casablanca premiered (1942). Strasser: "What's your nationality?" Rick: "I'm a drunkard." Gin joint gin.
27 Bruce Lee's Birthday (1940). Rent Enter the Dragon and take a drink every time Lee's feet leave the ground. Forty of Midnight Dragon.
28 William Blake's Birthday (1757). "The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom." One for the road.
29 Ice discovered on the Moon (1996). As soon as they discover scotch, I'm building my rocket ship. Red Rocket Ale.
30 Winston Churchill's birthday (1874). "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." Churchill Martini (pour the gin and glare across the room at a bottle of vermouth.)
December
1 Festival of Poseidon (Greek). Let the Sea God drown your sorrows. Sea Breeze.
2 St. Bibiana's Day. Patron saint of hangovers. Bloody Mary.
3 Cold War officially ended (1989). The dawn of the New World Disorder. The spoils of war—vodka.
4 First Man killed by a bowling ball (1982). Kinda surprised it took so long. Bowling alley beer.
5 Drunkard Liberation Day (1933). National prohibition is repealed in the U.S. Everything you can get your hands on.
6 National Pawnbrokers Day. The launching pad of many an impromptu bender. As much booze as your guitar speaker will buy.
7 Tom Waits Birthday (1949). "I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy." Guinness Stout.
8 Sammy Davis Jr.'s Birthday (1925). "The day they stop making fun of you is the day they don't give a damn about you."
Sammy Davis Jr.
1 1/2 oz Stoli Vanilla
Chilled espresso
Shake with ice and serve with a twist of lemon.
9 Redd Foxx's Birthday(1922). "Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing." Ripple.
10 Nobel Prize Awards Day. Drink away your disappointment.
Mad Scientist
1 1/3 oz blueberry schnapps
1 1/3 oz raspberry schnapps
1/4 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1/4 oz grenadine
Mix the schnapps in a shot glass, slowly top with grenadine. Dribble a small amount of Bailey's on top.
11 Jerry Lee Lewis secretly married his 13-year-old third cousin Myra Gale Brown. When Jerry breaks the rules, he breaks all the rules.
Great Balls of Fire
2 oz Goldschlager
1/2 oz Hotdamn 100 Proof
1/2 oz Aftershock
Mix and shoot.
12 Frank Sinatra's Birthday (1915). "I'm for anything that gets you through the night—be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels." Jack rocks.
13 St. Lucy's Day. Patron saint of writers, people with eye trouble and lamplighters. Drink yourself blind and in the morning you shall be magically healed.
14 The "Shot Heard Around the World" is fired in an exchange between American Revolutionaries and British soldiers. Celebrate with the 1 shot drank around world. Jagermeister.
15 Walt Disney's head cryogenically frozen (1966). Here's to hoping he reanimates in time to kick Eisner's ass. Frozen Daiquiri.
16 Anniversary of the Boston Tea Party (1773). They tossed the tea and stole the rum. Long Island Iced Tea.
17 Wright Brothers take the 1st airplane flight at Kitty Hawk (1903). Soar like a drunken eagle. Grey Goose Vodka.
18 Feast of Our Lady of Solitude (Mexico). Buy the barlot at the end of the bar a drink. Blue Moon Belgium White.
19 Underdog Day. Challenge the fattest bastard in the bar to a drinking contest. Salty Dog.
20 National Sangria Day. Introduced to the U.S. at the 1964 World's Fair. Sangria.
21 Jack Daniels' Birthday (1850). Started distilling 13years later. Gentleman Jack.
22 Willpower Day. Test yours at the bar. Well tequila.
23 Van Gogh cut off his ear (1888). He ran out of absinthe, so he got into the turpentine and next thing you know . . . Van Gogh Vodka.
24 National Eggnog Day. Nog is an Old English word for ale, an original ingredient. Bottle of scotch, then eggs for breakfast.
25 Shane MacGowan's Birthday (1957). "Whenever I need a light inside me, I walk into a pub and drink 15 pints of beer." Fifteen pints of beer.
26 Henry Miller's Birthday (1891). "Ah yes, yes, once in a while indulge...spree and pee...a look at the girls and a brawl...not too bloody...ring around the rosie...you know...shake the bugs out of the rug." MGD.
27 National Fruitcake Day. Fruitcakes survive so long because of the high alcohol content. Fruit-flavored vodka.
28 Bairns' Day. Considered the unluckiest day of the year. Lucky Lager.
29 Rasputin assassinated (1916). He drank enough cyanide-spiked wine to kill six men, partied until the wee hours, then finally succumbed after being shot three times and drowned in a freezing river. Fortified wine.
30 Miracle Day. Order a Pousse Cafe in a sports bar. Pousse Cafe.
31 Guinness Brewery was founded (1759). There are 20 different variations of Guinness worldwide. Guinness by the gallon.