It's been months since I've actually edited this page, I know. I've four days of high school remaining in my senior year...and I'll be graduating on the 16th (methinks). So, this is it, the final days of this stage in my life.

I pray to God Yahweh that the end of this spring will destroy me, as I am now, and from the ashes let something new--a different person--arise. I've felt certain things that I'd rather not ever feel again in this life, but I fear that my college years and beyond will provide nothing but the same, bitter experience I claim to leave behind this month.

I know not what I want, but I know for sure that I do not want to be in this void any longer--this bleak valley, not of the shadow of Death, but of the brilliant reality of Life. It's the ultimate final blow, you see, to believe that you are indeed not in control of your own destiny--that happiness and wholeness is something not guaranteed in the least aspect.

Of the future, I can say this: Good needn't but give me a catalyst, a source of strength--a special girl, maybe--and I'll have a reason to get out of bed in the mornings. Does this seem selfish? Does it appear vain?

I am beyond high school, and beyond college and my career, in certain aspects, and I ask only one thing from Him: show me the finish-line, or simply speak of its existence, and I shall carry this Torch with unbending vigor and dedication.