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…Want Some Dick?


Several years ago, there was an HBO Comedy Standup special featuring Chris Rock. According to what I've read and heard – Mr. Rock and I are pretty similar as far as our onstage/offstage personalities are concerned.
We're both somewhat quiet and introverted offstage but loud & extroverted onstage.
Obviously, this is where the similarities end – I'm neither black nor good looking…moving on.

In this particular standup, Chris expounded on the fact that most every man, sometime after puberty, wants to have sex with just about every woman he finds attractive.
Sometimes we're very blatant in our desire but usually it comes in the form of trying to help said woman. Like so:

I can help you move that. (Want some dick?)

I like romantic comedies too. (Want some dick?)

Sure I can help out with your rent this month. (Want some dick?)

Missing you terribly. (Want some dick?)

Be well yo. (Want some dick?)


And the list goes on and on.

Women, I'm sure, are conscious of this on one level or another. And no doubt they use it to their advantage every now and again. And who could blame them because as Mr. Rock also says – most every woman, since she was a 12 or 13-year-old girl has been hit on in one way or another.
I say all of this because I'm aware of this aspect of my "Male-ness." But I'm also aware that this trait means I'm going to be a horny idiot for far too much of the time.
And as I was telling someone at a show just last night, I'm fortunate that I have the drums to take out most of my frustrations on. As for the rest, I just take it one day at a time.

So to all of my female friends, perhaps this will shed some light as to why I act the way I do sometimes. (Oh, want some dick?)

It’s March 11th & I’m about to travel to Europe for the first time.

But not just any part of Europe, Amsterdam. The city of tolerance, hope and a bevy of beautiful women riding around on bicycles...But I digress.
(unfortunately, I didn’t entangle myself in anything romantic while in Amsterdam but I didn’t go see the Red Light District either)

First things first - flying out of the Greenville/Spartanburg airport was one of the easiest boarding processes I’ve gone through since I flew with the Oklahoma State basketball team. Detroit wasn’t terrible but going through customs on the way back and the SNAFU we had with our departure to Amsterdam killed any hope I had in flying getting any easier.

The flight wasn’t too bad. After flying to and from Japan, just about anything seems easy. That and the fact that I had gotten up so early before our flight allowed me to actually sleep on the plane a bit. I highly recommend this because if you land in the morning like we did, it helps to be able to push on through the day and get on a semi-normal schedule.

We got from the airport via train to Centraal Station and then cabbed it to our lodging for the trip. The apartments we stayed were pretty pimp. The only detractor was the stairs up to them...Particularly to apartment 3 where I was. But the view out of our windows was awesome. The kitchen was quite big with a nice big table for feasting and a pimp little Smeg refrigerator.

A little note about the food in Amsterdam - you really can’t go wrong no matter how you go. Whether it’s buying groceries or eating out, it’s all quite fresh and quite good. (Although you might want to brush up a little bit on your dutch names of food)

And unless you buy some tram tickets or have enough money to cab it wherever you wish to go, get ready to do some walking. But don’t worry, Amsterdam is a beautiful city with lots of history, lots to do, lots to see & most anything you want or need is probably just a few blocks away.

One of the first places we went to after arriving at the apartment was to Barney’s - one of the many reputable coffee houses that also sells marijuana. Even I have to admit hat it was pretty cool to just walk in and get what you want. I also learned of "space cakes" which is what the coffee houses call ganja food. I only had one space cake while I was over there but it helped me sleep and that made me happy.

I also had a Belgian beer whilst over there that I enjoyed as well. But none of this means I’m giving up my fairly straight edge ways. I like being the way I am for the most part & don’t intend to change my ways too much.
Having said that, it was very refreshing to be in a country that didn’t frown upon marijuana use. If anything, the city of Amsterdam was more concerned with hard drugs which was nice to see.

The reasons I didn’t go to the Red Light District were many but the main one was that I didn’t feel like wasting money on sex. Sex should be fun and joyous (and dirty, why not) and it should be between people that want to have it and if money is involved, it’s because someone bought dinner or diamonds, not paid directly to someone for "services rendered."
And the new conservative government in Amsterdam was trying to clean up the city a bit much and the Red Light District was apparently one of the first places in the city to feel the conservative sting. Leave it to the government to take the fun out of everything.

I spent the few days we had before our performances walking around & taking in some of the city’s culture like the Rijksmuseum & the Van Gogh Museum. It’s one thing to see a photo or a slide of Rembrandt or Van Gogh but it’s a totally different to stand there a few inches away from one of their works and be able to actually see brushstrokes. Seeing Rembrandt’s "Night Watch" in person was very impressive not to mention the Vermeer, Manet, Monet, Gauguin & Toulouse Latrec paintings I saw amongst the two museums.

I bought a few CD’s whilst roaming around De Bijenkorf, a well known department store just off of Dam Square. There are tons of places to shop all around Amsterdam not to mention all of the restaurants, coffee shops, cheese shops ETC. The only problem with the city is that you probably won’t have enough time or money to really experience everything that you’ll want to.

After a few days of roaming the city, it was time to work. The three days of music was definitely a highlight of the trip for me, because after experiencing some of the glory that Amsterdam has to offer, it was only fitting to give a little of that jubilation back through music. Thus the three nights went well over all. The only snags we ran into were that one stage had to accommodate three bands with three different stage plots. It’s always a little bit of a nightmare when you have to do quick build-ups & tear downs of your gear. Fortunately, the drumset and a few other pieces of gear were backlined and didn’t have to be torn down too much, just moved here and there. By the third day, the bands and the crews had it down pretty well...just in time for our portion of the festival to be over.

I was able to catch a little bit of Darkstar, Umphrey’s and The Biscuits. The room they played in was awesome and what I saw of each band was pretty good. I won’t ever call myself a Grateful Dead fan so many of the nuances and inflections that DSO is able to pull off are lost on me. But after having met some of the members of DSO, I know they’re a top notch band with good people in their organization. The same is true for UM & DB as well. I hope we’re able to get to their level because they definitely have it all working pretty well for themselves.

We had one more day off after we were done playing. I spent it roaming around some more and buying some souvenirs for family & loved ones. I was amazed at the level of fiscal restraint I had whilst over there but with the dollar being so weak the entire time we were in Amsterdam, it seemed prudent.

Flying back wasn’t too bad, but it was (without a doubt) the longest Thursday I have ever experienced in my life...literally. I guess traveling with the sun will do that to you.

Now it’s March 23rd and I’m back in Athens for at least one more day before we start touring again. Life never quite stops.

Tot volgende tijd (That’s Dutch for "Until next time")

Hindsight being the great equalizer that it is, the picture of myself labeled as me "trying to be dead sexy and failing" may or may not come off as self deprecating as I wanted.

In reality, it comes off as "Hey, look at how ugly I am even though I'm trying Not to look ugly..."

In reality, it looks a tad creepy.

Oh well, this IS Myspace, land of the creeps, peeps and sneeps.

And now back to whatever kind of day you're having.

It's not a bad habit, just one that either gets me into or potentially out of trouble.

You're taught in any type of writing class to write and revise, write and revise...revise till you're not sure what you wrote.

In the digital age, it's not as bad as it used to be where back in the day (which for me was Tuesday, Not Wednesday) you had to go over every physical draft of something you wrote which, in my opinion, was maddening.

Now you can just write and revise as you go...The problem I have is that I write and revise almost everything.

Emails, Myspace blogs, status updates, greeting cards, text messages Etc.

Case in point was last night when I wrote out selected poems on four different Valentine's cards I'm sending out next week to four special women in my life.
(I should note that this does not make me studly, cool or a womanizer - just a hopeless romantic)

I was glad I reread each card because each poem was different & I didn't do the best of jobs in my transcription. And my penmanship sucks too but that's another story.

But texting is becoming the worst for me - saying things that are only funny if actually said, trying to write out every word when most others use shorthand, having no filter for what I should & shouldn't say to people I care about...the list goes on and on.

I'm boring you with this because it gives me another chance to write and maybe one day, I'll get better at writing.

Until then though - write and revise, write and revise and revise.

I'm a little tired
Tired of hurting myself

Setting too many things
On my strong shoulders

There is no greater prison
Than the one you assemble

The bars in your head
Indestructible except for common sense

Most people want to be great
But not just great, the best

The best man, the best woman
The Man, The Woman, The Dude

I don't want to be The Man,
I'll be the one you count on

A stress-free part of your life
But that is not what you want

Most of us don't know what we want
And I can understand that to a point

But if I'm stress free, there's no challenge
And challenge is certainly a two way street

It is a street I walk down everyday
Because of how and what I do
To make a living and survive
But right now I'm tired,
Tired of being lonely

This is a little long so make sure you've got some time and patience.

"It may get stupid, but it never gets awkward." - This was the summation I gave to some fellow Jam Cruisers the morning we were pulling back into the Florida port.

I said this because in all of the times I've tried to describe to people what Jam Cruise is like, I always end up saying something to the effect of "it usually winds up being the worlds biggest and best backstage party."

So here's a recap of JC6 from yours truly.

Thursday January 3rd - The band, crew, management & girlfriends all hop on the bus en route to the Florida ports. We stop for food and gas and I spent most of the time watching the second two Pirates of the Caribbean movies on my new 160GB iPod. This coincidentally made me slightly paranoid when we were out at sea 'cause I kept expecting to see the Flying Dutchman pop up out of the water every now and then...Of course I'd laugh it off and go back to wandering around the ship planning world domination. :)

Friday January 4th - We arrived at the port around 8:45AM and waited around and then waited some more. We eventually got all of the gear and our luggage to the right loaders and proceeded to the boarding terminal. It's still amazing to me how kind of lax everyone at the ports are with all of the gear and paraphernalia that makes its way onto the ship. But hey, it usually tends to make the trip that much better for everyone so I let sleeping dogs lie.
Didn't catch much music the second day because I was pretty damn tired still and wound up just lounging around and napping a bit. Saw a little bit of Soulive, caught up with Erin (Brock's sister) and we wandered around. Saw some of the DSO set and was impressed at how well they do what they do.
Later that night, my insomnia kicked back in so I wandered around the ship some more. (this ship, although different in name, was set up exactly the same as the one last year so I knew my way around fairly well) I had brought my practice pad with me for something physical to do that might help me sleep. This is when I wound up meeting Vegas John and DeanO, one of the drummers of DSO. Nice guy, wound up meeting a few of the DSO people and they were all pretty chill folks.

Saturday January 5th - Eventually fell asleep sometime in the morning and awoke in the afternoon. Got to watch Brock's first poolside set. Stellar ocean views not to mention good peeps, beautiful women and gorgeous weather transpired for good times to be had by all...After Brock's set though, the seas started to get a tad rough.
I learned later that that the roughness of the water had even made the crew a little seasick so I didn't feel too bad having to take some Dramamine which I haven't had to take in over 10 years. I was a little concerned that none of us were going to be in good enough shape to play the show but my fears were unfounded. We slayed the pool deck in my opinion. We all had a few faux pas because trying to play when the stage you're on moves around adds a whole 'nother level of difficulty to the show playing experience. But we persevered and played well in the process.
And 4AM rolled around and we closed up shop for the night. After putting all of my drums away, I awaited breakfast in Le Bistrot which was consistently one of the best meals on the ship IMO.

Sunday January 6th - Managed to get up at a decent hour because I've never been to Latin America before and had always associated the country Honduras with masked rebels trying overthrow the government of the week. Initially, everyone had to take the little tinder boats from the ship to the dock because another ship was docked at the one port there in Roatan but I got through the line and onto the dock, found a taxi driver who would take to where you could buy some touristy goods and found myself on the "West End" wandering around.
My main goal in this little shopping excursion was to find a nice watch. The one I had brought with me was unreliable and I don't have a global phone so being able to tell time became of great importance. So I walked around the West End and the only places to get a decent watch, the Duty Free shops, were all closed because it was Sunday. I did get a few knick knacks but nothing outrageously cool. My taxi driver - Wilmer came back to pick me up and took me on the scenic route back to the ship. He showed me bananas growing right off of trees next to the road. I saw some really nice houses and some houses that looked very third world. He showed me some nice condos right on the water owned by Sylvester Stallone & Julio Iglesias and during our little trek I asked Wilmer if he knew anywhere I could get a watch, which brings me to the title of this here blog.
Eventually we wound up in front of a gas station that looked very much like a BP station and our taxi pulled up to a couple of young dudes sitting out front of said gas station chowing down on food. Wilmer starts to speak in spanish asking if one of the dudes would sell the nice Swiss Army watch he had on his wrist. Wilmer and the dude haggled for a little bit and I wound up buying the watch for 45 bucks. It was nice little watch too. Had the analog hands and a digital display. I have no idea if it was a real Swiss Army watch but hey, it looked nice.
Didn't really see much music because my sleep schedule was sufficiently FUBAR'd at this point so I went to bed early. (although I did hear a bit of Lotus covering "Around the World" by Daft Punk and was pretty bummed I missed it)

Monday January 7th - Not sure what time I got up but it was sufficiently early enough to hang out with Erin and her friend Sarah and do some shopping right off the dock there in Cozumel Mexico. Our boat was parked right next to a Carnival cruise ship and I felt sorry for most of their passengers...But I digress.
Found some cool little knick knacks at some of the street vendors including a cool Aztec calendar made out of a stone like material.
During this little shopping experience, one of the vendors took a liking to my Swiss Army watch and offered to trade me some stuff for it so I traded my watch that I had owned for less than a day for a nice Baja jacket and a good sized conch shell thus the watch I almost owned.
I eventually bought another watch in the Duty Free shops right next to the deck. (it was a real Nike watch with analog hands and a digital display)
The rest of the day in Cozumel was spent walking around buying some stuff including some latin pop/rap music and a genuine Starbucks cup of coffee.
Back on the boat, I spent some time in the coffee bar warming up on the practice pad where I got to talk with Stanton Moore a bit, nice guy not to mention a hell of a drummer. Spent the rest of the time getting ready for our theater show that night.
Found out we were going to have some dancers during the show which sounded like a cool idea and boy was it. Those two contortionist dancers were very impressive, their muscle control was nothing short of amazing. At one point during their routine, the boat shifted a little and I visibly saw them correct to keep themselves steady. I've never seen anything like it.
As for the rest of our theater set, I personally thought we could've played better but it was really hard to tell how things went because the boat was moving so much that my equilibrium was sufficiently screwed up enough that it was hard to tell if things were too fast or not. The sit in by Ivan was definitely the other highlight of the set though. When I ran into Ivan later on, he was sure to give the band some nice compliments.
After our set was done, I meandered down to the jam room and the fun began. Stanton had been playing for a little bit as well as Garrett the bassist from Motet and a few other folks. (Garrett is a freaking badass by the way)
Eventually I got to sit down and the first tune up was Sex Machine which I knew from my Army days so we went right into it. It was fun and about halfway into jamming Ivan Neville asked if he could play the drums (what am I going to say, no?) so Ivan showed that he could funk it up on the drums as well as the keyboards.
After Sex Machine, Grant Green Jr. who was kind of leading everything on the guitar at that point broke into Love Rollercoaster and I did my best to combine the orginal Ohio Players version with the Red Hot Chili Peppers version. Eventually after jamming that one for a bit we broke into Superstition and all the while Garrett and I did our best to hold down the pocket. During all of this, the guitarist from Toots & the Maytals joined in not to Mention Karl D and Robert Walters.
We eventually ended on Superstition and I figured it wasn't going to get much better than that so I bailed but on my way out, John Fishman was coming to sit in and he says to me something to the effect of "Great drumming man, I love your pocket."
Not a bad way to end the day.

Tuesday January 8th - After hitting breakfast again and going to bed around 6AM, I slept through Brock's set which was a bummer because I wanted to see Erin sit in. She really does have a beautiful voice, it seems to run in the family I guess.
I got up in the afternoon with a little time to roam around before the Artist Photo Shoot on the back of the boat. During the photo shoot I asked Fishman if I could come sit in on the Everyone Orchestra set and he says "Oh sure man, you and Garrett are like my two new favorite musicians on the boat."
So I went and hung out sidestage during the beginning of Everyone Orchestra and after the first tune, Fishman signals to me to come up and play. I get up there a little nervous but determined to rock so Matt Butler, the conductor of EO, says "start us off" so I did. I pretty much wound up staying up on the stage for the rest of the set. During the set Fishman picked up a saxaphone (which he's never played before) and did pretty well. Matt Butler took over for a little bit while the guest conductors took over but once they were done, I was back up. Being in the drummers chair for EO is pretty cool. An interesting experience in listening and watching.
Got to Franti just in time to watch Brock sit in and jump around. Pretty entertaining to watch I must say. I then went to watch Lotus for a little bit and they sure have come a long way since I last saw them. They definitely deserved to be on the boat.
The jam room was supposed to close early on the last night so I wanted to go possibly sit in one last time. Got to play with George Porter for a tune or two then hung out for a while the drummers from New Monsoon and The Bridge both strutted their stuff. I must say that there wasn't any room to slouch musically on this boat, the bar is pretty high all round. Eventually, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals showed up just in time to keep the jam room going and she sassed the proceedings up nicely. Eventually, it was Brock, Adam and myself plus a few others jamming it up and closing out the jam room with a rockin' Orange Wedge.
No better way to close that sucker down but on Our terms.

And now we are all amongst the real world again, perhaps a little sad to have to say goodbye to the good times of Jam Cruise but certainly no regrets.

We may have let ourselves get a little stupid along the way but we never let it get awkward...We just came to play and rock this mother down.

This was a letter I posted on the Perpetual Groove message board and I figured I should post it here as well. Thanks for reading


Hello everyone, I hope you all are in the midst of having a fruitful Holiday Season.

For those of you about to make the trek to Charlotte for NYE or Florida for Jam Cruise (or both), I look forward to seeing you.
If you are unable to make or otherwise occupied, I understand but the P-Groove Family will miss you.

And the subject of family is why I'm writing this letter to you all, so you'll know what's been happening with me.

On November 20th, just before Thanksgathering, my father went in to have what was supposed to be a simple procedure called an EGD.
The procedure was to help him with his Hiatal Hernia.

During the procedure, the doctor in charge unknowingly poked a hole in my dads esophagus. My dad complained of breathing problems but he was told that this was normal and he was released from care.
The problems with his breathing never stopped however and within 20 minutes of my dad being home (and a phone call back to the hospital) mom and I were on our way back up to the emergency room.
While we were in the emergency room, I saw my dad go through what must have been some of the worst pain he's ever experienced. He was administered something on the order of 24 milligrams of morphine before they took a cat scan of his chest and the pain never really seemed to subside. After the scan, when it was realized that it was the esophagus that had been punctured, a call was put in to a surgeon and dad was prepped for surgery.

Luckily, the surgery went alright but the hole in his esophagus meant a high risk of infection to the lungs. During the course of this, I also learned that the esophagus is one of the slowest healing organs of the body.

My dad spent the next thirty days in the ICU at Integris South Hospital in Oklahoma City. I spent Thanksgiving watching my dad struggle because at that point, just a few days after his surgery, he had four different tubes in him and he kept trying to pull them out or yank on them so the nurses had to put two different sets of kid gloves on his hands and then finally tie his hands to the sides of the bed..

Then I had to leave to come back and live my rock & roll lifestyle…

During the three weeks or so that I was back amongst the fold of Perpetual Groove, dad made slow and steady progress. We had a little scare the morning after the Nashville show but thankfully the problem was quickly corrected.

Since I've been back, dad has started talking again. He's been moved from Integris to an intermediate care facility because none of his problems are as serious as they were.
I spent the night of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning with him because he wanted someone to hang with him during the night. It seems that some of the drugs the nurses administer my dad to help him sleep also tend to wig him out when they wear off. It's been a little scary to see but it's also been kind of funny as well.

I stayed overnight with him again this past night and he's in much better spirits and more talkative. I think he has a good chance of making a full recovery but we're taking it one day at a time.

This whole ordeal, as you can imagine, has been just as tough on my mom as it has been on anyone else. Fortunately, she quit her job over the summer so she's been by my dads side everyday since this mess started. I just hope that it doesn't last too much longer. (It's a good thing my dad is much better at saving money than me & my mom are)

I can't say that this situation has ruined the Holiday Season for me, but it certainly hasn't helped. As I've grown older, I've become very fond of the giving aspect of Christmas but most of the other characteristics about it I could do without. At Thanksgathering - I was often asked how my Thanksgiving was, an otherwise normal question, but given the situation I was now going through I was basically given the choice to tell the truth and put a damper on the meeting or lie and try to keep everything seeming positive. Some people I told the truth to, others I didn't. I guess I was still trying to wrap my head around it all.

So if you've read this far, I appreciate it. And I would like to make one little request.
If you happen to see me at New Years or on Jam Cruise or whenever - you can ask me just about any question you want. You can ask me how my dad is doing, you can ask me how my mom's doing, you can ask me how I'm doing, you can ask me what's on the setlist (I might tell you, you never know) you can even ask me out…

Just please don't ask me how my Christmas was.

Again, I hope that everyone is doing well and I look forward to playing some music and rocking out. See you all when I see you.

W. Albert Suttle

Just so you know: My father went in to the hospital today (11-20) to get a check-up operation on his hiatal hernia. It was supposed to be a relatively innocuous and routine operation. The problem was that during this operation, my dad's esophagus was accidentally perforated causing him a lot of pain and making it really difficult for him to breathe. Thus, after several hours in the local ER, and a few more hours of surgery - he is in stable condition thanks to the aid of several tubes and a machine to help him breathe...at least for the first few hours. The kicker is that the esophagus heals very slowly and my dad may have to be in the hospital for the next three to four weeks. He could conceivably be in the hospital until the next time I come home which would be for my Christmas break. So much for a quiet week at home with the family to help celebrate Thanksgiving.

You might want to put on some pads for this one 'cause I'll be no doubt throwing some heavy things at you...

I recently told a friend that I was pretty depressed and that a lot of my depression was work related. I asked my friend to keep this between us which they did very well. But me, I've decided to get it out there in the open because ultimately, I think I will feel better.

But I'm not going in to specifics of any kind...on work anyways. I've since realized that my depression is due to many other things with work occasionally being the 800 pound gorilla in the room no one wants to make eye contact with.

Do keep in mind that technically - I have one of the best jobs on the planet and that it's me who really has the problems, not the job.

The majority of my depression, stress and whatever other negative emotions I have stem from good old fashioned loneliness.

My love life (and sex life for that matter) has, this year, gone from 0 to 100 back to 0 and I think I've become the very model of bewilderment.
I've realized that I'm definitely not going to get what I want right now because I have no earthly clue as to what the hell I want. I've got a few good leads and am pursuing them but in this pursuit, I am neglecting others that I have feelings for as well.
This is where my job starts to kinda get in the way.

It's much more difficult than I ever realized to try and have any sort of relationship when your on the road as much as I am. It's not impossible by any means, but for someone like me who really has very little relationship experience - the learning curve on making anything work when you're gone 60% to 70% of the time is a bit steep.

I've also put my foot in my mouth more times than I care to admit about my feelings on monogamy and all that. I guess the real trick is that if you find that someone you want to be with and they feel the same then monogamy should be quite easy...but this takes time in most cases from what I've seen and it's this time that I tend to miss out on, misread or misconstrue.

Eventually, I intend to seek professional help (psychiatry rather than prostitution) because there are certain human and environmental aspects of my life that I realize are way over my head. Especially as far as how I perceive and rationalize my actions.

What's given me the courage to write all this and shove it out in the open was a poem I read earlier this morning while doing laundry.

It's called: "The More Loving One" http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=7474255

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well
That, for all they care, I can go to hell,
But on earth indifference is the least
We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn
With a passion for us we could not return?
If equal affection cannot be,
Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am
Of stars that do not give a damn,
I cannot, now I see them, say
I missed one terribly all day.

Were all the stars to disappear or die,
I should learn to look at an empty sky
And feel its total dark sublime,
Though this might take me a little time.

For the sake of clarification, the stars in this poem are not a euphemism for the women I'm pursuing. The poem, in my opinion, is kind of a karmic guideline that if you're willing to love without any hope for love in return then you are bound receive love in one form or another. But the poem also speaks of indifference to this love and that's something I think we're all familiar with as well. It's this indifference that sometimes causes us to try and wait someone out to see if they'll have a change of heart.
I guess my problem is don't want to wait any longer than i have to because I feel like I've waited enough.

But wait I must because trying to rush anything will only exacerbate any problems I might be having.

Now I just have to see how my patience, my options and my sanity hold out.