"If there was a God, I would spit in his face for subjecting me to this! If there was a Devil I would sell him my soul to make it end. If there was something Higher that controlled our individual fates, I would tell it to take my fate and shove it up it's fucking ass! Shove it  hard and far, you motherfucker. Please end! Please end! Please end!"

Just my (James Freys) way of saying that if i have to get up at 06:30 and drag my ass to that dead-end shit job ONE more day, I'll strangle a kitten and MAIL it back to the 8 year old girl i originally stole it from!

If I see another bucket of paint, brushes, mud, ladders or construction sites, I'll go completely utterly mad!

Unfortunately I have ONE more day of work. Just one. What should get me trough it is thinking about the fact that when it's all over, I'm going on a 4,5 day bender. Stretching over 9 time sones, from my home town, via Oslo to Denver CO.

But what struck me the other day, when I was rejoycing over the fact that I had less than a week left of work, was that I'll never be done working... Not untill I'm like 65 anyway. So when my 4,5 day bender is over, and Sunday has come and gone, I'll be out looking for work again :|  

Working these crap jobs really gives you the right motivation to get yourself an

 EDUMACATION

HAHA!!! I found this on my computer the other day. It seems I have written some kinda manifest while I was drunk. Drunk and alone. It's realy funny. I have descided not to correct misspelled words or alter the contents in any was. Just to keep it as raw and honest, only a drunk person can be:) Enjoy!


GRIM REALIZATIONS


I was sitting alone at night and thinking. Thinking and drinking. I was coming to that point in life when you realize that sitting around and dreaming gives no meaning anymore. EVERY SINGLE DAY COUNTED NOW. Every time I said. «Yeah. That sounds like a good idèa». What I really said was. «I'm going to sit around the apartment and drink instead of actually doing something about it.» I had become too old to dream. It was time to act.
So I started writing. It was 4am in the morning god damnit. What else could I do? This was the start of my life. From now on and out, it was all going to be gravy. The only problem was my sleep patern...

The hours between midnight and 5am were the only hours I was truly awake. From I woke up around 3 O'clock pm. and until then, I was sedated. Sedated because it was the wrong time of day for a nocturnal animal like me. And sedated from the life I was living.
A combination of take-away food and crapy sit-coms. You know it has gone to far when the jokes on Americas Funniest Videos become amusing, and the social pornography that the networks air these days seem remotely interesting. I thought to myself: «What would Bill Hicks have made out of this situation?» Would he have deemed me insane for accapting the grim realities of our society as an inevitability, or would he have agreed that the only sane thing to do at this point was to sleep through life to avoid meeting another day of this shit. Not that it matered. I had descided to rebel. Rebel against myself and my groing feeling of apathy and anti-intelectualism.
SHIT! Why are my schnaps tasting like fresh apples?

I had recently been to my home town, and was now considering another visit. I was dreading it. What you need to understand is that my home town is not just a town. It is a pocket of humanity. An alternative universe for a thinking, feeling beeing like myself. These people are the same people who made Big Brother a hit series, who voted fear and loathing in to politics beofore love and who removed the true message of Jesus in the Bible and replaced it with «Christianity acording to Paul.» And we all remember Paul. That drug crazed phsycopath who made a living out of prosecuting christians, and then followed the flow and went on to prosecute Jews. A true hater, that has come to define the worlds largets religion allong with world politics. And this started with a bunch of letters sent to some small islands around the Medeteranien some 1900 years ago.
Now I'm just babbeling. I need medecine. Where are those damn apple-schnaps?

Quality store-bought liquer was out of reach. The only alternative was my Trøndelags moonshine. A true affirmation of my Norwegian drinking culture. A drink so raunchy and foul only a Norwegian, whos only goal is cheaper liquer than the goverment can provide, that can still get you shit faced in no time. Our home-made wine had become inadequite. I needed something stronger. Something that could ceep me up and thinking straight all night.

The scar on my thumb was hurting. I know the bouncer at that place was a power crazed Nazi, that craved blood like a feverd shark, but still. Thrashing his bar and taking of with five bottles of his liquer might have been over the top. I think I'm loosing my line here. I need some coffee and moonshine!

My room-mate would be up in two hours. And I just sound found a bottle of Schweppes and some more moonshine. He would NOT be happy. But he was WRONG! I WAS actually planning on going to school this day. I just wasn't planning on sleeping first. My plan was to go up to my professor, slam this essay I'm writing now on her table and saying «Peace out.» And then never return. With a bit of luck. Her life would be ruined forever.
God damnit I mixed that shit to strong. Have you ever seen Schweppes catch fire??!?

As seen in every hotel bible i've ever seen.
"This bible was placed here by a Gideon."

What the FUCK is a Gideon? And why is it placing bibles in my hotel room?
I didn't request that!
Gideons are some sneaky little fuckers. I mean seriously, have you ever seen one?
I'm gonna capture me a Gideon some day. Keep him in a cage or something. I just need to find a way to lure him out.

I woke up this "morning" at 5:40 pm, screaming, cuz I thought I was to late to go get beer. When I got upstairs I found my liver, sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee. He looked at me and went: "Dude! Duuuude!!! pffffff.... You fucking retard."
 I need a job!
I was planing on going out last Wednesday... Ended up sitting infront of the computer untill 7:30am next morning, drinking 13(!) beers.
I need to get off MySpace!
I cleaned the kitchen the other day. I had to sit down afterwards. My task for the next day was to go to the post office. I didn't succeed. The 300yards down to there we're to much off an obstacle.
I need to start working out more!
I discovered the shoe-horn the other day. What a  marvelous invention that was. The thought of needing a device to help me put on my shoes, seemed absurd to me. Wrong! I was putting  on some rather small  shoes, and after destroying the back of the shoes and to of my fingers, I discovered the shoe-horn in the corner. Using it was better than sex! It was the highlight of my day.
I  need a girlfriend!
Get back to ya later in the summer. When the sun returns...