So, the Elbow Room hosts celebrities now.

I was there with Eve, Juliette Lewis, and Ellen Page. It was really weird.


But Ellen Page is such a sweetheart. She bought me a beer. In my mind it's cause she liked my karaoke and I was not celeb-stalker to her.

Or I was just lucky.


Either way, it was a great night.

Today I was reminded of what a good time was. Fun at work, fun cooking out on the grill, beers with friends, all the nice stuff.

I have to stop sweating the small stuff.


Above all, I think good times are my favorite.




Tomorrow: work, maybe sister's softball game (if I'm lucky). Maybe Totally Awesome fest after the PISTONS GAME 3.


I love Spring, really I do.



This is me getting back to the basics of being me, it was a rough winter, please bear with me.



Let's make this summer everything it should be.

I have realized something about myself.


All I can be is me. All I can be is real. No matter how much I want to change that, it will always be true. I'm the same me who won the spelling bee in fifth grade, wrote ripoff Nirvana songs in high school, ruined his singing voice screaming for six years and loves the Pistons.

The same dude who remembers every Tigers game I've been to. The same dude who unabashedly loves metal and murder ballads as much as I love classic rock and Foo Fighters. I'm the dude who loves to rap, sing lo-fi pop rock and wishes he was in a sludge metal band. I am that dude who is always there for his friends, even if it is not in my best interest, that dude who learned how to treat women the right way, that dude who learned loss and learned to love life no matter what comes at him. I am that dude who could help someone transition to a life with HIV, and that dude who could cry when his loved ones are lost. I am that dude who knows when someone is being an ass, and knows when someone is short-changing themselves.


In the words of a good friend, I am real. And I am happy to be that dude.



In reality, I know that this means I will suffer from the weaknesses that accompany being a good dude. I also know I have the personality of a hydrogen bomb, and the strength of character that only comes from selflessness. I wish I was more humble than this.


I'm not going to be a dick unless I have to be. I'm also going to appreciate being nice for a change.




It's okay, I'm back to being the real me again.

There is nothing more humbling and awe-inspiring than watching someone die. It’s like nothing I’d ever imagined. All of the sentimental cliches or supernatural theories aside, to see a human wind down after his last great sigh is not unlike watching the tide roll away after a twenty-foot wave breaks. Whatever may come after the human machine breaks down and can no longer sustain it’s amazing mechanics, to see the end of life so simple and still so staggering is simply breathtaking. To think of the cycle of life, to imagine from conception to birth to life to death, the mechanism created, the human body course run to full, the vessel devoid. The ultimate peace is to know for every life that ends, another begins.

In loving memory....

Amazing show, two hours of fun and great music. The reason why they are my favorite band ever.

Let it Die
The Pretender
Times Like These
Breakout
Learn to Fly
Cheer up Boys (Your Make-Up is Running)
This is a Call
Stacked Actors
-drum solo-
*acoustic set*
Skin and Bones
Marigold
My Hero
Cold Day in the Sun
But, Honestly
*rock resumes*
Everlong
Monkey Wrench
All My Life
--break--
*encore*
Big Me
Long Road to Ruin
Best of You



Amazing show, great stage setup, great song selection. So much fun.

I really don't want to sink into a routine of monotonous work and hanging out. There is no variety. No excitement. I love my friends, I love hanging out with them, but the same thing every day is not enough. The winter hurts because it prohibits me from exploration and adventure, but it should not be an excuse to fall into a routine. Plans are one thing, but I hate routines.


Where has the excitement, the spontaneity gone?


I have tried to make new, different plans recently, but people flake out and leave me to routines. I need a working vehicle I guess. At least then I would have more control over things.


Someone take me to do something fun, please.


I swear to God, when Cedar Point opens, someone is going roller-coasting with me.



Let's have some fucking fun already.

We (James, Paul, Peter, and I) saw the movie Wednesday night, and it was brilliant. Daniel Day-Lewis is beyond a doubt in my mind one of the greatest film actors in cinema, and his performance made me nearly forget about his amazing turn in Gangs of New York. As fat as P. T. Anderson goes, he is to Terence Malick's films what Tarantino is to action/exploitation. This movie had me from beginning to end, which was just short of three hours. As the first of the Best Picture Nominees I've seen, it sets the bar very high, leaving the other films with a high standard to impress me.


Moving on from that, the next few days will be busy. Picking up a shift at Tower Inn tomorrow, working 9-4 at the cafe Saturday. After work on Saturday, my sister's birthday party, where I will attempt to play basketball with her boyfriend Dustin against kids 10 years younger than me. Sunday is gonna be fun, Super Bowl, lots of wings, general joviality.


I think I'll just throw out that Valentine's Day is coming up, and FYI ladies, this bird is currently uncaged. Wait, let me rephrase that.

Ladies- if you're looking for a gentleman to be your Valentine, I may have what you're looking for....

Me: 5'5" (ish), FULL BEARD, SWM, Capricorn, basketball and general sports fan, musician and music businessman, loves movies, has a discount at a nice restaurant, quite funny, good-natured, progressive, thinks animals are fun, enjoys bowling, obsessed with new socks.

You: Cute, I haven't made out with you (yet, or we don't remember that), not crazy, likes flowers.



If this isn't you, pass the info along to a friend. Word.


Finally, I'd like to announce my OFFICIAL endorsement for President of the United States of America in 2008: Barack Obama. Finishing a close second is (for the 9th consecutive year) Michael J. Fox, circa Back to the Future 2. In third, Bill Murray's character from Ghostbusters, Peter Venkman.


Have a pleasant tomorrow,

Matthew "Birdman" Fleming

I love stand up comedy. I've been listening to it for days now. Just hanging out by myself and listening to comedy on the internet.

My body has been rebelling against myself for a week now. It seems to be getting better. I hope.


I love Xmas. That is to say I love the tree and the gifts and the family time. For the first time in a few years I bought gifts for all of my family. Total awesome.


I have a birthday in a week and two days. I'm scared. I'm getting old, and feeling alone kinda...
It's cool. I get over such.


I wanna be a stand-up comic.



I fear it's time for a plan A.




Celibacy sucks.

I have burned a callous on my right hand from all of the saganakis I have lit at Tower Inn. Pretty sure the hair isn't growing anymore.

I wish I had a reason to beat myself into the ground.


In 20 days I will be too old for anything.


Sometimes the best things happen with no notice, like a last minute invite to ride the Magnum-XL-200 in the "ejector seat." Then Cedar Point closes before you get to ride the Blue Streak.


Why am I bored out of my mind right now?


Every time I die I find myself waking up in a comatose state again.




***
I need acceleration, to feel the speed below my feet
I cannot move at this pace
when I can see brick wall ahead of me
where is the engineer when there are cars laying on the tracks?
I'm only in it for the emotion, who cares about the facts.........
if this is your warfare then I've got a cure for your plague
just take two doses, you'll be feeling fine in days

(this is heartless, this is a killer)

you wanna share something with me? here is a glimpse into my mind
we have no heart anymore, it was devoured by one of it's kind
we have no touch we cannot feel because we know that loneliness is not real
when our lungs expand it is the only thing we feel

(this is heartless, this is a killer)


I swore, I swore
I would never lose sleep to the floor

All I want is peace tonight.

They rule.


By the way, my birthday is three weeks away!


Sorry, I'm bored. I'll go to bed now.