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The Decline - NoFX







Where are all the stupid people from?
And how'd they get to be so dumb?
Bred on purple mountain range
Feed amber waves of grains
To lesser human beings, zero feelings

Blame it on
Human nature, mans destiny (mans destiny)
Blame it on the greediocracy (greediocracy)
Fear of God
The fear of change
The fear of truth

Add the Bill of Rights, subtract the wrongs
There's no answers
Memorize and sing star spangled songs
When the questions
Aren't ever asked
Is anybody learning from the past?
We're living in united stagnation

Father what have I done?
I took that .22
A gift to me from you
To bed with me each night
Kept it clean
Polished it well
Cherished every cartridge, every shell

Down, by the creek, under brush, under dirt
There's a carcass of my second kill
Down, by the park, under stone, under pine
There's a carcass of my brother William
Brother where, have you gone to?
I swear, I never thought I could
I see so many times
They told me to shoot straight
Don't pull the trigger, squeeze
That will insure a kill
A kill is what you want
A kill is why we breed

The Christians love their guns
The church and NRA
Pray for their salvations
Prey on the lower faiths

The story book's been read
And every line believed
Curriculum's been set
Logic is a threat
Reason searched and seized

Jerry spent some time in Michigan
A twenty year vacation, after all he had a dime
A dime is worth a lot more in Detroit
A dime in California, a twenty dollar fine

Jerry only stayed a couple months
It's hard to enjoy yourself while bleeding out the ass
Asphyxiation is simple and fast
It beats seventeen fun years of being someone's bitch

Don't think (Stay)
Drink your wine (Home)
Watch the fire burn (Be)
His problems not mine (Safe)
Just be that model citizen

I wish I had a schilling
(For each senseless killing)
For every senseless killing
I'd buy a government
America's for sale
And you can get a good deal on it
(A good deal on it)
And make a healthy profit
Or maybe, tear it apart
Start with assumption
That a million people are smart
Smarter than one

Serotonin's gone
She gave up, drifted away
Sara fled, thought process gone
She left her answering machine on
The greeting left spoken sincere
Messages no one will ever hear

Ten thousand messages a day
A million more transmissions lay
Victims of the laissez faire
Ten thousand voices, a hundred guns
A hundred decibels turns to one
One bullet, one empty head
Now with Serotonin gone

The man who used to speak
Performs a cute routine
Feel a little patronized
Don't feel bad
They found a way inside your head
And you feel a bit misled
It's not that they don't care, yeah

The television's put a thought inside your head
Like a Barry Manilow, jingle
I'd like, to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony
A symphonic blank stare, yeah
It doesn't make you care (make you care)
Not designed to make you care (make you care)
They're betting you won't care (you won't...)

Place a wager on your greed
A wager on your pride
Why try to beat them when, a million others tried?

We are the whore
Intellectually spayed
We are the queer
Dysfunctionally raised

One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain
One more pill to kill the pain
Living through conformity

One more prayer to keep me safe
One more prayer to keep us warm
One more prayer to keep us safe
There's gonna be a better place

Lost the battle, lost the war
Lost the things worth living for
Lost the will to win the fight
One more pill to kill the pain

Na na na na na
La na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na

The going get tough, the tough get debt
Don't pay attention, pay the rent
Next of kins pay for your sins
A little faith should keep us safe

Save us
The human, existence
Is failing, resistance
Essential, the future
Written off, the odds are
Astronomically against us
Only moron and genius
Would fight a losing battle
Against the super ego
When giving in is so damn comforting

And so we go, on with our lives
We know the truth, but prefer lies
Lies are simple, simple is bliss
Why go against tradition when we can
Admit defeat, live in decline
Be the victim of our own design
The status quo, built on suspect
Why would anyone stick out their neck?

Fellow members of
Club "We've Got Ours"
I'd like to introduce you to our host
He's got his, and I've got mine
Meet the decline

We are the queer
We are the whore
Ammunition
In the class war
We are worker
We love our queen
We sacrifice
We're soilent green

We are the queer
We are the whore
Ammunition
In the class war

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Why is it that the people I want don't want me... but the people I just want to be friends with want to date me? This repetition is just about to kill me. I just want to give my love to someone that wants to love me back. I refuse to settle for just anyone b/c I know my happiness comes first, but I'm tired of being alone and sad all the time. Ah fuck, I'm just pissed at life. I know I'm a good damn girlfriend if people could look past me having a son or give me a real chance, I'm amazing. 

So I just made a Twitter account... I previously thought that it was a very silly thing, but then I read the article about it in Time magazine. I think I'll be more intrigued by 'following' news and groups, but I guess knowing more about your friends everyday lives isn't a bad thing.

I'm tried, tired of being afraid. I'm tired of feeling like I can't speak out because I'll come off as weird. I'm not myself with people I really like unless they already know me and accept me. I may be a random, silly, goofy girl... but I love myself, and I love dorks that can be the same with me. Instead of getting shy when people start to get close to me, I need to be more open. This is something that I'm working on, and sometimes I have to catch myself, sometimes after its too late. This problem of not opening up, not being myself has cost me alot of relationships, both romantic and friend wise. I need to write about things to remind me what I need to remember to keep me going in the right direction.

I changed my last few blogs to 'preferred friends' because I'm tired of people having a issue with what I have to say.. but fuck that. I shouldn't care if you don't like it, I should beable to say whatever, whenever I want in MY blog. Yep. For those of you that don't like blogging... then why the hell are you reading this? Because you care... and you may chose to keep things bottled up, but I don't want to anymore. There are somethings we all keep secret from everyone, but those are usually the things that most define us. Either be open or don't be, but don't talk trash because I am trying.

I care about life, about people, about everything. I genuinely care and want the best.. when I do something I try to think about how it would affect others, and if there is a better choice. I admittedly don't always make the right decisions, as they say... its all in retrospect. 

I've been rejected alot in life... by the people in my neighborhoods, my family, friends and people that I liked... but I do know that I'm a good, understanding person. I try so hard to be what I want myself to be, I make sure that no matter what I don't do what others want me to be.. but I follow my own heart and what I consider appropriate. I'm spontaneous but I also like to plan things. I procrastinate like crazy... but I will fight for what I believe in no matter what the odds are. I'm stubborn as fuck but I will admit when I'm in the wrong. I'm so messed up its sad, but then I can take care of myself and not have to rely on others usually.

One of the worst traits I have is not believing in people... or asking for help. Because I've always felt rejected, an outcast, I didn't think that I really matter to anyone or anything, I felt like a waste of space and a burden. Now that I'm older I see that I'm not... that everyone matters and the people in my life that made me feel like that were jerks that couldn't see past their own issues or think for themselves.

I'm so tired of believing in people and getting let down, thinking that people will really be there for me and being left behind, pushed to the side, or just forgotten. I just want to know that I'm worth something, that am I like-able enough for people to enjoy and want to hang around me. Isn't that all that everyone really wants? To be accepted and loved for who they are and not what someone thinks they should be.

I try so hard to accept people for what and who they are, I try to see the good in people... but if noone is going to do the same for me then why the hell should I try anymore? 

I don't want people pretending to likeme to get their rocks off... I can see through the standard lines and situations for the bullshit it really is. I've been told before that I should be a judge, b/c I can understand and empathize with people but see throught the BS. I only ever what to do what right and know that others would have done the same in my spot.

But the cold truth is that not all people are like that, they will do whatever and whoever to make themselves feel better. I too am guilty of doing it, and I always feel horrible afterwards. I get so bitter with life and dealing with all the careless people...

I've built this wall around my heart and mind to keep me from hurting... but really I'm gonna hurt no matter what. If I keep myself closed off I'll feel lonely and depressed... if I open up I risk getting hurt.

I just want to be a good mom and pass on my good traits to my son, I want him to also care about life and people, and see the good from the bad. When I realize I'm being bitter I try to step out of my own view and try to think what advice I would give someone in my shoes, then everything will make sense.

I cherish the few good friends I have and hope that I will make new ones that are just as amazing in the future.

I'm so tired of the average human... I love to go out, drink, chill with people, do some booty shakin' and have fun, but I HATE having to worry about some drunken boner trying to hit me up for my number, trying to shove his tongue down my throat. It's just crazy and not my style. I feel if I want to go out I have to deal with these retards... and its just not fun. I'll start my nite enjoying myself and then you gotta walk up and get all in my grill about shit. I know I have boobs and you want to grab them, but alittle sublty people. Try to talk to me like a real person and I'll be so much more attracted to you.

This isn't to say I don't enjoy meeting people and flirting... seeing where things lead me, but damn... slow down guys! I love sex, don't get me wrong, but some drunk jerk trying to get in my pants isn't gonna turn me on and they would strike me as the dirty type thats gonna hump whatever they can anyways. ugh.

I dunno, I guess I'm just not a clubber. I would love to meet a nice cute guy or girl, but they all seem to be douche bags and I don't want to waste my time. It's making me really bitter and tired of even giving people chances. Am I getting old already? I don't think so, I still want to go out have a killer time at a show or with some friends drinking... it just seems like I'm the only one that isn't worried about getting laid. I need sexual attention.. and alot of it... but not from some stranger thats all.

Am I just not being adventerous? Maybe I'm going to the wrong places? I dunno... life is wierd right now and I feel wierd in it. I feel like I'm a outsider looking in, and I can't seem to 'fit' into it... like I'm displaced.

I need real friends... I want people to genuinely care about me... I don't need guys trying to come over and bone me all the time, its not flattering anymore, its just sad. *sigh*

Wheres all the cool people that want to go out and have some fun... just be silly and have a good time? Have we all decided that sex=self-esteem? I don't mind having a fuck buddy so I feel like a hypocrite... but thats not all I want, I want people around me that I can feel like my opinion matters and they really care about Jenn and not just her 'goods'.

Life just isn't really fulfilling anymore... and I'm getting really tired of it all. It's giving me trust issues... and I don't want to add to that already large mountain.

Things have happened in my life,
people and relationships,
they have brought me down,
but I will not stay here.

Rejection haunts me,
being blown off kills me,
I'm tired of being taken advantage of,
when all I want is to be respected.

Love would be nice,
but real friendship would be amazing.
People that I can be open with,
and be able to show them vulnerability.

I'm so frustrated with everyone,
I want to scream my lungs out,
I want it to ring through their eardrums,
burst and bleed them.

Bitterness engulfs me,
and I have to remember not to loose myself.
Anger and resentment cannot lead me,
or cause me to make the wrong decisions.

I just want to be open,
I just want to be loved,
I just want to be understood,
and I want to do the same for others.

So I'll take a deep breath,
and take a step back,
remember that tomorrow is another day,
and that the past is the past.

Yesterday will not control me,
I will not stay beaten down.
I will remember what good people do,
and stay on my own moral path.

I will practive forgiveness when deserving,
and will block out the ones that aren't.
I will remember that not only do I have to look out for me,
but for my son and show him what is right.

So I apologize to anyone I've wronged lately,
being childish was the wrong way to handle it.
I should let the ones who hurt me go,
and if they really care they will come back when they are ready.

- Jenn H.