Why Munster will win the Heineken Cup
Someone tried to tackle David Wallace once but then found out you can't
tackle David Wallace.

The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan
borrowed two bucks from Denis Leamy and forgot to pay him back

You are what you eat. That is why Paul O'Connells diet consists entirely
of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children

The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an
immovable object" was finally solved when David Wallace punched himself
in the face

Denis Leamy sold his soul to the devil for his ability to never feel
pain and unparalleled strength. Shortly after the transaction was
finalised, Leamy bounced the devil before dumping him on hiss ass and
taking his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay
mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker
every second Wednesday of the month.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... The only thing fear has
to fear is Paul O' Connell

Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break David wallace
open you would find another David Wallace inside, only smaller and
angrier.

An Englishman once tried to throw a ball over Denis Leamy's
head......This has gone down as the biggest mistake in rugby history

When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Paul O'Connell

Superman owns a pair of David Wallace pyjamas.

Denis Leamy once had a near death experience*needless to say death now
refuses to come near him.

On Moh's hardness scale, diamond is a 10. Paul O'Connell is an 11.

David Wallace wears a cup not to protect himself, but to protect the
players on the other team.

We all know the magic word is please. As in the sentence, "Please don't
kill me." Too bad Denis Leamy doesn't believe in magic

The world record for most simultanaeous female orgasms was set when Paul
O' Connell took off his top in Paris

David Wallace is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right shoulders

Denis Leamy is Bruce Wayne

Paul O'Connell appeared in the "Mortal Kombat II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to run the
length of the screen and bust his opponent earning him a " Flawless
Victory". When asked about this "glitch," O'Connell replied, "That's no
glitch."

As a child David Wallace used to hunt alligators in the Shannon. I know
what you are thinking: "There are no alligators in the Shannon".
Yeah...Now!

Denis Leamy hates playing 'Rock Paper Scissors' because he doesn't
believe anything could beat rock. He always chooses rock, and when
someone throws paper, he says,"I win." If someone is foolish enough to
dispute this, he takes his clenched fist and punches them in the face,
then says, "I thought your paper would protect you."

Human females have two X chromosomes. Males have an X and a Y. Paul
O'Connell has three Ys and a P. He's more man than you'll ever be.

Denis Leamy Paul O' Connel and David Wallace once went to Wembley to see
England v Ireland in a soccer match. They stood in the middle of the
English crowd in their Irish jerseys. This has gone down in history as
the only time a whole stadium sang the away teams national anthem and a
minute silence was held for the home teams'.

Seo dhibh a cháirde duan Óglaigh,
Cathréimeach briomhar ceolmhar,
Ár dtinte cnámh go buacach táid,
'S an spéir go min réaltogach
Is fonnmhar faobhrach sinn chun gleo
'S go tiúnmhar glé roimh thíocht do'n ló
Fé chiúnas chaomh na hoiche ar seol:
Seo libh canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann. 

Curfá:
Sinne Fianna Fáil
A tá fé gheall ag Éirinn,
buion dár slua
Thar toinn do ráinig chugainn,
Fé mhóid bheith saor.
Sean tír ár sinsir feasta
Ní fhagfar fé'n tiorán ná fé'n tráil
Anocht a théam sa bhearna bhaoil,
Le gean ar Ghaeil chun báis nó saoil
Le guna screach fé lámhach na bpiléar
Seo libh canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann.

Cois bánta réidhe, ar árdaibh sléibhe,
Ba bhuachach ár sinsir romhainn,
Ag lámhach go tréan fé'n sár-bhrat séin
Tá thuas sa ghaoith go seolta
Ba dhúchas riamh d'ár gcine cháidh
Gan iompáil siar ó imirt áir,
'S ag siúl mar iad i gcoinne námhad
Seo libh, canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann.

Curfá

A bhuíon nách fann d'fhuil Ghaeil is Gall,
Sin breacadh lae na saoirse,
Ta scéimhle 's scanradh i gcroíthe namhad,
Roimh ranna laochra ár dtire.
Ár dtinte is tréith gan spréach anois,
Sin luisne ghlé san spéir anoir,
'S an bíobha i raon na bpiléar agaibh:
Seo libh, canaídh Amhrán na bhFiann.

Curfá

The Soldiers Song

We'll sing a song, a soldier's song,
With cheering rousing chorus,
As round our blazing fires we throng,
The starry heavens o'er us;
Impatient for the coming fight,
And as we wait the morning's light,
Here in the silence of the night,
We'll chant a soldier's song.

Chorus:
Soldiers are we
whose lives are pledged to Ireland;
Some have come
from a land beyond the wave.
Sworn to be free,
No more our ancient sire land
Shall shelter the despot or the slave.
Tonight we man the gap of danger
In Erin's cause, come woe or weal
'Mid cannons' roar and rifles peal,
We'll chant a soldier's song.

In valley green, on towering crag,
Our fathers fought before us,
And conquered 'neath the same old flag
That's proudly floating o'er us.
We're children of a fighting race,
That never yet has known disgrace,
And as we march, the foe to face,
We'll chant a soldier's song.

Chorus

Sons of the Gael! Men of the Pale!
The long watched day is breaking;
The serried ranks of Inisfail
Shall set the Tyrant quaking.
Our camp fires now are burning low;
See in the east a silv'ry glow,
Out yonder waits the Saxon foe,
So chant a soldier's song.

Chorus