A man needs love
but above love is trust and character.
He needs to be trusted and surrounded by those that he trusts.
He needs to have character, one of honor and be surrounded by the same.
What good is love if there is no trust and honor.
A man is defined by the choices he makes and those that he chooses to surround himself with.

No matter how common lying is in today's society, it tears down one's character and the character of those that surround them. Those that they associate with.
Columnist Clifford Longley correctly notes: "Lies hurt the liar and the lied-to, at the profoundest level of their being, by severing that essential contact between mind and reality."

One lie can break down relationships, friendships and families. One lie can break down what took years to build.  

A man needs to be a man of honor. Surrounded by those that he honors. Without that he is hollow and empty.

Just some random thoughts and ramblings. Critiques welcome.

Not good enough for anyone.

time ticks on
time is gone
I look back at my life
and it cuts like a knife.

Seems like I'm not good enough for anyone.

I'm not too picky
not trying anything tricky
all I want is someone to find the real me
all I want is someone to see the special me

But I'm just not good enough for anyone.

all I have to offer is myself
my personality is not off the shelf
I have a heart of gold
or at least that is what I am told.

I've never been good enough for anyone.

I give my all in everything I do
I love things that are new
but I am so tired of the chase
but still will not resort to haste

I'm not good enough for anyone.

those with whom time I spend
loves me only as a friend.
is that all I have to offer
all I have is friendship in my coffers?

Surely not good enough for anyone.

I will not give up
I will drink my own cup
maybe my soulmate is still out there
but who the hell fucking cares.

Not good enough for anyone.

Thanks Kat.  (Idea stolen from Kat)

What memories do you have of me?

Leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Next, re-post this in your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty cool (and funny) to see the responses. Repost as "memories."

Reprint of earlier bulletin:

Dani, Jessica and Kevin
You guys are awesome!!! Thank you, thank you and more thank you's.

To everyone else, here is how the story unfolds.

Long story short, I was stuck on I-20 about 20 miles from where Dani, Jessica and Kevin live. They drove all the way out there to help me. First they stopped by Walmart to buy some jumper cables and then a good Samaritan tow truck driver stopped by and helped out (more about him later). They followed the tow truck all the way back to an AutoZone and waited to make sure that I was OK. Love you guys!!!

Now about that tow truck driver. He just happened to stop by and ask if I needed help. First thing out of my mouth was I don't have any money. I need to get a battery I know and that was all the money I had. He said, "no problem, we'll get you fixed up and just give me what you can." Cool. so he put my car on a flat bed and took it to AutoZone, my group of friends were already on their way. We get to AutoZone and he helps me get the battery out of my car and because I was all dressed up, he caried it into the store. I carried the battery back out and he helped me but it back in the car. I had 35 dollars left so I gave him 32 of it because I need to get some gas too. I got the car started and everyone was on their way.
Not the end of the story. I get started and my car is billowing white smoke out the exhaust. My car is running rougher and rougher. After about 5 miles, it konks out. I can't start it. I call the tow truck driver (he gave me his card) and he is back to help me. Now he knows that I don't have any money left but he loads up my car and takes it to my mechanic. This drive is an 18 mile trek for him. After he unloads my car, I was gonna wait to call my dad to pick me up but he offered to drop me off, another 5 mile trek. On the way home we pass a Champs and he asked me if I was hungery because he knew I didn't have a chance to have lunch because I was stuck on the side of the road but I declined. When he dropped me off, I thanked him profusely and told him I owed him big time. He said don't worry about it, that Karma does wonders. I am dumbfounded. Karma can be a bitch but can also be an angel too.

I look around
and no one is there.
I feel like there is
no one to care.

My heart echos
in all it's chambers.
Echos of voices
from hot embers.

Embers from letters
burned in the fire.
Embers from love
left to expire.

Love that was ignored
and atrophied.
Love that was imagined
and trophied.

Not looking for lust
with all it's trappings.
Just looking for someone
to share a little laughing.

Here I have written
and bared my soul.
So my heart won't be bitter
and harden to coal.

I read a friend's poem and it talked about love. It got me thinking. These are my thoughts:

To love or to be loved, Which is better. If you think about it, to look for just one and not the other would be selfish. Love is unselfish in it's truest form. Both, to love and to be loved, actually feeds into the other.
There are so many people looking for what they call "true love." True love is so hard to find but it is not something that can actually be found. But it is something that is cultivated.  
Everyone has a different definition of true love. Some say that is it to love someone more than you love yourself. But isn't this what firemen and policemen show when they run into a burning building to save someone that they don't even know. The ancient Greeks called this 'agape' love. This is defined as principled love or godly love.
The ancient Greeks had three other words that we translate into "love." 'Eros' which is romantic or erotic love. 'Eros' is self explanatory. There is also 'philia' which is brotherly love. This one is the kind of love that one has for a very close relative or best friend. The fourth is 'storge' which is familial love. Love for someone that related to you even if you don't know them.
To me true love is a combination of all 4 of these. When you love someone more than you love yourself. You love them romantically. You are physically attracted to them. They are your best friend. They are like family to you. It takes time to develop and cultivate. Takes patience and persistence.

One day!!!

Put in your two cents on this. This is something that everyone has an opinion on. You may not agree with my opinion or you may agree. Enlighten me!!!

Standing on the beach
watching the birds go by me.
Are they happy flying?

Do they feel lonely
gliding all alone, soaring
day in and day out?

Do they look for love?
Happy if left alone with
none to call their own.

Can I be like them
going through life so care free?
Need no one but me.

I just found this video and it makes me smile. Not really sure why, maybe the memories, maybe the lyrics. Maybe it was the smile on the girl in the flying nun's hat. Maybe it's just the word, "GROOVY." Thanks for reminding me of this Monika. :o)

Empty school hallways, lined with lockers with no locks
Church on Monday morning, with doors still locked
Bell tower, with a long chain, hanging, but no bell
Guitar, hollow and no strings, without a note to sell.

My life is full of sweetness, people with kind words
they fall upon my ears, but i feel disturbed.
My heart feels hollow but full of sand
shifting with the waves so no one can stand.

Echos
Quiet
Walls
Gates

Pushing everyone out, is this my fate?

There have been many to touch
my heart, soul and such.
But now I seem to keep
my love hidden and deep.

It has been buried by the pains in my past
what worries me is to move on too fast.
Although it's been 32 months since my heart tore in two
I'm still afraid of starting anything new.

Today I am no longer bruised, battered and bitter
I'm in a happy place and a happy space despite her.
All this, though, has made my heart callous and numb
my heart is like a hitchhiker who can't stick out his thumb

But I'd rather walk alone than hurt another's heart
that's why I have trouble with making a start.
It's not courage I lack in making a pass,
it's fear of the damage that may go on to last.

I know how it feels to feel empty inside
for lost love forever I have already cried.
Even though it is lonely like an empty hall
but to risk another's heart is not my call.

Life has now changed
I'm now comfortable with the night
daytime is strange
I can't handle the light

I see her walk by
I stay in the shadows
her sent makes me high
as did the blood on the gallows

I follow to her house
to her window I fly
she unbuttons her blouse
her breasts make me sigh

I shall wait for her to sleep
and I'll bite with all my might
sink my teeth in real deep
and my dark love to her invite.

Today I'm in a funk
my mind is full of junk
like a trunk full of gadgets and tools.

The screwdrivers are out of order
the sockets are out of their sorter
and the grease is squeezed out of the tube.

I'm in a good place
I am enjoying my space
I am happy that I am doing good.

I just tried to quit smoking
but I must be joking
because the camels I just bought are through

(((BIG HUGS))) everyone.