I just joined your club. Yeah, someone decided to steal my phone last night at like midnight. It kinda sucks, a 400 dollar phone just gone in 2 seconds.... I suppose it is my fault for leaving it somewhere where people can get it.... however... that doesn't change my thought that people suck. GO GET A F@$KING job people. Stop stealing from people who work their asses off for the things they have. Luckily, I work for T-Mobile, so a new phone isn't that hard to come by.... However, I still have to pay 400 bucks for the phone I need to replace.

 

anywho... so, that being said.... I need your phone numbers... so send them to me... that is, if you want me to call you.

Also, I need people to tell me jokes to cheer me up cause I'm sad.

 

Also, I need some candy.

Also, I'm kinda broke, so I'll have sex for money if anyone is interested.

Also, does anyone else know anything about squirrels?

Also, hello.

 

So I was browsing the web as I sometimes do on that rare night when I dont have a date....silence! I kill you!.... and I was looking at some funny videos. So I found this one guy on you tube who has like several different videos on youtube... some are kinda language filled so dont open them if you are at work, or at church, or in front of your grandmother cause she will probably stab you so something worse... But there were several videos that made me laugh and reminded me of my friends.

So without further adieu I give you the videos by this guy that perfectly decribe each one of my friends.

Stephen Pierce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmG4X9PGOXs&feature=user

Greg Padilla:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15S0g8pG6HU&feature=user

This one reminds me of Pitts... to a T....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4PgaX3cNpU&feature=user

Kinda Justin.... not really though... but kinda
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qapa7Xv4H-M&feature=user

This one kinda reminds me of me at times.... sad huh?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGLvM4um2Hs&feature=user

I like this one
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxp3zqIqO68&feature=user

this one is just funny....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUIRJiYEWo&feature=user


Anywho, I am bored.... hope you guys are bored too....

Well, after 25 yrs of being alive, Stephen is gonna be a daddy. No it's not me, like all you rumor mongering drama loving kiddies thought it would be. :-) But enough about you, lets talk about me. The real news is that after a 4 year absense, I have finally re-enrolled at University of South Alabama. So, What does this mean you ask? Well, the average IQ of south just dropped by 11 points.  Way to go huh?  So I am not really sure what possessed me to do this... Lets just say I was very much inspired to do such a thing. I dont think I am quite the same person I was when I was last in school. I am twice the man I was then.... literally and figuratively.... But I feel like I will do a lot better, sure I haven't gotten any more intelligent (thats for damn sure) but I feel more focused and motivated, and hey, maybe I'll actually go to class this time.

Anyways, in all actuality, I am kinda scared about this whole situation. I am kinda worried and wondering if I will do well. I guess I just fear failure, so everyone wish me luck.

Also, Buck is a daddy also.... I'll update you all on that when I have a chance

several of you have been begging for this, and it has been several months, so I guess I will update you on the past few months. where to begin, ok well I will hit the high notes with this one and try to make you all laugh, although there have been some majorly sad things happy to but. Let's start with the past 4 months, Buck, being the genius dog that he is has done several things that were REALLY dumb... For one he had surgery on his foot. Poor little bugger cracked his toenail all the way back up into his foot and had to have it removed. They put him to sleep, well not that type of put him to sleep, they gave him some anasthesia, so when we brought him home it was hilarious to try to call him to you. He was drunk as piss off of the drugs and pain medicine they gave him. That all ran me about 300 bucks.... stupid dog.... But it was worth it cause I love him.  Everything was going well, we were playing and then one day I got home from work and he was laying in the back yard breathing heavily. I checked him out and he wouldn't move, so I took him to the water and threw some on him. he drank some, fell down and threw up on himself. so I rushed him to the vet. Rhem animal clinic diagnosed him with Parvo and told me it was going to be 2800 dollars to save him. So, I took him home, they offered no advice, it was basically pay me this or your dog will die. so I left not knowing what to do. I was literally in tears (all you guys know what I am talking about when your dog is dying, there is nothing unmanly about it, and if you think there is I'll break your face) So I'm crying on my way home and Buck is still sick, he knows something is wrong with me, so he crawls across the seat of the truck and puts his head in my lap and looks up to me. and the only thing I could think is "how can I tell my son he has cancer and is going to die, and there is nothing daddy can do about it."

(insert paragraph here)

So I then called my mom (what any good upset southern boy would do) and she got on the phone, I was basically told my the animal shelter to keep him hydrated every 15 minutes until you can get him to the vet in the morning... They had found a vet that would do it for 700 (which is doable).... a few hours later I got a call from our family vet. Dr. Duke from duke animal clinic on schillinger. He treated buck and it only cost me 200 bucks.... imagine that... So basically what I am saying is Screw Rhem, go to Duke.... he is amazing... And also he said "buck doesn't have parvo, they misdiagnosed him".... at first I was like yeah whatever tests dont lie. but he checked him and buck is well, now.... so.... Duke Wins!

That was one disaster avoided. And buck was back to normal a week later. Of course everyone knows buck is troublesome and loves to rough house. so much that the dumb butt constantly runs into furniture and likes to hurt himself, the clumsy bastard.  But he is still constantly getting the ladies.... he REALLY likes girls, and isn't afraid to show them how much he likes them.... poor nicole.....

another side note, I forgot how much boxers like to dig in the summer to keep cool. (work to keep cool? sounds dumb) But yesterday I walked outside to stretch my legs and almost died when I almost stepped in a hold a good 5 feet deep. he has dug a whole UNDER THE F***ing House!!!! literally... he has dug under the slab a good foot and a half... I have since filled it in.... but I will bet if I go out there now the little S!7 will have dug it deeper. Judging by the S!7 eating grin on his face right now I am right (did he learn to read over over my shoulder?)  I guess he is ALWAYS wanting inside, he has gone to the links of trying to knock down the  door by running full speed at it (that one lasted about 3 tries til he was unconcious.... not from the door, from the hammer I hit him with)  he has tried chewing on the house, I guess to go through it (mmmm vinyl siding is yummy) and had tried climbing (I fixed him though. I moved his dog house) so now I guess he is trying to tunnel his way into the house. I keep having this fear that he is going to push up through the tile floor one day. I would probaly let him stay in for permanent if he pulls that one off.... either that or put him back in teh hole and fill it with water... muah ha hahahahah just kidding. that dog is my life. I freaking love him.. He also has learned how to dance. is is pretty good at the waltz (thanks for teaching him jessi) the guy is definitely a ladies man, people come to see him and forget I am there. Next time people, bring some dog food. the little guy only weighs 65 pounds and eats every 30 seconds.

Sorry it hasn't been as entertaining as others... I will try to do better next time.... until then.... you keep it classy San diego


I have also discovered that buck really likes the taste of weed eater string that is moving as 120MPH.... stupid dog....

also my sister was very worried to the point of tears because buck was sick. how not rude.

so as most of you know... for a while now I have been playing around at the whole gym thing... yeah I go religiously... I'm in the gym every day... but it has been more of a hobby I guess... I've been really trying to do the whole power lifting thing... well, some things recently have changed in my life and I have kinda switched gears a little... I don't think I wanna do power lifting any more... of course I still wanna be big and strong and all... but I just recently decided I wanted to do something more along the lines of body building, so I have committed myself to a, well I don't like to call it a diet.... I wanna call it a life style....for the past 3 and a half weeks I've been eating right and in the gym consistently and I am now doing a little more cardio... I know this all sounds very vain to you guys and if you know me (and I mean really know me) you know that I am not a vain person... but I am just kinda expressing this on paper so that in 3 months when either I have failed miserably or when I am succeeding I have osmething to come back to... I know I have at least 5 years worth of work to do to acheive any major goals... but I am getting there... I am super super motivated right now... I am reading a lot about it, watching it on tv, I a mbecoming obsessed with it... it fascinates me....but normal people really wouldn't understand.....my 5 yr goal is 6'2 275lbs and about 10-12 percent body fat... right now I am at 240 with about 20 percent.... ahh... seems so far away... which if you do the calculations correctly (which I cannot) it basically means I need to lose about 3 pounds of fat... and gain about 60 pounds of muscle... and after doing things completely incorrect over the past 2 years... I have a trainer now... so I am relearning... yay... (see I can admit when I am wrong) but since I started eating right (7 times a day... I get tired of eating) I have gained about 8 pounds... and I don't think it is fat... but who knows.. .we will see in 12 more weeks when I have my finally measureup.... well, I don't know why I wrote this for all you to read... but if you are reading it then either you really care, or you are bored as piss.... either way.... eh... what do I really care I'm the king of apathy

so this blog is not about buck... although I will throw in that he is doing well....

it is amazing to see how some people are the complete opposite of what you thought, or what you believed they were. but it is also amazing to see how some people are exactly what you suspect them to be. this situation has happened to me within the recent history. I will speak of the negative first. making a long story short, said person used all the weird mystical powers that they hold to try to sway my thinking. by clouding my judgement, whispering sweet things to me and the like. appearing like an angel. news flash to me.... satan can appear as an angel of light too... kinda weird... it's funny how people can be so cruel to lead you on to believe on thing or the other just for seemingly the sole purpose of making the knife puncture just a little more deep when they finally plunge that dagger in your heart attempting to break you.,, but as I have said before and now firmly stand on this ideal... you can't hurt what doesn't have a heart... so nice try person, I commend your efforts, but in the end... you failed miserably, because I have no soul... thanks for playing though, it has been fun...

but on a happy note/ bittersweet note... my best friend since highschool just moved... he is pursuing his dream to be a writer and he and his wifey have moved to the west coast... good luck you guys... I have all the respect in the world for these to for just doing it the way they have... just deciding to do it. I always expected big things from him... and it looks like he will do them... I am proud to be his friend... it makes me jealous, wanting to do something similar, but I will probably always be stuck here in mobile alabama... (and the crowd goes wild) well, for now that is it... good luck with life person... and good luck in cali neil and megan... you guys keep on rockin in the free world

on a side note I have also noticed that apathetic has become my favorite word... and emotion/ outlook on life with a lot of things... it's kinda like my motto... eh.... it's not that I'm lazy.... it's that I don't care.... peace out

so.... this is just a short update... there was an attempted murder in my family... and it was done by someone very close to me... and I don't know if I can ever look at them the same... in fact I know I can't... it has really been eating at me and I really wanna seek revenge... but this person has been one of my best friends for so long... let me tell you the event...then I will tell you the story... Spotts tried to kill Buck....

the story:
there we were doing what we do best... rocking out and having super enlightening conversations about greenpeace and world hunger (with vince's random incoherent babbling every now and then... which we forgive cause he is partially deaf).... :::translation::: we were playing madden and talking about who is cuter, kate beckinsale or kate hudson... which everyone knows kate hudson wins.... anyways... I told spotts and his girlfriend "hey, y'all be careful, buck is laying under neathe the reclinder thing there..." so no sooner did I get this out of my mouth (plus about 3 minutes) when I got up and went to my room when I hear the most god awful scream... it was buck... spotts had closed him up in the couch... andn ot only had he attempted to shut it... but after it wouldn't close teh first time he tried to force it shut a second time by pushing harder... all while buck is screaming.... now spotts isn't the brightest crayon, nor the prettiest... but he's no brown...but on the subject of brown, we think there is something wrong with buck... vince says he thinks that he blew out an "O-ring" cause that dog pretty much crapped himself... the smell was SOOO bad.... and he has been doing it ever since...most people keep telling me its no big deal, that it was probably an accident.... but I see the way he looks at that dog... and I am thinking that maybe it was spotts and not stephen that killed the last dog " kiddo"... so if you see spotts, you should ask him why he hates animals so much and why he tried to kill my dog... maybe if he knows we are watching him he won't try it again.... well, kids other than that... life is pretty grand.... there should be a few new changes coming to the page soonish... and maybe a new layout... I dunno... we might even hit up bed bath and beyond... I dunno... I dunno if we'll have time... plus team X is officially 1 and 0 as of tonight... anywho... do me a flavor and harrass spotts about it...

heartbroken,
JB

so I'll tell you one thing, fritos chili cheese wraps are at least the 3rd best thing I have ever put in my mouth.... number 73635165161324 on the list would be my foot....

well, I have not much news actually to report on, everything is going well, this is probably going to end up being short but I thought I would at least share with everyone the fact that I am now and uncle! which I am excited about, I know I have been an adopted uncle for a while with molly pitts... but I am actually an official uncle...my little neice was born on saturday and she is a doll... well not literally... but she is pretty awesome... she was flipping my sister off last I heard... so she learns fast... she is going to do well in my family....  but this whole ordeal actually makes me ponder a lot of things... like a lot of deep philosophical questions... like for one "what the heck were people thinking when they decided to have kids?"  another would be "is there a God, or allah, or buddha or whatever higher being is out there?" another question would be," am I officially old?", "should I be looking to settle down?", "why am I always so tired?", " does this dress make me look fat", what the heck are those two reindeer doing in stephen's front yard? (it wasn't me, it was colleen who did it stephen I promise!).... so needless to say this has made me to think, and I admit I am confused... some of these answers are obviously yes... some obviously no... others are maybe... but my consensus to most are I just don't care one way or the other... lol....

anyways, I am an uncle, fritos chili cheese wraps are amazing, the reindeer are mating, and buck is probably watching them are the main points to this blog.... speaking of the little jerk, he is doing well andI shall post a blog in the next few days updating you all on him... otherwise... you should come by and see him if you cant wait... he is doing well... but bring gifts for him... he acts like he never eats... so he eats everything in the back yard... including pieces of the fence and house... don't ask...  read the following blog to get more details... until then...

goodnight

JB

SOOOO as you all can guess what is about to come, once again it is time for anoth installment of the buck saga... So... there is a party at mother's....

So as most of you know I am probably one of the top 3 musicians that I live with... actually I am one of only 2 people of the 3 that I live with that plays an instrument... and since I play more than one instrument I win... or so I thought, most of you know that I play guitar, not well and it's not something I am proud of but I do play some... for about 7 years now.... man I am an old man... and I also happen to sing... and I can carry a tune surprisingly enough... if I have a bucket... and a lid.... but what I didn't realize is buck has been taking singing lessons... which have now started at roughly 330 in the frickin morning... I mean honestly... what bozo started giving my dog lessons at that time in the morning... If I find out it is you then I will probably do something drastic like make you babysit the little cuss... anywho... normally I would think that this is cute... but I was sleeping well, I mean REALLY well... one of the best sleeps I have had in like well, ever... it's one of those sleeps that you get excited about having... like a first date or something... or maybe a really good cheesburger... or steak... just really excited... not quite christmas excited, or new car excited... but pretty dang excited... so there I was, sleeping my little heart out, not bothering nobody but who????? nobody, thats right (you guys follow along and play really well, cause everyone just saying " nobody" in their hear right? ) so there I was not bother anyone and I hear some wierd noise.... what the crap is that that is waking me up... it sounded roughly like a goat being sexually assaulted by a wildebeast (just trust me, don't question it, I've heard it and it's not pretty) my first thought upon waking up was, someone better be dying or bleeding, if not, they are about to be... anyone who has ever shared a bed or room with me or even a house with me and woken me up knows the look I have on my face (mom if you are reading this I have never shared a bed with anyone that wasn't family, or another male on a church trip cause we were forced to.... and no not that type of church I am baptist not catholic.... oooo I said it... sorry if you are catholic I love you guys... I just couldn't resist.. .admit it... it was funny) anywho... so there I am I wake up and immediately think someone has lost their pet wildebeast... cause in west mobile, thats how we roll... so I wake up... put some clothes on (I sleep half naked... ok fully naked... eww gross you just got a mental picture of me naked... go wash your mind out with soap) so I put on some shoes and walk out back... and lo and behold it is buck and my neighbors dog... and they are howling... now I think to myself... "ted dibiase" (cause that is what I call myself) why is buck and that retarded neighbor dog howling... so I yelled at them to shut up... which buck being a good dog did, and so did the neighbors dog... which lasted roughly til I made it to the door.. .and they started again... so I get the water hose and sprayed them both down... this seemed to work... for about a minute... then they were back at it... now this is where things get a little sticky... I go out there to chase them off again with the hose... and they aren't there... what the heck is going on... I hear noises... but the dogs aren't doing it... so the hunt if on... if the dogs aren't doing it what is it... and I continue to hear the noises.... now if anyone has ever been to my house at night you know there is a piss load of cats in our neighborhood... I don't know who they belong to... but I hate them with every inch of my body... which is a lot.... and since I have gotten a puppy that I feed in the yard they have been trying to steal his food... and cats are sneaky... I don't trust them and I will tell you why... a dog is faithful to his owner... if you are his owner and you die... your dog will protect your body til the day he dies... now if you have a cat... and you die... the cat will protect yoru body til it gets bored... or hungry... then he will eat your body.... so now that you know why I hate cats... back to my point... what do I find behind the shed? 2 cats... papa cat is humping the piss out of mamma cat... and the noise that I had been hearing was the sound of two cats consumating their vows in my back yard... I wasn't fond of this thought at all... that means there are that many more cats in the world... so what did I start to do? I went and got the hose... but then... a moment of remorse hit me... assuming I am married and having sex in my room (evidently my back yard is this cats room) how would I feel is my roommate spotts walked in on my having sex (with my wife... why we are living with spotts I dunno... just go with it) how would I feel if spotts turned the water hose on me... and for about a good 30 second I was kinda in a moral dilemna.... then I thought about it... what if spotts was having sex (with his wife... why he would be living with me is obvious... I'm freakin amazing) and I turned on the hose on them... and I laughed... because man that would be hilarious... think about it... man he would be ticked... so anyway... I did it... I hosed the little jerks down... of course they ran off somewhere else and did it Im sure (which is what I would do, or spotts would do I guess... after beating the piss out of the other).... ( on a side note, I think about how vince would react... and I decided he probably wouldn't stop... he'd just go with it and I would get my butt kicked later... or he'd try to anyway... )so I leave the back yard to go back to bed... satisfied with a job well done... ( you know the type of satisfied... like you just built your A+ science fair project type satisfied, not the I just ate 87 hot wings from hooter type satisfied... you know.... so satisfied that you throw up) and then I thought about it... what the heck was buck doing... first off those cats shouldn't have been in the back yard... he should have been killing them... and then I thought about it... he was watching the cats doing it... I can only assume that he was getting pointers... which since I have to live vicariously through my dog... that is amazing..... but all these thoughts run through my head... and I shall leave my thoughts in my head... because they would get me in trouble... but all you males who read this you know exactly what I am thinking.... and if you don't your gay... and girls... if you need to know.. .ask your boyfriend... or your brother... or me if you must... but I turned around... started to walk out side to ask buck what the heck he was thinking... and as I go to the door I thought about it and smiled... he and the other dog were probably talking about it... cheering them on... lol ... I dunno... just run the little dialog through your head.... I imagine that buck would have a voice... and if he did it would be kinda like a body builder type voice... maybe and accent like arnold or something... and the schnauzer next door would definitely be irish or something... so anyways... I turned back around and went to bed... satisfied to question buck about it the next day... well kids. I know this was kinda off color.. and I apologize... but you keep asking for updates ... so I will write til you heart is content and don't forget.... "there is a party at mothers..." (if you can finish that statement then you are my hero and you will go straight to the top of my friends list)

goodnight kids

once again children it is time for me to give you and update in the life of the mad man that is "buck". Many of you have requested I keep giving updates. so I must oblige. to those of you who didn't request this or don't read my blogs or don't find them funny, it is ok, God will forgive you and bless you with a better sense of humor one day.... I on the other hand don't have to forgive you for not having a sense of humor so I won't. So what is the most recent development in bucks life? a whole lot actually, buck has gotten to be pretty massive. he has more than tripled in size since I acquired the little guy about a month and a half ago... he is really a good friend and a great wing man. yes I said wing man... once again... the whole purpose of me getting a puppy was because I needed a wingman I could depend on... and I would definitely have to say that it works... so any guys who read this.... GET A DOG!!!! and ladies out there who just  may be thinking, hah a dog won't help, I challenge you to come over to my house and just try it.... you will walk away in love with my dog and wanting to come back over.... which is the whole goal... so just try it....I dare you... *ps those who are thinking ha, I will go over there and make sure I don't like the dog, you just lost.... 

once again I will tell you about this little guy, for some reason 90% of everything I do backfires.... except this I thought, "Man, there is no way this can backfire" so I met this girl who shall remain nameless a while back... and we have become really good friends... a very very cool girl... this same female just recently came to the house friday night to meet my best friend... and lo and behold, she was helpless to buck... er...*ahem my charms... I can't describe in detail exactly how he does it... because then you may be able to prepare for it... but guys if you need to know, I am selling the ideas for the low low price of 9.99 a month... just text "love to 53353" hah hah... anyways....so there he is playing being cute... doing the whole licking/biting hair... and just being rather adorable...I get up to get something to drink... and when I come back... there he is... sitting in my seat... I thought to myself, " self, what should we do about this" and my self answered back " just let it go moron, and stop talking to yourself" so I did... I attempted to sit down, and he looked at me like " what the heck are you doing"... he barks at me telling me to get up.... so I picked up the dog, looked into his eyes and since we have this really really deep mental and psychological bond that can only be described as awe inspiring, you would probably crap your pants at how deep of a bond I have with this dog... so I explain in as nice of words as possible... "hey buddy, you are supposed to be my wingman, and youre messing up my swerve" (cause I am smooth so I can use  phrases like that) my friend tells me, aww he's not messing you up.... "he is doing a great job, its more like y...." (I will edit out what she said about who was the one actually messing up lets just say it wasn't buck)  so there we are watching tv, getting our "swerve on" and everything is going well... I'm getting a back rub and my ears scratched behind and my belly scratched... (ok so maybe it was buck getting all that and not me, but if you see a few lines before you will understand that since we have that deep psychological bond then if he is getting his ears scratched so am I... ok so that is kinda lame, kinda soundsl ike I am living vicariously through my dog) so there we/he are getting all this attention and it becomes time for her to leave since she had to be at work the next morning... we stand up walk to the door ( buck follows us to the door, and it becomes time for the normal thing that happens at the end of every "date" (I use this term loosely) the goodbye/ goodnight.... and as all of you guys know what happens then... you know exactly what I am talking about... you can tell if it has been a good date... you can tell if she has had a good time or not by what she does then... (if you don't then go rent the movie "hitch") so I was witty, I was fun, I was charming, I was on my game, I was sexy (didn't even have to try on this one)  I mean I am expecting some good night sugar, or "mouth candy" if you will (yes I am aware that mouth candy is the same thing as regular candy) I'm kinda excited, little nervous, kinda palms sweaty type deal... cause I don't know what I am supposed to do since it's been years since I have been on a real date ( not that I would classify this as a date) and this little guy in my head starts doing this little irish jig dance (I can demonstrate later) I'm thinking ok this is it.. I'm gonna get a kiss and buck is gonna get his head patted again... so I close my eyes and lean in and she leans in really close and gives buck this huge kiss on the lips and pats me on the head and tells me good boy... I was destroyed... I basically just got "cockblocked" by my own dog... and he has this look on his face that can only be described as "exstacy" the wonderful young lady leaves the house smiling and happy and I walk back in with buck... he walks to the door and sits there for about 5 minutes crying wanted her to come back (or maybe that was me) he then comes back to the couch.. snifs for his new girlfriend... continues to cry, climbs up on the couch where she was sitting with this satisfied grin "crap eating grin" and lays down where she was sitting and he falls asleep... needless to say I made the little punk sleep outside that night, but he may have had the last laugh... cause after I took him out and fed him, I came back in to discover what? thats right a present on the bottom of my boot, and yes I tracked it all the way into the laundry room before I realized it.... does my life always have to end this way?  buck gets the girl, someone to feed him, scratch his butt and clean up after him, and bathe him once a week... he is living my dream... I am officially jealous of my arch nemesis buck... the little guys loves her more than he loves me, and she has come back... and you would think... hey that is a good sign... but no... she came back for buck... so now my dog has left with my woman... and I am sad... hah hah! and btw you should totally try laying down with your feet hanging off the couch at my house... you might pee your pants when buck finds your feet... just ask any of the roommates girlfriends...  I am sure I shall update soon, for now I am going to go let him out and beat him for being cooler than me...

well, thats all for this edition, I should be updating again in the next few days though so stay tooned for more adventures in the life of buck

goodnight kids